Trajectory 2: entangled curves

At that time, she didn't understand why she had to think so much.

Why should I reject such a perfect boyfriend that others envy? He is just a boyfriend. Many of my friends have boyfriends. I have been involved in various scandals at school and have had various boyfriends all the time.

So, he’s just a boyfriend, why would you be so stingy with him?

Besides, she clearly didn't want to refuse. Yes, she felt that she didn't understand love, and it was a bit irresponsible to talk about love, but, she was clearly moved, why couldn't she give it a try? Was she still young? She wasn't young anymore. Didn't she even dare to like someone, didn't even dare to accept being liked? Besides, he was Huang Cangran, the man who wouldn't lie to her or hurt her.

Why should we think so much about the future? Isn't it better to seize the present? Her emotions were fighting.

But now, she can understand her childhood self very well. Her age and experience are not enough for her to understand what love is. Because now she knows that if there is no right person, this will be a question worth exploring and thinking about for a lifetime.

At that time, Huang Cangran never left.

He is waiting.

Waiting for her to come back, waiting for a satisfactory outcome for them.

Zhuge Qinuo was in a taxi, and two voices in her head were tormenting her and giving her a splitting headache.

"Is it really like this? Is it really like this? Will I really not regret it?" She asked herself repeatedly, "If I really go back, will he be gone? If he is still here, will he laugh at me? Will he be so sad that he won't forgive me? Will it really be useful to go back? What will happen after I go back? What will be the result?"

Zhuge Qinuo's heart was shaken by the sound of a text message.

At that time, she had made up her mind. If it was Huang Cangran's, no matter what he said, she decided to go back to him immediately.

But Zhuge Qinuo, who entered the dream, understood that she was destined to be disappointed.

She opened her phone.

"Go home?"

Two words popped up on the screen - Dad.

Zhuge Qinuo laughed at himself, and the fluctuation just now seemed to be calmed down in an instant.

"Dad, I'm on my way. You go to sleep first and don't worry." Zhuge Qinuo quickly replied to Zhuge Nan.

"Yes, it's not him. How could it be him? I was so resolute just now, too resolute. How could it be him? I was the one who said such cruel words and did such cruel things just now, and hurt him so badly."

Zhuge Qinuo closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind, but he couldn't stop the tears from escaping wildly from his closed eyes.

"It seems that we are really not destined to be together!" Even Zhuge Qinuo couldn't help but sigh.

In the end, she didn't turn around. This was her choice.

When I got home, Zhuge Nan was still waiting at home: "You're back!"

"Yes, Dad. I'm sorry to have worried you. Brother Cangran is going abroad." Zhuge Qinuo had already adjusted her mood before returning home. She knew Zhuge Nan would wait for her. But she knew she couldn't control herself for long, so she told him the truth directly.

"Okay. Go to sleep." Zhuge Nan said.

"Okay, Dad, I'm going back to my room." Zhuge Qinuo thanked Zhuge Nan for not asking any more questions.

At least many parents would ask questions at this time, but Zhuge Nan did not. He cared, but respected.

Now that she has become a mother, she truly understands how precious Zhuge Nan's few words are.

Zhuge Qinuo went back to his room, closed the door, and started to cry uncontrollably.

After a long time, there was still no news of Huang Cangran.

Zhuge Qinuo decided to send her a text message.

"Still a little girl." Zhuge Qinuo couldn't help but comment in his dream. Because, in fact, if she was really ruthless enough at that time and could really let it go, she could have kept it to herself.

However, she gave herself a good excuse at that time - she had to report that she was safe.

She was afraid that she would regret it, so she quickly sent a WeChat message: "Brother Cangran, I'm home. Don't worry!"

Huang Cangran's phone vibrated, and two words appeared on the screen: Nuo'er. It really made him feel "dead and alive"

Slide the phone open.

"Brother Cangran, I'm home. Don't worry!"

Perhaps, at that time, he could truly understand what it meant for the flame of hope to be ignited and then extinguished.

"Don't miss me, don't think about me, don't worry about me. I understand, Nuo'er, silly child. After all, you can't bear to hurt me too deeply." He repeated it in his mind, talking to himself, and finally put down his phone with a wry smile.

Not long after, he smiled, a clean and bright smile that bloomed with his tears.

With Zhuge Qinuo's current understanding of him, she could completely understand his expression.

At that time, he already knew that there was no possibility for him and her anymore.

He must have been heartbroken at the time, yet also felt relieved.

"At least, in her heart, I am still her brother. This is what she thinks after all...." He was talking but didn't finish.

Zhuge Qinuo now understood what she hadn't finished saying: "And you will satisfy her needs in the end."

Zhuge Qinuo suddenly felt suffocated when she fell asleep. She saw Huang Cangran's pain and knew what Zhuge Qinuo was doing at that time.

At that time, she was waiting for Huang Cangran's reply, but she didn't get it.

This was the first time that Huang Cangran did not reply to her text message in time. She felt empty in her heart and her mind.

In her dream, she saw herself crying, a lot, and it seemed that her body in reality was also crying unconsciously. It felt like a big part of her heart had been lost, and now she was experiencing it all over again.

At that time, she knew that she could only slowly heal these losses by herself.

Hiding under the quilt, she sobbed. She really wanted to pick up the phone and tell him to stay. She even wanted to find Huang Cangran immediately, hug him tightly, and ask him to stay for her.

Crying, thinking, getting tired, and sleeping.

In her dream, she wanted to appear in front of her then, comfort her, and tell her that she had done very well. Sometimes, many things cannot be forced, such as fate. She also wanted to tell her, or take this opportunity to let go of Huang Cangran completely, so as to avoid the future... But she thought it was ridiculous. How could she ask a teenage girl to do something that she couldn't do 20 years later? Besides, that was her, and she knew very well who she was.

Let go, it doesn't exist.

For some reason, the dream entered the next day in chronological order. Zhuge Qinuo still hadn't received a reply from Huang Cangran. She was absent-minded the whole day after going out for tutoring.

The sun that summer seemed to be particularly scorching. Even at night, when it was long gone, it still left its heat, making it hard to breathe.

At that time, she did not cry anymore. Instead, she fell into a deep depression, which almost suffocated Zhuge Qinuo in his dream. She seemed to be split into three parts.

One is in the story, going through the process; one is lying in the real world, his body stiff; and the other is crying loudly in a corner unknown to anyone.

"Ding", the sound of a text message.