Overturned Tower

"...Ah, I remembered!"

"what?"

asked the barber immediately.

"Ah, it's a bit embarrassing to say..."

Morgan was a little embarrassed.

But she was silent for a while, and still replied softly: "Back then, I actually wanted to be a [hero]."

"……hero?"

"Every kid wants to be a hero, right?"

Morgan recalls with some nostalgia: "In the beginning, I wanted to have 'admirers'.

"After that... I wanted to be his hero alone. Be his hero."

"...What do you think of heroes?"

The barber asked in a low voice, "Media darling, corporate toy, stupid lunatic...or what?"

"It's the wind. It's the light. It's any force in time enough to change everything."

Morgan replied without hesitation: "Whenever he needs me, I can be there-I think that is a hero."

She asked back, "What about you?"

"...a hero is a powerless thing."

The barber took a deep breath: "Something has to be sacrificed and some tragedy has to happen before a hero is born.

"Many costs are borne by the heroes' relatives and friends, some are borne by the innocent...very few are borne by the heroes themselves.

"Heroes can save many people. Only those who make themselves heroes that day and night cannot be saved."

In his mind, the weak and dead mother appeared.

Those skinny limbs and pale face, just thinking about it will make your heart palpitate.

"Heroes can't do anything."

he repeated.

"If I were an unrestrained demon king, maybe I could laugh and destroy this world... But I can't. My cares are too deep, my personality is weak, and I worry too much.

"If I were an omnipotent sage, I might be able to change the whole world from top to bottom, so that tragedies would never happen again. But I am too powerless...my wisdom, my will, and my talents are just ordinary people Degree.

"I can't do anything..."

"That's why you awakened your psychic powers," Morgan said softly, "I won't blame you for using his identity. Because I know... the heart of any psyker is sad.

"Because a person always has to fail completely before he can discover his true desire."

"I……"

The barber hesitated to speak.

He felt a rare sense of confusion.

My desire... Russell's desire, what is it?

"...I want to help others."

If he realized something, he murmured in a low voice: "I want to make myself... useful."

Chapter 43 The Magic Mirror of Desire

Let yourself just exist, and you can help others.

Make yourself "useful".

——That may be Russell's original wish.

Gazing into Miss Morgan's tear-filled eyes...

Russell seemed to see his former self.

That was the desire of my own self, long before I came to this world, that was born and germinated from childhood.

The increasingly surging mood is like the tide in the high tide period.

The pale wild flame was finally uncontrollable.

Burning attached to the fundus of the eyes, completely burning Russell's entire field of vision.

The whole world is scorched and curled by white flames, like a photo placed on a candle...

The roar of the machine in the ear gradually dissipated.

The dim world in front of my eyes became relatively brighter.

The original Lower Town and Miss Morgan disappeared.

The hands are clasped tightly, and the touch is real and unmistakable.

Rather than hallucinations, it was more like being transported and appearing somewhere.

——But it’s certainly not in this world.

Because when he looked down, Russell couldn't see his own shadow.

The place where he is right now is the "sacrifice hall" that he can see every time he activates his real psychic power.

There are many empty photo frames, and the high and low white candles...

The photos of Alice, the blue songbird and the father of the bird of paradise are still in front of his eyes.

Only this time, his consciousness was extraordinarily clear.He even has his own real body, not just a vague idea without hands.

The original Russell was like the protagonist of a horror game.

I walked over and pressed a survey button, but I didn't see my hand stretched out, and the things were picked up in the air, and I could even flip through the survey...

At this moment, Russell realized... what happened to him.

This is... the transfer ceremony.

Blueshift = Redshift, the ritual of awakening the name of psionic power.

This means that Russell's redshift value has just increased by one level.

At the same time, it also means that before Russell's "rationality" breaks through the limits of ordinary people, there is already a possibility that he may lose control and become a demon at any time...

And at this time, Russell was finally able to do what he had always wanted to do, but had never been able to do in the illusion before.

He looked back for the first time, wanting to see what was behind him.

After all, his previous perspective was fixed... only the photos in front of him and on both sides could be seen.

But as soon as he turned around, he froze in place.

I saw no white candles behind me.

On a big table, there are only two photo frames next to each other.

Although the environment of the room was a little dim, Russell could recognize at a glance... who was the person in the photo frame.

In the photo frame on the right is a boy with golden cat ears, green pupils, and a bright and confident smile.

He seemed to be stretching out his right hand, putting another person's shoulders on each other - because there was also such a hand on his left shoulder.

The right arm of the boy with cat ears pierced through the photo frame he was in, and appeared on the shoulder of the person in the photo frame next door.

It was a shy boy with short black hair that reached the ears, a more handsome appearance than the cat-eared boy, and a thinner figure, and a girlish and feminine face.

That was...the self in my previous life.

It was my student self when I first entered college.

Russell and "Russell" are like partners, holding each other's shoulders.Although it is two different photo frames, it is like a group photo.

……That is.

"My Photo?

— Then who am I?

"...why are you so useless.

"I can't study, and I can't make friends."

There seemed to be scolding from my parents when I was childish in my ears.

Maybe it was just a casual complaint, but the child quietly remembered it.

He didn't show any abnormality on the surface, just went to play with himself as usual, like a stupid child who couldn't even understand the meaning of the words of blame.

When I was depressed, I heard the angelic voice of my friend: "Don't hold back if you are unhappy."

But when the real tears burst, the comforting voice became dull: "I don't understand...what is there to cry about such a trivial matter?

"—You are too sensitive."

This is true.

The young Russell also knew that he was the one with the problem.

His emotions are too sensitive, like a spider web... The struggle of a mosquito can cause the entire web to vibrate, awakening the spider named "fear" to come to prey.

Even when he was sleeping, he would have nightmares because of it.

Dreaming of being driven far away for being too useless, and then being thrown away... like a stray dog.

Dreaming that I was not allowed to go home because I was too useless, and I cried and banged on the door, but there was no response.

I dreamed that my throat could not speak, and I tried to explain it to someone, but the other person's expression was concerned at first and then became bored.

...Ah, it was that time.

He muttered to himself silently.

indeed so.

From that time on, the young Russell understood...no one can truly understand the position of others, and no one can empathize with others' psychology.

This is taken for granted because no one can "be" anyone else.Everyone's life is independent.

Therefore, it is very reasonable for people to have disputes and quarrels, misunderstandings and contradictions.

If it is an ordinary person, maybe it will become more mature and sensible...

It may also become less sensitive and less vulnerable.It is also possible to simply become inferior, introverted, and no longer communicate with others.

Either way is reasonable.

But that's where Russell's is different.

...his reaction was too intense.

——If you can't understand the position of others, if you can't experience the thoughts of others, try to find a way to "become" others.

With the same hobbies, similar thinking patterns, and similar levels, you can become friends with anyone.

——If your own failure is too painful, go to realize the wishes of others.

Only realize the wishes of others... You can also share the joy when you win, and you will not let yourself down when you fail.

——If you are too incompetent.

Then don't be yourself, but be someone else.

From the very beginning, it was not a passive "pleaser personality".

But something weirder, more abnormal than that.

Learn other people's strengths, experience other people's preferences, feel other people's sorrows and joys, and realize other people's wishes.

Then, become someone else's "other self" in the world.

Being loved by people is a matter of course.

It is natural to be feared and disgusted by a few sensitive people.

...not so much making friends.