Starting a new chapter in life

When you're engrossed in your work, time flies by, and you're less aware of the outside world. It wasn't until Zhizhi's script was nearing completion and she could finally catch her breath that she learned that the pandemic wasn't just severe in Beijing, or even in China; it had actually spread globally.

Unfortunately, she was trapped in the film studio, or rather, all the film crews shooting here during this period were trapped here. The city was under lockdown, and everyone could only move around in their own area. The film studio, as an area, was also subject to traffic restrictions.

She and Cheng Heng were somewhat relieved that they had brought almost all the food from home beforehand. Well then, the couple decided to stay at the hotel and celebrate the New Year on their own. In order to eat well, they even went to borrow the hotel kitchen. Zhizhi planned to cook a few good meals. To be honest, it had been several years since she had cooked, and she wondered if her skills were still there.

After finishing and tasting it, she realized her skills had declined somewhat, but overall it was still pretty good, not the best, but not the worst either. However, the New Year's Eve dinner was really simple. She was really bad at making noodles, and takeout orders had stopped. She didn't know how to knead dough, so naturally she couldn't make dumplings. This was the first time in her life she had spent a New Year without dumplings.

After dinner, she called her mother, but her mother didn't look well in the video call. She was pale and coughing. Zhizhi was worried: "Mom, do you have a cold? Why are you coughing? Your back is injured, how can you stand coughing like this? Where is the doctor? Did he prescribe any medicine for you?"

Jing Yan patted her chest with difficulty, her voice hoarse as she spoke: "The attending physician has it tough too. There are so many patients in the hospital right now, he was transferred to the infectious disease department to provide support. On our floors, which aren't emergency rooms, most of the doctors left are interns."

However, the attending physician still comes to check on you every two or three days. He should be here tomorrow. I'll ask him then, "How are things going on your end? Judging from your background, are you stuck in a hotel?"

Zhizhi nodded and then shook her head: "It's not exactly being trapped in the hotel. Strictly speaking, we're trapped in the filming location. We can move around here, but we're not allowed to go outside through the main gate."

I brought all the masks you told me to wear, and Cheng Heng is here with me, so I'm not alone, Mom. You don't need to worry about me. It's inconvenient for you to do anything in the hospital, and there's a shortage of doctors right now. I should have been more insistent on discharging you from the hospital in the first place; at least it would be peaceful at home.”

Seeing the current situation, Jingyan couldn't help but regret it. She had stayed behind for the sake of medical resources, but now... medical resources were right in front of her, yet they couldn't be taken care of. She understood, but found it hard to accept. The vibration from each cough made the pain in her lower back, which had been much better, increasingly noticeable. All the previous care she had taken was probably in vain.

Not wanting her family to worry, she tried her best to suppress the urge to cough during the half-hour video call with Zhizhi. Then, she excused herself by saying she was sleepy and hung up. As soon as the call ended, Jingyan gripped the bedside armrest and started coughing; sweat quickly froze on her forehead. It hurt so much!

Hearing her cough, the caregiver quickly brought in a kettle of hot water, poured Jingyan a cup of hot water, tested the temperature, and handed it to her: "Sister Zhang, this water temperature is just right, drink some to soothe your throat."

Jing Yan took the drink, drank a couple of sips, and did feel much better. "Thank you. I haven't even left the ward much, how could I have caught a cold? Today is Lunar New Year's Eve, a day for family reunions, and now we're all stuck here."

The caregiver took the water cup and casually replied, "It's probably because the heating in the room is too strong. The doctor is too busy. I went out to look for him but couldn't find him. I don't dare to give you any random medicine. In previous years, we also had to be on duty at the hospital. For us, there's not much difference between the New Year and any other time."

Jing Yan sighed, "It's not easy for anyone. If my back hadn't been hurting from coughing, I wouldn't have bothered the doctor. Sigh~"

After sighing, she remembered calling her second brother's, third sister's, and fourth sister's homes to wish them a Happy New Year. They didn't even know she was hospitalized due to a back injury. After chatting for a while and exchanging New Year's greetings, the caregiver helped her lie down and then turned off the light. She lay down on the folding bed near the door.

Before going to sleep, the attending physician made rounds overnight. He had no choice; it had been three days since he last had time to check on his patient. As soon as he was at the ward door, he heard continuous coughing inside. He frowned: "How long has this patient been coughing? How can her back injury withstand this?"

Pushing open the door and turning on the light, Jingyan, with her eyes closed and her left hand still on her chest, opened her eyes in surprise to see the doctor standing in the doorway, sensing the light.

"Are you done with your work? Could you please take a look at me? I've been coughing since yesterday, and my back is aching from all the coughing. I can't hold it in, and I'm also experiencing some urinary incontinence. I've been staying in the hospital room the whole time; how did I catch a cold?"

Jingyan said she didn't care, but the doctor became worried: "Our hospital has been receiving a lot of patients with the epidemic lately. Auntie, how about we do some tests to see if you have a cold or a viral flu?"

Jingyan didn't understand, but she was obedient. The doctor drew her blood and said he would prescribe medicine after the test was done. Watching his departing figure, Jingyan said to the caregiver, "Don't you think this doctor is a bit anxious? My illness isn't that serious, is it?"

The caregiver opened her sleepy eyes, clearly still not fully awake. Jingyan shook her head. "Turn off the light, go to sleep."

The caregiver got up, turned off the light, and climbed back into her own bed to continue sleeping. Her ability to fall asleep in an instant is truly impressive.

The next morning, the doctor arrived at the ward with several people, and Jingyan was immediately moved to another room, wheeled away on her bed. This sudden action startled Jingyan, and just as she was about to ask a question, she was struck by another bout of coughing.

The doctor said to her very seriously, "Auntie, this isn't a cold, it's an infectious disease. This disease is extremely virulent, and there's no known way to alleviate it, but the mortality rate is extremely high. You'd better be prepared..."

For a moment, Jingyan even forgot to cough, just staring blankly at him. Only after the mobile bed was pushed into an empty ward and came to a stop did she react, her voice a little dry: "You mean, I might not live to be discharged?"

The doctor was in a dilemma. These patients needed to be isolated, but as a medical professional, he couldn't directly give an unpredictable conclusion, as that would go against his professional ethics. However, based on the cases he had been involved in during this period, the chances of a patient of Jingyan's age surviving were very slim.

Seeing the doctor's hesitant expression, Jingyan already knew the answer without him saying a word: "Where am I? How do I need treatment?"

The doctor paused for a moment and said, "Isolate her first. She still needs to take medication, but I can't guarantee whether it will be effective. I can only do my best."

Jing Yan forced a smile and said, "Could you please give me some paper and a pen? I want to write a letter to my family, in case... at least I need to make arrangements for my funeral."

The doctor turned around and took a blank notebook and a pen from the intern, handing them to Jingyan. Jingyan thanked him, and the caregiver brought her water cup and lunchbox. Looking at the fully equipped caregiver, Jingyan was silent for a moment: "You don't need to stay with me. I'll call you if I need anything. Don't let me infect you with this disease."

The caregiver turned to look at the doctor, who nodded. After agreeing, the caregiver went to get a kettle and placed it on the bedside table: "This is some hot water I just boiled. If you need to go to the toilet, just call me. I should be safe with my body wrapped up like this."

Jing Yan nodded, and after watching them leave, her body went limp. She leaned against the headboard and forced a bitter smile.

"My time is almost up. Well, it's not a bad thing. At least I've lived fourteen or fifteen years longer than in my previous life. It's not a wasted life. People who have died once should take life and death lightly. Although it's difficult, I still have to overcome it. I can't be afraid. I have to be strong."

Giving herself a pep talk, Jingyan opened her notebook and began writing a letter to her family. The more she wrote, the weaker her hands became, but she dared not stop, afraid that she would fall asleep and never wake up again. Finally, she finished writing down everything she could think of, then put the notebook and pen on the bedside table, slowly closed her eyes, and fell asleep.

Jingyan spent several days in this isolated room, during which she received calls from He Zhijun, He Jin'an, He Anzhi, He Chaoli, and He Ci'en. Although everyone was worried about her back injury, no one considered the possibility of an outbreak.

Jingyan didn't say anything. It was the New Year, and there was no need to make the whole family worry. They could only watch helplessly. Jingyan clutched her chest; she had been having more and more difficulty breathing these past two days, and she felt really uncomfortable.

Jingyan stayed in the quarantine room until after the Lantern Festival, which meant she got through the New Year. However, the impact of the epidemic became more and more severe, and patients began to get infected and die. Jingyan was not the first, nor would she be the last.

The moment she lost consciousness in the hospital room, her face was peaceful and serene. In her life, she had not accomplished anything, but she also had no regrets. She had not wasted her time or overdrawn her resources. Overall, she had neither made any great achievements nor any major mistakes. That was good.

He Zhijun and his family received the news of Jing Yan's death from COVID-19 infection two days later. She was cremated before they could even see her one last time. In the end, all he received was an urn containing her ashes and a notebook with messages left for them by Jing Yan.

The moment He Zhijun held the urn, he almost knelt down. All his strength seemed to dissipate. Fortunately, Shen Runze helped him up and, together with the people from the hospital, helped him sit on the sofa.

It turns out that when grief reaches its extreme, a person can become neither sad nor happy, neither cry nor make a fuss; the whole person becomes completely still. Shen Runze was very worried about He Zhijun when he saw him like this, and patted him several times to wake him up.

He Zhijun looked at him, tears streaming down his face: "How could she just leave like that? It was just a back injury, staying in the hospital, how could she get infected with the virus... Yes, it was a hospital, everyone who's sick goes there, it's the highest-risk place, how could I not have thought of that..."

Seeing him lost in self-blame, Shen Runze patted him and said, "Do you want to see what message Jingyan left for you?"

He Zhijun then realized what was happening, wiped his face, and carefully opened the diary. Jing Yan's tone was very calm as she wrote that she had panicked after learning about the infection, but quickly calmed down.

Life is a cycle of birth and death; it's a rule that no one can break. It's understandable that family and friends are sad, but life must go on. She told He Zhijun to take care of himself and not to worry about the children.

Her greatest relief now is that she hasn't taken on the responsibility of raising her grandson. Otherwise, with her sudden departure, Zhizhi and the others wouldn't be able to take care of the child for a while. Although Cheng Heng's father was a jerk in the past—and, well, he's not necessarily a good person now—he genuinely loves his grandson, so she can rest assured about that.

When it came to An'an, he had even less to worry about. Boys are supposed to be the pillars of their families; if he couldn't even handle this kind of setback, what could he be expected of in the future?

Her biggest worry was He Zhijun. He's getting on in years; companionship is essential in old age. Once you're old and your companion is gone, finding someone suitable again won't be easy, and living alone would be too lonely.

For now, she can live with Shen Runze as a couple. When she meets the right person, she can find someone else. She won't be jealous.

Seeing this, He Zhijun's eyes welled up with tears, yet he also chuckled. A snot bubble popped out of his nose, which he quickly blew away, but Shen Runze still caught it: "Does Jingyan know how dirty you are?"

He Zhijun ignored him and continued reading. Jing Yan then began to organize her assets, telling him where her bankbook was, how much money was in it, what percentage of shares Yuan Xiaoling held, and where she had hidden the jewelry and antiques left by her grandmother...

Shen Runze couldn't help but complain: "How worried is she that her money will be taken underground and you won't be able to spend it?"

He Zhijun retorted, "Jingyan is worried that we men will suffer from poverty. You, who have no wife to care about, don't understand."

Shen Runze was so angry he laughed: "I was trying to comfort you, and you turned around and belittled me? Fine, you can digest this yourself. I'll go cook you a bowl of noodles. No matter what, you have to eat. Since you know Jingyan cares about you, you have to live well."

Shen Runze went to the kitchen, and He Zhijun continued reading his notes. Before long, his eyes were filled with tears again. After finally composing himself, he looked at the vegetable noodles in front of him and had absolutely no appetite.

"I also need to talk to the children about Jingyan's situation. They're all under lockdown right now, so there's no way for them to come over. They can use this time at home to think about where to buy a burial plot once the lockdown is lifted."

"And by the way, reserve a spot for me too, so my children won't have to go through the trouble again after I pass away." He Zhijun said this frankly, which startled Shen Runze.

He Zhijun could tell from his expression that he had misunderstood, so he quickly explained, "I didn't intend to go with him now, but I will definitely be buried with Jingyan in the future. She guarded me more in this life, so in the next life, it will be my turn to guard her."

Seeing that his emotions were relatively stable, Shen Runze was relieved.

When the night was deep and quiet, He Zhijun hugged his quilt and buried his head in the pillow, crying between sobs: "I have only cried a few times in my life. I have given you all my tears. Please wait for me down there, don't leave too quickly, because I am so pitiful."