My youth story cannot be a knight war

[He recalled his extreme anger and loss of reason, and everything that happened afterwards.]

[He swung his fists and knocked down all those who stood in his way. He felt the soft touch of his fists sinking into the flesh, the sound of bones cracking and breaking under his fists, people's screams, the splashing red liquid, and the wet feeling when it soaked his skin... All of this was memorized by his fists.]

【Never, never forget. 】

[Looking at his blood-stained hands, Zaimokuza's eyes widened and finally almost popped out of his sockets, his pupils trembling violently.]

【"ah……"】

[His lips moved slightly, and in an instant, they turned into a heart-wrenching scream.]

【“——————Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!”】

[He wielded violence to hurt others, but in the end he cried like an innocent person who was tortured by violence. His desperate wail was like a beast being driven to the edge of a cliff, echoing throughout the Sobu High School for a long time. ]

……

[After that day, Zaimokuza was no longer willing to raise his fists in front of others. ]

[Even though he knew that the violence of his fists might be able to stop malicious aggression, he was unwilling to use it even once, allowing others to bully him, as if he was paying for some sin in this way.]

[Since that day, he has hated violence and developed a deep-seated aversion to it. Even if this violence is wielded for justice, he can no longer convince himself to use it safely.]

[It's because every time he raises his fist and swings it, Zaimokuza will recall everything that happened that day. Even if the memory has been forgotten by his brain, it is still remembered by his fists.]

[Just because he used his fists and used violence to beat others, the feeling was like being in hell, and Zaimokuza would never forget it. ]

[——This is the real reason why he hates using violence so much.]

27. The Door of Memory: The True Self (12K)

Tokyo, Shuchiin Academy, Discipline Committee Office.

“——This is really too much!!!”

Seeing those Taekwondo club members on the screen speaking ill of "Zaimokuza Yoshiki" who had just lost his parents, Iino Miko angrily slapped the table with such force that the solid wood table vibrated.

"If these scumbags are students of Shuchi Academy, then I will definitely bring them all to justice and make them copy all the school rules ten thousand times!"

His big eyes turned red because of anger. The bullying suffered by "Zaimokuza Yoshiki" also resonated with Iino.

Because she had a similar experience in junior high school, although it was not as serious as the other party, she also deeply understood this feeling.

If there hadn't been some unknown kind-hearted person who kept writing letters and giving her bookmarks to encourage her, Iino Miko would most likely have suffered from depression due to the endless cold violence around her, and even become like the Ishigami Yuu whom she disliked.

Absolutely not!!!

After imagining in his mind that he was staring at the same dead fish eyes as Ishigami Yu, Iino felt as if goose bumps were crawling all over his body due to the chill, as if countless little Ishigami were crawling on his skin.

"Indeed, this is a bit too much..."

The quiet Daibutsu Kobashi did not feel extremely indignant about the fate of Zaimokuza Yoshiki like her good friend, but a pair of slender eyebrows on her face were also raised upwards, expressing her inner dissatisfaction and disgust.

But at the same time, a gloomy figure with a hunched back and long bangs appeared in Daibutsu Xiaoba's mind. That was the back of Ishigami Yu.

——Is this what you felt at that time? Ishigami.

"..."

And the person she was worried about, Yu Ishigami, was sitting in his room at this moment, also watching the scene on the screen in silence.

He looked at the bullies who were speaking ill of "Zaimokuza Yoshiki" and it seemed that there were also voices from distant memories ringing in his ears.

"Hey? Look! That's the guy, so disgusting..."

"Otomo-kun was so nice to him, but he not only beat up someone else's boyfriend, but also slandered his reputation. He is simply the lowest scum!"

"Yes, Otomo-san is really blind to help such a beast in human form who only knows the appearance but not the heart... Hey! Why don't we find a way to help Otomo-san's boyfriend vent his anger!"

……

Ishigami Yu still had no expression on his face, but the right eye that was not covered by his bangs had lost all its light at some point and became deep and dark, like an empty black cave, empty yet terrifying.

puff.

The plastic-bag milk can in his hand burst as he suddenly increased the force in his palm, and the pure white milk splashed all over Ishigami You's new clothes.

"..."

His hands covered in milk let go of the burst plastic bag, and Ishigami Yu lowered his head deeply, his figure submerged in the darkness of the room.

Chiba Prefecture, Sobu High School, health room.

Zaimokuza looked at himself on the screen, who was being humiliated in every way in the near future, with a silent expression.

But the observant Hikigaya could notice that Zaimokuza's palms had been clenched into fists at some point, and the blue meridians on the back of his hands were undulating like poisonous snakes, revealing his silent anger.

"Zaimokuza, calm down, that's not what's happening right now."

He placed his hand on Zaimokuza's shoulder and consoled him with a calm voice.

"We now know what we want to know, and now that we know it, we can take precautions in advance, so that such a future will no longer appear in reality."

"Those things have nothing to do with us anymore...Don't get angry about things that no longer exist. There's no point in that."

"..."

After hearing Hikigaya's words, Zaimokuza's body paused, and his clenched fists slowly loosened.

"…You're right, Hachiman."

"Now that we know how tragedies happen, we can prevent them... the future has changed."

He exhaled deeply and murmured with a complicated expression, as if he was explaining something to others, or comforting himself.

"Tsk! Although I already knew that those kids in the Taekwondo Club were not good people, I didn't expect them to go this far."

Hiratsuka Shizuka clicked her tongue in dissatisfaction, looking at "Zaimokuza Yoshiki" who was surrounded and bullied by those members in the light curtain with her eyes full of anger, because that was the student she had personally taught.

"Those guys! I will definitely call them all to my office and teach them a lesson!"

"You don't need to do this anymore, Mr. Hiratsuka."

Yukinoshita Yukino's tone at this moment was even colder than usual, like frost and snow. Her pair of navy blue eyes were like two gems at the bottom of a lake at night, flashing with a cold blue light that made people feel bone-chilling.

"Thanks to this light curtain, now everyone in the world knows what kind of people those people in the Taekwondo Club are... In the future, Zaimokuza-san will be the Kamen Rider Kuuga who protects humanity. He is an absolute hero to humans, but they treat the guardian who stands on the side of humans like this. You can imagine the image they have in people's minds now."

"This group of bullies has completely died in the social sense. Now they have no future. Even if we don't count the future Zaimokuza-san, this has made them pay the price for their past evil deeds."

"Next, they will experience a thousand times the pain felt by those they have bullied, and continue to atone for their sins in this way."

There was nothing wrong with what Yukinoshita Yukino said. In fact, people's reckoning with these bullies has already begun in a corner that they cannot see.

The Taekwondo club members who appeared in the light curtain and participated in the bullying were now struggling to deal with their constantly ringing cell phones. Those calls were either loud curses from strangers or reproaches from their parents. Some of them even took great pains to confess their love to their girlfriends, but after seeing what they had done, they asked for a breakup without hesitation and cut off contact with each other in order to avoid being implicated.

The people around them were now all looking at them with undisguised disgust, with none of the smiling, flattering expressions they had in the past, filling these bullies, who had done so many evil things before, with pain and fear in their hearts.

At this moment, they truly understood the feelings of those students they had bullied in the past; it was a kind of despair where no one could get any help from them, whether they cried out to the heavens or the earth.

But the only difference is that no one will sympathize with them, because this is what bullies deserve, and now they are just tasting the consequences of their past actions.

[After that fight, Zaimokuza became notorious throughout Sobu High School. His fierce record of fighting seven people alone and almost wiping out the entire Taekwondo Club made him the top bad student in Sobu High School overnight, and he was even called the biggest and most evil student in this school in the past ten years.]

[Because of his domineering speech to the parents of those students in the guidance room afterwards, and the fact that he did such a serious thing but received almost no severe punishment (with the protection of Yukinoshita and Hiratsuka Shizuka), Zaimokuza has completely become the most untouchable person in Sobu High School in the eyes of other students, a real devil. ]

[But even if no one dares to challenge or humiliate him, it doesn't mean we can't teach him a lesson. ]

[Therefore, everyone tacitly began to use cold violence against him, completely treating him as if he did not exist. ]

[In the face of this situation, even the prominent families of Yukinoshita and Hiratsuka Shizuka are helpless. After all, even if they can use the power of their families to protect Zaimokuza despite everyone's accusations, they can't force others to greet him, right? ]

[Under such circumstances, Zaimokuza went through the most difficult period of his life. ]

[And so it was that day when the rain was pouring down. Zaimokuza, unable to bear the inner torment and the cold violence from others any longer, opened the door to the rooftop and sat alone in the rain for a whole day until Shizuka Hiratsuka accidentally found him.]

[It was also on that day that Hiratsuka Shizuka and Zaimokuza made a promise that would change his life. ]

[That promise was also Zaimokuza's redemption, pulling his spirit back from the edge of the abyss, allowing him to be completely reborn, so that he can truly walk out of the shadow of his parents' death and choose to face the world bravely alone in his future life.]

[After a few months, he opened the door of the Service Club again under the leadership of Hiratsuka Shizuka, and met Yukinoshita Yukino and Yuigahama Yui, who seemed to have never left since that day. ]

[When she saw him coming back, the most emotional Yuigahama Yui covered her mouth and almost cried on the spot, while Yukinoshita Yukino said nothing, but she, who usually treats people politely and coldly, did something that completely violated her character setting. ]

[Yukinoshita Yukino walked up to Zaimokuza, who was at a loss, and gave him a hug with open arms as he was stunned, and said softly:]

[“Welcome back… Zaimokuza-san.”]

[Her embrace and the gentle tone in her voice that had never appeared in front of anyone before made Zaimokuza seem to see his deceased mother in a trance. It was so gentle and beautiful.]

【After that, Zaimokuza hugged Yukinoshita Yukino and cried. It was the first time he cried so loudly. The other party only used one sentence and a hug to remove the strength he had forced himself to hold in front of outsiders, making him cry like a child who had been lost for a long time and finally returned home. 】

【Zaimokuza once thought he had no home, but he found out he was wrong.】

[His other "family members" have actually been waiting for him to come back with another person for a long time. ]

[On that day, there were three people who signed in for the service club's activity, and one person was absent. ]

[Zaimokuza once lost everything, even himself, but eventually found everything with the help of his friends and teachers. 】

【With that day as the dividing line, the time that had been stopped in the tragedy began to move again, driving Zaimokuza towards the future.】

[——However, the time of another person has always remained on that day and has never come out. ]

[That person is Hikigaya Hachiman, the last and irreplaceable member of the Service Club. ]

[Although both of them suffered the tragedy of losing their loved ones, in contrast to Zaimokuza's autism, Hikigaya has been going to school normally since that day, showing no signs of abnormality, and seems unusually normal.]

【But this normality is actually the biggest abnormality. 】

[Because it is impossible for a normal person to look normal after losing a loved one. The evidence is that his parents have been crying all the time and have not yet recovered from the pain of losing their beloved daughter.]

[As the sole breadwinner of the family, his father took a month-long leave from work and stayed at home drinking to drown his sorrows. His mother also hid in her room crying the whole time, but he seemed to have no problems at all. Every time Shizuka Hiratsuka came to visit, Hachiman Hikigaya greeted her calmly, and his words and actions did not show any grief.]

[If there is one thing that is different, it is that he never laughs again. ]

[The death of his sister seemed to have taken away the ability to smile in his personality. Now Hikigaya's face is like a frozen mask, always keeping an expressionless face.]

[People who are familiar with him now have a feeling after seeing Hikigaya, that is, the temperament surrounding him seems to have changed overnight, and he has become a stranger who also has the name Hikigaya Hachiman, but no one knows him. ]

[But the biggest change is not his temperament, but his appearance, which is completely different from the past.]

[The pair of dead fish eyes that had always been on his face disappeared. Now his calm eyes looked like two black pools, so deep that they could swallow up all the light that shone into his eyes. He also wore a pair of glasses.]

[It was only a change in a pair of eyes and temperament, but it completely transformed Hikigaya. With the temperament brought by these eyes, his already good foundation, his appearance has now surpassed that of Hayato Hayama, who is recognized by all students as the most handsome man in Sobu High School, and he has become the top male star in Sobu High School. ]

[Thanks to this, Hikigaya, who was originally disliked by almost all girls, has become quite popular in Sobu High School in just one month due to his current appearance. Many girls even confessed their love to him.]

[But Hikigaya completely ignored the various advances from these girls. The treatment he enjoyed now was enough to make him shed tears of jealousy in the past, but now he looked at these things as if they were gravel on the side of the road, not paying any attention to them at all.]

[Originally good at liberal arts, he found Shizuka Hiratsuka eight days after his sister died in a car accident, changed his major to science, and then plunged into the vast sea of ​​scientific knowledge, isolating himself from the world in a different way from Zaimokuza's original method.]

[Not to mention going back to the Service Club, he didn't even say hello to Yukinoshita and Yuigahama when he saw them in school many times afterwards. It was like he was seeing two strangers. He turned his back to them, shouted at them but couldn't say anything, and walked away from his sight.]

【After Zaimokuza came out of the lowest point in his life and learned about Hikigaya Hachiman's current situation from Hiratsuka Shizuka, he also hoped that his best friend could get out of the shadow of his loved one's death like himself and return to the Service Club.】

[With this thought in mind, Zaimokuza found Hikigaya Hachiman, who was walking towards the library with a pile of science books. ]

[It had only been a few months since they last met, but when they stood in front of each other again, Zaimokuza felt as if an epoch had passed since they last met.]

[He looked at Hachiman Hikigaya walking towards him with the sunlight reflected by his glasses, and reached out to say hello.]

[“Hachiman——”]

[A black figure passed by him without stopping. Zaimokuza opened his eyes slightly, turned his head and stared blankly at Hikigaya Hachiman who was walking behind him.]

[There was no expression on his face, and at the moment he passed through, Zaimokuza saw Hikigaya Hachiman's eyes hidden behind his glasses.]

[Those eyes were deep and calm, reflecting my face like a mirror, but they were fleeting, like a roadside scenery that you can see at any time, and once you pass by, you will never notice it again.]

[He can no longer see anyone. Everything in this world has lost its meaning to Hikigaya.]

[Even if they are friends from the past, there is no difference. 】

……

【Since that day, Zaimokuza has been persistently looking for Hikigaya, trying to restore their relationship. 】

[But the result was nothing but failure again and again. Basically, every time I was rejected by the other party without even meeting him, or after meeting him, he would just walk past me as if he didn't exist without even saying a word.]

[Time passed in the struggle between the two sides. Zaimokuza tried every possible way to bring Hikigaya back to the Service Club, the club that had brought them together and made them friends, but all ended in failure.]

[During this process, Hachiman Hikigaya, who transferred to the science department, actually achieved amazing results in this area, shocking many people who originally thought that he had given up on himself and degraded himself only because of his sister's death.]

[He made a name for himself in the scientific community with a self-written paper on physics. This paper was so outstanding that it even attracted the attention of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, which was far away on the other side of the ocean. They learned about his existence.]