I am an emotional anchor, one sentence can break the defense of the whole network

Chapter 195: One is a love-minded person, the other is a career-minded person
Lin Feng: "And buddy, you made a mistake. A girl like this is actually very independent during the relationship.

Because she knew exactly what she wanted, she suffered a lot for her life.

What you did was completely different from her perspective.
Although your family conditions are not good, you are not as independent as her, nor do you have her hardworking spirit.

In it,

Not only do you not work hard yourself, you don’t even try to empathize with the other person’s thoughts.”

Boy: “Can you please listen to me?”

Lin Feng shrugged: "Okay, go ahead."

Boy: "We dated for three years, but we moved out after only six months.
Because she had severe depression when we were dating, and I stayed with her the whole time. We started dating half a year ago and have been doing this till now.
I admit that I don't like studying, but I don't think I'm not making progress.
Because I am the one who does all the cooking, laundry and housework at home.
We opened a Taobao store together. She only opened one store, and I was the one running everything in that store.

In fact, every time she said I was not motivated, I felt wronged, because as a Taobao store, I have to reply to messages 24 hours a day, and I am working hard.”

Lin Feng was amused: "Brother, you just said a lot, isn't it just proving that what I just said is right?

The lack of progress here does not mean that you work hard.

What she wants to see is the actual wealth value.

It's not how many meals you cook, or how much housework you do.

You said your Taobao store responds within 24 hours.

I just want to ask you one question.

Did you make any money?

The boy was silent.

Lin Feng asked again: "In every quarrel between you in the past, have you ever expressed your efforts and grievances like you did today? And has the other party ever asked you in return like I just did, 'Have you made money?'"

The boy was silent again.

look!

Lin Feng knocked on the blackboard: "This is the problem, man, people don't care about the process, they only care about the result.

You said you have no ability to earn money.

You are still arguing about who pays more and who pays less. That is not the key to the problem at all, do you understand?

What is the crux of the problem?
You can't meet the other party's core needs.

So what are her core needs?
I either find someone who can change the trajectory of my life and my destiny,

Or my significant other is very capable.

This ability is the ability to make money.

It doesn't mean that you just need to be like a housewife and do your housework.

Do you understand what I mean?"

Boy: "Why is she with me?"

Raymond Lam: "Because you were a campus romance, and she had no other choice at the time,
When you talk about severe depression, you are the one who has to deal with it.

Who else would dare to hire her?

Yes,
That's right.

You accompanied her through the most difficult times.

But this doesn't mean that others have to spend their whole life with you.

Your consideration only meets her temporary needs.

Now he has recovered from his illness and found a decent job.

The core needs that people value now.

Look buddy,

I have told you so much, but you are still immersed in your own efforts.

That's what I just said, you can't think about the current situation from her perspective.

You are always trapped in your own logic and you cannot empathize with her.

to be honest,
One of you is love-minded, and the other is career-minded.

One is idealistic, the other is realistic.

You are from two completely different worlds."

. . . .

On the barrage.

Love Brain and Career Brain

Xiao Wan: "Military Advisor, what you said is very good."

Yaoyao: "One talks about love, the other talks about bread."

Tangtang: "I am career-oriented and he is family-oriented, so we are still unable to get married after dating for 5 years."

July: "What should I do if I am both ambitious and in love (crying to death)."

The stream flows: "That's great, it means you can do two things at the same time, which means you are super smart."

I was encouraged.

What a gentle interpretation.

. . . .

Boy: “Since this month, I noticed that she was chatting with her boss in a very ambiguous way, calling him baby or darling.

This is the bottom line in my mind, the kind of situation that cannot be accepted.

But she told me that that's how they call each other in their company and among the students, just as a joke.

I said okay, I believed it.

She often told me at home that she was sorry that she didn’t have time to accompany me.
But she can talk to her boss on the phone until 2 a.m.

I was very angry. I came out at one o'clock and looked at her. She also sensed my anger, so she came over and looked at me.
Then I ignored her out of spite and sat outside playing games.

As a result, she went back into the room and called that person.

In fact, these things are like a thorn in my heart.

But I feel like I can't leave her.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was that we actually talked a lot that day until three or four in the morning.
She had the next day off and originally said she would stay at home with me.

She suddenly said she was very busy at work, and I agreed.

Because I have a spare phone that she used before,

I was just about to use my phone to order takeout.
I accidentally saw her taxi record, and she didn't go to the company at all.

Then I sent her a message and asked her what she was doing.
I questioned her and she said she had gone out to eat with her boss.

I rely on,

I felt like the sky was falling.

Why did she lie to me?
In fact, I have been asking her, whether you are cheating mentally or physically,
She kept telling me with assurance and certainty that she had not.
In fact, deep down in my heart, I also believe that she didn't.
But I can't find a reason, why did she cheat on me?"

Raymond Lam: "You can't find a reason, right? Okay, I'll give you a reason, let's talk about it..."

"Wait a minute, Military Advisor, I haven't finished yet."

Lin Feng: "Fuck! Anything else? Okay, keep talking."

"The next day, I was about to move my things back, but she came back to me in the evening and said she would definitely treat me well.

I felt very uncomfortable at the time, so I said I would go back and rest for two days.

But after I went back and thought about it for two days, I couldn't stop missing him and wanted to come back, so I called her and asked her, "Can you tell me everything in the future and treat me as your only one?" Something like that.

But the day before yesterday, she told me that she couldn't do that, that she wouldn't be herself. Then I felt like after three years of dating, I got nothing in return for her sincerity.

But after I calmed down, I started to think about whether I was too harsh on her that day, because I yelled at her that day, and I started to blame myself. "

stop stop stop!
Stop talking about Feiyangyang.

Lin Feng raised his hand to interrupt, “You just want a reason, I’ll give it to you.

What do we mean by the ugliness of human nature?
The ugliness of human nature is that when someone looks down on you from the bottom of their heart, no matter how hard you try,
No matter how much compensation you make,

No matter how much sacrifice you make,

You are careful,
You still can't get the other person's love back, because she no longer likes you.

This is actually a value assessment for you.

When she is in a high position, when facing you, she will not feel that you love her because of what you do.
She couldn't feel it.

So what did she feel?

For example, if you cook a meal for me, as long as I eat it, I am giving you face.

This is a reward from those in higher positions to those in lower positions.

You're still talking about how hard-working you are at cooking.

Funny.

In her eyes, all your efforts and confessions are just begging from her.
Begging, look at me, you see I have been good enough to you, just love me.

But in fact, she has been looking down on you and despising you from the very beginning, do you understand?
You are not the one she needs most.”

Boy: “But…”

stop!
Don't interrupt the hot sheep

Hear me out.

Raymond Lam: "Because if you don't figure everything out today, you will even blame yourself, and you will think that it was because I yelled at her.
Or maybe I didn't control my emotions when I expressed them, which led to her treating me like this today.

neither!
In fact, the other party has been making do.

Don't expect me to do anything to impress you.

Not moved.

Because the location is different.

She is looking down.

So no matter how much you change, it will only make her look down on you. Her kindness to you is a charity, while your kindness is more like begging. "

Boy: “But why?”

Raymond Lam: "How can there be so many things in this world? Bro, can you win 500 million by buying a lottery ticket?

You can’t win.

So when we feel that a relationship has deteriorated, we must learn to turn around and walk away.

Instead of asking why the other person treats me like this.

To put it bluntly, you are now using a self-abuse method to create a false appearance of infatuation.

Standing at the highest point of morality to gain a perverted sense of satisfaction and security,

The fact is that you don't meet what the other person wants.

It has nothing to do with whether you work hard or not.

Am I being frank enough?"

The boy was silent for a while and then said, "I understand. Actually, I connected with you just to get the real answer."

Raymond Lam: "So respect her. Everyone has different needs and choices. You have your sunny path, and I walk mine. If others want to walk that path, just respect them."

Boy: “But why didn’t she say anything?”

Raymond Lam: "Brother, no one wants to be the bad guy in a relationship, no one wants to be the one who betrays first.

Everyone is the same,
When it's time to break up,
They must be trying to shift the blame in order to alleviate their guilt.”

Boy: "But even if I broke up with her, she would still come to me."

Lin Feng was speechless: "No, buddy, I've been talking for a long time and you still don't understand?

It's not a question of whether she loves you or not.

It is a value trade-off between stage needs and core needs.

It's not that she has no feelings for you, she just thinks you are not the best choice for her after weighing it.
But there must be some emotion involved.

After all, it’s been three years.

She is not blind, nor is she a robot. She can feel that you cooking and doing housework is good for her.

She must know this.

But this alone is not enough for her to completely entrust herself to you.

Of course, you shouldn't be too optimistic and say that she still loves me.

I said, if a person's core needs are not met.

These days are not peaceful.

Once her boss shows crazy interest in her, or if someone better appears around her.

She must still be weighing it in her mind.

At that time,
There is a high probability that you will be forced out.

And what is the most important thing now?
You two have broken up!
I don’t even give you the fantasy anymore, bro.”

Boy: "But these days..."

Raymond Lam: "Dude, you're already trying to act like a spoiled brat to me, you're just like a little sissy,
You have no charm or attraction in front of women like this.

When I fall in love, I’m looking for a man who can protect me and stand tall, not a little kid who can only act coquettishly and cry to me.

I'm looking for a boyfriend who can protect me from the wind and rain, not someone like you now."

Boy: “I understand.”

I understand your sister!
Raymond Lam: "Can you be a little more manly?"

"Uh-huh."

I rely on!

Lin Feng: "If you keep humming, I'll slap you in the face. Speak with your breath down, okay?"

"Okay, okay, I'll leave tomorrow."

Not bro,

You are born with receptors!

Can you please not sound so coquettish when you speak?
You are a bit manly.

Lin Feng: "Do it again, I'll teach you, sink the qi into your dantian, hehehehehehe, do it five times."

"Hey scare hey scare hey scare."

Fuck me.

Lin Feng turned around and said, "I can't teach you this, Brother Shui, you do it."

Yu Huanshui held his eyes and moved closer to the screen: "Brother, your voice is stuck in your throat. Come on, learn from me."

Yu Huanshui turned sideways to the camera.

"Come on, little brother. Stick your butt out, tilt your head forward, put your hands on your stomach, and use your lungs. Hey, hey, hey, hey."

puff~
Lin Feng just picked up the cup and took a sip of water, then turned around and saw Yu Huanshui's enchanting figure, and burst out laughing.

I'll fuck you.

. . . . .

On the barrage.

Xiao Wan: "Brother Shui is so funny, hahaha."

Yaoyao: "I told you to be more manly, not more naughty (laughing to death)."

Mr. Xu: "The battle between male and female is invincible (I give in)."

Stranger: "Brother Butt (dog head)."

Mi Li: "I slapped my partner on the butt, and the sound-controlled lights in the entire building turned on (smile)."

The stream flows: "So... are you stronger, or does he have hemorrhoids (sunglasses)?"

puff~
Hahahahaha.

(End of this chapter)