Hogwarts: I really don't want to be a wizard

The day he received his Hogwarts acceptance letter, Mike Gretel knew his dream of becoming a business tycoon was about to be shattered.
The first step was to escape Great Britain and go to the New World, where a commercial empire would rise and the Greta family would become strong evidence of British legitimacy in America.
Until, a smiling Dumbledore said, "Hello, Mr. MacGregor, would you mind if we talked somewhere else?"
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Mike Gretel, holding an expired ticket: "So, esteemed headmaster, when will you reimburse me for the New World ticket?"

PS: Severe OOC warning

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