The Great Doctor Girl

Huang Junze seems to have been cast under a spell of silence recently. The sweet interaction between us that we had finally established seemed to be strangled by an invisible hand, and fell into a suffocating silence.

As the days passed, our hands, once tightly clasped, now seemed frozen, never to touch again. The passion that once burned so intensely, so close it seemed to melt us, now seemed to be separated by a veil as thin as a cicada's wing, yet impenetrable. His gaze, once like the warm sunshine of spring, now resembled the frost of an autumn night, filled with a chilling sense of distance and indifference.

"Hmph, what's wrong with him? How could I not know?" I snorted in my heart.

I never had high hopes for love, and marriage was initially just a way for me to survive. But who could have imagined that as I spent time with Huang Junze, my feelings would gradually blossom.

"I thought it was just a deal, but I didn't expect it to be so serious." I smiled bitterly to myself.

I'm not stupid, I even understand his inner thoughts better than he does. Su Jingyan's return was like a raging tsunami, slamming into us and disrupting the love and peace we had worked so hard to achieve.

It was already twelve o'clock when he came back today. I waited for him in the living room as usual.

"I took his clothes and smelled a faint scent of perfume. Who else could it be but her? They must have met again!" I gritted my teeth and speculated angrily in my heart.

I could feel that his feelings for me had not completely disappeared, but his heart was filled with confusion and entanglement, which was like a dense net that trapped us tightly and put us in this suffocating deadlock.

Since the current situation is as solid as a wall of steel and cannot be shaken, it seems that all I can do is to steady myself first.

"I can't lose my composure and let his indecision defeat me!" I encouraged myself.

Perhaps, in this seemingly silent but thrilling emotional tug-of-war, the only thing I can do is not to bother him, not to ask questions, and let him fight the devil in his heart on his own.

It's April 4nd, and there are still 22 days left before the divorce deadline, but now, everything is still a mess.

"Can this marriage still be concluded? Initially it was just for survival, but now, the love has grown deep, how can I give it up so easily?" This question flashed through my mind countless times, like a sharp knife, piercing my heart again and again.

Should I voluntarily withdraw?

But he is my medicine. I no longer care whether my life is humble or whether I have love or not. These are luxuries to me.

April 4, sunny

Huang Junze came back at 0 o'clock and we didn't communicate.

He came back so late today, and there was still that familiar yet strange smell on his body. He must be with her again!

My heart sank to the bottom again.

Putting down the pen, I suppressed the torment in my heart, without questioning or expressing any emotion.

Just floating alone in this vortex of pain.

In this torment, my body seemed to be cursed and quickly returned to its previous state. Yang energy flowed away like a bursting dam, and I felt as if I was being dragged into the dark abyss by an invisible giant hand.

I know that it is because I have lost the emotional energy he gave me that I have once again fallen into the desperate situation of losing all my yang energy.

"Should I just give up like this? No, I won't accept that!" I cried out in despair in my heart.

Once, thanks to his sincere and strong love, and the warm strength he passed on to me, I felt like a dead tree coming back to life.

At this moment, I asked myself again in my heart: "Do I love him or not?"

But now, our relationship has stagnated and I can no longer get the nourishment of life from him.

In desperation, I could only rely on the mysterious "Eight Trigrams Life-Promoting Formation" to barely maintain this weak body.

Every morning, while the first rays of sunlight struggled to penetrate the clouds, I'd already be in my lounge, reluctantly setting up the formation. The mysterious power of the Bagua Formation, like a trickle, slowly flowed into my body. While the effect wasn't as surging as the one he'd once given me, it at least kept my shaky body alive, allowing me to continue treating patients.

"Even if there is only a little hope, I will persevere!" I swore silently in my heart.

Whenever my Yang energy is replenished a little, I can feel that brief but precious clarity and vitality.

But this wonderful feeling is like a flash in the pan, fleeting.

I have never revealed my physical condition to anyone, not even to Huang Junze.

I understand that even if he knew, he probably wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Besides, I don't want him to suffer more troubles and guilt because of me.

"Let him deal with his own problems first." I thought helplessly and sadly.

I hope he can come out of this emotional fog and not be suffocated by my predicament.

During the days of waiting, I gradually got used to the coldness of the early morning and the loneliness of the evening.

In the clinic, patients come and go like the tide, and I greet every soul longing for health with calmness and determination.

Their pain, anxiety, and hope for the future made me feel that my existence was not meaningless. I tried to fill the huge void in my heart by helping others, and I was too busy to chew on the bitter emotions.

Today is Li Kangxing’s sixth consultation, and the hexagram he took is Feng Tian Xiao Chu.

This hexagram: Wind and Heaven Xiaochu

—Brother Uki

—Descendants Si Fire

- -Wife and wealth in the earth

—Wife, wealth, Chen earth

—Brother Yin Mu

— Parents and children

Change: Water Wind Well

- - Parent and Child Water

One wife's wealth and soil (use)

- -Official Ghost Shen Jin

—Official Ghost You Metal

— Parents Hai Water (body)

- -Wife Cai Chou Tu

"储" means to stay, small, not big, which means the condition has eased and the symptoms have been alleviated.

Now the convulsions have stopped and the legs are no longer weak.

"Well" is the place where water gathers, and the Yang energy seems to be insufficient.

The prescription was slightly adjusted by adding Eucommia ulmoides to nourish the kidneys and walnuts to nourish the brain.

After writing the prescription, he asked Xia Ruoxi to get the medicine.

Xia Ruoxi has a delicate and beautiful face with a natural affinity. Her smile is sincere and gives people a warm and reliable feeling.

Like me, she has long black hair, which she simply ties into a ponytail or lets hang naturally, looking neat and tidy.

A studious girl, Ruoxi is deeply interested in Traditional Chinese Medicine and traditional Chinese medicine, and one could even say she's a gifted young student. She always strives to follow in my footsteps and never misses any opportunity to learn.

After Li Kangxing left, Xia Ruoxi asked, "Luo Shu, you haven't been feeling well these past few days. Your complexion isn't as good as before."

I smiled calmly: "It's okay, it might be pre-marital stress."

Xia Ruoxi frowned and said suspiciously, "Is it really just because of this? I don't think it's the case."

I shook my head gently: "Don't guess blindly, it's really nothing serious."

Xia Ruoxi curled her lips: "Alright, anyway, you should pay more attention to yourself and don't get too tired."

I smiled and nodded: "Thank you for your concern, I understand."

However, whenever it is late at night and everything is silent, the strong defense line that I have built with great difficulty always collapses quietly in the silence.

"Does he still love me? Do we still have a future? At first I just wanted to survive, but now I can't help myself. What should I do?" These questions float in my mind like ghosts, and I can't get rid of them.

These questions seemed like a thick fog, tightly enveloping my heart, making it impossible for me to break free. I tried to stop thinking about them, telling myself that time would reveal the answers.

If Huang Junze's heart has really left me, I must learn to accept it and let it go.

Sometimes, letting go isn't a failure; it can be another form of courageous fulfillment. It allows him to resolve his inner struggles and find his true belonging. And I, too, must take responsibility for my own life, even if it means facing long, dark nights and endless loneliness alone.

Every day in the medical clinic is like a long marathon. It feels like time flies and years are hard to endure.

During the day, the noise of the patients filled every corner.

At night, the cool moonlight shines into the house, and I am in the Bagua formation, silently absorbing the weak yang energy to maintain the functioning of my body.

Occasionally, I would look at the lonely moon outside the window, and endless loneliness would surge in my heart.

I did not take the initiative to contact Huang Junze, nor did I wait eagerly for his news.

I don’t know how important I am to him, and whether he will bring me back.

If he chooses to move on, I can only accept it calmly and stop bothering him.

My body is still weak, but the determination in my heart is becoming more and more solid like a rock.

I no longer eagerly pursue answers to the future, but choose to wait quietly, waiting for the wheel of fate to stop turning, waiting for the haze in Huang Junze's heart to dissipate.

Every morning, warm sunlight would shine through the window and onto the mountains of medical books and a wide variety of medicinal herbs.

I lowered my head to study the ancient medical classics, and occasionally looked up at the slowly rising sun outside the window.

The sunlight gently caresses my face, bringing the long-lost, faint warmth.

I know that this lonely journey is not over yet, but my heart is ready to face everything in the future.

No matter what Huang Junze's final choice is, I will face it bravely and accept it calmly.

The days passed quietly in silence and waiting, and I, in this torrent of fate, gradually learned to use courage and strength to write my own story alone.

On a quiet night, I lay alone in bed, my thoughts swirling like a tide. I recalled every moment I had with Huang Junze, and those sweet moments now became sharp blades piercing my heart. I imagined him and Su Jingyan together, and the pain in my heart intensified. Yet, I knew I couldn't be defeated like this. I had to preserve my last bit of dignity.