Fatal Desire

Chapter 131 Why Don't I Like You
Song Xi was not very surprised by Zhao Yansen's appearance.

The large apartment was a gift from him; he knew her inside and out and could always easily find out where she was.

However, she had never seen Zhao Yansen so lonely.

Song Xi stared at him blankly, her heart throbbing with a bittersweet feeling. She took a deep breath and said, "Brother."

Zhao Yansen seemed to only then notice her return. He reached for the ashtray, stubbed out his cigarette, lifted his eyelids, and cast a deep gaze at her.

"Xixi."

He reached out to her and spoke, his voice hoarse: "Come here and give me a hug."

Song Xi stood there staring at him for a long time, but did not move an inch.

Seeing that she didn't react, Zhao Yansen stood up and walked towards her.

He strode closer, and Song Xi instinctively took a step back.

After reviewing the medical records several times, Zhao Yansen could still vividly recall Song Xi's desperate and broken state. His heart felt as if it were being squeezed tightly by an invisible hand, causing him constant, sharp pain.

He strode forward and suddenly pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as if she were a piece of driftwood, and he would drown the moment he let go.

"Cough...cough...you're holding me too tightly." Song Xi coughed twice, frowning. He was holding her too tightly, and she didn't even have room to struggle.

Zhao Yansen loosened his grip slightly, but still held her tightly: "Why didn't you tell me?"

Song Xi quickly figured out why he had come here and pushed him away forcefully.

"Because I don't want this situation to happen, I don't want you to come to me only after you know I'm sick."

Zhao Yansen swallowed hard and looked down at her: "I came here not just because you're sick."

His eyelashes were long, casting shadows on his eyelids, making him look more somber and defeated than usual.

Song Xi looked at him.

The air seemed increasingly oppressive, and the room was so quiet that no sound could be heard.

Years of restraint, habitual thinking, and his high position had made Zhao Yansen reluctant to express his feelings. But at this moment, he knew he had to give her a definite answer.

"I want to see you." He gazed intently into her shimmering peach blossom eyes and told her in a hoarse yet clear voice.

Song Xi's expression remained largely unchanged, his eyes conveying a cold indifference, as if he were detached from the situation.

Zhao Yansen: "Don't believe me?"

During his hospitalization, she still chose to go abroad, for two reasons: first, she had promised him; second, she was obsessive and crazy, afraid that she would end up like Xu Yi, loving him but not being able to have him, and hurting him.

But she clung to a sliver of hope that perhaps he liked her even a little, that perhaps he would come looking for her. She waited and waited, until she was heartbroken and on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but he never came.

If she hadn't returned to China, she thought she would never have seen him again in her life.

She hated him, and she hated herself. She had ruined their past, turning so many beautiful memories into ruins.

Song Xi couldn't trust Zhao Yansen. She had trusted him so much before, but what did she get in return?
The time they spent apart wove a net, locking her inside, tightening it little by little, until finally leaving her battered and bruised.

"Why should I believe you?" Song Xi's fingers curled stiffly as she said calmly, "Since you got the information from Sister Guan Yue, you should know that I hate you now."

She paused for a moment, then continued, "You don't like me, and I hate you too. I don't think there's any need for us to meet in private."

"I think it's necessary for us to meet."

Zhao Yansen's eyes were deep and unfathomable, like a mysterious, bottomless sea. He bent down slightly, closing the distance between them to be at eye level.

"Xixi."

Hearing him call her by her familiar nickname, Song Xi's heart skipped a beat, and she looked up unexpectedly.

In my memory, the man's voice was beautiful, but also deep and cold, cold and indifferent. But at this moment, it was quietly filled with immeasurable warmth.

The walls were like a mysterious and vast curtain, completely isolating them from the outside world, making it impossible for others to penetrate them no matter how hard they tried.

Zhao Yansen grasped Song Xi's icy hand, cupping it in his palm and gently warming it with his body heat. "Why wouldn't I like you?"

His gaze was fixed on her, as if she were the only person he could see. "Song Xi—"

Zhao Yansen's words were like sparks, one after another, scalding hot as they struck her heart, igniting a raging inferno.

"I only love you."

Song Xi was completely stunned.

Her limbs and bones seemed to be instantly restrained, tightly bound to her body, making her unable to react.

From the moment he saw Zhao Yansen appear here, to this moment when he solemnly and firmly told her his feelings.

The unreal feeling in Song Xi's mind became more and more obvious. It was as if her feet were floating on clouds. The sense of illusion overwhelmed her like a flood, and even her eyes began to burn.

Tears streamed down her face uncontrollably, quickly soaking her cheeks.

Her tear-like eyes reflected his gaze, and Zhao Yansen's heart suddenly clenched with pain, his eyes involuntarily turning crimson.

Song Xi shook her head, her voice gradually choking up: "Don't lie to me anymore."

"You just found out I was sick because of you, and you wanted to comfort me and give me charity in this way. If you really liked me, how could you... how could you not believe that I like you at all... You don't like me, you don't trust me, you just want someone."

“When I begged you back then, you were unmoved. I saw it… I saw your cold eyes. When I broke up with you, you didn’t care; when I went abroad and never came back, you didn’t care either… I know I was wrong. Please stop lying to me, don’t punish me like this…”

She could accept that he didn't like her, but she couldn't accept that he lied to her, didn't believe her, or didn't want her.

Song Xi certainly loved Zhao Yansen, but he as a person was more important to her than that love.

That's why she initially regretted saying she didn't need to be with him in order to stay by his side.

What truly caused her psychological problems was not the so-called unrequited love, but the fact that she destroyed their bond with her own hands.

All her knowledge was built upon him.

A magnificent building will collapse if it loses its most important foundation.

What followed was an overwhelming wave of despair that completely overwhelmed her.

He never imagined that Song Xi would have such thoughts, and he couldn't believe that he had caused her so much harm.

Zhao Yansen felt a sharp, invisible blade piercing his internal organs again and again.

He bent down and hugged Song Xi, his arms tightening around her, his warm breath baking her.

“Listen to me. I have never lied to you, nor have I ever disbelieved you.”

“I don’t lack sisters. If I did, any sister from the Zhao or Xiao families would be related to me by blood. But you are different.”

“If you go abroad and don’t plan to go back, I’ll come find you. You know I can always find you.”

"But if you died in that explosion, how would you find me?" Song Xi sobbed, tears streaming down her face. "If you died and crawled out of your grave, it would scare me..."

Recalling the night of the explosion, she was terrified, afraid that he was really dead.

Song Xi cried even harder, and his shirt was soon soaked with tears.

Zhao Yansen's eyelids were red, and a suffocating pain from lack of oxygen enveloped him fiercely.

Song Xi choked up, and after a moment, she raised her hand and hugged her brother's waist.

Zhao Yansen calmed down and his emotions stabilized.

“I almost died then, but I survived so that I could continue to take care of you.”

His voice was low and husky, earnest and calm as he said, "So, Song Xi, please trust me one more time. Okay?"

(End of this chapter)