Fatal Desire

Chapter 129 Breakthrough, Heart Disease

Song Xi learned that Luo Xiao had asked Fu Guanyue for her medical records just as she boarded a plane to the United States.

Fu Guanyue on the other end of the phone was full of apology and worry.

"It's alright." Song Xi said with a smile at the end of her sentence, "My illness can indirectly help you, so it can be considered a good deed."

“You’re optimistic too.” Fu Guanyue looked at the baby in the swaddling clothes, her eyes filled with complex emotions.

Zhou Ji'an has finished his rehabilitation training and can move around normally. He might search the whole world for his ex-wife, but Fu Guanyue can't let the Zhou family know about the child's existence.

Song Xi supported her in using her information to exchange for Zhao Yansen's help in hiding her and her daughter.

“Sister Guan Yue, you’ve helped me a lot. If you need anything, just contact me anytime, or use me. My brother won’t abandon me.” Song Xi looked up, gazing thoughtfully at the top of the plane.

"Okay, then take care," Fu Guanyue said.

“Take care of yourself, don’t make it sound like we’ll never see each other again.” Song Xi laughed lightly. “I’m flying to America today to see Virginia, and I’ll come to Paris to see you after that.”

Fu Guanyue, touched by her words even through the internet, smiled and said, "Then we'll wait for you here."

After chatting for a few minutes, Song Xi hung up the phone, her finger unconsciously tapping into her chat with Zhao Yansen.

Her dark eyes reflected the few remaining chat records as she frowned in thought.

They've been together for a very, very long time.

This gave her the illusion that 'they will be together forever and ever'.

Four years is neither a long nor a short time. But it has proven that they can still live without each other.

Song Xi pressed and held the power button on the side of her phone. The power off option popped up on the screen, and she tapped it with her fingertip to turn it off.

Give yourself a break.

She hadn't had a proper night's sleep alone in a very, very long time.

**
Yanshan Villa.

Luo Xiao gave a clear and organized report, handed the USB drive to Zhao Yansen, and then left the study.

Zhao Yansen held a glass of whiskey in his well-defined hands. Light pierced through the glass and refracted into the ice, creating a cold, misty effect.

A video is playing on the computer screen, and the girl resting on the recliner in the picture is Song Xi.

Fu Guanyue sat to one side, her hand held tightly by Song Xi as if grasping at the only straw.

Song Xi's condition was completely different from what Zhao Yansen had seen in Virginia.

More relaxed, but also more terrified.

Song Xi suddenly opened her eyes, sat up in shock, her clothes were soaked, sweat dripped down her temples, her face was pale, and her usually bright eyes were now empty.

She pressed her hand to her heaving chest and glared fiercely at Fu Guanyue.

"What did you dream about?" Fu Guanyue asked, completely unafraid of Song Xi's fierce gaze.

Song Xi's frantic screams and painful feelings, the strength that had been suppressed in the darkest corner of her body, suddenly poured out.

She covered her face with her hands and broke down in tears. "No... I was wrong... I only made one mistake, and it almost ruined everything..."

“Sister Guanyue, I will never be happy again... I ruined everything... He took care of me for so many years, I shouldn't hate him, but I couldn't control myself. The person I should hate the most is myself... I destroyed everything…”

The girl's sobs and regret were particularly noticeable in the large, quiet study, reaching Zhao Yansen's ears, and he frowned.

Her despair and her pain were like an extremely sharp knife, piercing his heart.

The phone rang again and again.

He didn't answer until the third time.

The person on the other end of the phone got straight to the point: "Mr. Zhao, this is Fu Guanyue. I presume you have already reviewed Song Xi's treatment records."

"Now you should understand why Song Xi refused to confide in her therapist. You meticulously planned everything for her, including her therapist, and she didn't want you to know, much less for you to seek her out out of some so-called sense of responsibility."

During the four years she spent abroad, she suffered greatly for the first six months because you were bedridden for six months, and she didn't even dare to enter the lab. During this time, she kept in touch with me to check on your condition, and only dared to enter the lab after she knew you were out of danger and had woken up safely.

You probably thought the lab explosion and Xu Yi were the causes of her mental illness. Now I'm telling you, neither is true. The person who caused her mental illness is you!
Song Xi was afraid she would become like Xu Yi, hurting you with unrequited love. That's why she kept waiting for you to contact her first, but you didn't. She's right; after you broke off your relationship, you wouldn't contact her again.

Over the years, she suppressed her emotions, trying to appear normal so you wouldn't discover how terminally ill she had become. At the same time, she longed for your return, only to have countless expectations dashed. Her nerves became extremely fragile; she had difficulty sleeping and occasionally suffered auditory hallucinations. You are older than her, you raised her, and you know better than anyone how to destroy her.

Her return to China this time was my suggestion. Because if she doesn't adjust herself, she'll be ruined. I wanted her to come back to China to say a proper goodbye to the past and to you.

Suddenly, the sound of shattering glass hitting the ground came through the receiver.

Seeing that the call was still going on, Fu Guanyue said:
“She used to be so bright and confident, but during the years I treated her, I heard her say every day that she was wrong. Now she is gradually healing herself. If you really care about her, then leave her life. Don’t give her hope only to extinguish it with your own hands. That’s too cruel. No matter how strong she is, she can’t withstand repeated torment.”

Outside, the night was deep and dark, and the towering buildings of Kyoto were scattered with bright and dazzling lights.

The light in the study dimmed without anyone noticing.

The call is over.

A sudden sense of suffocation gripped Zhao Yansen. He sat in the shadows, his bangs obscuring his eyes and eyebrows, his lips pursed in a gloomy expression.

Beneath his skin, every bone and blood vessel seemed to be immersed in cold water, and Zhao Yansen's fingers, hanging at his sides, trembled almost imperceptibly.

Song Xi returned not because she loved him, but because she didn't love him anymore.

No wonder she resisted when he approached her. She only accepted being approached by him when he initiated contact.

Everything is traceable.

That night, when she encountered a thug at the hotel, she would hug his neck, bury her face in his neck, and sob softly.
When the Shanghai Stock Exchange reminisces about the past, she will still hug him tightly, but she will no longer cry;
After the lab explosion was exposed, she stopped approaching him, pressing her forehead against the car window and keeping a distance. She would never have hugged him unless he pulled her into his arms.

So obviously drifting apart...

The computer on the table was still playing a video of Song Xi's psychotherapy session. The screen emitted a faint, cold light, conveying a sense of desperate recklessness.

My body felt like a piece of rusty steel, with all its functions failing at that moment.

Zhao Yansen felt breathless, experiencing fear for the first time.
-
“You guys keep forcing me to take medicine. If I ever become a walking pharmacy, the first person I'll put in is my brother.”
-
"Am I the antidote?"

He is not her cure; he is the root of her illness.

(End of this chapter)