Unparalleled Double Harmony

Chapter 533: Clown War (Part )

In 17th century Romania, there were basically no public toilets as we modern people understand them.

In other words... there is not even the concept of "public health".

Even in cities like Bucharest and Iasi you won't find a large-scale sewer system, so don't expect similar facilities in Targu Seques.

Now someone must be asking - how did people at that time solve the toilet problem?

There are actually two ways...

The first type is a private toilet.

Generally speaking, private toilets are only found in the mansions of the upper class or in the territories of religious groups; didn't our former clerk have a member of the Order of the Rings who was knocked unconscious by Brother Sun on the way to the toilet? From that paragraph, we can see that at least in the headquarters of the Order of the Rings there is a place for people to use the toilet.

Then the second type is the one that ordinary people come into contact with most often: the wild toilet.

For example, in a remote, open-air, but slightly sheltered place, there is a pit...

For example, by the river, in the fields, or even on the street... just use your imagination. As long as you open your mind, there are no toilets in the world, or there are toilets everywhere.

But... today there is actually a "public toilet" within the performance venue.

Of course this is reasonable, because after the audience has their tickets cut in and enters the venue, they cannot leave at will. So if someone suddenly wants to relieve themselves, they can't just do it in the stands, right?

To take a step back, even if he really dared to solve the problem on the spot with some people, there were still many local gentry coming to watch the performance, and they would not allow others to do so in front of them.

So, Sun Huang came up with another very unethical idea around this point...

Not only did they set up toilets in the venue, they also divided the toilets into "free general toilets" and "paid VIP toilets."

Have you ever played those "free online games"? The current routine is similar...

Free users may not seem to bring you any benefits, but in fact, it is precisely because of the existence of the "choice" of free that you can justifiably raise the VIP fees to an outrageous level and make a lot of money from those noble lords.

Of course, this is not the worst of them. If they were a little more immoral, it would be like this... The toilets are free for everyone to enter, but toilet paper is charged separately.

And if you want to be even more unethical... you have to turn the toilet paper into a lottery system. For example, you pay one dollar to draw one, and there is a 99% chance that you will draw sandpaper or someone else's used paper. Then, after N draws, there will be a guaranteed one... Everyone understands this, so I won't elaborate.

In short, the toilets in the performance venue today are divided into a relatively "luxurious" VIP room with fewer squatting positions, which is very similar to our modern public toilets, and a free room with a larger space, more squatting positions and is more crowded.

At this moment, Huang Donglai was in a cubicle in the VIP toilet.

As a member of the circus management, he naturally didn't need to pay to use the toilet, but how he got in is not the focus of our discussion.

The problem Huang is facing now is how to get out.

At the moment, apart from the clown wig on his head, he was only wearing a long-sleeved linen top on his upper body, and nothing on his lower body.

The loose clown overalls he had been wearing outside had now been taken off and hung on a hook on the inside of the cubicle that was used to hang coats.

Moreover, the inside of the overalls was still emitting some smell.

As for his underpants, since they were "so contaminated that they could not be washed", he simply threw them into the pit below.

In other words, he couldn't go out because he had no pants to wear.

So how did he get into this predicament?
This matter is not complicated to explain...Everyone has sneezed, right?
You all have life experience, so let me tell you a little piece of knowledge which is unlikely to happen, but which many people should have experienced personally - if a person farts at the same time as sneezing, the fart will become extremely explosive, and sometimes the speed of the fart will even be so fast that it will make a part of the human body feel hot and burning.

So, when this extremely rare event happens to a person whose stomach is not in good condition on weekdays, it is very likely that a more serious situation will occur...

Tonight, Huang Donglai happened to encounter this situation before the performance, on his way to the toilet, and two seconds before entering the cubicle.

The good news is that there was no one else in the toilet at the time, and he had already cleaned himself with wet paper.

The bad news was that since no one had come in during this period, he couldn't get anyone to help him get a pair of pants even if he wanted to.

Someone may say, why doesn’t he just go to the door and ask the brother who is responsible for guarding this "VIP toilet" for help?
However, this also has difficulties... Due to the building structure, area divisions, and the reason of "not wanting the brothers in the group to smell the bad smell all the time", outside the door of this "VIP men's restroom" is a rather long corridor, and the brothers in charge of guarding it are stationed at the other end of the corridor, away from the toilet.

If Huang Donglai wanted to ask that person for help, he would have to walk through the corridor naked. If other "guests" happened to come from the opposite direction during this period, he would have no place to hide.

So if he wants to ask for help, he needs to take certain risks.

Besides, instead of going through the corridor to find someone to help, why not wait here until someone who is also a member of the circus comes here to use the restroom, and then ask that person to help get a pair of pants? There are so many members in their circus, and "their own people" can use this VIP restroom for free, so it shouldn't take too long.

So he waited here for more than ten minutes. During this time, three or two people came, but unfortunately they were all wealthy people in the city. He observed through the crack in the compartment door and found that they were all outsiders, so he didn't dare to speak.

Another five minutes later, finally... an acquaintance came.

"Brother Huang! Are you in there?" Sun Yixie hadn't seen Huang Dong coming for a long time outside, so his first reaction was to go to the toilet to look for him. He didn't care whether there were other people there or not. He pushed open the toilet door and shouted at the top of his lungs.

"I'm here, I'm here." Huang Donglai in the cubicle also responded twice immediately.

"Fuck... the show is about to start, are you ready?" Sun Yixie urged after hearing that.

"Well... I think I have a stomachache. I guess I'll have to stay in the hospital for a while. How about you take care of it by yourself for a while after the show starts?" Huang Donglai just made up an excuse that even Brother Sun couldn't tell was fake.

What? You asked him why he didn't ask Sun Yixie for help at this time?

Is this something Sun Yixie should know? If he knew, wouldn't he be laughed at for the rest of his life?

Although these two guys have countless materials that can make fun of each other for the rest of their lives, who would be willing to let the other know one more thing? Moreover, this matter is also a heavyweight among Huang Donglai's numerous embarrassing deeds.

"Oh... Okay, okay, then hurry up." Sun Yixie didn't think much about it. He just responded casually and left.

Anyway, these two "clowns" don't have to perform any fixed program. They just improvise on the side. So as long as the performance is acceptable, it really doesn't matter if there is one more or one less.

Huang Donglai heaved a sigh of relief only after he confirmed with his ears that the other party had gone far away. Then he muttered to himself, "What kind of day is today? This is really unlucky..."

As he was muttering, he heard another burst of hurried footsteps passing through the corridor, and then heard someone open the door of this toilet, and then opened the door of the cubicle next to Huang Donglai...

A few seconds later, accompanied by a crackling sound, the guy next door let out a hearty groan of "Ah——".

Since the man came in running, Huang Donglai did not have time to open the door of the compartment and peek at him, so he did not know whether the man was a member of the circus or an outsider.

But as a martial arts master, Huang Donglai has other ways to quietly determine the other party's identity...

The next second, Huang Donglai jumped up on the spot and fell down silently. During this "up and down" process, he successfully glanced at the top of the person next to him through the gap above the compartment.

It would have been fine if he hadn't glanced at it, but after taking this look, Huang Donglai was stunned...

Because what he saw from above was a person wearing a clown costume and a clown wig.

Although he didn't see the other person's face, Huang Donglai could still be sure that this clown was not Sun Yixie, because just from the sound of footsteps, he could tell that this person was obviously taller than Brother Sun. Moreover... we have mentioned many times that Huang Donglai's sense of smell is far beyond that of ordinary people. Given how familiar he is with Sun Yixie, he could tell that this was not Sun Yixie by "that smell".

But the question also arises: How did the third clown appear in this circus?
"What's going on? I just told Brother Sun to take over for a while, but in the blink of an eye, he has already found someone to replace me, and he has even put on makeup? Is there something wrong with the flow of time in this bathroom or is there something wrong with my brain's perception of time?"

Huang Donglai was still wondering when he heard footsteps in the corridor again.

This time, he quickly opened the door of the compartment and peeked out through a crack. As a result, he saw... another clown rushed in and rushed into the compartment on the other side of the previous clown.

"Ah?" Huang Donglai's inner monologue was trembling, "There is a fourth one? Is this some kind of secret program that Lao Feng arranged behind our backs?"

About ten seconds later, the person who came in later also finished unloading the first wave of goods, and immediately started to curse: "Ion! It's all your fault! It's ok that you are greedy, but you dragged me into it!"

“That’s not right…” Ion was scolded by his brother, and his tone was a little aggrieved. “I see many people eat more than me, how come they are fine?”

"I wanted to ask that too! Why are there only two of us..." Xipu said casually, but realized something halfway through, "Wait... did you wash your hands before you stuffed the fried skewers into my mouth?"

Ion thought for a few seconds: "I just washed it before putting on makeup."

After hearing this, Xipu really wanted to chop his brother to death on the spot: "You mean... before touching the oil powder and paint in the tattered sheep's stomach bag, you washed your hands, but after using those things, you...ah——"

When he said this, he screamed and ejaculated again.

"Hey! Who could have thought of this? I feel bad too!" Ion responded as he was hit by another wave of ejaculation.

Huang Donglai, who was listening to this conversation, was thinking: Are there two people like this in our group? Although I really can't remember the messy names of so many foreigners in the group, the name "Ion" sounds unfamiliar...

He was halfway through thinking about it when someone came outside again, and this time there were two footsteps.

When Huang Donglai heard footsteps approaching, he slowly opened the door of the cubicle and wanted to take a look through the crack to see who was coming. Unexpectedly, the two men suddenly stopped at the toilet door.

After a moment, two voices that Huang Donglai could hear clearly began to whisper outside the door...

"Are you sure you saw it clearly?"

"Of course I am sure. Two clowns, one tall and one short, are running here."

"Okay, then you wait a moment. I'll go in and quickly check it out. If there's no problem, you can use this to send them off after I come out... Anyway, as long as you're the one who lit the fire and threw it, you'll be considered the one who killed the person."

"What the hell is this?"

"It's a little invention I made using black powder. It's not very powerful, but it should be enough to deal with all the living things in this room."

"If you have such a convenient thing, why didn't you take it out earlier?"

"Oh... my dear Dumitru, if I let you get this thing too early, and if you accidentally blow me up and kill the target, who can I turn to for justice?"

"Hmph...Okay, then go and come back soon."