Start telling crosstalk from Tingyunxuan

Chapter 13 Li Jing Visits Japan
The audience below was eagerly waiting, and those who didn't know thought they were listening to a storyteller.

Even when the people on the stage were speaking seriously, the people in the audience really believed it.

Yang Yunsheng took in the expressions of the audience in the front row.

Naturally, he was very proud in his heart.

Yang Yunsheng said, "That's what's written in the history book. It says that after Wu Dalang left the East Gate, he sailed out to sea. As you know, things were very different in the past. It would take about a month or two to sail from the Song Dynasty waters to Fusang. Wu Dalang had no other options. When he was thirsty, he drank rainwater, and when he was hungry, he caught raw fish. This gave rise to the island delicacy of sashimi!"

Li Jing's face was full of emotion: "Sashimi, so this is what it is like!"

Those who have good academic performance and are particularly knowledgeable about history naturally know that Yang Yunsheng is talking nonsense.

Sashimi appeared a long time ago, dating back to the fifth year of King Xuan of Zhou, which was 823 BC!
The "Book of Songs·Xiaoya·June" records the same battle and describes that after returning victoriously, the leading general Yin Jifu hosted a private banquet for Zhang Zhong and other friends, with the main dishes being grilled soft-shelled turtle and sashimi carp slices.

The poem calls it "braised turtle and sashimi of carp".

From this we can see that China had the practice of eating raw fish slices as early as two thousand years ago.

But this is a crosstalk joke after all, and you’d be a fool to take it seriously!

Yang Yunsheng continued, "Anyway, this trip to the island country really shocked me. If perversion is a form of culture, then I can barely understand their perversion."

Li Jing faced the audience and chuckled, "It seems he's a pervert too!"

Yang Yunsheng patted Li Jing on the shoulder and said, "Teacher Li, you don't understand. The perversion I'm talking about is a kind of behavioral perversion they call performance art. It's like they have a delicacy where they take off all their clothes from a clean young girl, put food on her body, and let the diners taste it."

Li Jing's eyes lit up as she asked, "Is there such a good thing?"

Upon hearing this, Yang Yunsheng said, "You see, everyone, we are all pretending to be perverts, but Teacher Li Jing is the real pervert!"

The audience couldn't stop laughing. Who was pretending to be a pervert? We are good people anyway!
Li Jing said unhappily, "Go to hell, I just want to know what you did at that time."

Yang Yunsheng immediately said righteously: "I'm different from them. They use chopsticks to pick up food, but I use my mouth directly!"

The audience's eyes widened in shock.

Instead of chopsticks, use your mouth?
He even said he was pretending to be a pervert. This is the most perverted thing there is.

Li Jing said in disbelief, "Wow, it seems you're not much better!"

Yang Yunsheng stretched out a finger and waved it.

"You don't understand this! I use my mouth to protest because I'm a crosstalk artist! So I'm determined not to use chopsticks and I'm boycotting this rotten culture of theirs."

Li Jing rolled her eyes: "Your boycott is quite thorough!"

Yang Yunsheng said, "I licked it with my mouth. As everyone knows, this dish was placed on a virgin. I accidentally ate a purple black plum!"

The audience was stunned. They were eating vegetables, so why were they eating black plums?
First, the old driver suddenly realized.

They began to whisper and told those around them who didn't understand.

The people nearby pricked up their ears and immediately understood what black plums were.

Many female audience members spat and began to call Yang Yunsheng a scoundrel.

The male audience who already understood were even more curious about what Yang Yunsheng would do next.

After all, perverted men understand!
Upon hearing this, Li Jing couldn't help but say, "This is only in a small theater. If it were on TV, you would definitely be blurred. And if you keep saying that, Ting Yunxuan will be wiped out, and the anti-pornography and anti-pornography police will definitely come to your door."

The audience started to laugh. Indeed, the anti-pornography and anti-illegal publication campaigns didn’t even go to Dongguan anymore, they came specifically to inquire about Yunxuan.

Yang Yunsheng honestly felt that there was nothing wrong with it. After all, small theater performances should feature some ethical jokes and colorful crosstalk. If you want to see standard crosstalk that's not funny, go watch the Spring Festival Gala!
Yang Yunsheng said, "Of course, I understand these perverted performances. What I find most difficult to accept is their etiquette and culture!"

Li Jing: "Oh, you can't even accept etiquette and culture!"

Yang Yunsheng nodded and said, "Of course. Someone as talented as Teacher Li Jing wouldn't understand!"

Li Jing reacted quickly: "Wait a minute, what happened to your mouth? That's called a handsome man, what's the point of calling a bitch? You're just cursing!"

The audience couldn't hold it any longer. Yang Yunsheng's mouth was not just hot!
Obviously, it was intentional.

Yang Yunsheng smiled awkwardly and said, "Teacher Li Jing, please don't be angry! What I meant is that a handsome man like you would not be able to stand going to an island country!"

Li Jing: "I can't stand it, why can't I stand it?"

Yang Yunsheng explained: "So, now Teacher Li Jing, you are no longer Teacher Li Jing!"

"Then who am I?" Li Jing wondered.

Yang Yunsheng said: "Now you are a 90-year-old crosstalk performer, Teacher Li Jing!"

Li Jing suddenly realized: "Oh, I am still Li Jing, but I am already ninety years old."

Yang Yunsheng said, "That's right, in eighteen years, you will be ninety years old!"

Li Jing quickly grabbed Yang Yunsheng and stopped him from continuing.

"I will be ninety years old in eighteen years. Do you know how old I am now?"

Yang Yunsheng spread his hands and said, "How would I know?"

Li Jing complained, "That would take another fifty-eight years before I'm ninety!"

Yang Yunsheng said, "Anyway, that's what it means. When you were ninety years old, you were a famous and highly respected crosstalk artist, and the emperor there sent a letter inviting you to perform crosstalk in the island country."

Li Jing was surprised and said, "The emperor invited me. I am so honored!"

Yang Yunsheng said, "You departed from Beijing Capital International Airport and arrived at Tokyo Airport. A group of people came to greet you at Tokyo Airport, including their Emperor, reporters, and a cheerleading team of women in kimonos."

Li Jing smiled and said, "There's also a cheerleading team!"

Yang Yunsheng said, "The moment their emperor saw you get off the plane, he had the cheerleading team of women in kimonos shout slogans, welcoming Teacher Li Jing to Japan!"

The audience below opened their mouths slightly, looking surprised.

What did they hear just now?
Is this really something that can be said?
But this guy Yang Yunsheng really dares to say anything!

Including those who listened to Yunxuan, it was completely unbelievable.

They have not read this book. Only Yang Yunsheng and Li Jing have read it.

When reviewing the script before, Li Jing was discussing with Yang Yunsheng whether to delete this sentence.

However, Yang Yunsheng rejected it because he felt that this sentence was particularly essential.

Yang Yunsheng raised his hands and shouted, "Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome!"

Li Jing quickly grabbed Yang Yunsheng, with a constipated expression on her face.

(End of this chapter)