Substitute Toyokawa Shoko, you can become stronger by breathing

Uh-huh!

Just to calm down!

.........

PS: This chapter has 3,000 words. The break is over and I will continue writing 10,000 words a day starting tomorrow.

Chapter 114: Jiujo Liansi, I will offer my loyalty to you! (7K)

Golden ears of wheat.

The empty wilderness.

There seems to be nothing memorable in Yutenji Wakami's past life.

Oh, except the stars in Kumamoto.

There are so many stars in Kumamoto at night, and they are so bright. Each one looks like a handful of broken glass scattered on black velvet.

She wondered why the stars were so bright.

Is it the cat in the sky, who was playing at night and accidentally lost the gem beads hidden by his mother. The beads fell and got stuck in the sky, and became bright with the moonlight?

Or is it that there is also a big village in the sky, just like on Earth, where every household lights a lamp, and the stars are the lamps they light?

Yutenji Wakamai felt like there was a cat in her heart, very wild and very quiet.

She likes stars very much.

On summer nights, she would point them out to her mother. "This is Altair, that is Vega, with a bright white river between them. And that one, shaped like a spoon, is the Big Dipper."

As she spoke of this, her eyes seemed to be filled with stars, twinkling. Her mother listened, patted her head, and nodded in agreement.

She was so familiar with the stars that she wanted to sing about them.

Her songs are out of tune and the lyrics are strange.

The kids in Kumamoto didn't understand, so they said she was weird and refused to play with her.

Cats always keep to themselves.

She wasn't annoyed, she sang alone, singing about the stars in the sky, the rice in the fields, the sound of the wind blowing. Her voice was not loud, but thin, like the buzzing of a mosquito.

Only her mother would sit next to her, squinting her eyes and listening to her sing.

She likes stars and dreams of becoming a star, not the kind of shooting star that flashes and disappears, nor the kind of moon that relies on the sun's light.

She wanted to be a star that could shine on its own, bright and shining, hanging in the sky where everyone could see it.

Sirius, her favorite.

The book says that it is the brightest star in the night sky, and it shines by itself, how wonderful.

But this is so difficult.

As she grew older, her strength grew. She put all her energy into singing and writing those strange and wonderful songs. She wanted to shine, to be seen by others.

I fell more often than I ate, and I shed so many tears that my pillow was soaked several times.

In the end, she felt like she was just a "companion star," orbiting other stars, relying on their light to shine a little brighter. She felt a mixture of resentment and resignation.

Until she met Shoko Toyokawa.

That person is truly the star and the sun.

Yutenji Wakamu was beside her and felt like the moon, which was seen by others only because of the sun's light.

She has no regrets.

The faint light of early morning filtered through the window, grayish-white and a little chilly.

Yutenji Wakamu woke up.

My eyelids feel heavy, as if I didn't sleep well last night.

She turned over, and the quilt slid down to her waist. The air smelled of dust and the faint scent of shampoo from her own hair.

She vaguely remembered having a dream.

In my dream, I saw the fields of Kumamoto, with golden ears of wheat stretching all the way to the horizon. And there was my mother, squinting her eyes as I listened to her singing.

The singing was out of tune, like the rustling of wheat in the wind.

In the dream, I was still a little girl, wearing old clothes that had been washed white, running barefoot on the ridges of the fields. She looked up at the stars in the sky, one by one, countless.

"Stars..." she mumbled vaguely, her voice hoarse from just waking up.

My thoughts were like a tangled mess, but slowly, they were sorted out one by one.

Last night she received "Xiao Xiang"...

No, now it should be called "Lian Si".

He sent her a message asking her to talk to him alone about the fable of "The King and the Witch".

This realization was like a bucket of cold water poured over her head, instantly sobering her up.

My heart started beating uncontrollably, like a rabbit in my arms.

Nervous, flustered, and a hint of inexplicable... excitement?

She sat up and scratched her messy hair.

Sunlight had squeezed in through the gaps in the curtains, casting a few bright spots of light on the ground. In these spots of light, tiny dust particles were dancing, like countless miniature stars.

"I follow the sun..."

These words came out of my mind without any reason.

She was stunned.

sun?

Yes, Toyokawa Shoko, the soul of "Kujo Renji" may live in that body, just like the sun.

Brilliant, domineering, and unquestionable.

If you get close, you will get burned.

But that light and heat are...irresistible.

She thought of the photo she saw last night, and her cheeks felt hot unconsciously.

She barely slept well last night.

In my mind, there was the starry sky of Kumamoto when I was a child, then the blurry but impactful face of "Lian Si", and then the two short messages he sent me.

"Let's talk alone..."

"About that fable..."

Did he know? He definitely knew! To someone like him, my clumsy attempts would probably be as ridiculous as a child playing house, right?

How will he deal with himself?

Yutenji Wakamu bit her lower lip, her heart in turmoil. She wasn't afraid of being "settled," she was afraid... that she would be exposed in front of him.

It felt like a little wild cat with a secret, suddenly being targeted by an experienced old hunter.

All disguises and minions seemed so pale and powerless in front of those eyes that saw through everything.

But why? Why, even though I knew the danger, I still felt a faint sense of... anticipation?

She looked down at her hands. Her fingers were long and slender, with calluses on the tips from long hours of instrument practice.

"Because I am such a despicable person."

This thought was like a stone thrown into a calm lake, causing ripples.

despicable?

She chewed on the word.

Yes, despicable.

She recalled the days when she was a child, isolated because of her strange singing. While other children chased and played on the ridges of the fields, she was left alone, singing to the sky and the rice paddies. Back then, she longed so much for someone to understand her songs, so much for being able to play with them.

She longs to be seen and recognized.

This desire, like a seed, took root in her heart, sprouted, and grew into a towering tree.

In order to shine and not be drowned in the crowd, she can give a lot.

She practiced and composed desperately, hoping to write a melody that could capture people's hearts.

She wants to stand on the most dazzling stage so that everyone can hear her voice and see her presence.

Until Ave Mujica came along.

Until "Shoko Toyokawa's" temperament changed drastically.

This new "Xiangzi", or "Lian Si", exudes strength and confidence, which is like a huge magnet, firmly attracting her.

He is more like a "sun" than the previous Xiangzi.

A sun that can make her, the "companion star", shine brightly.

She knew this was not normal.

The fact that another person's soul lives in Xiangzi's body is a shocking thing in itself.

She also knew that this "Lian Si" had a complicated background and acted ruthlessly, and was definitely not a good person.

But she couldn't control herself.

She was greedy for the "impact" he brought, greedy for his unquestionable leadership, greedy for the possibility that he could make Ave Mujica shine like never before.

She was even... a little relieved.

Fortunately, Xiangzi has become what he is now.

Because only such a "Xiangzi" can lead them to higher and farther places.

Only such a "sun" can make her humble "moon" reflect a more dazzling light.

This thought made her feel cold.

Isn't this just... despicable?

For her own desires, to be able to stand in the spotlight, she can ignore the strange changes happening to her friends, and even... secretly rejoice?

She remembered the story of "The King and the Witch".

She told that story to test "Xiangzi".

I want to see what he has become.

Now that she thinks about it, isn’t the “witch” in that story just like herself?

The witch longed for the king's attention, longed to share the king's power, and even longed to... control the king.

Isn't it the same for her, Yutenji Ruomai?

She longed to be recognized by "Lian Si", to draw strength from him, and to become an indispensable part of his plan.

Even if it means betraying something, such as the guilt towards the "real" Toyokawa Shoko, or the innocent friendship they once had.

"Someone who will do anything to shine."

Yes, that's who she is.

Ever since she was little, she wanted to shine. She wanted to be like Sirius, a star that could illuminate the night sky.

But, she couldn't do it.

She doesn't have that kind of talent, nor that kind of luck.

She can only be a "companion star" and a "moon".

In this case, let's find a way to make the light we reflect brighter and more eye-catching.

Even if that means clinging to a...dangerous and powerful being.

Even if it means...giving up something you once cherished.

Yutenji Wakamu took a deep breath, and the inexplicable restlessness in his chest seemed to subside a little. But in its place, a heavier and clearer understanding emerged.