I have a life simulator.

She felt no shame or resentment for living in a single-parent family. For most of her life, she simply followed her mother's wishes to be an honest and sincere person.

Since her mother was unwilling to dwell on the topic, Honami Ichinose naturally regarded all the topics related to her father as corpses to be discarded and buried by her own hands, and she moved forward.

My elementary and junior high school life went smoothly, and Ichinose Honami, who was both a boy and a girl, made many friends.

Although I am not good at sports, I adhere to the principle that hard work will change things, and this weakness, which is not really a flaw, is being steadily improved little by little.

In her third year of junior high school, Honami Ichinose became the student council president she had always dreamed of. This allowed her to stand on a larger platform and reach out to all those in need, like an angel blessing mortals from the clouds.

But every time the bell rings to signal the end of get out of class, when she returns to her home, after her classmates, teachers, and studies have all faded away, a more jarring and sharp reality emerges, like a fishbone stuck in her throat, a problem she is powerless to resolve.

In junior high school, when everyone wears the same uniform, eats similar food, and their understanding of the world is limited to a small sphere centered on themselves, the differences between people... between students are more about simpler things like grades, running speed, and the number of friends.

These are things that Honami Ichinose can achieve through diligent study, rigorous training, and gentle treatment of others.

However, wealth and poverty cannot be changed overnight, and even the most perfect Ichinose Honami could not achieve it.

All she could do was fulfill the duties of her daughter and sister, and strive to secure a special admission to a private high school, hoping to reduce the exorbitant tuition fees and ease her mother's burden.

Honami Ichinose originally planned to drop out of school and start working after graduating from junior high school, but her mother stopped her.

Honami Ichinose remembers it clearly: her mother smiled faintly, a smile she hadn't seen in a long time. The fine wrinkles around her made her realize that her mother was getting old.

"Fanbo, you don't understand yet. Because you have a long and unknown life ahead of you, you dare to make bold decisions. You will work hard for what you think is right and don't think about your future."

"Continue your studies or work... This should be considered the first turning point in your life, just like the first crossroads you've ever been to."

She stroked Honami Ichinose's hand; her slightly rough palm was warm.

“But I no longer have that future. My life will not change. I have passed the several forks before getting here, so there is only one straight track ahead.”

"If there are any turning points in my life."

She answered with a tired, yet extremely gentle expression:

"That's you."

The reason the mother works so hard is simply because she doesn't want her two children to repeat her life in the future.

Having realized this, Honami Ichinose abandoned the idea.

She was now somewhat annoyed that time was passing too slowly. She knew very well that every day of school life she and her sister were living was built on the labor of their mother alone. This feeling made her feel like she was slowly drowning and suffocating. She wished she could fold the four years of junior high and high school into four days and live them all at once. Maybe there would be college later, but that didn't matter. If she became an adult, she could at least help her mother share some of the burden.

At school, Honami Ichinose remains a helpful and kind top student, and at home, she is still a model older sister and daughter who takes care of her younger sister and is considerate of her mother. Honami Ichinose is a smart girl, and since she cannot change the current situation for the time being, she can only wait.

Lock your heart in a cage and wait patiently like a hibernating bear.

What Ichinose Honami didn't expect was that the one who would ultimately drive her to the icy wilderness was her younger sister, who was two years younger than her.

If Honami Ichinose is an overly sensible child, then her younger sister, Maki Ichinose, is just an ordinary sensible child.

Perhaps we shouldn't be as harsh on her as we are on Honami Ichinose. After all, for a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl who is still a child, being able to recognize her family's circumstances and try not to cause trouble for her mother is already a sign that she has reached the standard of being sensible.

The only thing she couldn't match in her sister was her peaceful mindset.

Ichinose Maki chose to entrust all her hopes and dreams to the artists on stage. Watching her favorite person captivate the crowd under the spotlight felt like she was flying to heaven as well. Under the flashing neon lights, Ichinose Maki stopped and looked at her idol on the street screen.

The hair clip on the other person's head was glowing.

For the first time, she had a strong desire for something.

While other girls crowded around admiring her hair clip, Ichinose Maki sat in her seat wearing the most fashionable style of the year. While her classmates showed it off during break, she held her textbook and read it word by word. Every word seemed unfamiliar to her. She was as serious as a first-grader who had just learned the Japanese syllabary. She didn't turn a single page during the entire break.

Honami Ichinose never cared about her birthday. Every time she heard her friends say that "birthdays only come once a year," she would silently think to herself, "Isn't every day the same as once a year?"

However, she pays attention to her younger sister's birthday. Ichinose Maki only acts a little spoiled on her birthday, which is almost not spoiled at all, and her mother and Ichinose Honami always try their best to satisfy her.

But when she noticed her sister's recent preferences, she faced a dilemma for the first time. The hair clip, being the most fashionable style at the time, wasn't cheap. It wasn't that the family couldn't afford it, but spending that much money just for a hair clip...

During the summer vacation when Honami Ichinose was in her second year of junior high school, on her younger sister's birthday, she and her sister walked along a long tree-lined street. The two of them passed by the entrance of that department store countless times, where the hair clip was proudly displayed in the glass window as the best-selling item at the time.

Honami Ichinose held Maki Ichinose's hand. Sunlight filtered through the dappled leaves, casting dappled patterns on the ground. Their shadows were fragmented into pieces. Honami was unsure whether she wanted Maki to say she wanted the hair clip or if she wanted her sister to be as...sensible as ever.

"elder sister."

She was almost startled; Ichinose Maki was looking up at her.

"For my birthday this year, I want to eat two, no, three ice creams."

"...It's easy to get an upset stomach."

"You only get one birthday a year, right?"

Ichinose Maki turned her head away like that.

But deep down, she also harbored a tiny bit of hope. Ichinose glanced furtively at the hair clip, and sighed softly, as if making a wish upon a candle on a non-existent cake:

The price of this hair clip should drop a bit next year.

-------------------------------------

Three important things happened during Honami Ichinose's third year of junior high school.

Aside from the aforementioned fact that she became the student council president, the second thing was that a new neighbor suddenly moved in across the hall.

It was early July, just as summer vacation had begun.

It was a strange combination of a boy about the same age as him and a cat.

The opportunity for her to meet him was that pure white cat.

When they first moved in, they were still arranging their furniture. To make things easier, they kept the door open. A white cat lying lazily on the shipping container immediately caught the attention of the Ichinose sisters. Ichinose Maki, who was the younger one, had almost no resistance to such a cute, furry creature. Although she was usually a bit timid, she dared to approach little by little this time, as if she wanted to reach out and touch it.

"Meow."

The white cat didn't try to avoid it, letting the little hand stroke its round head.

"Hello, sorry to bother you, it will be over in about half an hour."

Seemingly wondering if Ichinose was bothered by the containers piled up in the corridor, the boy who came out of the room stepped forward and apologized.

"Ah...it's nothing. I'm Honami Ichinose, who lives next door. This is my younger sister, Maki Ichinose. Our mother isn't home."

Honami Ichinose is fearless towards strangers and her manners are impeccable.

"I will pay a formal visit later."

Kitagawa Ryo nodded, seemingly noticing their affection for the white cat, and smiled as he spoke:

"This is my cat, he's very well-behaved."

"I am Kitagawa Ryo, nice to meet you."

The boy, nearly 1.8 meters tall, was almost a head taller than Ichinose. He wore a loose hoodie and black jeans, with a strong and well-proportioned physique and a straight back. He carried a cardboard box full of odds and ends in his right hand with ease. His dark hair was slightly long and covered his eyebrows. His handsome features had a somewhat cold and hard look. The most striking feature was his pair of deep pupils, like a deep pool of water, making it impossible to know what he was thinking.

"Kitagawa... Ryo, is that right?"

"I'm Honami Ichinose, who lives next door. Nice to meet you!"

With her usual enthusiastic smile, Honami Ichinose reached out her hand to Ryo Kitagawa.

"Oh."

"Please take care of me."

The windows, which hadn't yet had curtains installed, were wide open, and the early summer sky was somewhat dazzling in the dry, hot wind.

For some reason, Honami Ichinose's thoughts suddenly drifted to her younger sister's birthday this year, and she also thought of her mother who had suddenly started working overtime these past two days.

Kitagawa Ryo lowered his eyes and reached out his hand.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the silly cat happily playing with the little girl, and he murmured to himself:

"Ichinose...?"

Chapter 3: The Guilty Ones (Part 2)

The conflict between the mother and younger sister erupted the day after Ichinose Honami's younger sister's birthday.

She had just picked up her medication as prescribed. The hospital corridor—or rather, the entire hospital—was pale in color. There weren't many people in the corridor, and everyone was trying to keep their voices down. Their fear and unease about their loved ones made their expressions look strikingly similar, as if they were wearing masks of different sizes but the same shape, masks composed of fear, solemnity, and a faint glimmer of expectation.

But Ichinose Honami's presence instantly brightened up the area around her, whether it was because of her bright hair color, her energetic figure, or both.

The air conditioning in the hospital was just right. Although you could feel the heat radiating from the blazing sun outside through the glass windows, it was only cool inside. But when Ichinose Honami thought about how she had come here because her mother was sick, her mood gradually sank.

Before entering the ward, Ichinose used the reflection in the glass to smooth out the wrinkles at her collar, checking it over from top to bottom one last time. Then, she took a deep breath, gently patted her cheeks with the right amount of pressure, which brought a slight stinging sensation. Her pure and lovely face blossomed into the most perfect smile she had shown countless times.

She didn't want her mother and sister to worry; she couldn't let her mother and sister worry.

Honami Ichinose placed her right hand on the doorknob of the ward; it was a pale white handle that matched the hospital's color scheme.

The sound of arguing came from inside; it was a desperate roar, almost an outburst of suppressed emotions.

My younger sister, who had just begun to go through puberty, spoke with an unprecedentedly sharp tone, like a bird of prey pecking at its mother layer by layer with its sharp beak until it saw the bloody nerves beneath the flesh.

The daughter was cursing her mother.

She couldn't compare to girls her age in terms of food, clothing, parents, or love. Nothing could satisfy her heart, not even a little bit of vanity.

Ichinose Maki poured out her grievances; things that adults might scoff at were like the end of the world to her.

Children lack rationality.

Elementary school students often complain about things that adults can't understand, such as a friend making a new friend, or accidentally spilling their lunch and making a fool of themselves in front of the whole class. They might also complain about being tired after finishing a tutoring class and putting down their schoolbags.

Ichinose Maki is that kind of child. For the past year, she has been longing for that hair clip, even though the fashion trends in her class have changed several times over. She still insists on it obsessively and almost irrationally.

It was as if as long as she could wear that hair clip, she could accept the endurance she had endured for the past year.

The mother apologized desperately, her words broken and fragmented by the incessant coughing. She seemed to want to stand up and take her daughter's hand, but in the end, she could only manage to straighten half of her body. Sunlight streamed in from the window, casting a small, thin silhouette on the wall.

The shadow looked fragile and helpless, and also a little old.

She finally covered her face with her hands and cried.

Meanwhile, Ichinose Maki's voice broke into fragments of words and symbols, and large tears rolled down her face. She dared not look at the person on the bed, but she was still muttering to herself.

From lunchboxes to stationery, from not being able to take out her phone when exchanging contact information to being afraid to go out with classmates, and then to the hair clip she wanted.

As if on purpose, Ichinose Maki became more and more engrossed in talking, digging out all the things she had kept bottled up inside her in front of her mother, from the deepest well.

She laid bare all her past feelings and memories, leaving them scattered on the ground without any intention of tidying them up. Ichinose Maki just stood there numbly and wearily, watching the fragments of her emotions scattered everywhere, winding and twisting like a dark snake.

Honami Ichinose's hand was still on the doorknob, her warm palm pressed tightly against the metal casing, as if she wanted to clench the doorknob into her hand.

For the first time, she felt a chilling, lifeless cold that seemed to drain all the warmth from her body.

The chilling sensation traveled from his fingertips through the nerve center of his brain to his entire body, as if withering from the point of contact. This sensation was manifested through temperature differences and tactile sensations, forming vivid images and scenes in Ichinose Honami's mind.

Honami Ichinose felt dizzy and disoriented, and for the first time wondered if the air conditioning in the hospital was set too low.

What terrified Honami Ichinose even more was that although she felt her sister's words were really too much, she didn't have the courage to scold her.

Or rather, she felt deep down that she wasn't qualified.

Honami Ichinose felt she should do something, but at that moment her legs seemed to have suddenly lost their strength, or rather, she didn't know what use she was. She bit her lower lip with such force that it almost turned white, and dragged her legs to the end of the corridor. She squatted down little by little, hugged her knees, and tears fell drop by drop.

When she came to her senses and went back into the ward, everything inside was in complete disarray, leaving only her weeping mother and the horrific remains of the Ichinose family home.

Her once barren heart suddenly seemed to sprout dense weeds, and a jumble of thoughts filled her mind. Ichinose Honami involuntarily asked herself again and again:

If I get that hair clip... my sister will smile again, and everything will be alright.

From that moment on, Ichinose Honami seemed to clearly see a dark and shameful part of herself, something completely different from her outward appearance.

Is that her? Is it Honami Ichinose?

Who else could it be but her?

Honami Ichinose dared not delve any further into her own heart; she simply continued numbly, repeating the same routine of going back and forth between the hospital and home.

At home, there is a younger sister who has lost her smile, and in the hospital, there is a mother who is bedridden.

Honami Ichinose was sandwiched between two walls, and these two walls were closing in, compressing the air she could breathe inch by inch.

That day was still a blazing sunny day, the summer sky a breathtakingly blue.

Ichinose Honami walked towards the department store. Iris flowers were blooming sparsely in the green belt along the roadside. The wind in the air was sticky and hot. Ichinose Honami drifted into the crowd like a ghost.

She stared blankly at the crowd in front of her, walking through them expressionlessly. These old people, young people, and children all seemed to have turned into the black and white gibberish on the screens of television programs from her childhood, before they even started airing, utterly devoid of any interest.

Honami Ichinose walked up to the hair clip counter, which was no longer the bustling place it had been a year ago, heavily promoted. Dozens of neatly packaged little boxes lay there quietly, just like the fruits and vegetables she often frequented in the nearby food section.

But the five-figure price tag on the small ornaments highlighted their uniqueness. Ichinose Honami unconsciously calculated how many days this number could support their family's expenses, but she quickly felt ashamed of this subconscious behavior.

The value of this item is not determined by its price. Ultimately, it's just a hair clip, and in terms of practicality, it's not fundamentally different from those cheap hair clips.