Why wasn't I the one who got the male lead's script?

"Well, my dear sister, can you help me cook?"

To be honest, the meal for five people was a bit difficult for Xingjian, who was used to cooking for one. Even though Eriri had been eating and drinking for free at her house recently, the portion for a child was no different from a normal snack.

"Well—otherwise, what do you think Miss Hasaka came here for?"

Perhaps because she heard the words that made her feel satisfied, Miss Hasaka raised her head slightly, rolled up her sleeves and began to help Xingjian share the cooking work.

"...Thanks, sis."

"You're welcome, it's just a small thing."

Of course, Miss Hayasaka doesn't mind if Hoshimi calls her "sister" more often in such a sincere tone.

"Speaking of which, Xiaoqing—what do you think?"

While deftly scraping the skin off a potato, Miss Hasaka casually asked this slightly puzzling question.

"Ok?"

The black-haired boy, who was chopping vegetables on the chopping board with bated breath, had no time to turn his head, so he just expressed his confusion in a confused voice.

"Among those girls, is there anyone you've been eyeing for a long time as a potential girlfriend?"

The blonde girl was also focused on peeling potatoes and simply expressed her thoughts.

"Apart from the Sawamura family's children, as for the other two girls, I have a better impression of the little girl named Futaba."

"No, why would you think so?"

Hoshimi shook her head disapprovingly, then denied Hayasaka's statement with a firm attitude.

"I don't have any romantic feelings for any of them. Or rather, I've never had any romantic feelings for anyone. I don't think I'll ever have any romantic feelings for anyone."

"Eh, isn't that too absolute?"

"Have it?"

After putting the vegetables in a bowl aside, he added in a calm tone.

"No one has ever liked me anyway, so I probably won't like anyone else in the future."

"Hey, that sounds like a rather unconfident statement."

"Perhaps a little, but it's more appropriate to understand it as a caution to ensure that others' kindness is not misunderstood and thus lead to one of the three great illusions in life."

Xingjian took the mushrooms that had been soaked for a while to the chopping board and gently cut them from top to bottom.

"Besides, I don't know what it feels like to like someone. At most, I'm just curious."

"Hmm...it seems that even though you and that Sawamura kid have been together for so long, you still haven't fallen in love."

"She was in a shrunken state at the time... Who would be in heat with a little girl?"

Xingjian smiled bitterly once or twice, feeling somewhat helpless.

He has been in the role of a new father for almost a week or two. Is it possible that he will become a ghost father in the end?

"Besides, my thoughts on Eriri...are actually quite complicated."

She used to be arrogant and willful and made mistakes, but now she has learned to examine her mistakes and stand up from where she fell.

"...Besides the feelings of concern and care I have for her, I think I have more expectations."

Although she was once a bystander of a school bullying incident, she could be considered a victim after being left with psychological trauma as a result.

I hope she can slowly get over what happened in the past.

"As for Kato, that's even more nonsense."

The black-haired boy shrugged nonchalantly, and put the vegetables into the boiling water in an easy and methodical manner.

"I've done something wrong to her before, so I think I feel more guilty about her. Plus, I feel like we have a lot of common topics, so I think we can become good friends in the future. Not to mention Futaba—"

Having said that, Xingjian paused and a slight smile appeared on his face.

"I plan to be her lifelong friend. It would be a waste for that guy to be my lover. If I describe this feeling as love, wouldn't it be too frivolous?"

"Eh……"

Hayasaka blinked, her clear blue eyes scanning the black-haired boy's profile.

"It seems like Xiaoqing is very insecure about love."

"Haha, I watched my parents' relationship go from the honeymoon phase to the cold war and finally divorce. Since I was a child, I've never been able to believe that love can remain unchanged."

And what is love?

Do you express possessiveness? Or do you openly display your admiration for the other person? Or do you suppress your feelings, turning all your words into a casual glance?

I don't understand.

He had never been expressed this kind of emotion since he was a child, so he had no idea what it was.

Not to mention that this thing is definitely different in real life and from the ideal love in novels and TV.

Sometimes people just want to tease you, and sometimes it's just a crude joke. He can manage not to tease others with such ambiguous jokes, but he also won't take such jokes too seriously.

Xingjian smiled calmly and didn't feel that this topic was too heavy for her.

After all, it was something he had never cared about or experienced before, so no matter how much he talked about it, it wouldn't feel real.

"Love, don't you think it's cruel? It reaches its peak from the moment you're in love, and from then on, it's all downhill."

The heart-pounding feeling and the anticipation of the future that cannot wait to arrive have been completely pre-empted at the beginning of love, and in the end they will only be defeated again and again by the tiny frictions and contradictions in real life.

In this case, rather than ending up parting ways miserably, it is better not to cross this safe distance from the beginning.

"For me, having a true friend in life is enough. I don't want to force anything else."

Xingjian looked at the vegetables boiling in the pot and expressed his thoughts in a firm tone.

"........."

Hayasaka on the side was just a quiet listener, lowering her head and cutting the potatoes into equal-sized slices neatly and effortlessly.

"You always say something unexpectedly profound, Xiaoqing."

In the end, Hayasaka skillfully and decisively used a knife to put the potato slices into the pot and said this in a calm tone.

"No, I think this is a very simple and easy to understand truth."

Xingjian shook his head and reached out to lower the temperature of the induction cooker.

"Well, after all, these are just my current thoughts. Who knows what will happen in the future—people change."

Who knows how he will view what he said in a few years.

"Ultimately, it's just fear. The fear of stepping into an unknown relationship, giving one-sidedly, wishing to move myself one-sidedly, and finally wishing to get hurt."

He lowered his head with a self-deprecating smile, keeping the last sentence in his heart.

Of course, maybe all his current worries and troubles about love are just wishful thinking.

----

You don't want to plant flowers. You say, "I don't want to see them wither away." Yes, to avoid the end, you avoid the beginning.

Who isn't like this?

Kasumigaoka Utaha is unlikely to be out of ideas: Chapter 1: Today's meal at the Hoshimi family (Part 3)

At the same time, in the somewhat cramped living room of Xingjian's house.

Miss Eriri was lying on the bed belonging to Hoshimi Boy, watching TV in a very ungraceful manner. Although Kato had reminded her many times before that "it's not nice for a guest to do this", Eriri just waved her hand to indicate that it was no big deal and continued to watch the Japanese variety show with great interest.

Futaba, who was standing by, didn't seem to mind Eriri's casual attitude, as if she was back home - it would be more accurate to say that she never showed any concern for anything from beginning to end. She didn't comment on the TV that was broadcasting a variety show, but just tilted her head, squinted her eyes, and looked out the window quietly.

After trying to persuade Eriri many times without success, Kato finally gave up and straightened his chair, looking towards Futaba with a little curiosity.

"Um...Futaba-san, if you don't like watching this show, you can change the channel."

She handed the remote control to Futaba obediently, but the latter just shook her head with a look of disinterest.

"I don't watch TV anyway, Kato, watch whatever you want."

He's such a guy who can easily kill a conversation.

However, Kato did not show any disappointment or dissatisfaction on her face. She just said "Oh" softly, put the remote control back to its place, and continued to let the sound of the funny variety show that could ease the atmosphere spread in the house.

"By the way, Futaba-san, is she a close friend of Hoshimi-kun?"

After a brief silence, Kato glanced at Eriri, who was getting more and more excited in the variety show, and turned to Futaba to bring up the topic again.

"I seem to have vaguely heard Xingjian-kun mention before that he has a good friend in school."

"Well, if that guy's actions like coming over to get my coffee for free and staying in my lab after school are expressions of friendship, then we can indeed be considered friends."

Futaba said these words calmly and naturally, but still did not look at Kato, just stared out the window.

Hearing this, Kato was slightly stunned, as if he had received an unexpected answer - but the surprise on his face soon subsided.

“Oh…I see.”

"Normally if I met someone like that I would have kicked him out of my lab, but he took care of me before, so I have some impression of him."

"So, you've become close friends without realizing it. That sounds pretty good."

Kato chuckled and took a sip of the water on the table - this was what Xingjian brought to the guests when they first entered the door.

"But at first I thought you two might be...a romantic relationship. I'm so sorry."

"—"

Futaba raised her eyebrows slightly, and the expression on her face was no longer as calm and relaxed as before.

Fortunately, she quickly turned her face away again.

"...So, Kato, you're also one of those people who believes that true friendship between men and women is impossible?"

"No, that's not what I meant. I'm just a little surprised."

Faced with Futaba's obviously not very polite question, the girl with short black hair just smiled and shook her head, and was particularly at ease in answering the question.

"After all, you two seem to know each other very well. Normally, if you're dating to that extent, it wouldn't be surprising."

"Eh—but as the saying goes, knowing someone too well can make them unable to be lovers."

Ms. Eriri, who was watching the variety show intently, suddenly interrupted at this time, but she didn't seem to think there was any undercurrent of temptation in the conversation between the two. She just said this unexpectedly.

"...Sawamura is right, but I have a different reason."

Futaba, who was a little distracted by Kato's question, came back to her senses. She cleared her throat and looked away pretending to be indifferent.

"I have no interest in dating that guy."

She said this in a lazy and calm voice.

"I'd be happy if Xingjian could find a girlfriend, after all, it's not easy to find someone who likes him—although it's probably normal that he can't find one."

Futaba paused and continued to add in a straightforward tone.

"But if you ask me to date that guy, it's absolutely impossible."

"Hey...is Hoshimi-kun that bad?"

"Yeah, it's terrible. He's nosy and self-satisfied. He's surrounded by darkness himself, yet he wants to bring some light to others. I've never... I've never seen such a stubborn and unrepentant idiot."

Is this a compliment to him or an insult to him?

Looking at Futaba, whose expression had dimmed slightly, Kato rolled his eyes thoughtfully and asked another question.

"So, what if a girl who pursues Hoshimi-kun suddenly appears in front of him?"

“…That’s not the problem.”

Futaba held her chin with her hand, turned her head and lazily met Kato's vaguely worried gaze.

"I'm his friend, and only his friend. It doesn't matter to me who he's with. It doesn't matter who the date is, so why should I care?"

At the end of her speech, the gray-haired girl smiled lightly as if she had thought of something, and a little warmth that was enough to comfort her usually cold face appeared.

"...Just seeing that guy find his own lover and slowly become just like a happy, ordinary person is enough for me."

She expressed the above thoughts in a voice that was barely audible, and then she raised her head and smiled sweetly, her voice gradually returning to normal volume.

"Then again, I want to be friends with him for life. It would be a waste to limit our relationship to just being lovers."

"—"