Rebirth to Save Myself

Chen Chunqi smiled. Now that Chen Yuan was older, it wasn't unreasonable for her to say these things. So she began, "Your dad pursued me because he thought I was pretty. He was very poor at the time, and being the second child in his family with older brothers and younger siblings, your grandparents' attention wasn't on him, so naturally he didn't have much money to marry me. Your maternal grandparents, of course, disagreed, thinking I would suffer if I married into their family. Your dad swore in front of them that he would make sure I had a good life, and that I would live the same way I did in my own home."

My maternal grandparents were also moved by his sincerity, and since your father insisted on separating the family and living separately as soon as we got married, your paternal grandparents agreed, so we moved into the same courtyard as Chen Wenwei's family. After the marriage, your father really didn't let me do any chores. He worked during the day and came home at night to tend the vegetable garden, sometimes even cooking for me. I felt I hadn't married the wrong person, so Chen Wenwei's mother and I both became pregnant around the same time. Ever since your grandmother found out I was pregnant, she kept bringing me folk remedies, saying they were magical formulas that could turn the baby in my belly into a boy. I didn't believe in these things but didn't want to offend your grandmother, so I secretly threw them away.

Upon hearing this, Chen Yuan was shocked and asked, "Does such a thing really exist?"

“Silly child, how could that be? Later, when your grandma found out I hadn’t drunk it, she came to our house and made a scene, saying that I had painstakingly prepared the soup and I hadn’t drunk it. When your dad heard this, he immediately came back and pulled your grandma away. Chen Wenwei was born first, and because it was a boy, your grandma was a little hopeful, but who knew you were a girl. Your grandma immediately started making a scene at the hospital again, saying that I didn’t want to drink the pregnancy-changing medicine so I gave birth to a girl, and that girls have to go to the hospital and spend money.” Chen Chunqi recalled that time when she had just given birth to Chen Yuan and was lying weakly in the hospital bed, and her grandma didn’t even look at her granddaughter before making a scene.

"Is it because Grandma thinks I'm not a boy that she doesn't like me?" Chen Yuan asked. Thinking about it carefully, it seemed that Grandma only started being nice to her after Dad started making money in his business. Before that, she was always indifferent, and sometimes even though her uncle's son had food, she didn't.

“Yes, but your father and I are very happy about your arrival. You are the fruit of our love, our first child, and your father and I vow to make you a little princess, carefree and without worries,” Chen Chunqi comforted Chen Yuan.

"I know, Xiaxia said we can't expect everyone to like us or revolve around us."

“Yes, Xiaxia really taught you a lot, and it’s so good that you have Xiaxia as a friend. Back then, I didn’t understand why your grandma disliked you so much just because you’re a girl. I tried to get you to spend more time with her so she would like you. But I was wrong. They almost abandoned you while I was away.” Chen Chunqi choked up a little as she said this. When she went to her in-laws’ house, she found that her daughter was missing. They tried to hide it from her by saying that her daughter had gone out to play, but Chen Chunqi searched all the places her daughter usually played and couldn’t find her.

Finally, under Chen Jianguo's coercion, they admitted that they had taken Chen Yuan to the mountains and abandoned her, all so that Chen Chunqi would have another child. Because family planning was strictly enforced at the time, this was the only way they could force Chen Yuan to give up her place. When Chen Chunqi found Chen Yuan, the little girl was curled up on the ground, crying and calling for her mother; it broke my heart.

"Oh, is that so? I don't remember this at all." Chen Yuan was also very curious. What happened?

“That happened when you were three years old. We cut off all ties with your grandma and the others after that. It wasn’t until your dad started earning money that they came back with the audacity to say that we were all family and couldn’t be so heartless. If we weren’t in the same village and everyone was trying to persuade us, we wouldn’t have agreed to have any contact with them. Even though we did have contact, it was just for show. They knew they were in the wrong, so they couldn’t pretend to be innocent after getting the benefits.”

Chen Chunqi felt utterly disgusted when she recalled that time. A group of people stood on their moral high ground to attack Chen Jianguo, accusing him of being unfilial. They said Chen Jianguo had been instigated by Chen Chunqi to cut off contact with his family, and Chen Jianguo's parents even accused Chen Chunqi of being unfilial, saying she had treated them badly since their marriage. If it weren't for Chen Jianguo's overwhelming affection for Chen Chunqi, they would have already instigated their divorce. With a daughter-in-law like that, any mistreatment of one's own parents was all the daughter-in-law's doing behind their backs.

"Oh, how could this be? In my memory, Grandma was very good to me. Sometimes she even gave me more New Year's money than my cousins. I thought, I thought my grandma was different from Xiaxia's grandma." Chen Yuan couldn't believe the truth. From as far back as she could remember, her parents had always treated her warmly when they took her to her grandma's house. They would cook whatever she liked, let her play with snacks and toys as she pleased, and she could ask her cousins ​​for anything she wanted. But Chen Chunqi wouldn't allow her to do that, so she always had to negotiate and ask for something in return.

"Once you become rich, everyone around you will be a good person." Chen Chunqi sighed. In that kind of small mountain village, everyone could easily criticize you to death with their words. Even if Chen Chunqi's parents, brothers, and sisters didn't believe that Chen Chunqi was that kind of person, the power of rumors was too great, and they could only feel helpless.

"Growing up is so scary, having to face so many things." Chen Yuan felt a chill run down her spine, and she shuddered when she learned about the time she was abandoned.

“It’s all in the past. Medical conditions weren’t very good when I gave birth to you, so I was left with health problems. The doctor advised me not to have any more children. So I had a contraceptive surgery with your father by my side. By then, your father was already in business, so your grandmother didn’t dare to make any more trouble.” Chen Chunqi actually admired Chen Jianguo quite a bit. In an era when everyone was trying their best to have a son, he actually took the initiative to take her to have the surgery.

His relatives and friends all came to persuade him, saying that if he had another son, Chen Yuan would have someone to rely on; that if he had another son, there would be descendants; that if he had another son, his property wouldn't be taken away by his brothers. Chen Jianguo refused them all, saying, "If my wife dies because of a little thing whose gender I don't even know, who will take responsibility?"

The relatives, listening to this, thought to themselves, "These days, which woman doesn't have children? Which woman is done after having just one girl? So many women have children without any problems, why is it only your wife who's having issues? Besides, leaving you with a child is already a merit of your wife. If you can't bear to part with your wife later, then don't remarry, just raise your two children yourself, that's fine."

Chen Jianguo bluntly stated that if anyone mentioned having a second child in front of him again, they should discontinue being his relative or friend. Seeing his ever-expanding business empire, everyone thought they might rely on Chen Jianguo in the future, so it was best not to fall out with him. They all kept quiet and began praising Chen Yuan for her beauty, intelligence, and wit; every compliment they could think of was used on her. They understood that if Chen Jianguo didn't have any more children, Chen Yuan would be an only child, and if their sons married her, all of Chen Jianguo's assets would belong to their sons.

But to everyone's surprise, Chen Jianguo actually recognized Su Xia as his goddaughter, saying that whichever daughter was capable would inherit the family business. Listen to that! What kind of nonsense is that? The family fortune definitely belongs to Chen Yuan's biological daughter. What is Su Xia? She doesn't have Chen family blood. Even distant relatives of the Chen family are more qualified to inherit than Su Xia!

However, Chen Jianguo was mostly busy out of town at that time, and Chen Chunqi was also a stubborn person. Later, the whole family simply moved to the provincial capital and never came back. When they did come back, they would only go to Chen Chunqi's house, so there was no chance to have any contact with him, let alone give him a lecture.

"I'm sorry, Mom. If it weren't for me..." Chen Yuan felt guilty after hearing Chen Chunqi's words, feeling that it was her fault that Chen Chunqi's poor health was caused by her.

"Silly child, what are you thinking? It was a decision your father and I made together. You didn't participate in the vote, so how can we blame you? No one can predict these things, so it's no one's fault." Chen Chunqi affectionately patted Chen Yuan's head.

The two chatted for a while longer until Chen Jianguo knocked on the door: "If you don't come out soon, Xiaxia and I will eat by ourselves. Xiaxia made a big meal today, it's so delicious, my mouth is watering just smelling it."

"Dad, how can you eat alone!" Chen Yuan heard from inside the room that Su Xia had cooked the meal, and immediately ran out and rushed to the dining room.

Chen Jianguo smiled, walked to Chen Chunqi's side, took her hand and said, "You've worked hard today, wife."

“What’s so hard about it? How could I abandon my daughter?” Chen Chunqi gently slapped Chen Jianguo and said, “Let’s go, Xiaxia and the others are waiting for us.”

"okay."

As Chen Chunqi and Chen Jianguo came out hand in hand, they saw Su Xia and Chen Yuan busy at the dining table, one setting the bowls and chopsticks and the other setting the chopsticks, muttering as they worked, "Why haven't they come out yet? The food is getting cold."

Su Xia smiled and then said to her, "Let them have a little time together and strengthen their relationship."

"They're both grown up, and their daughter is already so big, yet they're still so lovey-dovey. Tsk tsk tsk." Chen Yuan said dismissively, indicating that she'd been eating this dog food for over a decade and was tired of it.

“I’m old, in my seventies or eighties, and I still want to be all lovey-dovey with your mother. If you can’t stand it, then move out,” Chen Jianguo said directly.

"What are you saying in front of a child?" Chen Chunqi punched Chen Jianguo in the chest, then quickly separated from him.

"Eat, eat! We're already full from all this dog food." Su Xia quickly waved her hand, and Chen Yuan, unable to bear it any longer, also sat down to eat.

That night, Chen Yuan went to Su Xia's room to sleep again. Seeing Chen Yuan enter, Su Xia said, "I want to sleep. Can't we talk about it during the day? I'm still in puberty, still growing, sleep is crucial for me!"

"Xiaxia, I always thought I had a happy and fulfilling life, but it turns out it was all an illusion. My grandma and all my relatives and elders dislike me so much, just because I'm a girl." Chen Yuan's voice sounded a little aggrieved, as if she was about to cry at any moment.

“But you’re doing well now. Your parents love you, and your relatives are warm towards you. Isn’t that enough? As for what happened before, you’re too young to know. Your parents have already sought justice for you.” Su Xia could roughly guess some of the issues in Chen Yuan’s family, which were similar to her own—both stemming from the lack of a son. What she lamented was that Chen Jianguo was different from her father. He was good to his wife and daughter, providing them with a safe haven. Her father, however, only wanted the same things as everyone else: a male heir to carry on the family line.

"I'm still a little sad. What if I run into these relatives or Grandma later and can't act like nothing happened?" Chen Yuan was still a little worried, afraid that her grandmother would criticize her because of her attitude.

“Yuanyuan, you are you. You don’t need to pretend, nor do you need to act like nothing happened and continue to greet them with a smile. You need to know that you are the one involved in these things, and no one can decide for you whether to forgive them or not. The reason your parents didn’t want to tell you this time was probably because they were afraid of hurting you and damaging your grandparents’ image in your eyes. But can you really stay ignorant about these things for the rest of your life? Can they guarantee that they will never show their true colors in front of you?”

"Can I just ignore them, not associate with them, and not go to their house?"

"of course can."

"Won't people say I'm unfilial, impolite, or something like that?"

"Of course it will, but would you change yourself because of it? Even if you know they're wrong, would you still care about what others say and compromise yourself to please them?"

"No, I don't want it to be like this."

"Yes, so you need to know that you are the one who can change yourself. No matter who it is, even if it's Chen Wenwei, if they ask you to give up or make you feel wronged, you can abandon them and just be yourself."

"oh, I understand now."

"If you understand, go to sleep. I'm sleepy."

"No, let's talk some more."

What else are you planning to talk about?

"Xiaxia, do you hate your parents?" Chen Yuan asked cautiously. Actually, she had wanted to ask this for a long time, but she kept it to herself for fear of upsetting Su Xia. Now that she knew that her own childhood was not easy either, and that it was probably due to the mutual dependence between them, she asked the question on this night.

"Ruthless? That's such a distant word. I can't even remember what ruthlessness is anymore." Su Xia's voice was soft and calm, but it sounded like someone standing on the edge of a cliff in a deep forest, looking into the distance in loneliness.

"Don't you feel wronged? I feel very wronged. Gender is not something I can decide, so why blame it on me?" Chen Yuan seemed fine today, but she was still deeply hurt inside.

"Yeah, I feel wronged. I don't understand why I try to make some efforts to gain their approval, as if their approval would make me different. But as I grow up, I realize that no matter how much I do, it can't make up for the differences that come with being a gender."