Girl Band, Gravity Capture

Even knowing that Yuan Xudou would forgive her, she couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if he disliked her because of it, and then she would feel pain on her own.

Because of the lack of companionship and care, the constant pretense of self, the absence of the right to be willful, and the lack of a true place to belong, a young girl cannot possess the luxury of "security." All the disappointment, grievances, loneliness, and confusion accumulate uncontrollably within her heart, building towering walls around her.

The more sensible she is, the more she gets hurt; the more she suppresses herself, the more she has nowhere to escape... This is a thorny chain she has put on herself. Whether she tries to break free or continues to sink, she will eventually be covered in wounds.

But... even so, I can't help but look forward to it.

Someone who can unconditionally care for you, someone who can stay by your side, someone who can break through your pretense, see through your mask to your true self, and accept you...

Even knowing it's just wishful thinking on my part... even knowing the other person is a student like me, with their own life, and wouldn't go to such lengths for a friend I've only known for a few days...

But... if it's Xu Doujun, he's special...

She still harbored such unrealistic expectations of him.

Nagasaki Motoyo carefully raised her head, her gaze sweeping slowly and intently across the faces of everyone gathered at the school gate, her longing eyes not missing a single possible glimmer of hope.

—The boy's handsome face, which could never be overlooked, was not among them.

The streets, bathed in moonlight and gilded with silver, were only sparsely populated with people and a few vehicles passing by.

"...As expected, there wasn't one."

They were clearly looking forward to it, yet they spoke as if they had already anticipated the disappointment; they were clearly disappointed, yet they refused to face the reality. They even deceived their own hearts.

Nagasaki Motoyo lowered her head, burying her face in the darkness, her gaze gradually dimming.

It's okay, as long as I get home, I can go find him...

The loneliness I feel now... if I just endure it for a little while, it will slowly sink into a place in my heart that I can't reach, just like before.

"...Su Shi..."

It sounded like some kind of auditory hallucination.

"Soyo."

Was it because I was too tired from practicing that I was hallucinating? I thought I heard Xu Doujun calling my name... I can't stay so weak, otherwise I might look embarrassed when I go to his house tonight.

Nagasaki Motoyo bit her lower lip and rubbed her face hard, trying to cheer herself up.

"Okay, let's take some gifts back to him on the way..."

The students around me suddenly started to riot.

The girls, who should have been as listless as her due to exhaustion from practice, suddenly became excited as if they had seen something new and exciting. They gathered together and began to whisper excitedly.

Their words clearly reached Nagasaki Motoyo's ears.

"Hey, look over there, there's a really good-looking guy standing there."

"Really? Was he just saying something over here?"

"It sounds like they're looking for someone. Did anyone hear me?"

"No... but her voice was nice, that's all I remember."

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"You infatuated woman!"

……what?

What are you all suddenly saying?

A handsome guy... but I clearly didn't see him just now...

Nagasaki Motoyo didn't dare to look up, didn't dare to look at the boy her classmates were talking about, and didn't dare to hope that he was the one she longed for.

Compared to being disappointed at the beginning, the despair after hopes are dashed is even harder to accept.

"Ding ~"

However, a message suddenly rang from the woman's handbag slung over her shoulder, as if urging her to hurry.

Her fingers trembled as she fumbled in her bag several times before finally managing to pull out her phone.

Without even opening Line, Nagasaki Motoyo already saw the message from the person she had pinned to the top of her chat list in the dimly lit notification bar of her screen.

"Have you left the school gates yet?"

Then, the next item will pop up immediately.

"I stood at the door, looking up."

Just then, the students next to them also came to a conclusion in their discussion.

"...It seems like they're calling out to Su Shi?"

The instant her brain processed the message, Nagasaki Motoyo abruptly raised her head, the force so great that it sent a tearing pain through her slender neck, which was stiff from practice.

But the girl paid no attention to the pain and just stared blankly at what was in front of her.

There, with a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead and the back of his neck, Yuan Xudou tilted his head slightly, frowned, and used his beautiful dark eyes to search for someone's figure repeatedly in the crowd.

Behind him, a taxi had just closed its door and sped away.

Just as she expected, she didn't need to look for the boy's face at all; even in a vast crowd, she could spot him at a glance.

Just like now, he locked onto the girl's location at a glance.

"...It's here."

Yuan Xudou's brows visibly relaxed, and he regained his usual calm.

I ran around a bit while looking for a taxi, thinking I was still a little late and that Nagasaki Motoyo had already gone back... It seems I made it just in time.

Why is she keeping her head down like that? She doesn't even look up when I call her twice.

However, it's also possible that she was simply not used to calling out to others in a crowd, and since it was her first time doing so, her voice was too calm and didn't attract anyone's attention, which is why she didn't notice herself.

In short, it's good that it's not too late.

Yuan Xudou strode towards the girl.

"Hey! That boy's coming over, Su Shi. Is he really here to see you?"

"Wow, so tall—he must be at least 1.8 meters tall! Is he someone you know, Su Shi?"

The classmate next to me was still chattering away.

However, Nagasaki Motoyo was completely deaf to reason.

“…Xu Doujun…!”

Motoyo Nagasaki's heart beat faster than it had ever since birth.

Before my eyes, there was only that serene face, as dazzling as the sun, which obscured the colors of everything around it.

It was like a dream... The person she had been longing for, whom she thought she had no hope of ever seeing again, was now truly and vividly standing in front of her.

Enveloped in this overwhelming sense of happiness, the girl even felt a little dazed.

Could it be... that I'm actually the heroine of some shoujo manga? My life afterwards consists of a sweet and loving campus romance comedy with Xu Doujun, and then, in the end, we naturally get married...

It wasn't until Gen Xudou walked up to Nagasaki Motoyo, who was surrounded by her classmates, that she came to her senses. She quickly squeezed through the gaps in the crowd with an apologetic expression and ran to the boy.

"Xu Doujun—"

Motoyo Nagasaki has a lot to say.

She wanted to thank him for his concern, wanted to ask him why he came to pick her up, and wanted to know how he really viewed her.

After today's events, there will definitely be a lot of rumors about me on campus, and the other person probably will too.

But, I feel like none of that matters anymore.

"Su Shi, let's go."

Gen Xudou turned around, and Nagasaki Motoyo obediently followed.

Just hearing those words, just looking into those eyes...

It's clear now, it's confirmed now.

The other party was never fooled by her feigned obedience and understanding. From beginning to end, he was always looking at the girl's deep inner world, the truth that she herself dared not speak out.

—So happy.

It's such a blessing to be understood by others, to be able to trust that someone understands you and is there for you.

It was like being suddenly illuminated by a beam of fire in the cold, boundless darkness. So warm, so dazzling, so irresistible.

...When you get back, tell him everything.

Her own family, her own darkness, her own desires... all of these constitute the dark side of "Nagasaki Motoyo"—all the emotions she cannot tell others, even those she must hide from her mother.

Everything was open to him.

Then, they will usher in their own new life, one in which they will forever be entitled to possess that warm, bright light.

Chapter Twelve: What I Want to Tell You

On the way, Gen Xudou suggested that the two of them take a taxi home together, but Nagasaki Motoyo, who wanted to spend more time alone with Gen Xudou and hoped that this memory could last longer, politely declined.

In the past, the girl would have undoubtedly prioritized the boy's thoughts without hesitation. But now, understanding his special qualities and believing that he could understand her little selfish desires, she has slowly begun to show Yuan Xudou a more authentic version of herself.

...Initially, she wanted Xu Doujun to show her a genuine smile.

As a result, it was she who was exposed first—a fact that makes it hard for the girl not to feel a sweet sense of defeat.

But it doesn't really matter. It's like who confesses first in a relationship; if one person doesn't care about such things, the importance drops drastically. Nagasaki Motoyo doesn't really mind being the first to be won over in their relationship; she's not one to be overly serious or competitive.

Anyway, these things can't be rushed... Let's follow the plan we've already prepared and gradually win him over.

As for now.

Nagasaki Motoyo tilted her head slightly and secretly glanced at Genjiro, who was standing next to her, holding the train handrail. His profile was as calm as ever, yet she could never get tired of looking at him. She moved a little closer and let out a soft sigh of satisfaction.

Let these happy moments last a little longer...

Sigrún has taught at the Iceland University of the Arts as a part-time lecturer since and was Dean of the Department of Fine Art from -. In – she held a research position at Reykjavík Art Museum focusing on the role of women in Icelandic art. She studied fine art at the Icelandic College of Arts and Crafts and at Pratt Institute, New York, and holds BA and MA degrees in art history and philosophy from the University of Iceland. Sigrún lives and works in Iceland.

Sigrún has taught at the Iceland University of the Arts as a part-time lecturer since and was Dean of the Department of Fine Art from -. In – she held a research position at Reykjavík Art Museum focusing on the role of women in Icelandic art. She studied fine art at the Icelandic College of Arts and Crafts and at Pratt Institute, New York, and holds BA and MA degrees in art history and philosophy from the University of Iceland. Sigrún lives and works in Iceland.

"Well, Xu Doujun, I'll go home and put my bag down first."

"Ah."

Yuan Xudou nodded.

"I won't close the door, just come in when the time comes."

"Okay! It'll be ready soon."

Reluctantly waving goodbye to Genjiro in front of the elevator, Nagasaki Motoyo took out her phone and began checking messages on Line.

First, I gave a unified reply to a few friends in the brass band who I'm close to regarding their questions about Yuan Xudou, telling them that I would answer their questions at school tomorrow. Then I checked my chat history with my mother and found that, as expected, she couldn't come back today either.

The girl was somewhat surprised to find that she was now able to face this fact quite calmly.

I was feeling a little disappointed yesterday.

Well, that suits her perfectly. That way, nothing will bother her and Yuan Xudou today.