The Great Doctor Girl

My tears burst out again like a collapsed dam: "Mom, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"Silly child." Zhiyue's mother held my hand, her voice as soft as a feather. "You're not wrong, and there's no need to say sorry. Luoshu, as long as we can depend on each other in this life, that's the best outcome."

Zhiyue’s mother’s gentleness gave me a little comfort, but the pain in my heart still made me breathless.

She seemed to see through my emotions and patted my hand gently: "Luo Shu, I know you hate Su Junsheng very much, but hating someone should not be the only reason for us to live. This is also the original reason why I hid it from you."

"Then what should I do, Mom?" My voice was weak, and it kept lingering in my throat. I was like a child lost in thick fog, full of panic and confusion.

"If I just swallow this anger and let go of my hatred, I'll feel like a deserter, and I'll be gnawed by guilt and resentment for the rest of my life. I really don't know how I'm going to face this torment in my heart, or how I'm going to reconcile with myself."

She was silent for a moment before she spoke: "Luo Shu, we are not gods, nor are we saints. We don't need to force ourselves to forgive anything, nor do we need to force ourselves to forgive anyone. But you must remember that no matter how much you hate him, you must ultimately live for yourself. Hating someone for too long will make us forget to love ourselves."

Zhiyue's mother's eyes were gentle but firm: "You have gone through so much hardship, and being able to come this far is already the greatest victory. Don't walk the road ahead for him, walk for yourself. You don't owe anyone, and you don't have to bow down to anyone."

I looked at her, and something seemed to touch my heart.

Yes, I don’t need to live for hatred, nor do I need to live for others.

I should live a brand new future for myself. I am already living well alone.

"Thank you, Mom." I whispered, "You have always been so strong. I will learn to be a strong person like you."

Zhiyue's mother smiled slightly, with a gentle light in her eyes: "Luoshu, being strong doesn't mean not crying, but being able to hold your head high and move on after crying. You can cry, you can feel pain, but don't let it overwhelm you."

"Okay, I understand." I nodded, wiped the tears from my face, and there was a hint of determination in my eyes.

Just then, the door was pushed open and Huang Junze walked in with a bowl of hot soup.

He glanced at me, his eyes full of tenderness and concern: "Luo Shu, I made some soup, drink it to warm you up."

Zhiyue's mother stood up and patted my shoulder: "Junze, I feel relieved with you here. Luoshu, you should have a good rest. If there is anything, feel free to call me."

She turned around reluctantly, but eventually left slowly, leaving only Huang Junze and I, with some of her complicated and heartbreaking emotions still lingering.

The aroma of the soup wafted in the air, dispelling the night's gloom.

"Luo Shu," Huang Junze walked over to me and handed me the soup. "Don't be afraid. No matter what happens, it will eventually pass."

I took the soup and whispered, "Junze, thank you."

He smiled slightly and said softly: "Silly girl, you are my wife. If I don't accompany you, who will accompany you?"

I took a sip, and a warm current slowly flowed through my heart, but the dark cloud of pain in my heart still lingered stubbornly.

Huang Junze also has to go to work. The company is very busy at the end of the year.

He walked up to me and gently took me in his arms. "Luo Shu, don't go to the clinic for the time being. Rest well at home. Ask Aunt Chen to make you something to eat. I'll be back as soon as I'm done with my work."

"Okay, go and do your work!"

I watched his figure disappear outside the door, and the room returned to silence. It was so quiet that I could hear the slight sound of the spoon hitting the edge of the bowl, and each sound seemed to be questioning my messy heart.

I put down the soup bowl, stood up and walked to the window, looking at the blue but bleak sky outside the window, but my thoughts drifted to the distant Mount Paektu.

There, there is my master, whom I respect like a god. In the past, he taught me skills and healed my heart in a humble courtyard on the top of the mountain. He was the only "shore" I could grasp when I was stuck in the mud.

Now, the bad news that comes one after another is like an airtight net that traps me in it. Although the comfort from Huang Junze and my mother is warm, it still cannot fill the black hole of confusion in my heart.

"Baekdu Mountain... Master..." I muttered to myself, clutching the corner of my clothes, my fingertips turning white, as if I was holding on to the last ray of hope.

I don’t know how Master is doing now.

All the mysteries, only in my master, is there the "key" to unlock my heart and face this unbearable life experience and cruel reality.

It’s time for me to go back and see my master.

Thinking of this, I turned around and began to pack my bags silently.

Without telling anyone, I packed my bags, left home quietly, and headed towards Mount Paektu.

The cold winter wind is like a knife, hurting my face.

I shrank my neck and pulled my scarf up, but it still couldn't block the cold that seeped through my clothes.

Mount Paektu appears faintly in the distance, shrouded in clouds and mist. It is still the towering mountain in my memory, like a silent guardian, gazing at my arrival.

On the road at the foot of the mountain, I occasionally met a few pedestrians. They were wrapped in thick cotton clothes and hurried past. No one looked at me twice.

Only the sound of the wind echoed in my ears, as if reminding me that what I was about to face was not the cold, but the pain and doubts buried deep in my heart for many years.

It was almost dusk when we set foot on the mountain road of Mount Paektu.

The snow on both sides of the mountain road was trampled soft, but still as white as before.

Everything here is still familiar to me: the winding mountain paths, the layers of pine forests, and the small grasses and trees standing tall in the wind and snow.

As I climbed up step by step, the only sounds I could hear were the wind and the crunching of the snow under my feet.

The mountain road is steep and the wind is cold. Every step seems to challenge my endurance.

But I didn't stop, because this mountain is not only my former home, but also the place where all my hopes and wishes come true.

On the way, I stopped next to a protruding rock.

This was my favorite place to rest when I was a kid.

In the crevice beside the rock, a cluster of green Ganoderma lucidum breaks through the snow, and its bright red umbrella-cap sparkles with crystal luster in the winter sun.

I squatted down and touched it lightly with my fingertips, and the scene of my master taking me to pick Ganoderma lucidum emerged in my mind.

“The Ganoderma lucidum in this mountain grows best in winter. It absorbs the essence of heaven and earth and is the most precious.” My master’s voice seems to still be in my ears, but now, I can only rely on my memory to recall his teachings.

Continuing to walk upwards, several tall cedars come into view. Their bark is covered with fine moss, but they still exude vitality.

In a patch of deep snow, I was surprised to see a ginseng plant. Its stem was thick and bronze in color, with deep lines that looked like symbols of time. Its leaves were thick and wide, dark green with an ancient charm, as if they had been deposited for thousands of years. It seemed to be gently waving to me in the rustling cold wind, making me unable to take my eyes off it.

Squat down, push away the snow, and reveal its complete appearance.

The roots of this ginseng are coiled, thick and powerful, like an elder, silently guarding the forest.

"Every inch of Mount Paektu is filled with spiritual energy," Master once said.

And now, I finally understand that this spiritual energy comes not only from these rare herbs, but also from the memories and emotions that this mountain has given me.

When I finally stood on the top of the mountain, night had already fallen. Although the way up the mountain was difficult, it was familiar to me. Fortunately, the moonlight was very bright, and with my flashlight, I could move forward smoothly.

The sky is filled with stars, and the cold moonlight coats the entire forest with a layer of silver.

I looked at the shabby courtyard in front of me, and my heart ached.

During these eighteen years, I learned resilience and survival here, and also planted countless unanswered questions here.

When I opened the gate, the familiar smell of burning wood hit me.

The ginkgo tree in the yard is still there. Although its branches are bare, it is still tall and straight.

On the snow, I left my lonely footprints.

I stood under the tree, reached out to touch its rough bark, and a complex emotion surged in my heart.

This is my home and the starting point of my life.

But now, can Master still give me an answer?

I didn't go into the house, but just stood in the yard, looking up at the starry sky.

In the cold wind, I closed my eyes and seemed to hear the breathing of the mountains and forests.

This mountain, this land, has witnessed my growth and also my pain.

And I will eventually start from here to find my own answer.

The wind on Mount Paektu is still cold, but it no longer makes me feel cold.

Because this mountain will always be my home and the harbor of my soul.

That night, I stood silently on the top of Mount Paektu for a long time, letting the cold wind blow away the distracting thoughts in my mind.

I know that by returning here, I have found a long-lost peace.

Looking up, I saw a figure standing in front of the door of the simple wooden house.

In the dim light, he was wearing an old gray robe, leaning on a wooden stick in his hand, with his back slightly hunched, as if his spine had been bent by the years.

What made my heart tighten the most was the silver hair, which shone with a cold white light in the moonlight.

My chest felt like it was hit by a heavy hammer. Master is only sixty years old. How could he have aged so much overnight?

“Master…” My voice trembled, and my throat seemed to be blocked by something.

He turned around, a familiar smile on his old face: "Luo Shu, you're here."

His eyes were still gentle, as if I had only been away for a short while, not nearly two years.

But when his body swayed slightly and the wooden stick in his hand supported his staggering steps, my heart suddenly tightened.

"Master!" I quickly stepped forward and held his arm.

Only then did I realize that he was much thinner than I remembered, and as light as a dead leaf.

"It's okay, it's okay." He waved his hands and forced a smile. "I'm old now, so I just walk a little slower."

But I clearly saw that there was something strange about his steps, his right leg seemed to be dragging, and every step he took was restrained.

I squatted down to check his leg, but he gently blocked me with his wooden stick: "Luo Shu, don't worry, it's just a minor injury, it's nothing serious."