The system is very abstract, fortunately I am also.

Chapter 439 Perhaps I'm not human, but a pirate website

"Brother Cheng, I appreciate your generosity and understand your good intentions, but there's nothing I can do. My mom has already prepared a meal for me at home, and she's just waiting for me to come back and add it to the bill. It's not that I don't want to do her a favor, it's just that the timing is unfortunate."

Despite Cheng's polite and enthusiastic attitude, Lin Li still declined, and his words were a little more serious than before.

"Alright then." Seeing Lin Li's firm resolve, Xiao Cheng nodded with some regret and watched Lin Li leave.

I'll ask the coach for the guy's contact information later; I can ask him for help another time.

……

noon.

"It's a pity Lin Li didn't want to come. I really wanted to thank him," Xiao Cheng said regretfully as he arrived at a restaurant with Yu Jian'an and Lu Gouguan.

This morning, despite the FLAG (presumably a typo for a license plate), Xiao Cheng successfully passed his driving test (Part 4) and is now just waiting to receive his license.

Upon hearing this, Yu Jian'an and Lu the corrupt official also smiled and echoed his sentiments.

The three of them sat down at their seats in the restaurant.

Without saying anything more to Lin Li, Xiao Cheng waved his hand and said to the two of them with great enthusiasm, "Coach Yu, and Coach Lü, you guys order. I'm easygoing, I can eat anything."

"Old Lu, you can have it then. I don't have any dietary restrictions." Yu Jian'an then handed the menu to Lu the dog official.

Lu, the corrupt official, didn't hold back. Having been frustrated all morning, he needed to unleash the tiger within him.

"Okay, leave it to me!"

"One bottle of Moutai, at least! The biggest abalone here is... let me see, oh, three heads, I feel like I'll need at least three! And some five-year-old fish maw, please..."

Xiao Cheng: "(゜▽゜)?"

Hearing this way of ordering, Xiao Cheng recalled Lin Li's instructions not long ago.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Xiao Cheng took out his phone, glanced at the numbers in his WeChat wallet, and then smiled calmly.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Xiao Cheng simply opened NetEase Cloud Music, selected a song, and started playing it from the climax.

"Come back soon~ I can't bear this alone~ Come back soon~ My life is wonderful because of you~"

"Coach Yu, Coach Lü, you two order first, I'm going out to take this call." Upon hearing the singing, Xiao Cheng immediately stood up and whispered to the two of them.

He then pressed the phone screen, put it to his ear, and walked towards the door while saying, "Hello? Oh, it's me. I'm eating. Did you pass the exam?"

Seeing that Xiao Cheng had already started making a call, Yu Jian'an didn't say anything, but just nodded, made an OK sign with his hand, and then looked down at his own phone.

Two minutes later.

Yu Jian'an's phone vibrated. He glanced at the pop-up message bar and saw that Xiao Cheng had sent him a WeChat message.

Xiao Cheng: "Transfer 88 yuan"

Huh? Why did you suddenly transfer money to me?

Oh, got it.

Yu Jian'an: Xiao Cheng, why did you suddenly transfer money to me? Is it an extra red envelope? Haha~

"Xiao Cheng has enabled friend verification. You are not yet his/her friend. Please send a friend request first. You can chat after the other party accepts the request."

Yu Jian'an: "(；☉_☉)?"

Eh.

It seems like I've been deleted?
Silence, silence, silence is Cambridge tonight.

When Yu Jian'an realized what was happening and mechanically turned his head, the corrupt official Lü beside him was still muttering excitedly:

"I'm off! Out-of-season, roe-filled hairy crabs! Wow, never tried them before! I have to get a couple! And wow, wild yellow croaker, the biggest one ever! People would think we couldn't afford it! Come on..."

Yu Jian'an: "(゜▽゜)?"

Buhao! Old Lu knows his home address and recognizes his family and friends, so it seems he can't run away like Xiao Cheng!
Yu Jian'an took a deep breath—

"Yeah!!!"

"Old Lu, stop the hell out of here! There's an urgent matter that needs to be addressed, we have to pause right now!"

"Old man—! Lu—!"

"Xiao Cheng! That corrupt official and I were just joking with you! I'll treat him to his meal!! Come back! Come back!"

Come back soon~ I can't bear this alone~ Come back soon~ My life is wonderful because of you~
……

After going downstairs and throwing the finished takeout into the community's trash can, Lin Li looked at his phone with some confusion.

Xiao Cheng, who added me on WeChat this morning, just sent me a very strange message:

Xiao Cheng: I'm sorry, bro, I didn't understand your deeper meaning again. I'm still too stupid.

What is this kid babbling about?

Has Xiao Cheng gone mad after passing the imperial examination?

Lin Li didn't bother to investigate further, gave a perfunctory reply, and then rode his bike to school.

The school gate was wide open, and the fountain was even working today, which is quite rare.

I guess I'll see the fountain again on the first day of the next semester. No, I might not even be working on that day, since there won't be any new students.

There were quite a few students coming and going at the school gate, but they were all wearing Nansang school uniforms.

It's not that many first- and second-year high school students participated in this competition; most of them are third-year students—they should be going to school now.

The exam officially starts at 2:30 pm, so students from both inside and outside the school who are participating in the competition don't need to come that early.

Lin Li didn't linger at the teaching building or the entrance; he went straight to the boys' dormitory.

The adopted son, Chen Tianming, needs himself.

As for Chen Yuying, perhaps because Zhongdeng knew that his daughter was the only girl on the Class 4 competition list, and that Lin Li, a dangerous creature, was on the boys' list, he decided to scout out the time to bring his daughter to school today.

He even planned to pick Chen Yuying up after the exam, take her home for dinner, and then send her back to school.

Tsk tsk, don't they find it troublesome?

As if afraid that if he didn't come to pick her up, Chen Yuying would have dinner alone with some boy that night, Lin Li thought it was impossible and was just worrying unnecessarily.

If Zhongdeng doesn't mind, Lin Li is willing to waste an entire dinner time to keep an eye on Chen Yuying to ensure that she is under surveillance and that there are no scenes of her eating alone with any boys.

However, considering that China Securities would most likely mind, Lin Li did not volunteer himself.

Alas, the hearts of fathers are always full of love and worry.

"Knock knock knock." Upon arriving at Class 4's dormitory, Lin Li knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Bai Bufan's voice came from behind.

"I'm selling eggs," Lin Li replied.

"What eggs?" Footsteps and Chen Tianming's laughter and curses came from inside the dormitory.

"Haven't you heard Jia Qianqian's poem 'Entering the City'?"

"A city the size of a palm, a gate two fingers wide, the soy milk deliveryman has already gone in, the egg seller is knocking on the door."

When Chen Tianming opened the door, Lin Li walked in with his hands behind his back, and began to recite poetry leisurely, his tone rising and falling.

Surprisingly, not only Chen Tianming and Bai Bufan were in the dormitory, but Wang Ze, who was supposed to have not stayed on campus this week, was also there, lying on the lower bunk below Zhou Baowei.

Chen Tianming: "What poem are you sending?"

Wang Ze: "Lin Li, are there any cities where you can only enter through the back gate? A friend of mine asked me to ask him about it."

"What a wonderful poem! What a wonderful poem! Lin Li, what a wonderful poem you wrote!"

Bai Bufan, who had been lying on the upper bunk playing on his phone, sat up straight, looking at Lin Li with admiration. His expression of admiration was completely different from that of the two uncouth men:

"The city is as small as a palm" sounds small, but it highlights the initial pressure and sense of oppression that big cities bring to newcomers—the buildings are tall and the roads are wide, but the personal space and psychological sense of belonging are extremely narrow; "the door is only two fingers wide" is even more vivid. It is not just a physical door, but more like a threshold, symbolizing how difficult it is to integrate into a new environment and gain recognition.

The following two lines use an ordinary scene to subtly illustrate the disparities in reality: some have barely squeezed into the cracks of city life and found their place, while others are still striving, waiting for a chance to be accepted. These aren't just two types of street vendors; they are clearly a microcosm of people at different stages of urban life!
This poem replaces grand narratives with a montage of fragmented life experiences. Through this seemingly ordinary and straightforward writing, it achieves a sharp and penetrating insight into the essence of reality. Brilliant, truly brilliant!

Lin Li's eyes lit up: "Extraordinary! No one understands poetry better than you! Only you have seen through the profound meaning behind this poem!"

Then Lin Li glanced at Chen Tianming and Wang Ze, his voice instantly turning disdainful: "Unlike some people, who are vulgar and speak in a crude manner."

Chen Tianming and Wang Ze: "..."

Wang Ze gave Lin Li the middle finger, while Chen Tianming, sitting in his seat, looked at Bai Bufan on the upper bunk and chuckled, "I'm cursing!"
"Bufan, you're quite the storyteller, aren't you? With your analytical skills, reading comprehension and classical poetry should be a piece of cake for you. How come your Chinese scores are always so low?"

“You wouldn’t understand,” Bai Bufan said, shaking his head. “After my research, I discovered that my brain is basically a pirated website.”

"It's incredibly laggy to use. It takes forever to load even a single sentence, and memorizing just two words is even more difficult. The server keeps crashing with 404 errors, and if you're even slightly distracted, you're likely to accidentally click on those yellow pop-up ads."

"But it's only when I click on these pornographic ads that my brain is triggered by the underlying code that it truly starts working! After all, pirate websites exist precisely for this moment!"

Chen Tianming: "...Reasonable."

For a moment, Chen Tianming felt he couldn't refute it.

If you replace the pornographic ad with a Qiaoqiao ad, believe it or not, this theory even applies to one's own mind. "Wang Ze, what are you doing here?" Lin Li looked at Wang Ze.

"Let's go see a movie together this afternoon when Qian Ying comes," Wang Ze chuckled.

"There are security cameras in the movie theater, so you'd better be careful. Don't wear your school uniform. I've earned a lot of face for Nansang Middle School outside of school, and I don't want someone like you to ruin it," Lin Li reminded him.

"What are you babbling about?" Wang Ze laughed and scolded. "Just watching a movie. What's with all this talk about surveillance? Surely no one would be shameless enough to kiss or do *that* in a movie theater. I despise people like that the most."

Lin Li: “(〝▼ dishes▼)! "

For some reason, Lin Li suddenly felt a bit of dislike for Wang Ze.

Lin Li believes that judging others in this way is too arbitrary.

"Good ambition, Wang Ze. Can you make an oath?" At this moment, Bai Bufan poked his head out from the upper bunk and asked Wang Ze on the lower bunk:
“I’ve already thought of the oath. If you ever do this, you will marry the female graduate student from Wuhan University. After the marriage, all the property will be considered joint property, and in the event of a divorce, it will be decided by a female judge.”

Wang Ze: "(；☉_☉)?"

Lin Li: "()!"

Amazing, my mouth double!
Wang Ze scratched his head, opened his mouth, but ultimately couldn't speak.

Damn it, I can't say it. This oath is just too cruel.

Wang Ze felt he hadn't committed such a crime.

"On another note..." Wang Ze could only chuckle.

Seeing Wang Ze's reaction, Bai Bufan chuckled, then ignored him and looked at Lin Li, asking with some curiosity:

"Lin Li, have you gotten your driver's license yet? Let me see it; I've never seen what a driver's license looks like before."

“When a guy like me makes a move, does he ever fail? I already have an electronic driver’s license, and I’ll have a runner pick up the physical one for me tomorrow,” Lin Li shrugged confidently and arrogantly. “You guys better respect me from now on. I’m a licensed driver now, and driving isn’t illegal.”

"Then can you replace Bangjie as the more powerful lewd guy in the group?"

"I'm too lazy to move every day."

"Then get out of here, you piece of trash."

"Ahem, but I've specially prepared a juicy adult topic for today," Lin Li, feeling scorned, squinted and rubbed his hands together like a fly, deliberately lowering his voice to save face.
"Gentlemen, would you like to have a chat with me?"

"Oh, tell me more." Bai Bufan and Wang Ze immediately sat up straight, their eyes even more devout than Father Qiu's before the holy water yesterday.

"I'm not interested." Chen Tianming, who was determined to uphold the duties of a husband for Yao Qiaoqiao, naturally waved his hand.

Of course, since everyone was in the same room, if their conversation got into his ears, he couldn't stop them, so he couldn't blame himself.

Qiaoqiao will understand.

Lin Li didn't mind, and lowered his voice further, bringing up the first adult topic he had discussed with everyone after getting his driver's license:
"Guess what the minimum wage is in Nansang right now?"

Bai Bufan: "Holy crap, this is too explosive!"

Wang Ze: "Holy crap, that's way too mature!"

Chen Tianming: "Holy crap, this is way too much of a topic!"

"So how much is it?" Wang Ze asked curiously.

Boys' curiosity is often inexplicably drawn to other things, and even lecherous people would admit defeat at this time.

“Hmph,” Lin Li said, keeping everyone in suspense, “Let me just say this: young people’s salaries are already lower than some parking spaces.”

"Damn!" Bai Bufan couldn't hold back any longer. Lin Li's words were really too hurtful.

"I bought a car to go to work, worked like a slave all day, even putting in four hours of overtime, only to find out when I went downstairs that I hadn't even earned enough to pay for parking. It felt like the sky was falling!"

Bai Bufan couldn't help but laugh more as he described it.

This scene is too difficult to maintain.

Car owners should stop parking in parking lots. Instead, they can illegally park on the roadside, hire someone to stay in the car, and when the traffic police come, they can say they only parked for a minute and then immediately drive to another place to illegally park again. This way, car owners can save on parking fees, and young people can make easy money. It's like Qin Shi Huang becoming a masochist – a sure win!
Wang Ze raised his hand: "I'm a keyboard warrior pretending to be a pro, and right now I'll comment 'Trust our mom!'"

Lin Li raised his hand: "Then I'm a purebred keyboard warrior, and at this moment I will comment 'I only have one mother' under your comment."

Bai Bufan raised his hand: "Then I am Bai Bufan, and I will comment under your comment, 'One? That's not enough for me to kill in a day, let's get a few more virtual moms wholesale.'"

Chen Tianming raised his hand: "Lin Li, I don't know how to do this question. After you kill Bai Bufan, can you take a look at it for me?"

"Wang Ze, you take care of him for me. Don't forget you still owe me a favor. I'm going to help Tianming solve his problem." Lin Li walked towards Chen Tianming's location, kicking Wang Ze in the shin as he passed by, and ordered.

"Received!" Wang Ze immediately climbed onto Bai Bufan's bed with great enthusiasm, chanting as he climbed: "At first I thought Bufan was just average, but after spending more time with her, I found that she was actually quite charming, and slowly a different feeling arose in my heart."

Judging from Wang Ze's expression, he was full of enthusiasm.

"Damn it! No! Get out of here! (ノ｀Д)ノ!!" Bai Bufan laughed as he protected his chastity.

However, knowing that Chen Tianming wanted to study, the two of them quickly quieted down, even though they looked down on the act of studying.

Only after Lin Li's "After-School Student Guidance" ended, and Chen Tianming uttered a sound of sudden realization, did the two voices resume:
Wang Ze: "Bufan, do you want to see B?"

Bai Bufan: "I want to."

Wang Ze: "Do you know how to use a handgun?"

Bai Bufan: Yes.

Wang Ze: "I'll give you my Desert Eagle, I'll go guard A."

Bai Bufan: "OK".

Lin Li and Chen Tianming: "?"

……

"OK, my senior is coming soon, Bufan. I suppose you're tired of my body too. I'm leaving now."

As it approached two o'clock, Wang Ze, who was on Bai Bufan's bed, glanced at the messages on his phone, jumped off, and quickly put on his shoes, seemingly oblivious to everyone around him.

"Should we go over now, or what?" Chen Tianming glanced at his phone and turned to Lin Li to ask.

"Let's go then." Lin Li nodded. It was indeed about time, so it wouldn't hurt to go earlier.

The two then got up and began packing their things.

"Bufan, your father and your brother Tianming have something to do. You need to stay in your room and be good. Don't cry."

Noticing that Bai Bufan on the upper bunk was looking down at him with a "busy, busy, busy everyone be busy" expression, Lin Li looked up at Bai Bufan and said:
"Don't open the door if strangers come. If you're hungry, there's food in the toilet. If you're thirsty, there's drink in the toilet. If you're bored, there's something to play with in the toilet. If you need to use the toilet, you can go to Baowei's bed. In short, you have to make things easy for Dad and Brother Tianming, understand?"

"Get lost," Bai Bufan said with a laugh. "It's good that you're all gone. If I'm left alone, I can play happily with my children."

Bai Bufan understands the art of language.

His child seems to be a bit clingy.

"You're probably the only one who's happy, because the artifact 'Paper from Lu State' will reappear today." Lin Li shook his head, fiddling with the wall as he spoke with a smile.

"Filial piety is paramount; they will understand me," Bai Bufan replied with a smile.

"Alright, I'm leaving, bye-bye!" Lin Li waved and walked towards the door, while Chen Tianming glanced at the wall in surprise, but followed Lin Li out.

"Bye-Bye."

With a click, the dormitory door closed, and the room fell silent after the commotion, with only Bai Bufan's breathing remaining.

Bai Bufan, deciding to wash up and then continue playing on his phone, jumped out of bed and walked towards the balcony, humming a song as he went:

"I'm a cashier~ I'm very skilled at cashiering~ I work from morning till night~ Cashiering is my daily routine~"

"Congratulations to me so much—I found a great job—my future life—will be spent working as a cashier—"

"I am--"

"..."

Bai Bufan's cashier's song came to an abrupt end, and he frowned.

He suddenly noticed that there seemed to be something extra in the dormitory.

And he was quite familiar with this thing.

After all, I had seen, touched, and used it when I was catching food delivery thieves.

Bai Bufan took two steps forward, his lips twitching slightly as he stared at the camera lens of this thing, and asked with a cold smile:

"Damn it, Lin Li, what's the meaning of leaving a surveillance camera in the dorm before you get out?"

"..."

"..."

The camera, of course, couldn't speak, but suddenly, a song drifted from outside the door—

Lin Li: "I'm a cashier~"

Chen Tianming: "My cashier skills are top-notch!"

Wang Ze: "From morning till night as a cashier~"

The three of them sang together: "Being a cashier is my daily routine—"

(End of this chapter)