I opened the Ming Dynasty

Niu Ren's second son-in-law, Li Tianhua, was the current Minister of Personnel. He had shifty eyebrows, sharp mouth and monkey cheeks, and was not good-looking!

But he is hypocritical, thick-skinned and black-hearted, and is best at plotting, talking big and fanning the flames!

Just imagine, without any ability, how can you be the Minister of Personnel? Without any use, how can you marry the daughter of the local tycoon Niu Ren?

Li Tianhua, in a purple robe and black veil, came up to me and said, "Fourth brother-in-law! You are so cruel! You have bullied your third brother-in-law Wang Tianheng into a bastard!"

I didn't even bother to look at him, and blurted out: "Does my second brother-in-law want to embarrass himself too?"

Li Tianhua's triangular eyes rolled up and his face turned pale after hearing what I said. His kidney-like face instantly turned the color of liver!

"Just now Wang Tianheng challenged you to a duel of swords, but he didn't have a master and didn't learn the skills well enough! You shaved his head bald! I also want to challenge you!"

When I heard what Li Tianhua said, I couldn't believe my ears! Just you? Li Tianhua?

"How do we compare?"

I raised the bone-chopping knife in my hand and snapped my fingers at Li Tianhua!

When Li Tianhua saw me waving my knife, he turned and ran away in shock! He staggered and almost fell!

The guests in the room burst into laughter again!

Seeing this, Li Tianhua's face turned pale like a shoe!

He stopped and slowly turned around, staring at me gloomily for a long while.

Suddenly, he opened the folding fan in his hand with a "puff" sound and said: "I am a scholar! I am highly talented and well-educated! I will not fight with you! How about we do it the way scholars should do it?"

I smiled, deliberately glanced at him nonchalantly and said, "Music, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry, or songs, which one do you want to compete in?"

When Li Tianhua heard that I said it so lightly, his face froze again!

Maybe he always thought I was just a cook who could only peel onions and break garlic! He never expected that I could even play the game of music, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry and songs! He must be a little surprised, right?

But then I thought: I am the current Minister of Personnel, a Grand Secretary, and a former runner-up in the imperial examination. If we talk about fighting, I am powerless, but when it comes to reciting poems and composing couplets, I don't believe that a cook who can only make chicken feet can beat me?

Thinking of this, Li Tianhua felt proud!

He strode with his head held high, put his hands behind his back, and circled around me, saying, "Let's make a couplet first! I'll give you the first line of a couplet based on tonight's banquet, and see if you can come up with one that matches yours."

I snapped my fingers again and looked at Li Tianhua slyly, as if he was looking at a fat pig waiting to be slaughtered, and said, "Brother-in-law, just go ahead! The more tricky and weird it is, the more exciting it will be!"

Li Tianhua felt uncomfortable when I looked at him, and seeing how arrogant I was, he felt very unhappy, but also a little unsure.

He walked around twice with his chest and belly protruding, and then said, "I am a learned and knowledgeable minister of the Ministry of History, and you are just a thief squatting on the stove to steal food! It is really embarrassing to recite poems with you, so let's do this..."

"Stop!" Li Tianhua's arrogance and dirty deeds completely infuriated me!

Before he could finish, I slapped him hard!

With a crisp "pop" sound, Li Tianhua's mouth instantly swelled up like a bun!

I poked his triangular eyes and flat nose and said, "Second brother-in-law, don't do useless things to me! Since you are so well-read, have you ever read the Book of Changes?"

Li Tianhua felt that his front teeth were knocked into his stomach by my slap. His swollen mouth made it almost impossible to see his eyes and nose.

But he didn't dare to get angry after all. Just now, Wang Tianheng, who was a martial arts master, was treated like a coward by me, let alone him?

"The Book of Changes? Of course I have read it!"

When Li Tianhua replied, he could no longer hold back his words!

"Then do you know how many characters there are in the Book of Changes?"

"5106 words in total!"

"Can you recite it backwards?"

When I asked this question, Li Tianhua was obviously dumbfounded!

"The Book of Changes" was a compulsory course for scholars in ancient times. If he had passed the imperial examination, he might have been able to recite it. But now he has been a dissolute and extravagant Minister of History for six years. How could he remember that thing?

I laughed secretly in my heart.

"Second brother-in-law! This is your stepping stone to becoming the Minister of History! If you don't remember this, you can't call yourself a learned man!"

Although Li Tianhua's mouth was as swollen as a chicken's butt, he did not show weakness because he did not believe that a kitchen servant who only knew how to light fire and cook could be more patient than him!

"I can't recite it, how can you?" Li Tianhua said with disdain.

"Of course! Go find me a copy of the Book of Changes and I'll recite it to you word for word, even without making any mistakes in the punctuation marks," I said.

As soon as I finished speaking, Wang Tianheng, who was stretching his head to watch the fun, immediately stood up, quickly found a copy of "The Book of Changes" from the study in Niu's house, and handed it to Li Tianhua with a wicked smile.

When Li Tianhua took the book, his hands were shaking a little, and he glared at Wang Tianheng with resentment!

Perhaps he suddenly had a bad premonition that he, a dignified Minister of Personnel, was going to be disgraced today!

I saw Li Tianhua opened the book and said in a loud voice: "Second brother-in-law, I like your three beautiful beards very much. I want to use them to make two brushes to draw talismans. The Zhouyi is divided into two parts, the Classic and the Commentary, each with more than 2,000 words. I will recite the Classic first. If I can recite it word for word, I will pluck the left side of your beard, one word for each strand of beard!"

At this point, I paused deliberately, looking at Li Tianhua's dumbfounded expression, I smiled slyly and continued, "Then recite the Biography. If you can recite it word for word, I will pluck out the beard on the right side of your head, one beard for each word. If the beards on both sides are not enough, I will pluck out the ones on your chin to make up for it!"

After saying that, I didn't care whether Li Tianhua agreed or not, and I recited it in a rhythmic and emotional voice.

Li Tianhua did not dare to be negligent. His two triangular eyes, which had been swollen into a slit, instantly glared like duck eggs with gnashing teeth, concentrating on examining every word and every punctuation mark I recited!

The guests were all amused by Niu Fu's impromptu performance tonight! It was so much fun, and I have never attended such an exciting banquet! Niu Fu is really awesome and never disappoints!

After only a cup of tea, I suddenly heard a loud shout from me: "Second brother-in-law! I have finished reciting the sutra, have you made any mistakes?"

"No! That's right!"

Li Tianhua was startled by my shout and blurted out involuntarily.

"That's good! Give me the left side of your beard first!"

Before I could finish my words, I had already jumped up like lightning, stretched out my left arm, and clamped Li Tianhua's head tightly.

His right hand had already tightly grasped the long black beard at the left corner of Li Tianhua's mouth, tightening and pulling again!

Instantly, a series of screams like a pig being slaughtered filled the whole room!

All the guests in the room were shocked. Some kicked over the table, some sat on the stools, some farted out of fright, and some wet their pants!

When I looked again, the long beard on the left corner of Li Tianhua's mouth was gone, and it was all on my right hand which was raised triumphantly.

Who can bear to have their beard pulled out by the roots?

Li Tianhua threw away the "Book of Changes", pressed his hands tightly on the corners of his mouth which was covered with blood, jumped and jumped in pain, and rolled on the ground!

Niu Shuna, the second sister of the Niu family, was not happy with this! No matter what, Li Tianhua was her pride, and no one could stand being bullied like this!

Niu Shuna threw herself into the arms of her father Niu Ren, and rolled on the ground, asking her father to teach her a lesson!

Seeing this, Wang Tianheng also came up and whispered in Niu Ren's ear: "Master Taishan, my second brother-in-law is an official appointed by the court, a third-rank official of the Ministry of History! Now he has been slapped into a pig's head by my fourth brother-in-law, and his beard was ripped off. He looks three parts like a human and seven parts like a ghost! If the emperor blames him, I'm afraid it will bring disaster to the whole family!"

Niu Ren was frightened by Wang Tianheng biting his ear and broke out in a cold sweat. His pupils immediately filled with blood and he became furious. He rolled up his sleeves and pounced on me viciously once again!

When my wife Niu Lili saw her father rushing towards me like a ferocious monster, she quickly overturned the table, twisted her body, and rushed straight to her father, protecting me behind her!

Unexpectedly, my father-in-law Niu Ren suddenly jumped up, flew directly over the head of my wife Niu Lili, and smashed towards me fiercely!