Rant Show: I Angrily Criticized a Million Parents

Chapter 439 Is this Tang Monk a chatterbox?
The movie opens with a scene where Guanyin Bodhisattva rebukes Sun Wukong.

"Sun Wukong, you impudent monkey! You promised Buddha you would escort Tang Sanzang to the Western Paradise to retrieve the scriptures, but in the end you conspired with the Bull Demon King to harm your master! Don't you know you've committed a grave mistake?!"

Upon hearing Guanyin's reprimand, the audience in the theater immediately became lively.

"Wow! This plot is so gripping! So exciting!"

"Haha, Sun Wukong teaming up with the Bull Demon King to eat Tang Sanzang, that's hilarious! It's totally Stephen Chow's style of humor."

"Haha, that's right, this kind of nonsensical comedy is the funniest, it's hilarious!"

"Stephen Chow is so cunning! That's what makes his nonsensical comedy so irresistible!"

"That's right, this is the image of the Monkey King in my mind, forever unruly and never so easily admitting defeat."

"Yes, the plot is going to get even more exciting, I can't wait..."

"..."

On screen, the movie's story continues, with Zhou Yang's Sun Wukong saying to Guanyin, "Stop talking nonsense! You've been following me for three days and three nights. Luckily you're a woman, or I would have dealt with you long ago! Don't think I'm afraid of you!"

Just when everyone thought the two were about to clash, a monk suddenly appeared in the center of the screen.

"Wukong, how dare you speak so rudely to Guanyin?" This monk is none other than Tang Sanzang, played by Stephen Chow. But unlike the traditional image, this Tang Sanzang gives off a sleazy feeling, making people want to punch him.

"Ugh! Be quiet!" Sun Wukong frowned and warned Tang Sanzang impatiently.

Tang Sanzang immediately looked sad, "You're scaring me again."

Guanyin ignored Tang Sanzang and focused on Sun Wukong, continuing, "Since you are not afraid of me, why did you hurt Fairy Zixia and steal her Moonlight Box? Aren't you avoiding me?"

"Since I can't avoid it, I'll fight you to the death!" With that, Sun Wukong threw out the Moonlight Box, gripped his golden cudgel tightly, assumed a fighting stance, and prepared to meet the challenge without fear!
Guanyin was ready to fight the unruly monkey and conquer this stubborn fellow who wouldn't listen to reason.

Suddenly, the Moonlight Box, which Sun Wukong had thrown, landed on Tang Sanzang's head.

Tang Sanzang impatiently interrupted the two, questioning, "What are you doing? Getting angry will affect your mood and violate the precepts! Wukong, stop being naughty! I told you not to throw things around, and here you are again... Look!!! You threw the staff again! The Moonlight Box is a treasure; throwing it around will pollute the environment. What if it hits a child? Even if it doesn't hit a child, it's still wrong to hit the flowers and plants..."

Stephen Chow successfully portrayed the talkative Tang Monk, making the audience feel completely immersed in the story, which really made people want to punch him.

Sun Wukong tried his best to control his anger and finally grabbed the Moonlight Box from Tang Sanzang's hand. He couldn't take it anymore and wanted to use the box to escape, to get as far away from Tang Sanzang as possible!
"What do you want to do?" Tang Sanzang gripped the treasure box tightly.

"Let go!" Sun Wukong said through gritted teeth.

Seeing how much Sun Wukong longed for the Moonlight Box, Tang Sanzang smiled mischievously, "You want it, Wukong... If you want it, just say so... How am I supposed to know you want it if you don't say anything? Even though you're looking at me sincerely, you still have to state your wish clearly... Do you really want it? Then take it... You're not just bluffing, are you? Do you really want it?"

Phew...hahahaha!!!

Upon seeing this scene, the audience in the cinema couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"Hahaha, I couldn't help myself, this Tang Sanzang is just too mischievous!"

"If I were Sun Wukong, I definitely wouldn't be able to resist either. Anyone would want to fight a master like that!"

"Haha, it's mainly because Stephen Chow's acting was superb. It wasn't abrupt at all, and it completely subverted the general imagination of Tang Sanzang."

"Wow, what an innovative and original idea! This Tang Sanzang will definitely express his gratitude to Teacher 6, hahaha..."

...Listening to Tang Sanzang's incessant rambling, Sun Wukong could no longer contain himself and squeezed out two words.

"I rely on!"

Snapped!
The next moment, Sun Wukong punched Tang Sanzang to the ground; he could no longer endure it.

Guanyin's face immediately turned horrified. "Ah, Sun Wukong!"

The audience was not shocked by the sudden plot of Sun Wukong being sealed in the nectar bottle; on the contrary, they felt extremely happy.

Now, everyone can finally quiet down!

"Sun Wukong, your behavior has gone too far! Today I will act on behalf of Heaven!" Guanyin finally lost her patience and engaged in a fierce battle with Sun Wukong. After dozens of rounds, she finally sealed Sun Wukong in the Dew Bottle.

Everyone was stunned by what they saw.

What's going on? The protagonist, Sun Wukong, the Monkey King, was captured the moment he appeared? What will happen next in the story?

This is simply illogical!
……

Just then, Tang Sanzang, who had been severely tortured by Sun Wukong, suddenly stood up again and begged Guanyin Bodhisattva for mercy.

"Alas... since the disciple has committed a transgression, the master should also bear the responsibility. Please, Guanyin, spare his life!"

"Hey, how come this guy is still alive? This Tang Sanzang's health bar looks pretty thick!"

"Haha, the title 'Sister Guanyin' is hilarious!"

"Sigh, the close relationship between Guanyin and Tang Sanzang is a bit strange. That way of addressing them is way too intimate..."

"No, I think Tang Sanzang was so simple that he would call any woman he met 'sister'."

"..."

Faced with Tang Sanzang's pleas for mercy, Guanyin sighed deeply, "If I let him go, I will have a hard time explaining to the Jade Emperor."

Guanyin spoke without hesitation. Although she was not under the Jade Emperor's jurisdiction, the Jade Emperor was, after all, the supreme ruler of Heaven, and Guanyin still had to obey his decrees.

Moreover, Sun Wukong actually colluded with the Bull Demon King to devour Tang Sanzang in order to ruin the grand plan of the journey to the West to obtain Buddhist scriptures. This act was extremely sinful and too numerous to mention.

For such a powerful and unruly Sun Wukong, there are only two paths to choose from: either submit to the Heavenly Court or be severely punished by the Iron Pestle!

The journey to the West to obtain Buddhist scriptures was something the Heavenly Court had been planning for a long time. All Sun Wukong needed to do was wear the cursed seal and obey the journey, and his uncontrollable will would naturally dissolve, making him a loyal messenger of the Heavenly Court.

A hint of helplessness flickered in Tang Sanzang's eyes. He knew perfectly well that the journey to the West to obtain the scriptures concealed a huge conspiracy, but the reality of this conspiracy revealed a glimmer of hope.

He and Sun Wukong were destined for this path of no return.

However, Tang Sanzang's eyes flickered, and a resolute look instantly appeared. He suddenly threw down his staff, raised his sleeve, clasped his hands together, knelt down, and kowtowed.

"Please convey to the Jade Emperor, sister, that this humble monk is willing to give his life to redeem another's. Namo Amitabha..."

boom!
The next moment, a staff suddenly slipped from his hand and struck Tang Sanzang, killing him instantly.

A commotion immediately erupted inside the theater!
(End of this chapter)