I have a life simulator.

Before Sakayanagi Arisu could even process Kitagawa Ryo's words, the other person immediately shifted his attention, looking at something on the bookshelf with delight, and then reaching out to take it down.

There were three boxes containing chess, Go, and Chinese chess pieces. It seemed that because he didn't know what Sakayanagi Arisu liked, her father simply stuffed them all in.

Her father is someone who respects Arisu Sakayanagi's choices, even though she is just a child now.

It took Kitagawa Ryo three separate trips to finally move them to the table next to the sofa, or rather, the coffee table.

"Let's play chess."

Which one do you know?

Sakayanagi Arisu had never played any board games before, so she shook her head.

"Let's play Connect Four!"

Kitagawa Ryo took out the black and white chess pieces with great interest:

"You should know the rules of Gomoku, right? You win by connecting five pieces of the same color in a continuous line, either horizontally, vertically, or diagonally."

Sakayanagi Arisu nodded blankly, and then, without realizing it, she had played several games of Gomoku with him.

However, even in this game with such simple rules, she never won against Kitagawa Ryo.

"It's time, I have to go back."

After noticing the time displayed on the clock on the wall, Kitagawa Ryo nimbly jumped off the sofa and put his slippers back on. His nimble movements made him seem nothing like a patient, unless Sakayanagi Arisu had noticed that he was using his left hand to hold the chess pieces on the board.

"I'm going to call my cat."

Noticing Arisu Sakayanagi's puzzled expression, Ryo Kitagawa raised his eyebrows smugly.

"cat?"

Sakayanagi Arisu repeated the word from Kitagawa Ryo's words, and the image that came to her mind was that of a furry little animal.

"If it weren't for the hospital's strict rule against bringing pets."

Kitagawa Ryo sighed helplessly, hands on his hips, like a little adult:

"I think Arisu would definitely like Hotaru too. Hotaru is a cat that can smile."

"Just like the Cheshire Cat in the fairy tale."

Sakayanagi Arisu shook her head, indicating that she hadn't read the fairy tale Kitagawa Ryo had told her. Kitagawa Ryo gave a brief explanation, then suddenly clapped his hands as if he had remembered something and said:

"The protagonist of that fairy tale has the same pronunciation as Arisu's name."

"Alice."

Sakayanagi Arisu thought it was the name of a Western girl. She searched for it on her phone, and the top image was an animated character with blonde hair and a blue dress.

So Sakayanagi Arisu carefully pulled the hair behind her ear towards her eyes, the silvery-white strands shimmering with a fragile, ethereal light. She then looked down at her hospital gown and shook her head firmly, saying:

"Completely different from me."

Rather, she felt that she and Alice were two completely opposite beings.

The other person had beautiful long golden hair, while her hair was silver-white and only reached her neck.

Just as Sakayanagi Arisu was comparing the similarities and differences between herself and this little girl also named Alice, Kitagawa Ryo seemed to have already dialed the phone home. After exchanging a few words with a person who seemed to be her father, a furry creature's face appeared on the screen of her phone, which was connected to a video call.

"firefly!"

Kitagawa Ryo cheered happily as he spoke enthusiastically with a cat in front of Sakayanagi Arisu.

Although Sakayanagi Arisu felt that her use of the word "communication" was somewhat forced.

After all, one side was just uttering nonsensical and strange words, while the other side was just meowing.

"I can go back soon!"

Before the video ended, Sakayanagi Arisu heard Kitagawa Ryo make such a confident statement.

She stared at the search results for "Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis" on her phone and began to think seriously.

Sakayanagi Arisu considers herself a thoughtful child because she has plenty of time to do nothing but think.

However, she still couldn't figure out the logic behind Kitagawa Ryo's statement.

The dappled sunlight dappled the ward, and a sudden gust of wind ruffled the dense foliage, rustling like countless mute little bells ringing incessantly.

Chapter Sixty-Nine: I hope you have a nightmare

Sakayanagi Arisu's father came to the hospital room today. He recently took over as the chairman of the board of directors of Tokyo Advanced Educational High School. Due to his busy schedule, he has been visiting Sakayanagi Arisu less frequently. But this has made each visit even more anticipated and meaningful.

After all, Sakayanagi Arisu had hardly ever met her mother. Her father was the only person who had been by her side since she could remember. She pieced together an image of her mother from her father’s words. Whenever she heard her father praise her, saying, “Arisu is just like her, with the same personality,” it felt as if she was enjoying three kinds of love at the same time.

There weren't many interesting topics in the ward before, like a dry well whose bottom could be seen at a glance. But Kitagawa Ryo's arrival gave Sakayanagi Arisu an extra idea. She started talking to her father with great interest about the... fellow patient next door?

"It's rare to see Arisu so interested."

"Perhaps it's because Ryo is a very interesting person?"

"...You still don't talk like a child."

As he said this, the father, sitting in front of the hospital bed, smiled slightly, seemingly puzzled.

"However, having a peer to talk to is not a bad thing for Arisu."

Chairman Sakayanagi rubbed his daughter's head and said:

“Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I suddenly realize that I am all alone at home, and then I think of Arisu, who is also alone in the hospital.”

"But there's really nothing we can do about it. However, once Arisu is feeling better, I will let her go to school like other children."

Sakayanagi Arisu nodded, although she wasn't particularly interested in things like school.

The father seemed to understand his daughter's thoughts. He reached out his large hand and grasped Sakayanagi Arisu's hand, enveloping both of her hands together, and then pressed them against his forehead.

"Humans learn what warmth is through contact with each other. This is very important."

Sakayanagi Arisu felt the warmth in her father's palm, as if warm blood was flowing from there.

"The warmth of the skin is by no means a bad thing; it is something your mother taught me."

-------------------------------------

"Mother?"

Kitagawa Ryo moved the pieces with his left hand, muttering "a divine move" as he bluntly blocked the four white pieces that Sakayanagi Arisu had already connected.

“I’ve never met her. My adoptive father was my grandfather. If you’re specifically referring to my blood-related mother, I probably haven’t talked to her as much as I have to you.”

Sakayanagi Arisu was taken aback by Kitagawa Ryo's answer. She felt she should apologize, but then thought it was completely unnecessary. She frowned and struggled for a long time, but when she saw that Kitagawa Ryo didn't even look up and was still focused on the chessboard, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"But I've met other mothers."

Sakayanagi Arisu, who had almost conjured up an entire tale of family feuds from Kitagawa Ryo's casual remark, was speechless for a long time before hearing Kitagawa Ryo slowly say:

“When I was hospitalized in other hospitals before, I saw many other patients’ mothers.”

"There are thirty-year-olds, forty-year-olds, sixty-year-olds, and even eighty-year-olds."

Kitagawa Ryo spoke in a storytelling tone:

"Because there are no beds for the family members accompanying patients in the ward, some mothers sleep on the floor in the corner. But as more people stay in the ward, there are not enough places to sleep on the floor, so they put two chairs together to sleep. Later, when there were more people, two chairs became one chair."

He leaned back on the sofa, legs crossed:

"Sleep leaning against the wall."

Sakayanagi Arisu nodded thoughtfully, but she didn't think her mother would be so weak as to sleep sitting in a chair against the wall. Nevertheless, this didn't stop her from remarking:

"It's awesome."

However, she soon became frustrated again, because no matter what stories she heard, they were all stories about other people's mothers.

Kitagawa Ryo noticed Sakayanagi Arisu's expression and exclaimed in surprise, his mouth agape:

"You don't think it's because of you..."

"Is there a problem with inferring from the result backwards?"

Sakayanagi Arisu pursed her pale lips. Kitagawa Ryo connected the five Go stones in a line, and she angrily threw the white stone she was holding back.

Perhaps she still felt some complicated negative emotions about her father's busy work these days. Even though he was the person who loved her the most in the world, he had used all his strength to soothe the grief of losing his wife, and even his love for her.

However, it's also possible that realizing this is what makes them feel even sadder.

"Alice is not like a child at all."

Kitagawa Ryo shook his head:

"Even if a rabbit with a pocket watch really appeared now, Alice probably wouldn't jump down the rabbit hole with it."

"Alice would probably first wonder if this is someone's prank, or maybe a movie is being filmed somewhere?"

"As for that hole that looks bottomless, Alice would never jump in."

Sakayanagi Arisu spent two hours last night reading the not-so-thick fairy tale book, and she was quite dismissive of Kitagawa Ryo's words:

"If someone actually believed in fairy tales, she would definitely not fall into some underground world, but would crash hard into some abandoned sewer or something."

"I think Liang should be more concerned with the various metaphors in the story, such as the issues of women's rights and education during the Victorian era, social atmosphere, and the prototype of the Queen of Hearts. Maybe I would be more willing to discuss those with Liang."

"Alice is not a child at all, yet she is still called Alice."

Kitagawa Ryo sniffed, as if his beliefs had been challenged.

"It's just that the names sound the same."

"Moreover, I think the Alice in the book is no match for me at all; she's just making a fool of herself."

Sakayanagi Arisu confidently raised her chin:

“Genius is determined by genes from birth. My parents are both outstanding people, so I am completely different from that clumsy little girl.”

"What—"

Kitagawa Ryosuke and Saka Yanagi Arisu made a face:

"Does it refer to a genius who can't even win a single game of Gomoku?"

"Gomoku... Gomoku is a game for children, and it cannot be used as a basis for judgment."

Sakayanagi Arisu blushed with embarrassment as she stood up and took down the chess set box:

"This is the kind of game geniuses should play."

Then, Sakayanagi Arisu lost their first game of chess in a much shorter time than he would have lost a game of Gomoku.

-------------------------------------

In addition to her regular check-ups every morning, Sakayanagi Arisu also has a special rehabilitation training session every three days, which is taken care of by someone her father specially hired. They transport her to the courtyard downstairs like a fragile porcelain doll.

She followed the other person's instructions to make some soft, stretching movements, but in reality, she was not soft at all. Psychologically, she was like a puppet being directed, and physically, she was like an old-fashioned wind-up toy without lubrication.

The only thing that Arisu Sakayanagi found somewhat novel was that only at this time could she truly feel the presence of her heart. As soon as the intensity of exercise increased slightly, her heart would roar and hum in her chest cavity like an old-fashioned engine.

If a heartbeat is the sound of life, then this moment must be the moment when we are living most authentically.

Excluding the pale face, the fine sweat on the forehead, the blurry vision, the feeling of something stuck in the throat... well, there are a lot of things to exclude.

This process is repeated several times, as if testing some kind of limit or pushing some kind of potential, and then the day's training ends with encouragement from the therapist. Sakayanagi Arisu is no stranger to this routine.

It feels like moving towards a distant goal, knowing full well that you can't reach it, but still having to take it step by step, as if you're playing a boring game with someone else for years to come.

Then Kitagawa Ryo suddenly appeared in the courtyard, or rather, Sakayanagi Arisu finally discovered him.

He was squatting in the flower bushes, and Sakayanagi Arisu didn't recognize the flowers; it was as if he were watching ants moving house.

"cold."

"Sakayanagi Arisu called out; she had already planned to go back to her ward."

"Arisu."

He waved in this direction, and Sakayanagi Arisu didn't know whether the other person meant to call out "Alice" or "Arisu," since the pronunciation was the same.

"Want to come and see?"

So Sakayanagi Arisu went over to Kitagawa Ryo and squatted down next to her. She had just been sweating, and the therapist told her to go back and take a shower and change her clothes. So before she could see what Kitagawa Ryo was looking at, Sakayanagi Arisu was called back.

When Sakayanagi Arisu returned to the courtyard after taking a bath and changing her clothes, Kitagawa Ryo was no longer there. She walked to the flower bushes, and it seemed that the ants had also moved out, leaving only empty soil.

She waited for a while, and then Kitagawa Ryo finally arrived. He seemed to have just finished showering as well. Surprisingly, neither of them was wearing hospital gowns. Kitagawa Ryo was wearing a hooded children's outfit, while Sakayanagi Arisu was wearing a dress with a skirt that reached her ankles.