Want to be human, but cube-like

Volume 1: Chapter 185 What's left between us?

Temperatures remained unfriendly into late winter.

As she ran at high speed, the biting air felt like shards of glass being poured into her nasal cavity, scraping her throat and causing unbearable pain.

But she didn't care about such things.

She was powerless to care about the pain.

Never before had Aine felt such a strong urge to run faster, to run to a place where no one could find her.

Her plain white flat shoes made messy footsteps on the ground, and the rhythm of her skirt slapping against her knees gradually became disordered. In her mind, she had already cast aside everything she had thought about when she left Ring.

All of that is no longer important.

At this moment, decisions about whether to study abroad or to go public with a relationship all seem particularly ridiculous.

Until she exhausted her last bit of strength, until Ai-yin's throat began to feel a burning, stinging pain.

She slowed her pace, placed her hands on her knees, bent over, and stood still, panting, trying to calm her rapid breathing.

Before she knew it, Aiyin had run to a quiet, deserted neighborhood. The surrounding area seemed to be an office building area. It was a little after 2 p.m., which was the time when white-collar workers finished their lunch break and went back to work. There was not a single person in sight.

Her thoughts were still in disarray, and the words Xiangzi had spoken kept echoing in her ears.

He kept reminding her that he hadn't misheard.

Taken aback, Aine couldn't help but recall every moment she spent with Alex and every detail Alex revealed to her.

It was only then that she remembered that Alex had actually said it from the very beginning, on the very day they first met.

She shares the same name as Alex's mother.

Their voices are also very similar.

Alex herself said that when she calls out the name "Aion," she always thinks of her mother.

They should have realized all of this much earlier.

With one hand tightly clutching her chest, enduring the discomfort from rapid breathing after running at full speed, Aine's eyes were filled with an unconcealable sadness that seemed about to spill over.

Even on the night Alex first took her home.

Outside the door of her house, at the moment when Alex called out to Aine and confessed her feelings.

No, looking back now, that wasn't really a confession at all, was it?

Alex herself didn't know what her true feelings were. She only said that this affection was different from that of Xiao Xiang and Xiao Le Nai.

Of course they are different.

She said that she felt a sense of familiarity when she first met her, but that was probably just because her voice sounded like her mother's.

She said that even though they had only just met, she felt very familiar with each other. That was probably just because of this sense of similarity, which matched her mother's.

She also said that she would like to hear her own voice...

All of this was simply due to my misunderstanding of Alex's thoughts and my misinterpretation of Alex's feelings.

When Aine recalled Alex's words about liking her that night, each word was given a clearer understanding in her heart.

Yes, Alex said she liked her.

But Alex also said that she didn't know why she liked her.

She couldn't understand this feeling, which is why she spoke so ambiguously, causing Aine to misunderstand.

Alex has never actually hidden any of her thoughts.

More than once, when facing Aine, he said that she was like a mother to him.

The truth of the matter has always been laid bare before Aine; she could see it simply by reaching out and touching it.

But she never took it to heart.

At this moment, Aine truly understood that in Alex's eyes, she had always been nothing more than a reflection of her mother.

She was just a substitute.

A feeling of grievance rose in her heart, and a sadness that she didn't know who to confide in gathered in her eyes, turning them a light red.

Aiyin, whose breathing was still not completely steady and whose heart was still pounding, only heard another set of footsteps behind her as she regained some strength.

“Aine!”

That familiar shout, which she had heard countless times over the past month, once again pierced Aine's ears, making her want to take a step and run away.

But she eventually stopped, adjusted her expression, and turned around to face the other person.

Perhaps it's all just a misunderstanding on my part?

An almost fantastical thought kept popping into my mind.

"Ai, Ai Lili... What a coincidence! You're out for a run too?"

She avoided eye contact, one hand on her chest, her head bowed in an attempt to conceal her expression with her disheveled hair.

"Isn't the burger joint busy...?"

His seemingly nonchalant words carried an undeniable sense of panic.

"I...I felt the weather was pretty nice today, so I went for a run this afternoon to get some exercise..."

Aiyin spoke haltingly, her words even sounding jumbled up.

"sorry!"

However, Alex was unaware of Aine's desire to escape as if nothing had happened.

This option never existed in her mind.

"Actually, I've always regarded Aine as my mother..."

Alex poured out the words she had been pondering for so long, words that she had found difficult to utter, all at once to Aine. She dared not look directly into Aine's eyes.

"I don't understand what it means to treat Aine as a substitute. I just subconsciously look for my mother's shadow in Aine..."

"Xiangzi said that this is wrong, and I must explain it to Aine... But I'm scared, scared that saying it will hurt Aine, so..."

So she kept procrastinating, hoping that everything could remain unchanged.

Then, they reaped the bitter fruits of their actions.

"..."

In an instant, Ai Yin, forced to accept reality, fell completely silent.

She lowered her head.

"What else...?"

Ai Yin parted her lips slightly with difficulty and asked softly.

"Besides your feelings for your mother, Ellie, has there ever been any emotion between us that has nothing to do with your mother?"

She knew that Alex couldn't answer that question at all.

"..."

A suffocating silence spread between the two.

"I have no idea……"

The whispered reply echoed in the air, making the breeze seem even colder and stinging the skin.

"So...so everything before that was fake?"

With red eyes and a trembling voice, Ai Yin spoke.

"...No! That's not it!"

A bewildered Alex retorted hastily.

"If not, then tell me... about us..."

She gripped the collar of her shirt so tightly that her fingertips turned white, almost tearing the fabric apart.

"What's left of our relationship that's real?"

"I……"

Alex's silence shattered their hearts, plunging them into a desolate emptiness.

"I'm sorry... I was just being presumptuous..."

With a slight sob in her voice, Aine left these words behind. Having regained some strength, she took a step and left the place.

Only Alex remained, standing there dejectedly, her eyes filled with unspeakable confusion and sadness.

On one side of the corner of the wall, the blue-haired girl who had followed them stood silently, watching the two figures from behind.

She didn't know what to do.

…………

PS: So, it's all about stacking up the boomerangs before you can start the fight.

The boomerang also has two stages; Aine will have to eat it again after they recognize each other.

That's why I spent so much time writing about Aine and Alex's first love, and how I'll live off her for the rest of my life.

I have to write it down, so I feel upset whenever someone asks when we'll reunite.

By the way, it's been a while since I've written a plot like this, so I'm a little rusty. I used to be able to write heart-wrenching scenes with ease, but now I feel the emotions aren't quite there. I wonder if I've regressed.

Volume 1: Chapter 186 Escape

It's almost mid-March.

As temperatures gradually rise in Tokyo, a slight chilly wind still blows before evening.

Carrying a bag full of various documents, Xiangzi slowly walked back from the station. Seeing the deserted entrance of the hamburger shop, he sighed silently.

During this time, she was preparing to enroll in Haneoka Girls' Academy.

Because the beginning of next month, which is April 1st, is the start of the first year of high school.

There are still some procedures that Tsukinomori needs to handle.

As for the follow-up matters of the unified entrance examination, Xiangzi had to handle them personally because he had dropped out of school early.

Therefore, they are all too busy to have time to take care of other things.

Perhaps that's why the burger shop recently closed down.

Although in essence, this matter should not be blamed on Xiangzi, she still felt that she should bear most of the responsibility.

If I hadn't inadvertently revealed that thing, allowing Aine to overhear...

If only I hadn't failed to guide Alex's views on relationships properly...

If I hadn't missed the time to try and persuade Alex...

...But, there are no ifs. The accident she caused was merely the fuse.

Alex, who had become extremely depressed, had no intention of opening her business for a while and spent her days locked in the sky island, doing who-knows-what.

Sometimes, Xiangzi would manage to find a moment to check on her, but he could only feel a headache coming on and be at a loss for what to do about the dejected Alex.

Even Aine's side is the same.

Rather, it's more of a tricky situation.

Ever since Aine ran away from her and Alex that day, Shoko has found that neither she nor Alex can contact Aine anymore.

Not only has the other party never come to the burger shop again since then, but the messages he sent her on Line have also remained unread. Even when she calls him directly, the call only rings until it automatically hangs up.

Alex, the only one who knew where Aine's home was, never left the house. Except for going back to her room to sleep as soon as it got dark, it was almost impossible to see Alex leave the Sky Island.

I wonder if Renai will be able to contact Aine.

Unfortunately, Xiangzi was the only one among them who couldn't find Lena.

However, she did run into Lena once when she was going out, but after seeing that the burger shop was closed, Lena turned around and left without Xiangzi even having a chance to call her back.

For a time, the situation was completely deadlocked.