The system is very abstract, fortunately I am also.

Chapter 449 One Chicken a Day, the Doctor Envy Me
After sleeping for a few hours, Monday morning arrived.

Nansang Middle School.

Lin Li arrived at the classroom.

According to unofficial historical records, the upcoming Christmas was actually a festival established to celebrate the unification of the Three Kingdoms by the State of Jin.

"Everyone has probably heard the classic Christmas carol 'Jingle Bells,' right?"

"Jin State explodes! Jin State explodes! Jin State on the Wei State!" This song praises the hope that Jin State, which originated from Wei State, will become stronger and stronger in the future and become a sensation throughout the world.

In addition, everyone says "Merry Christmas" to each other during Christmas, right? This translates to "Sima Shi is happy every day," which is also evidence for this unofficial history.

By the way, I still have Sima Shi's QR code for receiving payments. If anyone wants to send him money to wish him a happy holiday around Christmas time in a couple of days, they can contact me.

Bai Bufan's unofficial history segment was present today, and it was clear that it was specially prepared for this week.

"Damn, Christmas is this week too! How about this, everyone send me your gifts when you have time, I've prepared some nice addresses for you!" Yang Bangjie exclaimed.

I'm going to share all sorts of erotic Christmas-themed images when I get home this week!

"So Christmas is a celebration of the State of Wei," Zhou Baowei said, scratching his head in astonishment at his newfound knowledge.
"I always thought Christmas was about celebrating chicken pot, and I always heard the song as 'Chicken pot, chicken pot, passing through my stomach.'"

Zhang Haoyang sighed, feeling somewhat resentful: "If only the Jin Kingdom had been established by Mihoyo. It's a pity that Mihoyo worked so hard and diligently to unify the Three Kingdoms, only to have Sima Shi reap the rewards in the end."

"Damn, using formulas makes solving problems so fast!" Bai Bufan couldn't hold back any longer and immediately gave a thumbs up.

"Even if we apply the formula, it should be the Shu Kingdom's lingering resentment, right? But honestly, the easiest to relate to is the Shu Kingdom. Watching the old version of Romance of the Three Kingdoms, I felt so sad when the Prime Minister said 'Take care,'" Qin Zeyu said with some emotion, followed by some regret.

"What a pity. To be honest, the civil and military officials in Liu Bei's group were not very compatible, which led to their failure in the later stages. If they could have been paired up differently, the results would have been different."

I have an invincible setup in mind:
Zhuge Liang will be paired with Zhao Yun to defend Chengdu, Xu Shu with Guan Yu to defend Jingzhou, and Pang Tong with Zhang Fei to defend Hanzhong. I will be paired with Da Qiao, Xiao Qiao, Diao Chan, Sun Shangxiang, Zhen Ji, Cai Wenji, and Hua Tuo to temporarily reside in Xiaopei in the rear, forming a pincer movement with them. In this way, I believe our great cause can be accomplished.

"What a pity! You were born before I was, and I was born after your kingdom had fallen. I was born at the wrong time."

Qin Zeyu let out a long sigh.

If Zhuge Liang had met a wise ruler like himself, the outcome would certainly have been different.

“I think this configuration is pretty rubbish,” Wang Ze said disdainfully, stepping on Qin Zeyu’s shamelessness, but not killing him. He then changed the subject, “Unless you let me defend Chengdu with Zhuge Liang and Zhao Yun.”

Qin Zeyu: "Okay."

Wang Ze nodded: "Wise ruler, with this in mind, the great cause can indeed be accomplished."

"Hehehe, Zhuge...hehehe, Zhao Yun..."

"Hahahaha, you fucking bastard!!"

"This is too stable, damn it!"

After hearing the "hehehe" part, none of Bai Bufan and the others could help but curse at the two of them.

The classroom was filled with a cheerful atmosphere.

"Breakfast, everyone come and get some." Lin Li weaved among the joking guys in the back row, somewhat out of place as he distributed the breakfasts in his hands.

After receiving their breakfasts, everyone returned to their seats to eat, except for Wang Ze—who chose to eat his breakfast standing up, placing it on the locker.

"Lin Li, what's wrong? Are you on your period?" After returning to his seat, Bai Bufan didn't eat breakfast right away, but looked at Lin Li hesitantly.

Lin Li was acting strangely this morning.

While everyone was joking and laughing, this guy didn't appear until the very end, but he didn't participate at all. His expression was also very indifferent, which made Bai Bufan a little worried.

I have a feeling that Lin Li has encountered some setback, and I wonder if he has any chance of overcoming it.

Upon hearing this, Lin Li gave a slight, unfunny smile, then calmly glanced at Bai Bufan: "Bufan."

"Ok?"

Lin Li: "Did you know? The current world record is held by Johnny Martin, who set it 36 ​​times in 24 hours."

But I believe this is far from the limit of human capability. I have a friend who can achieve his feat in three hours.

Bai Bufan: "☉_☉".

Bai Bufan: "⊙▃⊙?"

Bai Bufan: "(ΩДΩ)!!!"

"Lin Li! Don't do anything rash! Lin Li!!" Bai Bufan gripped Lin Li's shoulders tightly, shaking him violently.
"I understand you want to be a gentleman, but a gentleman's bond is supposed to be as light as water, but it didn't make you bleed!! We need to take things slowly and steadily!! Don't kill the goose that lays the golden eggs!! Lin Li—! You're not going to suddenly explode right next to me today, are you?!"
That's really bad luck!

"Just kidding, not that many times," Lin Li said calmly, still maintaining a serene smile despite being shaken. "But I'm still a little unwell."

One's own health is definitely the primary consideration, and Lin Li will not put the cart before the horse.

However, since obtaining the system, I haven't felt this kind of emptiness in my body for a long time.

"That's good."

Actually, Bai Bufan didn't believe it either.

He himself wasn't without a penis; 36 times in three hours, averaging once every five minutes—that was beyond human capabilities. Immediately, Bai Bufan chose to examine this matter from a more unconventional angle:
"What resources did you find last night that made you go to this extent?"

"Don't keep this to yourself. The essence of the internet is sharing. Be quick and detailed. If it's really great, I'll come to see you tomorrow in your own way."

Bai Bufan was genuinely curious.

It must be great to be able to get Lin Li to drain your resources.

Upon hearing this, Lin Li turned his head, looked out the window, sighed, and remarked:

"Watching pure love stories makes me feel inferior, watching NTR stories makes me feel sorry for them, watching hardcore stories makes me feel nauseous, watching loli stories makes me feel too young, watching mature women makes me feel too old, watching teenage girls makes me feel too ordinary, watching cross-dressing stories makes me feel uninspired, watching futa stories makes me uninterested, watching workplace stories makes me feel even more inferior, watching school stories makes me feel more sentimental, watching isekai stories makes me feel more fantastical about the future. There are no Chinese comics, Korean comics are too bright, Japanese comics are black and white and rigid, white lines are heavily censored, black lines are difficult to see, mosaics affect the overall picture, holy light is hard to imagine, watching outdoors makes me feel cold, watching in bed makes me feel too old-fashioned, watching floors and tables makes me feel too hard, watching dark alleys in the city makes me feel too savory, I dare not watch in public toilets, subways and trams, one-on-one stories make me feel monotonous, one-to-many stories make me feel jealous, many-to-one stories make me feel pitiful, swapping stories make me feel distrustful, group stories make me feel too chaotic... After choosing for a long time, I still silently opened the life insurance."

Bai Bufan, who was standing to the side, was already laughing hysterically.

Oh, it's just a life insurance company. I thought it was Sister Yu.

"What are you two laughing about?" Zhang Haoyang, who was looking for something in the back cabinet, was drawn to the question.

Bai Bufan wanted to repeat it, but found that he hadn't memorized it yet, so he casually replied, "We laugh at Zhou Yu for being unstrategic and Zhuge Liang for lacking wisdom. If I were to use troops, I would ambush them here beforehand. What would they do then!"

Zhang Haoyang: "..."

He couldn't even be bothered to call anyone an idiot.

At this moment, Lin Li suddenly turned his gaze to Zhang Haoyang, regaining some of his energy and no longer looking deadpan, and sincerely asked:
"Haoyang, your Christmas wish isn't to have a little sister, is it?"

Zhang Haoyang is the kind of person who would shout "Sister is the best, loli is the best" in group chats, which is quite possible.

Upon hearing this, Zhang Haoyang took a step back cautiously and looked at Lin Li with surprise, saying, "How old are you? Making Christmas wishes? Birthday wishes and New Year's wishes are enough. Christmas wishes? How childish!"

"As long as you didn't give permission, that's fine." Ignoring Zhang Haoyang's criticism, Lin Li nodded with relief.

Having taken all his belongings, Zhang Haoyang left with a puzzled look on his face.

Bai Bufan stared straight at Lin Li, not believing that Lin Li would ask such a question out of nowhere: "Lin Li, why are you suddenly asking this?"

Knowing that Bai Bufan would definitely get to the bottom of things, Lin Li didn't try to hide anything:

"Last night, to fit the festive mood, besides looking at life insurance products, I also looked at a lot of resources with Christmas themes."

"One of them, tsk tsk."

The story begins with Santa Claus climbing down a chimney to a child's house, opening the stocking at the child's bedside, and discovering that the child's wish was "I want a little sister." Santa Claus is very touched, nods, and then moves to the little boy's mother's room.

Okay, that's all for now. Let's fast forward an hour and a half of the plot.

In the end, the little boy's wish was fulfilled; he really did have a little sister.

Bai Bufan: "(゜▽゜)?"

"Where the hell did this girl come from?! Did she come from a good place? Answer me! Lin Li, answer me!"

"Don't skip any of the intermediate steps!!"

“So,” Lin Li shook his head helplessly, “I’m worried that Hao Yang will also make this mistake and cause disharmony in the family.”

Bai Bufan: "...hesitating."

Bai Bufan gave a thumbs up.

Three seconds later.

"Send me the link to this later. The plot is so plausible, I have to watch it."

"Wandering." After morning reading, the class meeting began.

This week's class meeting naturally focused on the upcoming New Year's Day garden party.

The general plan has been submitted and approved by Xue Jian. This lesson will focus more on enriching the details and making specific arrangements.

For example, during the garden party, someone from each class will definitely need to be in charge to receive guests from other classes.

After some discussion, it was decided that all students in the class would take turns, in groups of seven or eight. Each of the five groups would be responsible for a 40-50 minute time slot in the classroom, and the rest of the time would be free time to explore the park. This way, it would be fair and everyone would have plenty of time to play.

Unfortunately, I don't know why.

When Xue Jian saw the list of members of Lin Li's group, which included "Lin Li, Bai Bufan, Zhou Baowei, Qin Zeyu, Wang Ze, Chen Tianming, Zhang Haoyang, and Yang Bangjie," he told the group leader, Lin Li, to go back and change the list.

Lin Li even suspected that Xue Jian hadn't read the complete list, because it was returned after only 2.5 seconds.

Of course, Xue Jian had legitimate reasons.

His explanation was that some physical work might be needed, and it would be more appropriate to distribute the work relatively evenly among the boys.

Lin Li didn't believe it at all.

However, since Xue Jian stood on the moral high ground and was the homeroom teacher, Lin Li could only helplessly tell the boys to get out and let the class monitor and the others keep an eye on him.

Alas, Xue Jian has brought this upon himself.

……

noon.

After finishing their meal in the cafeteria, the boys, as usual, went to browse the convenience store first.

Apples, which are not even sold in the convenience store on weekdays, appeared this week and were placed in the most prominent position in the supermarket.

There are loose fruits and premium large fruits in small gift boxes. Of course, the price of a single fruit is equivalent to several kilograms at a regular fruit stand.

"Hey, tomorrow's Christmas Eve, Lin Li, Wang Ze, aren't you two going to buy an apple as a gift?" Qin Zeyu noticed this, picked up an apple, and asked the two of them with a sour look on his face.

Chen Tianming: "Why didn't you ask me?"

Qin Zeyu: "Hehe, you're sitting at the same table as me, why should I ask you?"

Chen Tianming raised his middle finger.

"Me? I already bought a snake fruit over the weekend, so I don't need to buy any more." Wang Ze smiled smugly upon hearing this; he had been prepared all along.

"You bought it over the weekend, be careful it doesn't go bad after a few days." Qin Zeyu's eyes were filled with anticipation. "What if Senior Qian gets the apple and shows it to the classmates, and oh dear, it's rotten? Then you're doomed!"

"Heh, don't worry, how could I make such a mistake? Actually, I check every day, and I just confirmed it this morning—the condition is extremely good," Wang Ze said smugly, indicating that he had already considered it.

"I'll do a final check before delivering it tomorrow. If it's really unfortunate that it's broken, I'll just buy another one from the convenience store."

"Okay, I think you're well-prepared."

Seeing that everyone's gaze was then turned to him, Lin Li shrugged and said nonchalantly, "I'm about the same, I already have plans."

Qin Zeyu clicked his tongue twice, feeling even more envious.

Then, Qin Zeyu suddenly stopped, stiffened for a moment, and then turned to Wang Ze with some hesitation: "Wang Ze, did you leave this apple in the dorm?"

"Yeah, what's wrong?" Wang Ze nodded, looking at Qin Zeyu with a puzzled expression, wondering why he suddenly asked this.

Qin Zeyu frowned and slowly stated a possibility: "Baowei left early this noon because he needed to poop... Haoyang chose to eat instant noodles for lunch... If Baowei was bored in the dorm after pooping, he might have gone to visit the dorm next door..."

Before Qin Zeyu could finish speaking, Wang Ze's expression changed drastically.

"Oh no! My elixir!!!"

Damn it, to check on the apples, I didn't even pack my own. I just said, "Send them all, buddy," and Zhou Baowei actually stole some!

Yeah!

That's for Qian Ying!
Don't be a little glutton! Baby—! For—!
Watching Wang Ze dash out of the convenience store at lightning speed, Qin Zeyu smiled with satisfaction.

Now I feel much better.

Haha, it's great not being in a relationship, you don't have to worry about that at all. Wang Ze is probably extremely envious of single people like me right now.

Qin Zeyu looked at Lin Li.

Tsk, Lin Li seems invincible, his defense is so comprehensive, I can't find any weaknesses, it's boring.

After pondering for a moment, Qin Zeyu shook his head helplessly, ignoring Chen Tianming, whom he considered not to be at the same table, and walked towards Bai Bufan, who was still at the table.

"Bufan, it seems we're the only two left to rely on each other. How about we buy some apples and exchange them tomorrow? We can just say they were given to us by a girl, and save face for ourselves."

However, when Qin Zeyu approached with the apple, Bai Bufan suddenly clutched his head, screamed, and backed away: "Take it away! Take it away! Ahhhhh! I'm going to be a doctor! I can't stand apples! Ahhhhh!"

Sometimes studying in Class 4 of the first year of high school can be quite helpless; you have no idea what will happen next with your classmates.

Qin Zeyu's expression froze on the spot.

After a moment, he silently raised his middle finger.

This guy is something else, he doesn't have the life of a doctor, but he has the illness of a doctor, right?

However, a little-known fact is that eating a doctor a day can keep doctors away from you more than eating an apple a day.

Unfortunately, few people in the world understand this principle, and news of people taking medicine is rare.

"Bufan, are you sure you want to be a doctor?" Lin Li glanced at Bai Bufan and asked with a smile as he watched Qin Zeyu put the apple back.

"What's wrong?" Bai Bufan stopped roaring and looked at Lin Li cautiously.

Lin Li smiled slightly: "Don't make a decision rashly. Let me compare them for you first."

"Compare what?"

Lin Li: "Studying medicine and becoming a prostitute."

Bai Bufan: "?"

"How can this be compared?"

Lin Li chuckled softly and said:

"Working as a prostitute, you earn 500 a night or more; studying medicine, you only earn 20 a night. Oh, and if you're doing an internship at a big hospital with limited openings, you'll have to pay out of pocket."

"If you don't want to be a prostitute, you can quit. But if you study medicine, you'll still have to do it even if you don't want to."

"When you're a prostitute, you just send the customers away and that's it. But when you're studying medicine, after you've sent the customers away, you still have to write medical records."

"Working as a prostitute, a session lasts half an hour—or even less if you encounter a customer like Zeyu Tianming, two minutes is enough. But studying medicine means working seven or eight hours or more a night."

"Working as a prostitute means you can go straight to sleep after a night shift, but studying medicine means you have to get asked questions like, 'Doctor, can a patient eat Want Want Shake Shake Jelly Strawberry Flavor?' or 'Doctor, my grandfather seems to have been diagnosed with pregnancy, what should I do?' after a night shift."

Even after being tortured like this, you can't ask them things like, "Are you guys crazy, doing this so late at night?" because they really are crazy, and they'll just reply, "Yes, they are."

"Admittedly, working as a prostitute carries the risk of contracting infectious diseases, but does studying medicine eliminate that risk?"

"Finally, both studying medicine and working as a prostitute have a high probability of ending up in prison, but working as a prostitute usually results in a civil case, which is relatively minor, while studying medicine usually results in a criminal case, which is more serious."

After speaking, Lin Li maintained a serene smile and looked at Bai Bufan:
"That's all I have to say. Figure out the rest yourself."

Bai Bufan: "..."

Sweaty ass buddy.

No wonder Tree Man chose to abandon medicine and pursue literature.

Studying medicine won't save the nation, and it might not even save you.

"Zeyu, go get me two apples." Bai Bufan said firmly as he looked at Qin Zeyu returning.

Qin Zeyu was taken aback: "You're not going to be a doctor anymore?"

Bai Bufan said angrily, "I'd rather be a paramedic than a doctor."

Qin Zeyu: "(；☉_☉)?"

Looking at the laughing Lin Li and Chen Tianming, I realized, damn it, what have I missed?

(End of this chapter)