Trajectory 2: entangled curves

After an unknown amount of time, Zhuge Qinuo spoke up: "That was really my first kiss, and it was also really yours?"

Her voice was gentle and weak.

Huang Cangran felt relaxed and sweet in his heart.

Only Zhuge Qinuo, who was in the dream, knew that he would be disappointed.

Huang Cangran felt that Zhuge Qinuo finally chose his arms, and he nodded slightly as an answer to her question.

Feeling Huang Cangran nod, Zhuge Qinuo continued: "I will accept your first kiss, remember your scent, temperature and heartbeat in this hug, and then seal it all up and bury it. This is a secret between the two of us."

He didn't have time to savor the happiness because he could sense something was wrong in her words.

"But all our accidents end here." Zhuge Qinuo said. His feeling was right.

"Let me go, I'm leaving and going home. If I don't go back, my dad will be worried. You should go too, and have a good study abroad. Goodbye, Cangran, brother."

It turns out that’s what she meant.

Zhuge Qinuo's calmness is what makes Huang Cangran most desperate.

He understood her and knew her decision at this moment. She must have been disgusted with his appearance and behavior just now, so she showed her understanding and gave him the last bit of dignity.

When it comes to emotional stability, how could he lose to her?

Huang Cangran smiled, loosened his hand, let Zhuge Qinuo walk out of his arms, let her turn around, let her leave.

He understood that this was all Zhuge Qinuo was willing to give him.

Zhuge Qinuo, who was in a dream, could see that Huang Cangran's heart was like a roller coaster going up and down, but he remained calm.

Just as he thought, Zhuge Qinuo never gave him another glance at that time.

No looking back, no stopping.

Looking at her back, he smiled and tears fell from his eyes: "Goodbye, Nuoer."

Zhuge Qinuo didn't know it at that time, but she saw him crying in her dream.

Huang Cangran cried for her. She had always thought that his feelings for her at that time were just a young throbbing, but from a different angle and perspective, his feelings for her were different from what she had originally thought. They were much deeper than she thought.

At that time Zhuge Qinuo turned and left without looking back.

That kiss, that hug, and the Huang Cangran who had laughed and scolded with her filled her heart and her mind. She was afraid that if she turned around, she would do something impulsive.

Nearly 20 years later, she also felt that she was both ruthless and sober at that time.

Huang Cangran's handsome and angular face that has lost its childishness, his eyes full of love, his passionate kiss, his strong and warm hug, how many girls can refuse him? Even if she were to be like him now, she might not be able to resist.

However, she still had many concerns at that time: as a high school student, she could not bear such a formal relationship that was no longer a superficial one; her long-term brother-sister relationship with him had come to a point where it really needed to change, and she could not make the transition; he reminded her that there was indeed another shadow in her mind, and the relationship was not extremely pure, so she could not accept it against her will, not even a little bit. After all, she could not pretend; his excellence and promising future made her feel that there was an insurmountable distance between them, and she felt that she could not catch up; and she could not face the questions between her parents in the future.

In fact, she can now admit some facts.

At that time, she had thought about being with him, and even after she first vaguely knew his feelings, she had thought about it many times. Not to mention his excellence, just based on his handsome face, Zhuge Qinuo, who was obsessed with looks, would find it hard to refuse him in his heart.

It was just that the various concerns she had mentioned above made her hesitate to approach him.

After all, she knew very clearly from a young age that if two people were together, there would be too many details. She was most afraid that his current love would become a burden after more details and constraints, and all the burdens added up would turn into dislike. Why bother to be tired of each other?

After all, they now have a better relationship - brother and sister.

She would rather he always treat her like a brother, so that he can always pamper her, give in to her, and love her in the name of a brother. And she can always enjoy the care and love that is more affectionate than a brother to a sister, and her occasional willfulness and temper can be forgiven at the first time, and all her coquettishness can be responded to. Everything can be so legitimate.

Yes, she was selfish, she admitted.

Yes, she had low self-esteem, she admitted.

It's not that she doesn't want to be with him, it's that she's afraid. She just doesn't have the confidence to be with him, and any psychological preparation is in vain because she has tried. She has considered many obstacles but has not really thought of solutions because she is not really ready to bear any heavy burden, she just wants to enjoy his special care.

At that time, Zhuge Qinuo felt that she was a shameless and cowardly person. But if she were to choose again, she would still do the same. She did not regret her choice at that time.

For her at that time, it was better to explain it this way.

They can each choose and pursue what they want and the most suitable one in so much time and possibilities in the future.

Wasn’t it too early to talk about these things at that time, especially when it came to “later” and “future”? Too early.

She is only in the first year of high school and has no idea what she wants or doesn't want. She is confused, which is normal. She also doesn't have the courage to really try, and then summarize her preferences through various attempts, which is normal.

But in fact, the most important thing is that she doesn't want to turn Huang Cangran into an experiment. She still does this now.

At that time, Zhuge Qinuo was walking and running, as if the night tonight was particularly cold.

What about Huang Cangran? Rather than understanding his own feelings, Zhuge Qinuo, who entered the dream, seemed to be able to observe from Huang Cangran's perspective.

He looked at her running back and smiled bitterly.

What was he laughing at? He was obviously laughing at her rejection, which had caused him to lose his temper, but it seemed that she was the one who had to flee.

He probably still wanted to rush over, hold her hand, and send her home.

He stayed where he was until he could no longer see Zhuge Qinuo's back, then he sat back on the stool and continued drinking.

Where was Zhuge Qinuo at that time?

She got into a taxi, Huang Cangran's face still in her mind.

The will to leave in her mind seemed to be swallowed up little by little by his face, and she actually had an urge to turn the car around and go back to hug Huang Cangran tightly.

She was shaken.

This is a fact that she had to admit then and now.