【Historical Live Broadcast】Watching videos and being seen by our ancestors

[I once brought a bag of crayfish for a friend when I was traveling by train. I dozed off on the train and was woken up by someone who said my crayfish had gone after the train attendant selling drinks.]

When I was little, my mom taught me math, but I couldn't get it right. Frustrated, she slapped me. I imitated the villainous female supporting character on TV, laughing out loud after being hit.

When I was little, I played house by digging up dirt from graves, muttering, "My sweet baby, I'll feed you." My dad thought I was possessed and swung a shovel at my back. I writhed on the ground in pain. Then, somehow, my dad got a basin of rooster blood and poured it all over me.

When I was little, I stayed at someone else's house and slept in the same bed with a relative. Suddenly, I felt like farting, so I let out one. The relative said, "That was really loud!" I thought she was complimenting me, so I farted all night long. The next day, she told my mom that I was a fart bucket.

I'll never forget that day of the big exam. I had a terrible bowel rumbling, and after the exam, the student sitting behind me asked me, "Why can you fart continuously for two hours?"

When I was a child, I was a group leader. There was a group member who didn't do his homework, was fair-skinned and clean-cut, and wanted me to cover for him. So I made him kiss me, and I promised not to tell the teacher.

So during class, we sat at desks one behind the other, squatted down, and kissed with our necks stretched out. I was only in second grade then, so young, and I took advantage of my position to take advantage of a boy. Thinking about it now makes me so embarrassed.

"When I was a child, I wet my pants. In the winter in Northeast China, I wore very thick cotton pants, so it was not very noticeable. My family never noticed."

My grandma took me to play next door. Their kang (heated brick bed) was really hot, and I deliberately sat in the warmest spot, hoping to dry my pants quickly. But it was winter and so cold that my pants were both wet and cold inside. After sitting on the warm kang for a while, someone suddenly exclaimed, "Why is the child steaming?" [laughing emoji] That's how I was exposed. My grandma scolded me and took me home to change my pants.

"When I was in first grade, I liked the principal's nephew. I generously threw a dime in front of him, but he completely ignored me. So I took the dime back [smile]. Then a few days later, I stopped liking him."

"The principal's nephew: Your online jokes about the domineering beggar falling in love with me are just a meme, but I've encountered a real-life version at such a young age."

“When I was a child, I would go to Chongqing for two months during summer vacation. Every time I went there, I would pester the kids downstairs to play with me because it was a rare opportunity to meet someone my age. Moreover, I was unfamiliar with the place and the people there. He had to attend various extracurricular classes during the summer vacation, so he could only play with me in the afternoon.”

I'm always puzzled by how this kid's mood changes every day. One day he's having a great time, but the next day when I go to see him, he's incredibly aloof and won't even talk to me. I'm shameless, though, so the more he ignores me, the more I want to pester him to play.

This went on for two weeks. Then one day I saw both of them downstairs at the same time. Turns out they were twins. I always got along better with the younger one; the older one was arrogant and didn't talk much. I just couldn't understand why no one had said anything to me after I'd been playing like this for two weeks... [facepalm][facepalm][facepalm][facepalm]"

"When I was two or three years old and knee-high, my dad scolded me for some reason. I stood at the door feeling very wronged, and no one paid any attention to me."

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. So I peed in circles in the living room, making the whole house smell. My mom was laughing so hard, and my dad didn't know what to do about it.

Later, they were quite relieved to let a little girl like her go south to make her way in the world, probably thinking that she wouldn't be bullied growing up [laughing and crying emoji]

"If that's the case, then I remember that I lived in the school dormitory two years ago when I was in school, and my stomach wasn't very good; it kept rumbling."

My roommates were all asleep at noon, and my stomach kept growling loudly without any relief. It finally stopped after about half an hour. Then, after waking up from my nap, they said, "Why are there still construction machines outside in the middle of the day?" I really didn't dare say anything.

“When I was little, my mother raised a lot of rabbits. Then one time my brother brought a bunch of his friends to my house to see the rabbits. He put the female rabbits in the breeding rabbit hutch and let them do their business.”

Then the male rabbit just wouldn't let me get away with it, so my brother poked it with a stick and got pissed on in the face. Then I felt a bit indignant for my brother and wanted to get revenge, so I poked him with a stick and got pissed on in the face too [laughing and crying emoji]

"I accidentally discovered in junior high that my face would turn a light pink after drinking alcohol, which was very vibrant and had a girlish charm!"

On a whim, I bought a bottle of beer and took a big gulp to school. Turns out I couldn't hold my liquor; I turned bright red, like I was already cooked, and my classmates rushed to tell the teacher.

The teacher thought I had a fever and rushed to have my mom come and take me home... But when my mom got close and smelled me, she knew exactly what I looked like [laughing and crying emojis].

"Help! I remember now, when I was in elementary school, wasn't Hua Qiangu really popular? And I remember that Tang Bao was created by dripping Hua Qiangu's blood on it."

My mom and I saw a discarded, somewhat withered cactus by the river. I picked a small piece and took it home. While my mom wasn't around, I planned to recreate the story of Hua Qiangu.

I wanted to find some blood on myself but couldn't, so I tried to prick my hand with a cactus thorn but gave up because it hurt too much. In the end, I spat out some saliva as blood and babbled on and on, fantasizing that one day a little sweetie would appear and call me "Mommy" [facepalm][facepalm]

The ancestors sighed: "When it comes to abstract concepts, later generations get really excited."

They're just like the monkeys on Mount Emei that I saw on Tianmu a few days ago—mischievous and utterly lawless.

Look around, besides the children of later generations, who else would do such despicable things?

That's not necessarily true. Just a few days ago, my son, who's still too young to speak properly, gave me a huge surprise.

Guess how it's made?

Hahaha, I brought back a wild wasp nest from the mountains. When my husband got home and opened the covers, he almost died inside.

Not to mention that he brought back a bunch of dead ants a few days in advance, and then slept with that ugly, terrifying toad all night, saying that it was his baby and he couldn't sleep without the toad.

If he dares to secretly throw it away, he'll bring back an even bigger and uglier one next time to scare us both.

That night, I gave him a good beating. Who would have thought that the brat would urinate while being beaten? It disgusted me so much that I couldn't bring myself to slap him. Now, thinking about it, I feel both angry and amused.

Whose brat is as clever as him? He's been a monkey since he was little, incredibly mischievous.

My husband and I are so angry! Now that we've had this kid, we finally understand why people in later generations are reluctant to have children. No family can withstand such a troublemaker!

……

Zhou Man, the hunter's daughter, looked at the sky and said: Who hasn't had wild daydreams when they were young?

I used to fantasize every day about an incredibly handsome man passing by my house who would take a liking to me while I was hunting wild boars with my dad. He would come to my house and I would eat my grandma's big steamed buns, which had to be pork and cabbage filling because I love them.

Looking back now, I can't help but laugh. What cultured, handsome man wouldn't like a rich young lady? Only a blind man would fall for someone like me who only knows how to hunt in the mountains.

Of course, I'm not a good hunter either. My father never taught me, he only taught his apprentice. I learned my mediocre skills by stealth.

As for farting, what's the big deal? I fart too when I eat too many sweet potatoes, and they're really loud. My dad always says I'm not ladylike and can't be presented properly because of it.

But I don't think so. Farting is a good thing. Only people who are well-fed fart.

I think my dad and I are the same, cut from the same mold. Whether now or in the future, I can live a stable life on my own.

No matter what outsiders say, I only know that as long as I can still lift a bow and breathe, the sky will not fall down and it will not crush me!