Taking the opportunity of traveling through books

Trapped in humiliation and depressed

"Run..." I pushed Hao Yang hard, and the crowd surged forward, sending me stumbling a few steps. Chaos washed over me. I heard Hao Yang's roar, the clatter of fists and feet, and Wei Xue's piercing screams. I bit my lip, swallowing the sting in my eyes, and turned to run desperately.

I don't know how long I ran. My legs felt heavy as lead, and my lungs burned with pain. Finally, I collapsed into an alley, trembling, tears streaming uncontrollably. Everything that happened that day was like a giant net, entangling me tightly and making it impossible to breathe.

For the next few days, I locked myself in my room, the curtains drawn and the room shrouded in darkness. Like a wounded animal, I curled up in a corner, licking my wounds. Hao Yang kept knocking on the door, his voice filled with worry and anxiety, calling my name over and over again. But I didn't dare answer. I was afraid of seeing his disappointed eyes, and even more afraid of facing his concerned inquiries. I couldn't tell him that I felt like I had fallen into a bottomless abyss, surrounded by darkness, with no hope or way out.

The food sat by the door, gradually cooling before being replaced with fresh food. I'd occasionally eat a little, just to survive. I didn't want to worry Hao Yang, but I couldn't force myself to cheer up. I felt like a puppet, drained of all energy and vitality, a hollow shell.

Hao Yang finally stopped knocking. I heard him whispering something outside, his voice choked with sobs, as if he were about to cry. My heart ached like a needle, and I covered my mouth tightly, trying not to make any sound. I knew he was worried about me, but there was nothing I could do.

One day, I heard a knock on the door. It wasn't Hao Yang's rapid rhythm, but a slow, regular one. I hesitated, then opened the door. Standing outside was a strange woman, dressed in a simple business suit and with a gentle smile on her face. "Hello, Wei Yao," she said softly, "I'm the psychiatrist Hao Yang hired."

I was stunned, staring at her, speechless. A psychiatrist? Do I need one?

She seemed to see my confusion and patiently explained, "Hao Yang is very worried about you. He hopes I can help you."

I lowered my head and remained silent. I didn't want to admit that I was sick, and I was afraid to face my own vulnerability.

"I know you feel bad now," the psychologist gently held my hand, "but you must believe that everything will be fine." Her hands were warm and her voice was gentle, which made me feel a little comforted.

She pulled me to sit on the sofa and began to ask me questions. I answered mechanically, feeling like a prisoner being interrogated. I didn't want to talk, nor did I want to recall those painful experiences, but I couldn't refuse her kindness.

After our conversation, she prescribed some medicine and told me to take it regularly. I looked at the pills in my hand, feeling a mixture of emotions. Do I really need to take this medicine? Am I really that sick?

"Wei Yao," she looked at me before leaving, her eyes full of concern, "you must be strong. Hao Yang is always by your side. He will not give up on you."

I nodded and sent her off. The moment the door closed, I couldn't hold on any longer. I slid down to the ground, tears streaming silently. "Hao Yang, what should I do? I feel like I can't hold on any longer..."

Suddenly, there was a commotion outside the door, mixed with Wei Qing's sharp laughter, "...Serves you right! This is what happens when you offend me..."

Wei Qing's voice was like a sharp knife, piercing my eardrums. I struggled to my feet, stumbled to the door, and peered through the peephole. Wei Qing, Wei Xue, and Hao Shuang stood in the hallway, smug smiles on their faces. They held a photo of me in their hands. In it, I looked disheveled, my eyes hollow, like a walking corpse.

"What are you doing?!" Hao Yang's angry voice rang out. He pushed Wei Qing away and stood in front of me.

"Hey, isn't this our hero?" Wei Qing said sarcastically, "Why, are you feeling sorry for your little darling? What a pity, she's just a useless thing now, a mute who can't even speak!"

Hao Yang's fists clenched so tightly that they made a creaking sound, but he finally held back. He turned around and gently patted my shoulder, his voice gentle but firm: "Yaoyao, don't be afraid, I'm here."

I hid behind Hao Yang, trembling. Wei Qing's words were like a venomous snake, bit by bit devouring my will. I felt like a bird stripped of its feathers, naked and exposed to their ridicule and sarcasm.

They finally left, leaving behind a suffocating silence. Hao Yang held me tightly, and I could feel his body trembling and suppressed anger. He kissed my hair over and over again, whispering, "It's okay, it's okay..."

I know he was comforting me and himself.

Hao Yang eventually took me to a psychiatrist. The doctor, a kind, middle-aged woman, patiently questioned me about my past, trying to understand my inner world. But I couldn't say anything. Those painful memories, like a nightmare, clung to me, suffocating me, leaving me speechless.

I sat there numbly, like a statue, letting the doctor do whatever he wanted. I saw Hao Yang anxiously speaking to the doctor, his eyes filled with worry and self-blame. I wanted to give him a comforting smile, but the corners of my mouth were as stiff as lead and I couldn't move them.

"Ms. Wei, can you hear me?" The doctor's voice pulled me back from the chaos.

I looked at her blankly and shook my head. I didn't know how to answer her. I didn't even know who I was, where I was, or what I was going to do.

"Ms. Wei, look at me," the doctor gently held my hand, "look into my eyes."

Her eyes were clear and bright, like a clear spring, which made me feel at ease. I tried to concentrate and see her face clearly, but my vision became more and more blurred, and finally turned into darkness.

"Hao Yang..." I heard my own weak voice, as if coming from far away, "I..."

My hands fell limply, and my consciousness gradually fell into darkness.

"Yaoyao!" Hao Yang's heartbreaking cry came to his ears, "Doctor, what's wrong with her?!"

The pungent smell of disinfectant penetrated my nose, and I struggled to open my heavy eyelids. There was a vast expanse of white above my head, making it difficult for me to distinguish between reality and dreams.

"Yaoyao! You're awake!" I heard Hao Yang's surprised voice. He held my hand, his tone full of worry and fear. "How do you feel? Are you feeling unwell?"

I shook my head weakly, my throat dry as smoke. I tried to get up, but found myself too weak to do anything and could only collapse back onto the bed.

Hao Yang quickly supported me, placed a pillow behind me, and poured a cup of warm water to my lips. "The doctor said you've been under too much stress and stimulated recently, which is why you fainted suddenly. Yaoyao, don't be afraid, I will always be by your side."

His voice was so gentle that it seemed to be dripping with water, but I could not feel any warmth. My heart seemed to be hollowed out, leaving only endless emptiness and despair.

I saw the bloodshot in Hao Yang's eyes, the stubble on his chin, and the tight grip he held on my hand. I knew he hadn't gotten a good rest these days. My heart felt like it was being pricked by needles, aching and unbearable.

"I'm sorry..." I opened my mouth and uttered three words with difficulty.

I'm sorry for making you worry. I'm sorry for making you suffer because of me. I'm sorry for becoming a useless person who only drags you down...

"Silly boy, what nonsense are you talking about?" Hao Yang rubbed my hair, his eyes slightly red. "You are my wife. If I don't protect you, who will?"

His words were like a warm current, slowly flowing through my cold heart. I tried to force a smile, wanting to tell him that I was fine, but the corners of my mouth were as stiff as lead and I couldn't pull it out.

"You have a good rest. I'll go ask the doctor about your condition." Hao Yang tucked the quilt for me and stood up to leave.

"Hao Yang..." I grabbed the corner of his clothes, my voice so hoarse that it was almost inaudible, "I... I want to go home..."

The cold white here makes me feel suffocated and I don’t want to stay here for a moment longer.

The light in Hao Yang's eyes dimmed. He was silent for a moment, and finally nodded, "Okay, let's go home."

I know he compromised for my sake. He must have a lot of things to deal with. Wei Qing and the others' revenge will not stop here. I can't let him be distracted by me anymore.

After Hao Yang left, I lay alone in the hospital bed, looking out the window at the bright sunshine, but I felt no warmth. My mind kept replaying the scenes of Wei Qing and the others humiliating me. Those vicious words were like venomous snakes, gnawing at my will bit by bit.

I hate it! I hate their cruelty, and even more so, I hate my own powerlessness!

If I hadn't transmigrated into a book, I would still be the confident and proud eldest daughter of the Wei family, with loving family and friends, living a carefree life...

No, now is not the time to regret! I told myself that I can't let hatred cloud my mind. I have to cheer up and make those who hurt me pay the price!

"Hao Yang..." I muttered to myself, clenching my fists tightly.