LOL: I really didn't want to be a comedian!

Chapter 4 "He's simply a genius!"

Are mosquito coils considered smoke? I don't know why, but Di Wu always feels that way.
My system is a bit strange and abstract, but it also seems quite reasonable?

"what happened?"

"The pig's screams in the middle of the night: is it the extinction of humanity or the decline of morality?"

"Time to slaughter the pig!!!"

"Oh no, I can't tell if it's PDD squealing or the little pig squealing!"

"Little Pig: Finally... finally you've made a move against them?"

"When we were playing, I called her 'Little Fragrance,' and now... um! it seems like I'm still 'Little Fragrance'! Tears are streaming down my face."

The screams continued for several minutes. Although Teacher Piao was not in front of the live stream, the number of viewers in his live stream had reached 1000 million!
The shouts that resounded across the entire Huangpu River were like the roar of a lion.

As K God once said, the Huangpu River needs a storm, so he suggested that Di Wu burn Teacher Piao's buttocks with mosquito coils, thus creating this storm.

What are you doing?!

Teacher Piao stared at Di Wu in astonishment, her eyes inexplicably revealing a hint of allure.

"No, please don't do this, I was wrong!"

Di Wu immediately knelt down in front of Teacher Piao.

No, buddy? Give me back my pure yang pig! I want a slutty pig, not a slutty pig's wife! Did a mosquito coil burn away all your yang energy?
Teacher Piao's gaze is frightening. I still have at least two days left before I sign with LGD, and I'm going to stay in Teacher Piao's mansion for several more days.

Teacher Piao cleared his throat before uttering a pure, yang-like voice: "You little brat, you're like duck meat."

He actually burned his own butt with a mosquito coil? Who would have thought that ever since he started smoking backwards, he'd get into trouble again? It seems like he's destined to be plagued by fire; now he's burned himself even though he doesn't have a lighter at home.

I must find a master to pray to tomorrow, then sign a contract with LGD and get rid of this plague god as soon as possible!
Screw it, go play in the LPL! Don't come here and ruin your life.

【Ding! 】

[Teacher Piao is very angry about the host's behavior. Please follow the system's prompts to appease Teacher Piao!]

[Reward: 120 Comedy Points]

Although it only has 120 comedy points, it's a system-provided task, so I can just follow along.

Isn't this just a free win? It was so easy! Sorry to the players who are working hard in ranked games, maybe I'm just what they call...
"Savior!"

I simply skipped the effort and went straight to the results, just like everyone else!

【Ding! 】

Step 1: Extend both fingers and place them on your temples!

Di Wu smiled slightly at the enraged pig in front of him and put two fingers on his head.

Just follow the system's prompts. There's no possibility of the task failing; I'm not a bot!

[Step Two: Squat and Swing!]

"Oh? A boxing stance? Interesting!"

Di Wu squatted down slightly and began to sway, his body moving from side to side like a mermaid.

Hmph, Mr. Piao! Sorry, my swaying figure would confuse even Tyson.

[Step 3: Repeat steps 1 and 2, connecting with "I won't do it again, I know I was wrong"]

Di Wu listened to the voice in his mind in surprise, and his body began to sway almost subconsciously.

"I won't do it again, I know I was wrong~~~"

???

What am I doing?
I think I'm possessed by an evil spirit.

A strong sense of shame made Di Wu's body tremble. He couldn't believe that he had actually made such an eye-watering combination of punches.

Forget about Teacher Piao forgiving me; I'd be lucky if he didn't come up and beat me to death.

Teacher Piao opened his mouth wide, his eyes almost rolled back, and it felt like he was about to spit out white foam. Everything in front of him was like a pollution of the Klein type, eroding his remaining sanity, and it was a permanent infection.

It must be my imagination, right? He could no longer tell whether Di Wu was possessed by evil spirits or whether he himself was possessed.

Could this be a fake world? I can't tell, I really can't tell!

"I...I must have eaten some mushrooms? I actually saw Di Wu dancing?" Teacher Piao covered his forehead and walked towards the room: "I might need to rest for a while, Xiao Di! Go and do my live stream for me."

[Ding!] [Reward: Comedy Points x120]

"Um"

live streaming!?
A terrifying thought flashed through Di Wu's mind: Was he standing right under the live stream camera just now?

"No, oh no, oh no!!!"

Di Wu walked tremblingly to the computer in front of Teacher Piao.
Seeing the screen full of question marks, Di Wu finally collapsed onto the sofa, his carefully cultivated perfect image ruined.
Last year, when he first appeared in the LPL, he even dyed his hair white, and with his handsome features, he attracted many fans right from his first appearance. Although they were gradually driven away by repeated knock-ups,
At the very least, she should be portrayed as a cold and aloof pretty face!
After I retire, I definitely won't be able to put flower pots in my live stream like Masto, right?
If anyone's going to put anything down, it should be a vase, but this whole thing...
After I retire, all I'll be able to do is display my chrysanthemums!

He wiped the sticky mouse of Teacher Piao with a wet wipe and then checked the number of VIPs in the live stream.
"We're doomed! We're doomed!"

"You...listen to my explanation!"

Di Wu couldn't even utter a word before being drowned out by the barrage of comments in front of him.

"My goodness, Teacher Piao has gone too far!"

“Bullying! This is bullying!”

"This is outrageous! Professional players have no matches to play and are forced to dance at streamers' houses to make a living!"

"I understand, Uncle understands! A gambling father, a sick mother, a younger brother who dropped out of school, a broken family!"

"Every family has its own problems, right? Your uncles understand you!"

"To be frank, with Gnik's looks, how about I introduce him to a host club?"

Not
"What do you all understand? Why do you all know so much? You've been doing this all along!"

"Pay attention to all aspects of society!"

I'm not some savior, am I? I'm just a pig!
For 120 comedy points, I sold my soul? Unforgivable! Even if God replaced him with K, he still wouldn't forgive himself.

The slides for tomorrow haven't even come out yet, and I'm already contaminated!

Alas! My professional career is over!
【Ding! 】

[The comments section is buzzing with sympathy for the host; something must be done to ease the tension! As the king of comedy, tell a super funny lame joke!]

[Reward: 120 Comedy Points]

Wow! Another 120. Might as well take it!
Is this a joke?

In just a few seconds, Di Wu had already come up with a brilliant lame joke! He swore.
Everyone in the live stream room burst into laughter!

"But... is such a brilliant joke still considered a lame joke?"

"That's it!"

"Brothers, do you know why anime culture is so developed in Japan?"

Di Wu's sudden remarks filled the screen with question marks.

"No? What do you mean? You just blurted it out?"

"You don't know anything, damn it!! Aren't domestically produced 3D animations better than anime these days?"

"Alright, alright, Gnik, you're finished. You're such a Western worshipper, aren't you!"

"That's conservative. A typical conservative. Do you still think that things are worse in China than abroad?"

The comments section immediately started labeling Di Wu.
However, Di Wu's next sentence almost killed the live stream.

"Because they were already original fans of the second generation back in 1945!"

???

"A genius! He's simply a genius!"

"You're right, but I think people like Teacher Piao and Xiao Ma aren't popular in Japan, since they don't like fat people and little boys!"

"Conservatives? That's right, conservatives unanimously agree that the radicals' opinions are indeed far too conservative!"

【Ding! 】

[Reward: 120 Comedy Points]

. . . . . .

(End of this chapter)