The Bizarre Adventures of the Oil Man, but Starting with Warhammer 32K

The Bizarre Adventures of the Oil Man, but Starting from Warhammer 32K by smz

Do you believe in Imperial Truth?

I really admire the first person who made a deal with the Four Gods. Maybe he would become paralyzed on the toilet.

Yellow skin, when I make a subspace water pump, I will definitely make you awaken

People will eventually step down from the Golden Throne

Let me say it again, technology is about to accelerate!

Solar Tomahawk

Thor Mecha

Arc Generator

Hyperspace Channel

Warp Drive

"Cybercles"

Ether Phase Engine

"Oum Messiah Reborn"

Having said that——

"Made in Stellaris!"

Serious version:

Leon, who has traveled to the remote Warhammer of the M32 era, has become a soulless man. With the knowledge he gained from many other science fiction works before traveling through time, he transformed himself into a priest of the Mechanicum. While reproducing the technologies of various other worlds in the Warhammer universe, he began to spread the light of reason brought by the truth of the empire and technology in this cesspool of universe.

Punch the greenskins, kick the chaos, gather the traitor legions, and reshape the future of mankind...

In theory, this should be the case

Looking at the tightly closed gate of the Terra Palace, Leon said with tears in his eyes:

"Open the door! I'm really here to save the emperor from the toilet!"

Chapter 1: Armed Grave Digging, and then being hunted by Abaddon

What would it feel like to be hit in the face by a boarding torpedo?

Leon had experienced it before, but he couldn't explain it clearly. When the huge black iron rod penetrated the armor and brushed his face into the cabin, he had already fainted due to the huge vibration and the whistling of the air in the cabin suddenly leaking out due to the damage to the cabin.

But the next moment, Leon was forcibly awakened by the device on his body. The cardiac stimulant directly stimulated his nerve center along his iron spine. As the little flesh and blood left in his body, his brain received the stimulation keenly and issued forced feedback to the body, pulling Leon's consciousness back from the depths of darkness after being unconscious for less than half a second.

Leon, who had regained consciousness, suddenly looked up and happened to meet the first black-armored Space Marine who had just emerged from the boarding torpedo. The Space Marine raised his gun and fired. The muzzle of the grenade launcher spewed out a fierce tongue of fire. In an instant, the deadly bomb was in front of Leon!

Leon snorted, but remained unfazed. The explosives before him were swallowed by a thin, pale blue veil. Before his oxygen mask dropped, he twitched a mocking expression at the black-armored Astartes. This clearly infuriated the Space Marine, who unhesitatingly dropped his bolter and charged at Leon, chainsword raised. However, when his swinging chainsword was also blocked by the pale blue veil, a look of surprise inevitably crossed his face.

"Isn't that a change of stance?" he asked.

"Energy shield, kid!" Leon grinned. He kicked the opponent away and pulled out the solar battle axe from his backhand. This weapon originated from StarCraft and was powered by an Eldar soul stone. It looked very powerful.

Seeing the bad situation, the black-armored Astartes leaned sideways, trying to use his thickest shoulder armor to block Leon's counterattack, but Leon simply turned the button on the solar battle axe, and the solar battle axe suddenly burst into light and was swung like a whirlwind in his hand. The huge force combined with the decomposition point on the axe blade chopped the black-armored Astartes in front of him in half from shoulder to waist like a hot knife cutting through butter.

"And the solar-powered battle axe." Leon kicked the half-dead body blocking his way to the ground. "You know, I'm always ready to embrace the glory of battle."

Having lost the half second opportunity when Leon was initially unconscious, the remaining four Space Marines who had just emerged from the boarding torpedo posed no threat to Leon at all. A plasma gun automatically unfolded from the mechanical backpack behind him, and the Space Marines who wanted to fight back from the boarding torpedo were killed one by one by the loyal fully automatic plasma gun.

The fifth and final Space Marine waited until the ion gun overheated before suddenly jumping out from behind the boarding torpedo and rushing straight towards Leon. However, as the servitor behind him pulled the trigger, a big hole was melted in the chest of this last Space Marine, and he fell to the ground without a sound.

"The sudden change in air pressure caused you to be unconscious for 0.43 seconds, and you displayed many useless emotions during the battle, which slowed your combat efficiency, Sage Leon." The servo skull recording data nearby warned coldly, "I still recommend further transformation of your body, especially replacing your fragile human brain."

"But having a human head can show the difference between me and them, right?" Leon stepped on the corpse of the black-armored Space Marine and spat at the Chaos Eight-pointed Star symbol on his forehead with disdain.

He changed the subject: "Show me the current situation of my Ark. That damn Abaddon, what's his business if I stole Fabius Bile's things? Is it worth mobilizing such a large force to hunt me down?"

"Strictly speaking, that's not just Fabius Bile's stuff, Sage Leon." The servitor following Leon kindly pointed out the problem: "If the DNA you stole wasn't Abaddon's father's, I think he would be happy to enjoy Fabius Bile instead of leading a team to hunt you down personally."

"He destroyed the cloned Horus and took back Horus' body, but he didn't clean up properly, allowing Fabius Bile to leave Horus' DNA sample. I didn't intend to take Horus' body. I only took the Horus DNA that Fabius had hidden from him. And Abaddon blames me?" Leon yelled. Without even turning around, he asked, "What's the current situation of the Ark Mechanicus? How much time do we have?"

The servo skull floating beside Leon's shoulder projected an overview of the Ark, showing Leon the situation of the mechanical Ark in detail. The dense red warning lights on it showed the Ark's precarious state. The servo beside him explained diligently:

"The Ark Mechanical Truth was boarded by the Black Legion. After several advance Terminator squads were deployed aboard and destroyed some of the plasma engines, the enemy launched dozens of boarding torpedoes into different parts of the hull and launched landing craft at the Truth, which lacked the ability to counter the boarding attack."

"Right now, approximately two hundred Chaos Space Marines are gradually clearing out our resistance forces on the Ark Mechanicus and tightening the encirclement. Considering the enemy's continued reinforcements, we calculate that the existing Skitarii can only maintain effective resistance for approximately three more hours. One hour, ten minutes, and twenty-three seconds before the Skitarii collapse, we will be faced with Chaos Space Marines no matter which passage we take."

"Where's the gene room where Horus' DNA is stored? I need to get there first."

"Going forward, we will directly encounter three Black Legion Space Marine squads, including a Terminator squad."

Leon paused, and looked outside through the broken porthole of the Truth. There, a stern black warship was quietly floating not far from the Truth, and the huge cannon facing the Truth seemed to be mocking Leon's arrogance.

He was confident that he could deal with the three Chaos Space Marine squads including the Terminators, but the Great Plunderer Abaddon was on the battleship not far away, looking at Leon's mechanical Ark with the eyes of a hunter. The battleship that was facing the Truth with its macro cannon was the sword of Damocles hanging over Leon's head.

Abaddon only arranged for people to board the Ark now because he still wanted to capture the mechanical Ark to achieve greater results. If the Chaos Space Marines who came to board the Ark lost contact one after another, he had no doubt that the man with the pigtails would directly use the macro cannon to send the mechanical Ark into the sky.

As the owner and captain of the Mechanical Ark Truth, Leon knew clearly that this monkey-version Mechanical Ark, which was transformed from a Moon-class cruiser, could not withstand the main gun of a battleship at all.

Speed ​​was originally the Truth's only advantage against battleships...

But when this Chaos warship suddenly teleported in front of the Truth in a strange way that violated the rules of the Warp and used teleportation to board and destroy part of the plasma engine on the Truth, death was only a matter of time for the Ark.

As a soulless being, Leon, who didn't worry about his soul being toyed with by the four vendors after death, was never afraid of sacrifice. He even prepared a melta bomb on his body as a glory bomb. If Abaddon were to personally board him, he would not hesitate to detonate the melta bomb and take Abaddon to watch the most beautiful fireworks. But that was not the case now.

Horus's DNA held many possibilities for Leon, but it wasn't worth risking his life for. Leon wasn't prepared to go see Old Man Huang just for Horus's DNA. Even if no one had reminded him that he still had many things to do, he had no intention of going to Old Man Huang to rest just yet.

"Abandon the gene room and head for the escape pod instead." Leon made a calm decision. "Abaddon wants Horus' DNA, so let him take it back. There are more truly valuable things in this universe than just one."

"Instructions received, proceed to the escape pod." The servo skull flickered. "Based on the current position, estimated arrival time is thirteen minutes and thirteen seconds."

The mechanical servant beside him objected to Leon's decision. "Sage, besides DNA, this Ark also contains many valuable items, including archaeological finds and proprietary inventions that you have not yet reported to the Forge World. Are you sure you want to abandon this mechanical Ark?"

"The only truly valuable thing on this ship is my head." Leon tapped the last of his remaining human structure. "As long as I'm alive, the knowledge we once acquired won't be lost."

"But there's a chance those items could fall into the hands of heretics, who might discover the secrets of your unique inventions and bring further disaster to the loyal subjects of the Empire."

"At best, they can only use it, but they won't be able to figure out how to manufacture it."

Leon weighed the solar-powered battle axe in his hand. This was also one of his proprietary "inventions". For a reason that he could not tell others, he was quite certain that Abaddon could not crack it.

He took a deep look at the servitor that served as his experimental assistant. He had retained a considerable portion of its human consciousness when he had modified it, and it had indeed displayed a human subjectivity that even he himself could hardly imagine. "Now, come with me to the escape pod. There is a small escape boat there, large enough for the two of us."

The servitor was silent for a moment, as if his human mind was at war with the programming logic implanted when he was transformed into a servitor. But in the end, he lowered his head and humbly said, "Your will, my lord."

The two hurried through the battle zone on the Ark Mechanicus, heading for the escape pod. After killing several Chaos Space Marines along the way, Leon and his servitor finally reached the escape pod area. There, a small escape ship, modified by Leon himself, was docked, awaiting its user.

"I've modified this escape ship. It's equipped with a special small subspace engine and a Geller Field, which is enough for us to make a short subspace jump." Leon said to the servitor, opening the hatch of the escape ship. "You disconnect the safety connection between the escape ship and the mechanical ark outside, then come up. We'll leave here together. Do you understand?"

The servitor nodded and began to work. Leon entered the escape ship and checked the various equipment—especially the Geller's station—to see if it was still functioning properly. Once he had confirmed everything, he raised his hand and beckoned the servitor to enter the escape pod. However, the servitor outside shook its head and closed the hatch.

"What are you doing!" Leon was a little annoyed. He tried to directly manipulate the underlying code of the robot servant, but was stopped by the robot servant.

"Sage Leon," the servitor said earnestly, "although you never gave me a name, I believe you still remember your first encounter with me. I am grateful to you for saving me from the clutches of the Ecclesiarchy and transforming me, condemned to mindless enslavement, into a servitor with some degree of thinking ability. I often wonder why I still retain some human thought. Of course, I am your servitor, serving as your experimental assistant, but at the same time, I also hope to make greater contributions as a human, perhaps even sacrificing my life to stop the enemies of Chaos."

"The mechanical Ark is uniquely constructed, lacking a navigator or captain. You are the only one aboard this Ark with the authority to activate its self-destruct system upon arrival at the control room. I hope you will grant me a chance, the honor of dying gloriously as a human. Grant me the Ark's self-destruct authority. I will go to the control room and activate the self-destruction and overload the engines. I will destroy any possibility of the enemy seizing any of your creations, and bring a final end to those still aboard the Truth."

Leon pursed his lips as he looked at his servitor, sadness spreading through his mind. His intellect, including every computer device on his body, was reminding him that keeping the servitor would be beneficial to his escape.

But he possessed more than just rationality. Unlike other Mechanicus sages who had uploaded their consciousnesses to computers and used emotion modulators to simulate human emotions, Leon, who still possessed a human brain, could still savor the emotions that belonged to humans. He chewed on this bitter emotion and nodded at his servitor.

The servitor didn't smile. Previous modifications had long since deprived him of the ability to express emotion, but Leon could sense his satisfaction. He disconnected the safety connection of the escape device and sent the small escape craft into the launch port. At the end of the launch window, he didn't perform the Mechanicus's gear salute to Leon, but instead crossed his arms in the Skyhawk salute.

"May the Divine Emperor bless you, Sage Li Ang."

"I do not believe in the Emperor, but I believe in the wisdom and courage of mankind." Leon replied in a low voice: "Do what you want to do, as a human being."

The escape ship ignited its engines, propelling Leon inside into the vast universe. The servo gradually vanished from Leon's sight, replaced by a panoramic view of the battered Truth. The servo skull told Leon that the chances of a servo reaching the control room and detonating the Ark under these conditions were close to zero. Yet, Leon felt a certainty that he would succeed.

"There are always things in this world that cannot be calculated by probability." Leon tapped his servoskull mockingly. He connected his cables to the Cogitator system in the escape ship and began calculating the data required for the emergency warp jump. Although it was an undirected emergency jump without heading to Manvider Point, the required data still required some time to calculate if he didn't want to be lost forever in the warp.

Leon believed that Abaddon would give him this time, and indeed it was so.

When the chief auspex on the Chaos warship reported to Abaddon that the auspex had detected a small escape craft, he was met with an unhappy rebuke from the Great Plunderer.

"An escape ship? Where can he escape to?! An escape ship that can't even navigate within a solar system will end up floating in space forever, or forced to land on a nearby planet." Abaddon sneered, "I think this sage is just desperate. Ignore him. Tell the warriors on the mechanical ark to reach the control room at all costs and seize control of this ark!"

His gaze lingered on the mechanical ark, his eyes full of greed. The Black Legion had just been established and was in a state of disrepair. The continuous battles to subjugate various war gangs had already exhausted the Black Legion's reserves. At this time, a mechanical ark was delivered to the door - even if it was just a small mechanical ark modified by a little sage himself, the technology and various production equipment on it would definitely alleviate the Black Legion's urgent needs.

This foolish Mechanicus Magus had put his entire fortune at his doorstep in order to steal Fabius Bile's DNA, and now he had fled without even having the chance to detonate the Ark. This cowardice, mirroring the cowardice of the Magi who stood by and watched helplessly on Mars during the Battle of Terra, filled Abaddon with confidence. He would surely seize this opportunity and lead the Black Legion to another victory!

But victory did not come as promised.

The window reflected the scene of the mechanical Ark suddenly bursting into a ball of brilliant sparks and then being destroyed in the explosion. It also reflected Abaddon's astonished eyes. He suddenly stood up from his throne and walked quickly to the window. Suddenly, he turned and walked to the trembling Auspicious Master.

"Where is the escape ship of that Mechanicus Magus! He must pay for this!" Abaddon roared.

"Its escape ship is still displayed on the auspex. It has hardly moved since the beginning." The auspex chief pointed at the auspex with trembling hands. "Now... oh no, my God!"

Abaddon rudely pushed the auspicious master aside and personally examined the information displayed on the auspicious instrument. He saw a violent Warp fluctuation on the escape ship, and then the auspicious instrument was completely blank. Such a significant signal could only point to one possibility: this escape ship, too large to be equipped with a Warp engine, had escaped using a Warp jump and was now out of Abaddon's control.

The Great Plunderer was silent for a while, then he punched the divination instrument with such force that it shattered the entire instrument.

Iskandar Khayon, the Thousand Sons sorcerer who had just cast a spell to teleport the entire battleship and was resting, hurried to the bridge. Seeing the current scene and understanding what had happened, he walked to Abaddon's side and whispered comfortingly:

"We have already won, Abaddon. There is no need to be so angry."

"Victory?" Abaddon turned to look at Khayon. Even though the other party was a "brother" he had personally recruited, he couldn't put on a good face right now. "The Ark of the Machine was destroyed, the Mechanicus Sage escaped, and besides those quick-made cannon fodder, I also lost two teams of Terminators - brothers who have fought alongside me since the Legion era! This result, you call it a victory?"

"Yes, victory!" Khayon raised his voice slightly. "Although it came at a price, we have captured Fabius Bile's evidence, thwarted the plot to steal Horus' genes, demonstrated the authority of the Chaos Warmaster, and told everyone that no matter the cost, the dignity of the Black Legion cannot be challenged! Your growing prestige will help you better organize the Second Black Crusade you long for!"

"Abaddon, this is a victory! A victory that disregards immediate interests and focuses on the future! A typical Abaddon victory!"

Abaddon watched Khayon deliver his impassioned speech, his fists clenching and unclenching as he spoke, revealing his turbulent mood. But he finally accepted Khayon's words: "Yes, my brother, this is a victory."

Hearing Abaddon's words, the almost frozen air in the bridge began to flow again. The mortal crew members took a deep breath and began to be glad that they would not be executed for failure.

"I will announce this as a victory to the outside world, but I don't want any mortal who knows about this to leave here, so as to avoid the spread of rumors." Abaddon said coldly, "There will be nothing left here except victory."

Khayon nodded, psychic flames swirling between his hands. "As it should be."

Abaddon left the bridge without looking back. The wailing of the mortals behind him did not make him feel any better.

In the distant era of 540.M32, the great Chaos Warmaster Abaddon the Despoiler once again tasted a bitter victory.

He still didn't know the name of the Mechanicus sage who had escaped, but he would know it one day, because Leon's story was about to begin from this moment.

PS: I won't travel to other worlds, I'll just put some other styles of things into Warhammer 15

Chapter 2 Looking Back

Li Ang is a time traveler.

In an age where time-travel novels are everywhere online, such an identity does not seem uncommon, but what if the world is Warhammer?

At least Leon had never thought about traveling to Warhammer. He loved all kinds of hard and soft science fiction works, knew about Warhammer, painted chess pieces, and jokingly agreed to the Warhammer conscription agreement written in the user agreement while playing the Warhammer game. But when he was actually brought to Warhammer by a dump truck, the only thing he could think of was to escape.

Are you kidding me? Who would think of jumping into a cesspool?

But coming here is easy, leaving here is hard. Having confirmed that he didn't have a game-like login and logout system, and that he couldn't figure out if he'd die again and could return to his original world, Leon could only accept the fact that he'd traveled to Warhammer.

Fortunately, his birthplace wasn't bad; it wasn't some primitive planet with medieval technology and no future. Instead, he had traveled to the renowned Forge World, the Hive City of Acheron VIII. Furthermore, the time coincided with the aftermath of the Horus Heresy, when the Forge World and the entire Imperium of Man were in ruins.

Although it was not a turbulent era, it was just right for Leon. After all, the human empire that was revived after the Horus Heresy was in a prosperous period that needed all kinds of technical talents. The environment was relatively safe and there was no lack of room for advancement.

With the golden finger that every time traveler possesses, Leon, who infiltrated the Mechanicus, began as a mechanical apprentice and steadily rose in status through his contributions. After achieving the status of a sage in the Mechanicus, Leon without hesitation used all his wealth to purchase a Moon-class cruiser, transforming it into his own mere mechanical ark and embarking on archaeological excavations across the universe.

Such behavior is not uncommon among the Mechanicus who pursue the ancient STC template, but Leon's purpose is fundamentally different from those sages who pursue the STC. His actions are more in the service of his golden finger - his head full of knowledge that does not belong to this universe.

After traveling to Warhammer, Leon discovered that the design drawings of various products in the science fiction works that he had been obsessed with had materialized in his mind. They seemed to have transformed from virtual concepts proposed in a work into things that could actually be manufactured.

Leon once suspected whether this strange knowledge came from a "gift" from a blue bird-headed man, but the characteristics of an untouchable person in him initially dispelled his doubts.

After joining the Adeptus Mechanicus, Leon set out to directly reproduce the details of these blueprints using the resources at his disposal, but each attempt ended in failure. With increasing experience, Leon gradually realized that due to the different rules between different universes, the blueprints and designs from other works were not directly applicable to the Warhammer universe. However, by discovering and mastering similar scientific and technological features within the Warhammer universe, and adding a little ingenuity, Leon was able to use the "Warhammer way" to reproduce the technical equipment of other universes in his own hands.

While the resulting production line could function flawlessly in anyone's hands, replicating the technology from other works within Warhammer required Leon's expertise. Leon had previously experimented with creating a blueprint, preparing the materials, and then having another sage create the device based on it. However, the sage simply couldn't grasp the manufacturing process, and even if he followed the blueprint step by step, he would ultimately fail.

Only when Leon personally completes this "design from another world" and teaches it to others, can others learn the tricks behind it.

This is very strange, as if these drawings and designs did not exist in this world at all before Leon made them himself and gave them concepts.

However, such a test also reminded Leon that although the knowledge in his mind was protected in principle before it was created by him, once he made it by himself, the concept of this item could be spread normally in the Warhammer universe.

This result forced Leon to use his golden finger more cautiously: he retained his human brain to ensure that the knowledge stored in his head would not be "assimilated" and disappear due to the transformation; for the weapons and equipment that he had personally made, he also strictly controlled the circulation of manufacturing knowledge, leaving only production lines whose production principles were difficult to reverse; finally, he must also carefully "research and develop" the drawings to prevent some subversive designs from being directly reproduced in the Warhammer world.