Shadow of the Evil God

He had to approach this matter with caution. This matter touched upon the fundamental structure of the world, whether the passage from past to future was a single straight line or a complex web. The passage of time he had witnessed so far was already unstable enough, and Soyn's presence made it even more unstable—what would happen if the two histories no longer formed a straight line, but instead formed a loop at their point?

Could it be that Iskellig had come here over the years just to tie the knot into a ring around the house?

Cesar felt that many of the questions were too complex, beyond his ability to think. He had more pressing crises to deal with. As for these profound questions, he could leave them to Diana and Sister Mira. He trusted them to apply their knowledge to the conclusions, and if they needed more details, he would provide them one by one.

Cesar hadn't cared about Miriel and the others at first, but now that he had Soin, he couldn't bear to see them lying dead in the wilderness, torn to pieces by the sharp teeth of passing wild beasts.

He considered carrying the bodies back to the cabin and burying them outside their door, but such a thought was impractical. Even without the cannibals chasing them, it would be difficult to carry the bodies down, so he decided to bury them where they were.

Cesar surveyed the ground, walked around, and finally found a place with relatively soft soil. Using his sword and the gauntlet of his right hand, he dug a large pit, carried their remains into the pit, filled it with stones, and compacted the soil to ensure that wild animals could not dig up the bones.

Although he didn't know whether his method was in line with custom, he had no other choice.

By the time Thorin awoke from his arms, he had already finished burying most of the body. She added the last few stones, then sat back on his arm armor, padded with his rags, and remained silent. She looked like a small figure sitting on a large beast. When he took out the map Legosius had given him, she asked, "What should I call you?"

Cesar glanced at her. "Miriel wanted me to be your brother's adoptive father," he said. "But I think whether a child is worthy of protection doesn't depend on her parents' preference, but on her own actions. I don't know if your brother deserves it, but since you lost both parents at such a young age, it's definitely worth having someone else take on the responsibilities they haven't yet fulfilled. If you don't mind someone who looks like a curse, and perhaps actually is, I can be that person for a while."

Soyin nodded, muttering something about a monster's son, then lost in thought. He realized this guy had already decided he wasn't human. For her, accepting a terrifying, non-human being as her adoptive father seemed much easier than accepting a human.

Cesar came to the stream and wanted to wipe his face with water, but he found that his fingertips touched the wriggling steel. He lowered his head and stared at the mask that was fused with his flesh and blood for a long time. He realized that he had been tense in the confrontation and had forgotten the need to maintain his human form. He grinned at the water, and saw that the black mask was like a brand on his cheek.

The skin was torn apart like plating.

Seeing this, Soin reached out and placed a piece of dried meat from her bag into his torn visor. Cesar fell silent. Her expression was solemn, as if she were completing some mysterious ritual, demonstrating that she wasn't afraid of his inhuman face. If anyone else were there, they would undoubtedly describe how pure and solemn the girl, with her wet face and water-stained eyelashes, looked at that moment.

......

Cesar took all the rations from Miriel's bag when she escaped and stuffed them into Soyin's. He told her he was on a very important quest, one that would likely involve a long journey of many days. If she didn't pack more water and food, it would likely take many days before they could stop to hunt and gather water.

She wondered if there was a world she couldn't see, and that he was in that world fighting against the terrifying existence she couldn't see. Cesar thought this sounded so absurd and bizarre, but to fit her naive understanding, he nodded in agreement, saying that her guess was not far from the truth.

Chapter 305: Just Like God

When he reached the edge of the mountains, Cesar decided not to go deeper than his original destination. It was hard to say whether Isley would catch up with him. Although they had no actual blood relationship, in his opinion, Isley was the best at predicting his behavior among the people he had met.

Isri speculated that his actions weren't driven by their time together or their shared emotions, but by the many events that had occurred through his hands. From Noyen to Gonzales, from Angland to Sodoris, perhaps every decision he made, every outcome he encountered, was played out in her mind's sandbox, simply to infer his next move. Truth be told, not even his own blood relatives had ever paid him this much attention.

Cesar knew that Clefas's soldiers had already blocked the road, and if Isri gave him any advice, the blockade might be extended further up the road. If he rashly continued on his original route, he would likely run headfirst into the encircling net.

He decided to continue his journey through the mountains. This time, he chose a particularly steep, snow-capped peak, the most majestic and towering in the vicinity. Not only was its crown crowned with snow, but its shoulders were also covered in snow like fish scales, extending all the way to the halfway point. If he could reach the summit, not only would he be able to completely avoid the cavalry blocking the road nearby, but from the summit, he would also have a panoramic view of the surrounding low peaks, the distant misty town, the vast plains, and the dense forests.

The mountain was steep, and the snow-covered path was slippery and difficult to navigate, forcing Cesar to use both arms. So, Soin shifted from his arms to his shoulders, looking like he was riding an armored beast. If an artist were to describe this composition, they might title it "The Wolf and the Maiden."

After about an hour, he climbed to the middle of the mountain and looked back. He could vaguely see trees falling in the woods along the way. There was no doubt that they were flesh puppets. He had delayed too long. It was no easier for those things to destroy trees than for him to break small branches.

"I think I can see what you're looking at." Soin looked behind him. "What are those things? Rats riding on the pile of corpses?"

Cesar no longer wanted to reason with her. "It's hard to say," he said. "Maybe they were once human, and they look like humans, but they're not humans now. They're beastmen. They have some similarities to humans, but other parts are completely different. Do you understand me?"

She nodded, serious as always, and then asked him, "Then why are they chasing you?"

"Because I was originally human, but I carry their ancient curse, which attracts them to chase me."

"Those beastmen are going to kill you?"

"No, they just asked me to become a member of their pack."

"Then why don't you want to accept it?"

"Because they are no longer human, and don't think they are. Although I am not human, I think I am. Have you ever thought that a dog is born a dog, but a person has to go through a lot to become a human? You can think about this question carefully. Of course, I think that since you stepped forward to be the sacrifice, you have actually thought a lot. Moreover, you have thought more than Miriel. In front of you, she seems like a selfish and willful child."

"Miriel..."

"Look, you also think this isn't pleasant to say. So here's the question: should people be forced to think about what it means to be human? Some people aren't incapable of thinking, but they're determined not to. Even if you force them to think, nothing will come of it. We sometimes force a dog to act human, like making it walk on its hind legs or dressing it in shabby clothes. So, if someone acts like a human, they might not be human; they might just be a dog walking on its hind legs."

"I also thought about begging my mother not to send me out." Suo Yin said.

"It's because you want to let go of the burden of being human, because in that moment, the burden is so heavy, so every time we feel like we're going to be crushed by similar situations. Sometimes, I also satisfy my beast side, because I can't carry those burdens forever, I can't continue to be human. Sometimes people will hurt themselves or even commit suicide if they don't let go of their burdens. Those who only pretend to be human will never understand this burden, do you understand? You should understand, after all, you have already felt the weight of that burden."

"Or transform yourself into a beastman and join their tribe," she added.

"Yes," Cesar agreed. "Perhaps some do. Some people hate being a burden, and when they see the beasts, they wish they could become beasts themselves, acting solely on instinct. That way, not only would they not have to worry about anything, but they could also laugh at the humans who are about to collapse under the burden they carry."

"As you persevere through all this, do you still feel like you're human?" Soyin asked, "even if others don't think so?"

Cesar hadn't realized she could think that far, and was taken aback for a moment. "I don't think it has anything to do with what others think," he said. "Those are things that are only in your own mind. Every time you see them, you can confirm who you are and what you are. But yes, I guess I am a bit like a beastman, not only in body but also in soul.

So I need something deeper than the body, deeper than the soul, to question myself."

"It sounds like this matter is not only important, but also dangerous."

"When you realize you're just one step away from crossing the line between human and something else, this becomes very important and very dangerous," Cesar said. "I question myself every day. From now on, this question will only increase every day."

Although his original intention was to guide Soyin, it was only now that he felt the weight of all the questioning and contemplation weighing on him, a weight so heavy compared to the unbridled desires he had unleashed. Contemplation, questioning, especially questioning oneself, were truly burdensome, and for some, could be considered a great curse, just as Miriel never pondered or questioned her own right or wrong.

Cesar climbed higher and higher. At the last precipitous drop of the snowy mountain, he stretched out his claws and dug into the icy rock. The dog was as nimble as ever, scaling the steep slope as if it were flat ground. It wasn't exactly safe for him. However, if he didn't climb over the icy summit, he would have to take a long detour.

He climbed high, peering into the distance through the crevices of his armor. He looked back. On the desolate, gloomy mountaintop, Soyin squinted, her head tilted upward, her hand covering her tangled lashes as she fought the wind. She seemed to be able to see far into the distance, the flesh puppets and corpse eaters that Cesar hadn't been able to discern just now. She had discerned their physiological characteristics in the forest, and now her gaze stretched even further, her long brown hair blowing behind her in the wind. Her lips were tightly pressed together, and in her eyes, in her furrowed brow, was an indescribable determination.

Keep your eyes open for the strong winds and conquer all the mountains you see along the way.

The hunter's cloak was blown into many folds by the wind, and behind her it looked like the wings of a huge bird, carrying her away from the top of the mountain.

The slope grew steeper, and there was no sign of human life. Cesar was now at the summit of a mountain with no way out, using his steel-clad claws as grappling hooks. Perhaps no one had ever climbed this height before him. Of course, that was assuming he was carrying this thing on his back.

He used his last bit of strength to climb the last distance, but there was no place for humans to stand in front of him, so he knelt down like a beast, holding on to the tilted rocks on the top of the mountain. The cliff had come to an end, and there was a diffuse cloud and mist ahead, as if there was no cliff below, but a nothingness as endless as the abyss.

The wind grew stronger and stronger, almost forming a storm, roaring past his ears. Cesar caught a glimpse of the creature on his shoulder bending down and looking into the abyss. Perhaps this was just her usual behavior as she lived on the edge of the real abyss, but Cesar felt that there was an indescribable desire in her eyes.

"If you think I have fulfilled my responsibilities as an adoptive father, you can say what you have always wanted to say but never have," Cesar said to her.

"Fly over," whispered the hunter girl carrying a longbow. "I can definitely fly over! It doesn't matter if it's me or someone else. I want to fly from this dark abyss to the invisible other side, ignoring all obstacles and crossing all paths, just like a god."

What did he see in Soyin's eyes? Hope? Or light? He couldn't quite put his finger on it. Perhaps people harbored hope within them, without needing to ponder or question it. Or perhaps, like the girl before him, he couldn't quite articulate it, nor could he quite grasp it.

......

Cesar continued along the winding mountain path, destined to collapse, once again shaking off the pursuing corpse-eaters. Thorne said she saw cavalry blocking the road in his world, so Cesar followed her lead. She said the cavalry blocking the road dwindled, until they were almost nonexistent. He then stopped by a river valley, intending to spend the night. The vegetation in this area was growing more lush, indicating that Clefas had indeed occupied a plot of land well-suited for cultivation.

Of course, he stayed on the higher ground. A few steps further down the valley was a waterfall. Standing at the edge, the girl could clearly see the fields and the road in the distance. Her vision was incredibly far-reaching. She pointed to the fortress in the distance, saying that there were caravans coming and going there, and asked if they wanted to climb down and go that way.

"Tomorrow," Cesar said. "I'm waiting for the beastmen to catch up, and then I'll head for the first fortress."

Soyin's eyes widened. This was indeed difficult to explain. "Why?" she asked.

Chapter 306: Will We Always Be Family?

Cesar placed his hand on the ancient tree beside the waterfall. "Indeed, I am a cursed being, but I am also the guardian of a city."

"Then why do you wander so far away?" Suo Yin asked him.

"If you ever wonder why your father lingers in the distance, you'll know why I linger in the distance."

"But my father died alone far away," she said.

"It's not about whether we die or not," Cesar said. "Some people can stay home and wait, but others have to go out and do what only they can do. If they don't, maybe everyone will die."

"Can't run away?" she whispered.

As dusk approached, Cesar gathered debris from the riverbank and built a firewood pile with his dog. Soin sat on his shoulders, breaking branches from the trees and throwing them into the slowly burning fire. Aside from the reddened tip of her nose from crying and some peeling, the girl appeared healthy and agile, adapting to different environments just as well as he did.

He sat across from the fire, legs crossed, feeling as if the scene were a dream. "Some people can't escape," he said. "Your father could have fled, but he didn't. He knew his family couldn't escape like him."

Soin paused, lost in thought for a moment. "That's right," she said after a moment, gazing out at the vast fields and hills behind her, then down at the dark river not far away. "But everything is gone, everyone, all the fires..."

"Yes," Cesar said, "We may not be able to consider every aspect of the matter, and even if we do, the outcome may not be what we want. But I feel that if there is a crucial matter that only I can take on, then I will do it. People can choose to escape and sit alone in the wilderness facing the night, or they can stay in front of the fire with their families and wait, and die with their families. The former means that people's desire to survive prevails, and they choose to abandon those who cannot escape. The latter means that people hope to sleep in the arms of their families and die together. However, only my current choice points to hope."

"This road to hope is difficult to walk," the girl whispered. She blinked, sniffed, and wiped her red nose with her hand.

"Indeed," Cesar replied again, "Why do you think we have to take such a difficult path?"

"It's because it's so difficult that no one else can go there," Soin said. This was true, at least for his current situation.

The girl's voice told him that she had recovered somewhat from the grief of her father's death, and she was pleased with the cleverness she had displayed during the argument. Cesar sensed her emotion and felt a measure of comfort as well. If a child was intelligent, older people would enjoy talking to them. Perhaps it was to see this reaction.

Cesar felt that what comforted people was not the innocence of children themselves, because that was simply a kind of unconcealment. What comforted people was actually the beautiful souls that remained even after being unconcealed.

Soyin pointed to the fortress in the distance. "If your tribe is far away, then those nearby fortresses are other tribes?"

"You're right," Cesar said. "Those crazy beastmen want to destroy my tribe. The tribe before us also wants to take advantage of my tribe's suffering to destroy us as well. In fact, at this point, there's no right or wrong. But I don't want to see the fire of my tribe go out, and see my family members who stood before the fire displaced, so I will do everything I can to hinder them."

"But my bow and arrow are not sharp enough, and my bowstring is not strong enough." Suo Yin said, "If it were sharp enough, maybe I could draw my bow from far away and aim at those..."

“That’s not necessarily an unintended thought, but maybe you could look beyond that,” he said. “Beyond the fire in the house, beyond another tribe. Look up and think about how many people are doing the same thing as you.”

Cesar lay down on the grass and pointed out the starry night sky for her. He pointed out a wolf, but Soyin corrected him and said it was the Two-Headed Hydra. Then he pointed out a longbow, but she corrected him and said it was a wood elf. Next to the wood elf was a larger constellation called the Ancient Tree.

She nodded as she spoke. "They're just like us, aren't they? An ancient tree and the creatures that live in it."

Cesar didn't know how to respond to Soyn's words. She sat on the grass and stared at the stars for a long time, squeezing his clawed hand tightly. Then she lay down beside him, still looking up at the night sky.

"If the stars are our hearth," she asked, "were we all family members under the same starry sky before we even met?"

Cesar had to admit he was a little taken aback; her sudden remarks always surprised him. He nodded in agreement. "You're the most intelligent child I've ever met," he said.

“If the fire above our heads never goes out, will we always be a family?”

Cesar hesitated. "I'd like to say yes...but

In fact, it will go out." He saw her clear brown eyes, twinkling under her long lashes, staring at him from his arm. "When the fire is about to go out," he said, pointing to the night sky above them, "many people will stand up, just like us, for a glimmer of hope, taking a wrong step and they will die. No, they will definitely do so."

"If I had grown up by then..."

"Even if your father fails, he's still your hero," Cesar told her. "That being said, if you want to have hope then, I hope you can always be victorious."

"I also hope you can always win, Cesar." Soyin hooked her slender fingers around his. "If my bow and arrow can deal with more than just beasts, I will definitely use it to help you. If I can't, then I will watch for you all the things you can't see along the way."

"There will be a lot of blood and a lot of painful deaths."

"I've seen a lot of blood on the hunt, too. I'll learn to adapt to everything," she said, burying her face in his cloak. "Can you tell me some stories from your side, Cesar? I've heard that in towns, parents tell children many unheard-of stories before they go to sleep. I'm sure yours will be even better than theirs."

Chapter 307: The Secret Meeting of the Two Queens

Although Cesar didn't want to talk about war and history too early, the era of Soin, the coming of Anarik, the birth of the Beastmen, and the rampage of the White Nightmare were so close. Some things, perhaps, the sooner he talked about them, the better.

He carefully selected his words, stripped away the historical context, and told a series of battles through narrative form. He described how the steppe people rallied their armies to attack the frontier fortresses, how a city-state's rebellion ended in a nighttime raid, the conflicts between the nobility and the royal family, and an empire torn apart, where the struggle for legitimate imperial power disregarded the rampage of beastmen and the suffering of refugees. From the empire's northernmost to its southernmost tip, frenzied slaughter reigned, the bones of the refugees paving long roads, carving out routes for future refugees...

If he continued to move forward and walked out of the mountains, Soin would undoubtedly be able to see their footprints and corpses.

At the end of the story, Cesar lay with the girl in silence for a long time, listening to her breathing gradually become lighter in the sound of the burning fire, and then covered her body with his cloak.

The sky tonight was indeed clear, but in the sparsely populated mountains, the night sky was always this clear. The clear moonlight cast a silvery glow over the river and the weeds, creating a refreshing and soothing atmosphere. But if, day or night, I looked up and saw Analik's long, blood-red line stretching across the center of the world, emitting boundless terror, living in this world would be too painful.

"You are so easily shaken by the various people and things you meet on the road, master," said the dog.

"You should say I'm more determined," Cesar replied.

......

Diana had not yet come out of Brother Mira's dream and was still studying the religious texts that Brother Mira had engraved deep in his memory. He realized this because as soon as he fell asleep, the dark and narrow library corridor appeared before his eyes.

He took a few detours, following the puppet's guidance to see Brother Mira. However, upon opening the door, he found himself standing on the defensive wall of the Gural Fortress's gatehouse. He gazed past the utterly destroyed roads and trenches outside the city, toward the distant corpse-eater lair to the north. Cesar lowered his head and saw that the stone bricks before him were textureless. His fingers felt like paper when they touched them. He realized it was Brother Mira's impression, not reality.

Artinya stood on the walkway along the city wall, gazing at the distant corpse-eater lair. Behind her stood not only the guards but also the accomplice sent in by Clefas. His blond hair fell like a mat over his head, dripping down his cheeks as the rain fell. Honestly, his features were so distinct that even without Cesar's comment, the princess would have sensed them. Standing on the city wall, his every move and gesture didn't resemble that of an ordinary militia leader.

Cesar looked around and saw Sister Mira was right beside him, but he was too tall to see her. "I'm sorting out my recent memories," she said. "If you want to stand by and watch, please keep quiet."

He nodded, his eyes leaving the monk's face. After all, a downpour was indeed a good time for plotting.

"You should be prepared, Your Highness," said Cleface's inner circle. "This city will not last long. General Cleface will ultimately prevail. Even if you try to resist, your soldiers will be powerless after a long battle with the Beastmen."

Cesar saw Artinia turn her head toward him. "You entered Gural Fortress incognito just to tell me this, Brother Kes?" she asked nonchalantly. "I thought you helped me get me south back at court, and you'd help me again now. The purpose of your words just now is somewhat obvious. If you phrase them inappropriately, our friendship will be ruined, don't you think?"

Her words held many implications. One was that Cesar's belief that this man was going to go the rogue route was simply because he was too good at making up stories. He could conjure up a whole series of plots from a single clue, even though this man actually knew Altinya.

Brother Keith from the sanctuary frowned, as if offended. "I don't mean to force you to do anything, Your Highness," he said. "I simply tell you where your hope lies."

"If I were you, I would put aside my rhetoric and speak my mind sincerely," Altinia replied. "That way, even if our conversation fails, you can at least go back with your sincerity and pretend nothing happened. Otherwise, someone will suffer because of his incessant chatter." She returned her gaze to the corpse-eater's lair. "Of course, I was just joking, monk," she paused. "Do you realize the sentiment conveyed by this joke?"

The monk nodded. "I can clearly see, Your Highness, that you are dissatisfied with Cliface's plan."

César felt that anyone with independent will would resent the old general. His blueprints were too detailed, his arrangements too thorough, leaving no room for anyone else's opinions. Clefas might have considered him devoted and selfless, abandoning his own selfish desires, but César believed that self-sacrifice involving too many others was more like compulsion and madness, not heroism.

"If you understand," said Artinia, "you will understand that I would rather be defeated and flee with my remaining troops than kneel in Clefas's tent and accept the marriage he arranged for me."

"Prince Trisius believes that all conflicts can be resolved through acquaintance. Furthermore, when the general leads his troops south, you will still have a chance to compete with the prince to determine your superiority, Your Highness. If you gain absolute dominance in the general's camp and win battle after battle, why should you worry about not having the power to deny his opinions and deciding your own marriage?"

"Does this mean you put me in chains first, and then tell me I can fight for power while in chains? Can I say that Clefas is sitting in the stands and letting us compete for his favor, and whoever can please him will get his alms?"

Brother Keith pursed his lips seriously. "Think of you now, Your Highness, walking up and down the wall with your dirty tool kit, repairing the fortifications and questioning the workers. Managing the lives of servants with such anxiety is not your job. You should do what you deserve, just like me. Ultimately, people belong to their respective positions. You should be riding a warhorse and commanding the elite of the Empire to fight for you, not standing in the mud with last year's peasant mercenaries, arguing about how to defend an incomplete fortress—or even a fortress in another kingdom. This bothers me greatly."

"What troubles you, Brother Case?"

Cesar discovered that Altinya avoided talking about the reason why she acted this way, as if she was not imitating others and it had nothing to do with her personal interest. It was indeed as Brother Keith said that she was forced.

"For the situation you are in now." Brother Keith said as he squeezed the water out of his hair.

"Do you think I am more oppressed in the palace or here?"