The social phobia substitute will not dream of the band girl

"What do you think about Toru-senpai's situation, Enka-senpai?"

"Who knows... maybe use your eyes."

"Ahaha~ That's totally unlike something Enka-senpai would say. Is it because you've been hanging out with Hirayuma-senpai for so long?"

"... Same here, Hina, you've never been someone who would talk like that before."

"..."x2

There was another long silence, and under the breeze, Enka's mind calmed down a lot.

The scenery that repeats day after day, the "wastewater" that can be looked at but not drunk, the skin that becomes rough due to long-term sun exposure and blisters, many beautiful things may become disgusting objects after a long time, just like the relationship between men and women.

When you like someone, you like everything about them, as if everything they do is right and good; when you are in love, you are submissive in everything, and you can tolerate and forgive whatever shortcomings or mistakes their other person makes.

However, those model couples who were once in love often quickly grow tired of each other and even divorce or break up after living together or getting married. This is because the beauty created by distance is worn away by repeated minor frictions and conflicts. When the filter is gone, many people start to think that the other person is just so-so, and then even the love itself gradually fades away...

When the waves recede, you will know who is swimming naked; when the passion disappears, you will know the extent of love.

Enka has always been a contradictory person. If she were ranked within the group, she'd probably be the second most eccentric person, second only to the naturally gifted Toru Asakura. On the surface, she appears to be a normal person, but in reality, she's full of contradictions, and they manifest in every aspect—

For example, she appears cold on the outside but is warm on the inside, and although she is always sharp-tongued, she is actually very soft-hearted; like she has always dreamed of becoming [Mei (Asakura)], but deep down she completely denies this possibility; and when she first started dating, she was as proud as a swan in front of Hiranobu, but in fact, she was more inferior than an ugly duckling.

So she was afraid, and she was always in fear...

She was afraid that her relationship would break down (become NTR) and become a laughing stock after Toru Asakura appeared, but "fortunately" Hirayuma was a scumbag from the beginning, and he was the only one who wanted them all, so there was no need to choose just one.

She was afraid that the love she had always felt was fake and that Ping Xin would ruthlessly abandon her sooner or later. Even when she found out that she was pregnant, the joy in her heart was greater than her shame and anger.

Afraid...afraid that he doesn't love Toru Asakura.

It's not just because of the "first come, first served" principle, but because if he can give up and refuse to accept Asakura Toru, then why can Enka stay here with peace of mind?

Although there was a twisted joy in her heart, she was genuinely happy that she had finally defeated Asakura Toru, who had always dominated her. Although Enka was very competitive and even regarded defeating the all-out Asakura Toru as one of her life goals, she did not want to sacrifice her best friend's happiness.

If that happens, I won't be able to sleep well at night.

"I didn't expect Toru-senpai to be rejected~...Does Enka-senpai know about this?"

"I don't know... I only found out after I asked him after he came back."

"That's it..."

Enka suddenly remembered something Hirayuma once said. He said that people can't truly understand others, and even putting themselves in their shoes is just a form of self-righteousness. And Asakura Toru has always endured this kind of incomprehensible loneliness, a loneliness that even he can't fully understand...

If you don't use your abilities.

"Asakura... Toru, there was nothing unusual about her before. Everything was the same as always. Maybe I never really understood her. She was just being 'self-righteous' all the time." Enka smiled self-deprecatingly. Although she was still beautiful, she was not as pretty as before.

"That's not at all what Enka-senpai would say~...Even though she's always been the self-proclaimed number one 'Asakuraologist'." Hina leaned on the armrest, her tone not as energetic as it was during the day.

Is the quiet girl now the real Ichikawa Hina? Is her lively appearance during the day just a disguise?

If it were a year ago, Enka would probably think that Hina was overly lively, willful, and had little interest in anyone except Asakura Toru, but now she really didn't know, she couldn't be sure...

Just like what Ping Xin was thinking.

When a person can no longer be bound by rules, laws, worldly perceptions, or even gravity, the only thing that can bind them is themselves. The only relatively reliable bond is emotion, an eternal topic that humans cannot avoid no matter how they evolve.

But why is this person, who has always been so bold in love and hate, now so fussy? Why didn't she and Asakura Toru end up together when they clearly had feelings for each other? And why... does she feel so distant?

She doesn't know, and Higuchi Enka doesn't know.

"Hey, Hina..."

"What's wrong, Enka-senpai?"

Enka was in an even more depressed mood than usual, and Hinana also looked listless, staring blankly into the distance, as if searching for the end of the non-existent sea.

"You... like Ping Xin too, right?"

"Yeah, like he likes me~"

Hinana's tone of voice rose when she spoke. When people think that the person they like also likes them, their tone of voice will inevitably be a little happy. Not being able to jump up and cheer is already a sign of a very restrained love.

But Enka only thought she was cunning, and he was cunning too. It would have been fine if they just lied to her, but these two people just liked to say things to her face that would make her unhappy. It was really annoying.

Then there was another moment of silence.

After all, despite their close friendship, their personalities had always been incompatible. They were the type who bonded well in group settings but would never go out together in private. So, when the topic came to an end, the other didn't know what to say. But when silence fell, they couldn't help but think of the times they'd been alone with Hirayuko. It would never have been like this if they'd been with him...

Although they have different personalities, the two can still reach a consensus on some issues.

"Koito..." x2

After an unknown number of minutes, they both spoke at the same time, naming the remaining member. After a few more seconds of silence, they finally forgot about the disgusting "they have such good chemistry" and continued to chatter to themselves, oblivious to the others.

“I feel like I can’t escape.”

"And she doesn't want to run~"

"But Koito is a very serious person."

"Are you serious about learning Ping Xin's unprecedented skills?"

Since childhood, the only male friend of Koito's age she's known, aside from her father at home and her grandfather back home, is Hiranobu. Over the years, he's gradually tamed and strengthened Koito's sense of masculinity, like the trainer and his beloved horse in Uma Musume, with no other options left...

Oh, and speaking of which, Enka had read Hiranobu's setting and knew there was such a thing as a "team trainer." One person dealing with a whole team of horsegirls, wasn't that what he was writing about?

Pingxin, you are such a horse!

Although... although it seems that she is being seeded now... oh no, she is the only one being seeded. After thinking about this fact, the feeling of being treated specially, the happiness of making a fortune quietly, and the joy of feeling chosen by fate, suddenly made Enka feel better.

Hina on the side could only watch Enka's expression flickering. Not directly asking her if she had mental problems due to the stimulation was already Hina Ichikawa's last courtesy. Normally, she didn't like to read the atmosphere.

"Speaking of which, Koito just now said in her sleep that 'idols can't date'. If Toru-senpai knew about this, it would be very troublesome, right~?"

Even though this clause wasn't in the original contract, or perhaps Asuka deliberately omitted it, from a professional ethics perspective, isn't it 100% wrong? Could this be the reason Hirayuki didn't develop a closer relationship with Hinana or agree to a date with Tohru?

Enka suddenly had the illusion that Hiranobu would follow the "rules," and at the same time, she felt a surge of elation. For example, if she had known Hiranobu before becoming an idol, then perhaps...she could get by?

Subconsciously rubbing her belly, Enka could only pray that the child would sleep longer, preferably until their idols graduated after turning 20. Although Hiraishin had already begun preparing plans for their future careers as actors, singers, or other professionals, that day was still a long way off. Would Toru and Hina be able to accept this?

Asakura Toru was able to maintain her unrequited love for so many years and not rush to recognize Hira Nobu after discovering her, so she definitely has endurance. But as for Ichikawa Hina, Enka had no doubts in her heart...

This guy definitely can't stand that, right?

"I have a feeling that Enka-senpai is thinking something very rude~"

"...Your illusion."

After standing here in the breeze for a while, the two returned to the room one after another without speaking again on the way.

......

...

..

As time passed, when 5 years old became 15 years old, the boy became a teenager and then grew into a man, and his thoughts became deeper and more unfathomable.

[What kind of person is he/she] is a question that is not surprising for others to think about and measure with a lifetime as the scale. However, this question is more difficult for some people who are good at hiding or who change a lot during their growth, making it difficult to know where to start.

But fortunately, Asakura Toru is a person who is never confused——

It's not that she won't get lost, hesitate, or make mistakes, but she always knows what she is pursuing from beginning to end. Although she often forgets what she has thought about in a daze, those people and events, those thoughts and feelings have left a mark on her soul.

However, no matter how brave and decisive a person is, they will inevitably have moments of hesitation, especially when it comes to matters that are deeply personal. For example, career, family, and relationships—believe me, anyone who's experienced it knows it's much more difficult than calculus. Emotional issues are always unsolvable.

To make up for the lost time, to recover the lost memories and emotions, and then on this basis to move towards a common future for the two of them, this is Toru Asakura's inner thoughts.

She would be curious about what Ping Xin did in a place where he didn't know her and when he didn't know her, and occasionally she would complain about him leaving her and secretly growing up, but she would soon put it behind her, because compared to her feelings for Ping Xin, these little complaints were nothing, far less than the resentment that she had been treated as "him".

The only thing that is unacceptable is that the two people will drift further and further apart, like two straight lines that briefly intersect and touch each other but will never come together again.

She thought this would last forever and they would never be separated again, but something told her that Ping Xin had been very upset these days and... was planning to leave.

And this time will never be too short——

"That person always likes to say the truth as if it were a lie or a joke. You should be aware of this, Asakura, right?"

"Hey, really?"

"..."

When Enka saw Toru Asakura, she was stunned for a moment as if she was hearing this for the first time. Are you serious?

In fact, Enka really wanted to prepare some trouble for Ping Xin, such as letting Toru torture Ping Xin more like she did in the past. After all, Ping Xin is a bitch who likes to be pretentious. The girl has confessed to her on her own initiative, and you are still so nagging?

How come you forget your harem spirit at a time like this!

He's a masochist anyway, so he'll just feel happy even if he's bullied a few more times... Enka thought to herself with a vengeful feeling.

"What about Asakura? What do you think about his (relationship problems)?"

Enka stared at Asakura Toru with her purple eyes, but she found that she was just in a daze as usual (it looked like she was in a daze). She habitually looked away and pretended to be thinking.

...To be specific, it is exactly the same as usual. How can this be pyroxene?

After thinking for a long time, Toru Asakura smiled and gave her answer: "No matter where he goes, how many people he meets, or how many things he goes through, he will definitely come back to me in the end."

"..."

Namo San, what a fin de siècle view of love! Doesn't this guy care about other women at all? It's outrageous, but if it was Asakura Toru, it wouldn't be unacceptable—

It’s really outrageous!

"...Have you figured out what to do next? Even though he's a pervert, he's still a tough nut to crack once he makes up his mind."

"Well...just normal ones."

"...ordinary?"

This mystery did not bother Enka for too long, but she would still recall that afternoon, that white wedding dress, and the fact that her friend was a lowly woman for a long time.

Chapter 4000: We Are Finally Seen ()

"Good morning, Tooru."

"Good morning."

"Today's schedule remains unchanged as previously announced. I'll explain it to you later in the car. Anyway, get in the car. I've got some hot coffee for you."

"Hi~"

Hirayuki got out, opened the door, and waited for Asakura Toru to get in before following him in the back seat. Their eyes occasionally met along the way, and Toru seemed to hesitate several times, but he spoke of his work with such gusto, unlike his usual reticence, that he didn't give her any chance to explain.

There is a kind of rejection called silence, and a kind of perfunctory response called excitement. Asakura Toru is not ignorant of the existence of human nature. When it comes to matters related to him, Toru's thoughts always turn quickly, so he does not speak.

Isn't that good too?

With this in mind, the two of them (and Delta, who was driving) arrived at their work location this morning and, as planned on the schedule, began with a fashion magazine shoot.

"Did Miss Tou not sleep well last night?"

"...Eh?"

"Um..." The photographer glanced at Ping Xin who was sitting in the corner, hesitated for a moment, and finally said, "Ms. Tou was distracted a lot today, and she looked a little unwell. If she's not feeling well, wait a couple of days..."

Wouldn't it be awkward again if she came back in two days? Furthermore, if Tou, who had always been working smoothly, suddenly couldn't complete her work, people might think something had happened, which would be detrimental to her future career.

Thinking of this, Ping Xin interrupted, "Then let's change into something melancholic today. She looks good in anything anyway. Summer is here and everyone likes to wear cute and sexy clothes. It's not good to be too enthusiastic."

Ping Xin was a master at making excuses, so after a pause, he added, "It might be nice to express your personality in a place like this, and it's good to change up your style occasionally. After all, few people can see themselves clearly from the beginning."

"I see, you're worthy of being the boss!"

Jinchuan Shilong, standing nearby, let out a "Day to Rua" sound, leaving the photographer baffled. But he was just a messenger, responsible for taking beautiful photos, and it wasn't his responsibility to decide what to wear.

Perhaps it was the suggestion to change clothes that changed the atmosphere. After changing into dark-colored clothes such as black and dark blue, the shooting went exceptionally smoothly, and even Heishin was surprised to leave work early.

"Everyone has worked hard."

"Ms. Tou is the one who took a lot of great photos today!"

After exchanging pleasantries, everyone said their goodbyes. It was barely past midnight. At Hengxin Group, if you completed your work well, you could leave early after inspection or take on other tasks to earn more points. However, there were apparently more slackers on the scene, so the staff members happily went off to eat and rest, leaving Pingxin and Tou, who were very good at reading the atmosphere, behind.

"Well... let's go get lunch too. Is there anything Toru would like to eat?"

Because there was still outdoor shooting in the afternoon, Toru and Pingxin had to stay together, and it was obviously not appropriate to talk about business now that work had just finished (mainly because they had just talked about everything).

Pingxin swore that this was definitely the first time he liked Dongguo's tradition of reading the air so much and hated leaving get off work early. If he had known earlier, he should have exploited them hard!

Surprisingly, Asakura Toru seemed in a good mood, humming a song as she walked out. Seeing this, Hirayuko followed her. He had always been the leader since they were little, so this situation was actually quite new.

In the end, Tohru simply picked a small restaurant on the street that caught his eye. The food was average, but the atmosphere was pleasant. Surprisingly, it was Tohru Asakura who was the one to set the mood. She was surprisingly talkative this lunch, and even though He Xin only responded briefly throughout, the time flowed smoothly.