Ancient women awaken: loving yourself is the way to go

When Miss Zuo saw these three words, she felt as if her heart was being grabbed.

She was once bewitched by the sweet words of Young Master Rong San, and she thought every day: If I give a little more, will Young Master Rong San look at me more?

But you forget that people with noble character will not easily accept your kindness, let alone refuse it while hinting with words that you should give.

To be fair, the process of giving up a relationship is not pleasant. The pain from the heart seems to make the world dim, and you feel that all the sufferings in the world are inflicted on yourself.

But looking back now, I realize how short-sighted I was.

It seemed that there was only love in her eyes. She wanted to choose one person to spend the rest of her life with, marry him, give birth to children for him, and raise them together.

But she never realized that her original intention in pursuing love was to hope for her own happiness. When love becomes torture and a stumbling block in life, it is better to give it up.

Looking at the three big words "Love Yourself" on the stone slab, I couldn't help but stand up and ask, "Mr. Shen, can you let us share first?"

"Of course." Shen Xingxi also wanted to know how these students understood these three words.

Miss Zuo recounted her own experience, with a look of relief and yearning for the future in her eyes, "The sisters in Zhuyuan often say that men are the spice of life, but not a necessity. Everyone may yearn for love, because the love in the storybooks is too beautiful, so beautiful that as long as there is determination, all difficulties can be overcome.

But love happens between people who have feelings for each other. When the other person prevents you from loving yourself, the beauty of love has been broken. So I hope my classmates will learn from my experience and keep their eyes open when looking for their other half. "

Shen Xingxi smiled, "Let me add one more thing. There is a saying that goes 'You can know a person's face but not his heart'. It is difficult for people to see the true character of others at once. When you feel that your life is suppressed because of his existence, and you feel that you can't even breathe, I hope you will think about how your life will change without him? Can you bear these changes?

I have deliberately added a clause in the Seven Reasons for Divorce that if a woman is jealous, she can take the initiative for divorce and the husband cannot refuse. This is because I hope that when you have no other choice but to have one wife and multiple concubines, you will have a way out.

So I tell you that fame is defined by others, but we cannot be controlled by it. I hope that when you face rumors, you will laugh and say: "People laugh at me for being too crazy, I laugh at others for not seeing through it."

Students, I want you to develop interests and earn money, and I also hope that you will have enough confidence to face failures in life. "

"Since ancient times, if women want to change their fate, it seems that the only way is to get married. But have you noticed that those who really change their fate by getting married are either those who have seen through the world, are not jealous, do not let others catch them, and are respected by their husbands; or they have their own confidence, sufficient means and wisdom; or they find someone who knows how to respect them.

But the premise for others to respect you is that you have something worthy of respect."

She shook her head. "But are these really changing one's destiny? For me, it's just transferring my destiny from my parents to my husband. So I let women study, do business, and take the imperial examination. I believe that one's destiny should be in one's own hands."

I hope you are eagles that can fly freely in the sky. Love can be your habitat, with someone to accompany you through the long and cold winter, but it is not a shackle that breaks your wings.

Of course, the same is true for family love. Although we should be grateful for our parents’ upbringing, we cannot blindly be filial to them.”

Miss Luo stood up and said, "Mr. Shen, I want to talk about my experience."

After Shen Xingxi agreed, she spoke slowly, “My parents always wanted to arrange a marriage for me, and told me that although I had one wife and many concubines, I was marrying into a wealthy family, which was a blessing that others could not ask for.

I did the math with them. If I didn't arrange a marriage so early, I could do business with my partners in the academy, and maybe even cooperate with the Queen. The people I could meet would definitely be of higher status than the one I was engaged to.

It was then that I realized that reading can make people more clear-headed, and that my parents’ decisions were not always right. It was only because I learned to love myself that I dared to refute what my parents said. ”

Shen Xingxi smiled, "In fact, I have always wanted to cancel the rule that parents don't have to listen to their children's opinions when arranging their children's marriages, but I do worry about the saying 'filial piety is above heaven'. I can only let you have the ability to think first, and then proceed step by step. When more children know how to resist, canceling this rule will be a natural thing to do.

Now it seems that the time has come. If you don't want to get married after graduation, find a way to delay it for a while.

Students, we have talked about love and family, does anyone want to talk about friendship? "

"Mr. Shen, can I speak?" The girl stood up and pursed her lips tightly, looking like she had mustered up all her courage.

Shen Xingxi was a little surprised. The girl who stood up was the prime minister's youngest daughter. She was introverted and unsociable. Jasmine once said that she had a high talent for medicine, but was more suitable for studying medicinal materials and it was a bit of a stretch for her to be a doctor.

Shen Xingxi smiled with some encouragement: "Of course, I really want to hear your ideas."

The prime minister's youngest daughter took a deep breath, clutched her trouser legs and said, "I am the only daughter in my family. My mother was nearly 40 years old when she gave birth to me. My youngest brother is ten years older than me, and my oldest nephew is three years older than me. When I was a child, I wanted to play with my nephew, but I was bound by etiquette and my father always asked me not to disrespect my elders.

I was young and ignorant at that time, and I immediately said to my father: I am just older in generation, not in age.

After my father taught me a lesson, my nephew no longer wanted to play with me. Even the neighbor sister told me that she was engaged to my nephew and he should respect me.

I gradually became tired of being in a crowd.

I know some people say I’m a loner, but the truth is I just don’t know how to get along with others.”

She paused, "I'm also afraid that you will suddenly stay away from me because of seniority issues."

She bowed to her playmates and said, "In fact, I know that you approached me on purpose because you were attracted by my background. With me around, your parents won't marry you off easily, and they won't object to you coming to school.

I also heard you chatting behind my back, talking about your guilt for taking advantage of me, and how you were racking your brains to make it up to me. I always wanted to say that, actually, I should be the one to thank.

I desperately need to help you to dare to step out of your own world, and your desire to return my friendship is the best support for me. "

She looked at Shen Xingxi, "Mr. Shen, I don't know if my idea is right? People always seem to be unable to accept being used, but I think friendship can only last if both sides get what they need. I think I am willing to accept their use because I am thinking about myself; I am willing to help them because I am happy for myself; I open my heart because I want to love myself more."

Shen Xingxi was silent for a moment, "I can't easily agree or disagree with your point of view, but I can say that friendship based on mutual benefit is more likely to last longer than selfless dedication from one side.

In fact, it is not just friendship, but also love. Because we want to enjoy the feeling of accelerated heartbeat, we want to be with each other from the bottom of our hearts. Because we need to fill the gaps in our lives, we have the motivation to live together. "

She picked up the charcoal pencil and drew a circle around the three words "Love Yourself". "Students, loving yourself does not mean being selfish. If you aspire to be a soldier who defends your country, and you feel that sacrificing your life on the battlefield and shedding your blood to protect millions of people can satisfy you, it is also a manifestation of loving yourself.

If you see someone's belongings scattered on the ground on the street, and you help pick them up, you will feel that you have done a good deed, and you will feel happy or proud inside, and you are also loving yourself. "

“I hope that in the future you can build up strong inner strength by loving yourself so that you can better cope with the challenges and difficulties in life.

At the same time, I hope you can get used to and enjoy loving yourself, including taking good care of your body, accepting your imperfections, adhering to your values ​​that do not violate the law, pursuing your dreams, and avoiding excessive self-criticism and denial...."