Trajectory 2: entangled curves

Mi Bei took a few deep breaths and said, "The way you love her is very special and great. Zhuge is happy."

Huang Cangran: "You still don't understand."

Mi Bei: “Please enlighten me.”

Huang Cangran: "She can't be considered happy."

Mibe: “She has you.”

Huang Cangran: "But, now I cannot give her true happiness. It's not because I can't accompany her, nor is it related to money, status, fame, or worldly matters. It's just because my feelings for her are not equal. I want to give her more, but I don't dare."

"You will ask why again, but I have already given you the answer. She is a very principled person, so the most perfect thing is to give her a relationship that is equally matched."

"I didn't dare let her know how much she occupied in my heart. I scared her away, and the result was more than ten years of separation. Now that I'm back, it means I can't bear another ten years."

"In the past, when I was as young as you, I thought love was possession. Now, I know love is fulfillment, it is to make her happy and to watch her happy. We haven't seen each other for more than ten years, and I haven't seen each other once. But I know she got married and had children, and I didn't stay pure for her. I hated her and wondered why I should stay pure for her. I was a bohemian outside for a few years, and you may not understand the emptiness after that kind of debauchery and indulgence. With hatred for her, I tore myself to pieces."

"There's a saying that goes, 'No destruction, no construction.' Just when my body had reached its limit, I also had the thought of marrying someone. Using someone to replace her, completely forgetting her, and living another life."

"One year, I brought a woman home and told my family that she was my fiancée. I also invited her and Han Moli. However, we never really met. Han Moli was on a business trip at the time. I wanted to see what kind of person she was marrying, but since I couldn't come, it didn't matter. I didn't come to see him. But she also told my mother that she had something to do and couldn't come."

"But what she didn't know was that I clearly saw her car parked in front of my house."

"She ran away. She knew I was back and accepted the invitation. After she found out I was with my fiancée, she actually ran away. What does this mean?"

"It means she can't face the fact that I have a fiancée. This means that in her heart, she has set that I should always have her in my heart. If this is the case, I will tentatively analyze that she has not really let me go; or, she doesn't want to face my couples alone, at least she has to wait until Han Moli comes back and is equal to me; or, she is not living well enough, she can face me alone, because there is still a family relationship, but she can't face my happiness."

"That was what I thought at the time. No matter which one it was, I couldn't bear it. I wouldn't hurt her because of others. I wouldn't allow it myself. So we returned to the United States that day."

"But it turned out that I underestimated her. The next day, she sent me a text message on my old phone. She apologized to me for not being able to meet and wished me happiness. Her words were sincere and came from the heart. This time I was the one who got scared and I didn't reply."

"Because she was going back the next day, this time was very delicate. This meant that even if my guesses were all correct, she had begun to let it go. She had learned to accept reality."

"I tried to avoid her and she even asked my mom for my new phone number. She sent me another simple apology and a blessing. This time, I couldn't avoid her. I just sent her a simple greeting."

"I really don't want her to let go. Although I have a lot to say, I'm afraid that if I tell her what's on my mind, it will scare her away. She finally took the initiative to find me."

"Because of this incident, I began to reflect and pay attention to some things. Apart from the New Year's greetings that seem to be sent to a group every year, we don't have much contact. But compared to scaring her away and not talking to each other, obviously, this way makes us both more comfortable. She can be relieved, and I don't have to fight with myself."

"Because of this annual contact, I was able to appear by her side as her brother when she got divorced."

"So, that's why you don't like Han Moli calling you brother-in-law?" Mi Bei was very good at grasping the key points.

"It's not that I didn't try. The time she was filming with Deng Qing, I scared her away again. But her recovery period this time was much shorter than I thought."

"I've said so much, it seems a bit off topic. But I want you to know more of the whole story. What I want to say is that she is very concerned. People who are not good to her make her feel relieved. If you treat her well and give her too much, she will feel burdened because she will always think about the return."

"So, in fact, being someone around her is very happy. Apart from love, she will be happy to give other emotions, and she will give much more than you give her. It is difficult for her to really feel happy like this."

"It's hard to be someone who loves her. It's harder than climbing to the sky to get her true heart. She protects herself too well, so well that even 'love' is a kind of rationality. Everything has to be just right. But we all know that 'love' is an emotion that cannot be rational."

"But, you said she treated me..." Mi Bei was a little confused.

"It's obvious that she likes you very much. That's why I want to tell you so much. You need to understand her more completely to make sure whether you are really ready to be with her." Huang Cangran explained, "If you can, I will be her brother, Chengcheng and Xinxin's uncle, and I will stand in my position. However, if you don't have the ability to love like this, don't hurt her. Don't hurt her anymore. She deserves to be happier."

"So, whether I am here or Han Moli is here, don't feel burdened. Our presence is to help her, and also to help you see each other's hearts clearly."

Mi Bei: "Why? Why do you love her so much, but you can give her to someone else?"

Huang Cangran: "I didn't give in, I just understood and saw it clearly, and now I can't fight."

"But I'm not giving up. She can stick to her moral bottom line, and so can I. I will still be by her side, even if I have to be her brother. Isn't it just being a good brother to her? How difficult can that be?"

"What I want is not only her body, but also her heart. Otherwise, I will be the second Han Moli. I don't want to make myself so pathetic, and I believe she doesn't want to either."

Mi Bei: "So, this is why you love him. In fact, she also has a place for you in her heart, but you can't be together."