The Great Doctor Girl

I walked into the ward and saw Su Jingyan lying there quietly, like a candle about to go out in the wind.

I approached the bed. Her eyes were half-open, her breath was weak, and the only remaining trace of life seemed to be gasping in the wind.

My third eye was still open, and I saw that her life was coming to an end, and she only had three or five days left.

I stood there and stared at her for a long time. The arrogance she used to radiate had long since dissipated like smoke, leaving only the intermittent, weak breathing sounds from her lips, which pulled at the air and made people feel even more sad.

Su Junsheng sat on a chair nearby, his expression as calm as if he was watching a tragedy that had nothing to do with him.

I didn't say anything, not even wanting to look at him.

The hatred in my heart surged like a tide, pressing on me so hard that my internal organs ached.

My mother stood aside with an expressionless face. All the secrets were exposed here. I knew she was sad, but I didn't want to say anything.

Without saying anything, I turned and left the ward.

Every step I took on the corridor floor felt like walking on the tip of a knife, cold and biting.

Huang Junze stood at the end of the corridor, looking at me intently.

He didn't ask, but just reached out and held mine, our fingers intertwined, conveying a hint of silent power.

The car on the way home is like a lonely boat, breaking through the waves in the inky night. Neon lights flicker outside the window, and the light and shadows are mottled, just like fragments of the years coming one after another. In a trance, time seems to flow backwards.

The days of the past, whether bitter or sweet, flashed before my eyes like a kaleidoscope. I was immersed in them, my mind wandering.

Until the car stopped steadily in the yard, a sudden brake pulled me out of the vortex of illusory memories.

Huang Junze carefully carried me into the room and gently placed me on the bed. The moment the door closed, the emotions that had been pent up for a long time burst out, and the defense line of reason collapsed like a sand castle in the tide, and it could no longer hold up.

Tears slid down silently, my throat felt like it was blocked, and all my emotions were stuck in my chest, making it hard for me to breathe.

I sat dejectedly on the bed, covering my face with my hands. Tears overflowed from between my fingers and dripped onto my knees, blurring my vision.

"Junze..." My voice was so low that it was almost inaudible. "I thought eighteen years of suffering was enough, but today I realized that a person's heart can be broken even more completely..."

He squatted in front of me, gently placed his hands on my knees, his eyes filled with deep heartache: "Luo Shu, you don't have to hold it in. Cry it out. No matter how much hatred or pain you feel, I will be here with you."

"But why..." I looked up suddenly, looking at him with tearful eyes, "Why him? Why him?"

He didn't rush to answer. Instead, he wiped the tears from my face with a handkerchief. His voice was low but gentle: "Some questions have no answers. The more you pursue them, the more painful it will be. Instead of asking why, think about how you can make this all end."

"End..." I murmured the word again, my voice weak, "But, Junze, he is my father! He is the 'relative' who pushed me into the abyss! I want to kill him, I would rather not have a father..."

"It's hard to hate someone, but it's even harder to forgive. You don't need to force yourself to forgive him, nor do you need to let yourself forgive. Luo Shu, every bit of your pain is not your fault."

Huang Junze looked me straight in the eyes, his tone firm, "He ruined your childhood, but he can't ruin the rest of your life. He owes you something, you can make him pay the price, but don't let his sins become your shackles."

His words were like a bolt of lightning, splitting the haze in my heart.

But those emotions that have been suppressed for a long time still make me collapse.

I threw myself into his arms, tears pouring out like an uncontrollable torrent...

I don’t know how long it took, all I could do was sob.

"Junze, I'm really tired... I'm afraid I can't hold on..." My voice was trembling, and I buried my head in his shoulder and cried.

He held me tightly, as if holding a piece of fragile crystal.

His voice was deep and powerful, like a hot spring surging in the mountains: "Luo Shu, you have endured for eighteen years. No one can survive such hardship without being broken. But you are still here, which means you are stronger than you think."

"Strong..." I smiled bitterly, tears soaking his clothes, "Look, how fragile I am now..."

"Strength doesn't mean never falling, but rather choosing to stand up again and again after being knocked down. Luo Shu, you've already been through hell, so why are you afraid of the abyss before you?"

I didn't answer, but just cried even harder.

Listening to Huang Junze's words, the past pains flashed through my mind like a kaleidoscope. The hatred seemed to be entangled by iron chains, loosening a little, but deep down I was unwilling to let it go, and the contradiction tore me apart.

Huang Junze patted my back gently, his voice filled with suppressed pain: "Luo Shu, if possible, I would rather bear all this for you."

I raised my head and looked at him, my eyes full of affection and reluctance.

"Jun Ze..." I looked up, gazing into his eyes, which reflected my embarrassment and vulnerability. My voice couldn't help but tremble. "Why on earth could the wheel of fate turn so drastically, allowing only you to enter this scarred world of mine? And why are you willing to accompany me through this thorny landscape, bearing all the sorrow and hardship?"

He smiled softly, his tone filled with unshakable determination: "Because I love you, Luo Shu. No matter what you've been through, no matter whose daughter you are, I will only recognize you as my wife. No matter how dark your past is, I will do my best to brighten your future."

At this moment, his love was like a ray of light, penetrating all the haze in my heart.

I held him tight, like a drowning man grasping at a straw.

It was late at night and I lay in bed, but I couldn't fall asleep.

Those scenes emerged in my mind one by one, like a torn wound, the pain was so severe that I could hardly breathe.

I turned sideways, tears streaming down my face uncontrollably. I controlled my sobs, trying not to disturb Huang Junze.

He held my hand, his fingertips warm and strong: "Close your eyes and don't think too much. I'm here, you don't have to be afraid."

I didn't dare say anything, for fear that if I did, my tears would burst out like a flood.

He sighed softly and pulled me into his arms. "Luo Shu, your world has already collapsed once, but it will be rebuilt. And I will be with you, little by little, to repair it and make it stronger than before."

My body was shaking, and his words made it even harder for me to control myself.

He patted my back gently with his hand and said firmly: "Luo Shu, I am not here to live a carefree life with you, but to endure the pain with you. Life is not just about romance, but also about life and death. I love you not because you are perfect, but because you are you."

His voice was so gentle that it seemed like a redemption, and it finally made me close my eyes as dawn was about to break.

When the first ray of sunlight came into the room, I woke up from the nightmare.

Looking at his tired but still gentle eyes, I took a deep breath: "Junze, you don't have to worry about me. Thank you, really."

He nodded gently, a smile flashing in his eyes: "Luo Shu, let's go on together. No matter if there are thorns or abysses ahead, you must always remember that I am always here."

The sunlight poured in through the window, my eyes were dry and painful, and the crying at night had drained my strength.

Huang Junze held my hand the whole time and never let go.

But even though his warmth calmed me down a little, the pain deep in my heart still roared like a giant beast in my chest.

Just then, the door was gently pushed open.

"Luo Shu." Zhiyue's mother's voice came, gentle but with a hint of sob.

She stood at the door and looked at me with complicated eyes.

With that motherly sensitivity, she saw through my emotions at a glance.

I looked up at her, not knowing what to say.

"Junze, let me talk to Luoshu alone." Zhiyue's mother said softly.

Huang Junze hesitated for a moment, but nodded, patted my shoulder and walked out.

The moment the door closed, the room was so quiet that only our breathing could be heard.

Zhiyue's mother walked over to the bed and sat down, gently holding my hand: "Luoshu, I know you feel bad. If you want to blame your mother, then blame her. Don't swallow all this pain in your stomach."

Her hands were warm, but I felt a chill to the bone.

I lowered my head and said in a hoarse voice, "Mom, did I do something wrong in my previous life? Shouldn't I hate him? Why did God treat me like this?..."

Zhiyue's mother sighed, her eyes filled with heartache: "Luoshu, you did nothing wrong. You are a human being, not a saint. After going through all these hardships, you can still live with love. You are stronger than anyone else."

"But, Mom..." My voice choked, tears welling up again, "He's my father! But he hurt you, hurt all of us. I hate him, I really hate him! But every time I want to hurt him myself, my heart feels like it's being torn apart. I..."

Zhiyue's mother interrupted me, pulling me into her arms and gently stroking my hair. This kind of intimacy is easily available to others, but I have been waiting for it for 19 years. "Luoshu, don't cry. You can hate him, be sad, be confused, or even feel so miserable that you want to give up. But I hope you know that none of this is your fault, nor is it your choice."

Her voice was like the warm spring sun caressing the surface of a lake, so gentle that it created layers of warm ripples and reached deep into people's hearts.

My heart was filled with bitterness: "Mom, don't you blame me? Am I too cowardly? Am I too selfish?"

Zhiyue's mother gently shook her head, her eyes filled with reluctance and deep love. She raised her hand and gently smoothed the messy hair on my forehead, then hugged me tighter, as if to make up for the embrace I had missed all these years: "Luoshu, how could I blame you? I feel so sorry for you that I can't wait. You are braver than anyone else to be able to stand here alive and say these words to me. We are not born to endure these hardships, but since fate has given them to us, we must learn to accept them and then slowly let them go."

Her words were like a thin thread that held my wandering heart.

I looked up at her tired but loving face and couldn't help asking, "Mom, what about you? You never say how much pain you're in, but you clearly..."

Zhiyue's mother's eyes were slightly red, but she still smiled: "Luoshu, I have suffered, but compared to you, I am much better. When I was in pain, all I thought about was that you survived. As long as you are well, all the suffering I have endured is worth it."