Rebirth to Save Myself

Chen Yuan was in a bad mood all night because of Su Xia's situation, and went straight to her room to wash up after returning home. Su Xia stared blankly at Chen Yuan's room for a moment, but instead of comforting her, she picked up her phone and sent a message to Chen Wenwei.

Coffee to keep her going: She feels a bit guilty today, go and comfort her.

Chen Wenwei (I'm waiting for the wind and I'm waiting for you): Why?

Coffee to keep you going: Go ask yourself.

After sending the message, Su Xia went back to her room. Meanwhile, Chen Yuan had just finished showering when she discovered that Chen Wenwei had called her three times. Just as she was about to call back, the fourth call came in.

"Hey, what's up so late?"

"Your voice sounds muffled. Do you not like me calling?"

"No, it's not because of you."

"Is that because of Su Xia?"

"I feel like I don't care about Xiaxia enough. Am I being too self-centered?"

"How to say?"

"In my opinion, Xiaxia has always been amazing. She can study well in all subjects, and she can make delicious meals just by looking at a recipe. She can also guide me when I am confused and helpless. But all of this was done by Xiaxia. Looking at myself, what have I done for Xiaxia? It seems like I have done nothing. Today, I was even jealous that Xiaxia took the seat next to Xiaxia. I felt that Xiaxia could make friends with people other than me. I was very unhappy."

"That's because you were Su Xia's first friend. You went to the same school and lived together from elementary school to middle school and then to high school. So it's natural for you to think that Su Xia and you are the best of friends, and that's not wrong."

"Lingling asked me a question today. She asked if Xiaxia and I had agreed to take the entrance exam for the same university. I realized that I've been tacitly agreeing to be with Xiaxia without asking her opinion. What do you think we should do if Xiaxia doesn't want to go to the same university as me?"

"Why would you think that? If you want to ask, then ask her directly. Su Xia won't refuse to tell you. You don't need to overthink things here, and you don't need to doubt Su Xia's feelings for you. Let me add something: I was the one who asked you to take the college entrance exam together first, don't forget that."

"I'll go ask now," Chen Yuan said, getting up to leave, but Chen Wenwei stopped her.

"Don't rush, Miss. If you go over now, Su Xia might already be asleep. It won't be too late to ask her tomorrow!"

"Yeah, I just said I was too self-centered, and I've done it again."

"So, Miss, besides Su Xia's problem, is there anything else that's making you sad?"

"Gone."

"Can you go to sleep now? What time are you planning to sleep in tomorrow?"

"Wake up naturally."

The next day, Chen Yuan unusually got up at 6 a.m. When she stepped out of her room, she saw Su Xia having breakfast. Su Xia turned around and was surprised to see Chen Yuan, then asked, "What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"

"No, I want to run with you."

"Sure, come and have breakfast first."

"Ah."

After Chen Yuan finished breakfast, she went downstairs with Su Xia and found Lu Jingnian already waiting there. Su Xia said, "We've been running together this morning for a while now."

"Oh."

"Good morning, what brings Chen Yuan here today?" Lu Jingnian greeted Su Xia and was surprised to find Chen Yuan there as well.

"Xiaxia and I run together."

"Sure, let's exercise together."

Chen Yuan ran behind Su Xia for a while but couldn't keep up. Unlike Su Xia, who ran every day, she gradually slowed down due to stamina issues, falling behind Su Xia and Lu Jingnian. Su Xia noticed Chen Yuan's unusual behavior, stopped, and asked, "Do you need to rest?"

"Xiaxia, have I been a burden to you?" Chen Yuan was on the verge of a breakdown and asked this question directly.

"You go run first," Su Xia said to Lu Jingnian, then helped Chen Yuan to a chair and sat down, looking at her seriously and asking, "What's wrong?"

"Xiaxia, is there a university you want to apply to?"

"Not at the moment, but there are some majors I'd like to study."

What's your major?

"Self-media major".

"But I"

"Yuanyuan, you are you, and I am me. We can never be the same. Do you remember what I told you before?"

"Remember, we can't be 100% identical."

"So why are you so upset? Our country is so big, it's normal for everyone to study and develop in different places, some people even go abroad. You can't expect everyone to be in the same university and revolve around you, can you? If Chen Wenwei wasn't in the same university as you, would you make him repeat a year?"

"No way, it's fine if we're not in the same school."

"Yes, our Yuanyuan is the best. We need to have our own lives and not always revolve around someone else, otherwise we will become people without a self. If that person doesn't want you anymore, you will feel like your whole world has collapsed."

"I don't quite understand."

"What would you do if Chen Wenwei broke up with you?"

"I... I never thought I would break up with him."

“Yuanyuan, no one can guarantee that you two will always be good together. What if you argue because of disagreements? What if you feel that you are not suitable for each other? What if Chen Wenwei meets a girl he likes more? If you encounter any of these situations, would you beg Chen Wenwei not to abandon you? Would you ask him to stay with you forever and never separate?”

"I don't want to be so humble. If Chen Wenwei doesn't want me, then I don't want him either. I can just find someone else."

“That’s right, that’s how it is.” Su Xia ruthlessly used Chen Wenwei as an example, regardless of whether he would become a scumbag later, he was playing the role of a scumbag now.

"Yes, Xiaxia, I understand." Chen Yuan wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes, as if she had suddenly realized a lot.

"Good that you understand. Remember, you are yourself first, and then you are any other identity."

"alright, I got it."

From that day on, Chen Yuan stopped deliberately trying to chat with Chen Wenwei, and she stopped overthinking because he didn't reply to her messages. She started organizing her life, making time outside of class to run with Su Xia and learn to swim. Her days were packed, and Chen Wenwei could only contact her in the evenings.

Chen Wenwei (Waiting for the Wind and Waiting for You): Yuanyuan, why haven't you been replying to my messages much lately?

Chen Yuan (White Tea, Pure Joy, Nothing to Do): I'm quite busy. I have to memorize English vocabulary and review science subjects. I'm going running with Xiaxia this weekend and learning to swim.

Chen Wenwei (Waiting for the Wind and Waiting for You): That's good, there's something to do.

Chen Yuan (White Tea, Pure Joy, Nothing to Do): Mm-hmm

After experiencing this period of time, Chen Yuan said to Su Xia, "Xiaxia, I feel different from before during this time. It's a very magical feeling."

"That's because you've found your own identity. You're no longer the Chen Yuan who was worried and afraid of losing her. You're a brand new Chen Yuan, shining brightly." Su Xia was also very happy that Chen Yuan had made such a change. She was afraid that Chen Yuan would become the kind of person who was obsessed with love.

"Hehe, I just discovered there are so many fun things, so many interesting things, and so much knowledge I can learn. I finally understand why you were so busy before, yet you didn't seem tired at all." Chen Yuan didn't understand before why you would get up early to run on a perfectly good weekend. Sleeping in is so much better! Why participate in so many competitions and study such difficult problems? The knowledge in the books is enough to pass the exams.

But now that she's done it, she realizes how joyful it is to learn new things. After giving up sleeping in, she discovered how much time she had on weekends—enough to finish all her homework and still have time to pursue her hobbies. She bought a guitar and tried learning her favorite songs. She bought a beautiful swimsuit and learned to swim, enjoying the wonderful feeling of being in the water.

“Yes, because I have things to do and new knowledge to learn. The world is so big, don’t you want to go and see it?” Su Xia smiled at Chen Yuan.

"I want to go, I want to see different scenery. I really liked the last time we went to Pingtan together." Chen Yuan really liked the photos she took at the beach last time, and when she posted them on social media, a lot of people said they were beautiful.

"Then let's live well and try to go out and have fun more often in the future."

"Uh-huh."

Chen Chunqi and Chen Jianguo noticed Chen Yuan's changes and gave their daughter maximum freedom. They didn't interfere much unless it involved breaking the law. If Chen Yuan's grades weren't good, they might nag a little, but they never belittled her or thought she was useless because of her grades. So even though Su Xia occasionally got up early to run, Chen Chunqi didn't ask Chen Yuan to do the same. They certainly wouldn't compare Chen Yuan to Su Xia or criticize her for not being as good or academically gifted as Su Xia. They believed that not all children are good at studying; if one path didn't work, they would try another.

Chen Jianguo said he works so hard to earn money so that his wife and daughter can have a certain degree of freedom, so they don't have to worry about not being able to buy what they want or do what they want because of money. Chen Yuan has changed; she's slowly developing in Su Xia's direction, becoming confident and beautiful. These are positive changes, and of course, they won't interfere.

Chen Wenwei had probably come to understand Chen Yuan's changes. He was disappointed for a while, but then he rallied. He wasn't the type to demand that Chen Yuan revolve around him; he was happy for her transformation. She was no longer lost about the future and had her own goals, so he wanted to move towards his own goals and become someone who could stand shoulder to shoulder with Chen Yuan.

As they approached their senior year of high school, Chen Jianguo called Chen Yuan and Su Xia into his study and asked them, "Do you two want to study abroad?"

"Going abroad? Why do you ask that, Dad?" Chen Yuan was also a little surprised, as going abroad was not part of her life plan.

"I heard Lu Zhongqing mention wanting his son, Lu Jingnian, to study abroad, so I wanted to ask you this question. If you'd like, I'd fully support you," Chen Jianguo said.

"What? Lu Jingnian is going abroad?" Chen Yuan looked at Su Xia, her eyes asking if she knew about this.

"I have no plans to go abroad; I'm preparing to apply to Xiamen University," Su Xia answered first.

"I...I don't know," Chen Yuan answered honestly; she truly didn't know. She had never imagined going abroad, and this question caught her completely off guard.

"Yuanyuan, why don't you look into the procedures for going abroad? If possible, you can start preparing," Chen Jianguo said to Chen Yuan.

"Oh, okay." Chen Yuan agreed without really understanding what going abroad meant.

After they came out, Chen Yuan pulled Su Xia aside and said, "Xiaxia, what are you going to do now that Lu Jingnian has gone abroad?"

Su Xia replied, bewildered, "What do you mean, 'what to do'? What does his going abroad have to do with me? I'll still take the college entrance exam and go to university!"

"But doesn't he like you? How can he go abroad? There are so many beautiful women out there tempting you. What if he gets snatched away?" Chen Yuan was very worried. This Lu Jingnian was someone she had personally approved of!

"Yuanyuan, what are you thinking! Lu Jingnian and I have never been in a committed relationship, so whether he goes abroad or finds another girl is none of my business. You can't expect him to remain celibate and wait for my consent just because he likes me now, right? That's too unfair to him. If I meet a guy I like in the future, should I be with him or with Lu Jingnian?" Su Xia retorted to Chen Yuan.

"Of course I'd be with the guy I like," Chen Yuan replied immediately, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"What about Lu Jingnian? You're telling him he can't have a girlfriend now? He's waited for me for so long, and you're just telling me to dump him?" Su Xia looked at Chen Yuan with amusement.

"This doesn't seem right, but meeting someone you like is very important!" Chen Yuan was also a little troubled; she realized that what she had just done wasn't good. If Su Xia agreed to be with Lu Jingnian now, the two of them would have to go through a cross-border relationship, which would be a very difficult period!

"So, we can't demand that Lu Jingnian continue to like me just because he likes me now! That's not right. He went abroad for better development, and we can't force him to stay for me, right?"

"Yes, I was thinking too one-sidedly."

"It's okay, it's good that you know now."

Meanwhile, Lu Jingnian was somewhat conflicted after leaving his father's study. Lu Zhongqing had informed him that he could start preparing for his trip abroad, but he suddenly felt less enthusiastic about it. His parents had long planned for him to attend university abroad, and with his aunt also living overseas, she could offer some support.

Since junior high school, Lu Jingnian had been preparing to study abroad, participating in competitions and social practice activities—all to build the resume required for his overseas studies application. However, now that he liked Su Xia, he didn't want to go abroad and be separated from her. Secretly, he hoped Su Xia would try to persuade him to stay, which would also mean that Su Xia had some feelings for him.