Elden Ring, my witch is a talkative beautiful girl

The barrier enclosing the inner and outer realms symbolized the academy's absolute neutrality, and was intended to prevent it from becoming embroiled in the brutal conflict between the demigod monarchs. Ultimately, this allowed the academy to retain a significant portion of its combat power, but this passive approach also caused the magicians to lose control of the lake region.

"The magicians at the academy held a large-scale sealing ceremony, setting up a sealing barrier at both the east gate facing the royal city and the south gate leading here. Even now, there's been no sign of it being broken. To enter the academy, one must possess the pyroxene key."

At this point, Tops suddenly knelt on the ground, his heart broken. "A low-level magician like me can't possibly desire a high-level treasure like the Pyroxene Key. When I cast the seal, I happened to be out collecting runes for next year's tuition."

"But... by the time I came back, the academy had already been sealed. I couldn't go back even if I wanted to, so I could only wander around hoping for a miracle. But after so many years, the academy showed no signs of opening its seal, and I had used up all the runes I had on me."

"This uncle is so unlucky..."

"This is too unlucky..."

After hearing Tops' heartbreaking story, Melina and Atai couldn't help but reflect on this. News of the academy's closure hadn't even reached him, so he must have been incredibly unwelcome there. In the eyes of other students, he was probably just a worthless, dull-witted loser who stubbornly refused to leave.

"Thank you for listening to an old man like me complain. Aside from my old friends nearby, I haven't spoken to anyone in ages." Tops dusted off his clothes and forced a smile. "Enough of that. How about trying to learn magic? I'm at least an entry-level mage, so I know a few simple spells."

He raised his staff and disguisedly fired a shot of pyroxene magic pebbles, which every mage apprentice could use. The blue light pebbles flew less than ten meters before automatically dissipating. Their power was so weak that it was even less powerful than that of the subhuman queen.

Melina was stunned for several seconds, then took out 10 runes and said, "Uh... Uncle Tops, we appreciate your kindness. Consider these runes a gift from us."

"It's an accident. Don't be so quick to reject it. Take a look at this." Tops cast another spell, and the pyroxene arc struck the nearby stone, shaving off a thin layer of stone chips. This power... I guess it can't even kill a mouse.

This time, Ah Tui couldn't bear it any longer: "Uncle, we understand your situation. There's really no need to try again."

"No! Let me demonstrate it again, and show you my most powerful magic!" Tops glared, his robes moving without a breeze. He gathered all his magic power and unleashed his most powerful spell, "Shine! Starlight!"

After a pig-slaughtering roar, a cluster of faint starlight appeared on his bald head. The scorching sun made the already insignificant starlight even dimmer.

"How's it going?" Tops asked excitedly. "Have you seen the wonders of pyroxene magic? If you want to learn, I can teach you."

"Uncle Tops, actually... we have learned pyroxene magic. If you don't believe me, just watch." Ah Dai sighed, took out his pyroxene staff and cast a super bright starlight.

"Your intelligence, your intelligence..." Tops looked as if he had seen a ghost, tears streaming down his face from the bright light. "It's so high!"

This is not the first time that a soldier in military uniform has been admired for his high intelligence.

Ah Tui smiled awkwardly under his helmet, vaguely recalling the disgusted expression of a certain pointed-hat wizard—"You little bastard, you're already over level 70 and your IQ is only nine?!"

Melina, already prepared, put on her sunglasses and said unconscionably, "Uncle, your magic is pretty good too. The only reason it can't compare to my partner's is because he's such a genius. When I first met him, I was also shocked by his intelligence."

"Don't comfort me. I know I'm just a piece of useless stone with no talent. Just leave me alone." Topps was frustrated and discouraged once again, and it would take him a while to recover.

Persuasion was ineffective, so the two decided to respect his will and let him calm down.

Ah Tu used the "Kalia Communication" to call Serlian. They needed more information about the pyroxene key. Given Serlian's power and status back then, she must have her own key. Hopefully, she hadn't lost it after all these years.

After a "beep" sound, the blue mirror projected the busy figure of the magic teacher, and the communication was successfully connected.

Se Lian complained as soon as he opened his mouth: "Disciples, you finally remembered to contact your lonely teacher? I thought you forgot about me as soon as you left me."

Hearing this, Ah Tui scratched his cheek embarrassedly: "Sorry, teacher. We just don't want to disturb you too often, so...it seems like Lingqi II thing 8 thing =..."

"Haha, hahaha, I was just kidding. You silly boy, you took me seriously?" Se Lian interrupted his apprentice with a smile, "You need to change your overly serious personality. Melina saw through it right away."

Following Selian's gaze, A'tai finally noticed the witch who was trying to suppress a smile.

She leaned in front of the camera and said, "My partner just doesn't know how to read the atmosphere. Teacher, you know his personality."

"That's true. You're too detached, and there's no way you can finish my class in three days." Se Lian shrugged in relief and pulled a tray full of desserts from the stove. "Just tell me what difficulties you're facing, and I'll help you if I can."

She knew very well that her two apprentices had complementary personalities, but they were both strong-willed and would not contact her unless they were in trouble.

"Teacher, you understand us. This is what happened..." Melina cut to the chase and told Seren about the pyroxene key.

"I roughly understand the situation. I didn't expect you to come to my alma mater so soon." The Great Witch slammed the baking tray on the table and rolled up her sleeves. "Remember, don't show any mercy. Give me a good lesson for those old-fashioned old guys. If you lose, don't say I taught you that. Do you understand?"

"This shouldn't be your focus..." Ah Tui felt the pressure growing.

It's not like we've made an appointment for many years and are ready to go to someone's house to challenge them. How did the conversation end up shifting from keys to fighting?

Just when the topic was getting more and more off topic, a certain uncle finally calmed down and noticed the "Kalia Communication" performed by Atie. He was shocked when he saw it.

"Master Se-Lian?! You're Master Se-Lian's disciples?" Tops, barely recovering from his discouragement, felt as if his perspective had been recast today. If Se-Lian was the once-proud daughter of Rhea Lukalia, a genius at the pinnacle, then he was the paving stone at the academy's gate. The difference in their status was as vast as heaven and earth.

"Who is this?" Se Lian asked. "You're wearing the college uniform, but no hood. Could you be one of the recent freshmen?"

"Um... My name is Tops. I actually entered school in the same class as you."

"Oh, I don't know."

"I knew it..." Topps looked deflated.

Seren ate freshly baked macarons and said nonchalantly, "You're a grown man, why are you so discouraged? I think most of the students in school, including quite a few old men, are just sitting there doing nothing and are stuck in their ways. It doesn't really make much difference whether they're smarter or not. In the end, they can't come up with any new ideas."

This sentence can be simply translated as "I'm not targeting you, I'm saying that everyone here is garbage!"

For a normal magician to say this would be self-deprecating and an exaggeration. But coming from the mouth of the "witch" Seren, the meaning was completely different. She was the ruthless person who nearly blew up the academy and was exiled for it.

Tops sighed, "I'd better continue to be my back-up air conditioner and not bother you anymore."

He ran to the corner again, squatted down, looked at the floor, and drew circles.

Se Lian turned his attention back to his two disciples: "Okay, where were we just now?"

"Just now we were talking about blowing it up, um..."

"We were just talking about going to look for the Pyroxene Key."

A Tui covered Melina's mouth to prevent her from further deviating the topic.

"Oh, the pyroxene key... I think I still have it. Wait a minute, I'll look for it." Se Lian thought for a few seconds, pointed his staff, and a large pile of objects floated out from the pile of garbage. "This is my recipe, this is a dissolved soup spoon, and this is a discarded bomb from the last experiment." The chaotic and terrifying daily life of the Great Witch can be seen from these miscellaneous items. "Aha... Got it, the pyroxene key!"

A gleaming long-handled key appeared in her hand. The key was made entirely of pyroxene, and fine magical patterns were carved on the stone. After using it, it could break the seal and open the road to Rhea Lukalia College.

Melina's eyes also sparkled: "Wow, it's the key! This way we can easily enter the academy."

"It's useless, my lovely disciples." Se Lian threw the key away, and his next words were like a bucket of cold water. "Antiques made by old men are bound to their owners, and I can't leave this damn place, so you must find a way to find an ownerless key."

Topps never had the pyroxene key, so of course he didn't know the details and happened to miss the key part.

"The only place we can think of where there is a key is inside the magic academy, but if we want to enter the academy, we must have the key to open the seal." Ah Tui found that this had become a vicious circle.

Melina couldn't think of a legitimate way to attack, so she decided to take a more devious approach. "Buddy, how about we dig a tunnel underground into the academy? I don't believe they can extend the barrier underground."

Ah Tui's forehead broke out in a cold sweat after hearing this: "Amei, not to mention how long it will take the two of us to dig a tunnel into the city, this is a lake area, the lake water alone will drown us."

"You make sense. We have to find a way to completely evaporate the lake water first, and then dig a tunnel." The witch was completely stuck in a dead end.

"Speaking of the pyroxene key, I suddenly remembered something," Tops said, perking up. "Not long ago, it seems someone left the academy but didn't make it back alive. They died near the lair of the pyroxene dragon Smarag. I didn't dare to look closely, but maybe there's an unclaimed key where he died."

"A pyroxenite dragon..." Ah Tui pondered, "It is indeed worth exploring."

Although it is a bit unkind to take the remains of others after their death, it is better than waiting outside the academy and killing and robbing people to find out the truth.

"Since you have a goal, I won't say much. The old dragon's breath contains the power of pyroxene. Try not to confront it head-on." Se Lian was about to give him a few more instructions when he suddenly smelled a strange smell. "Burnt smell... Oops, I was so busy chatting with you that I forgot about my second batch of desserts. I won't say any more. I wish you good luck. Remember to visit me next time you pass by the post station. I've recently made a few new desserts and need someone to taste them."

As soon as he finished speaking, Se Lian hung up the phone.

"Teacher Seren's new dessert... No, no, now's not the time to be thinking about that." Melina shook her head, clearing her mind. "Uncle Tops, can you tell us where the Pyroxenosaurus is?"

"Yes, I can, but I have a request."

"Another 10 Runes? Sure." Melina immediately reached for her purse.

"No, I want to ask you for another favor." Tops seemed to have made up his mind. "If you find the second pyroxene key in the academy later, could you please give it to me? I really...really want to go back to the academy and study magic again!"

Even if he is called "waste stone", Tops' love for magic will not be diminished in the slightest. He has his reasons for returning to Rhea Lukalia, in order to fulfill his lifelong wish.

"This..." Melina looked at her partner. She couldn't make the decision on this matter alone.

Making promises to others casually and then failing to deliver will damage the credibility of the future king.

Ah Tui thought for a few seconds and said, "We know nothing about the situation in the academy. We can't guarantee that we will find the second key. We can only say that we will do our best."

"That's all. I'm so sorry," Tops said, feeling incredibly guilty. "I've accepted your runes and asked you to keep an eye on the key, but all I know is some low-level magic, and the information I can provide you is very limited."

Ah Tui shook his head. "That's too harsh. We are the ones who should feel bad. This information is invaluable to our operation."

To be honest, 10 runes was just a drop in the bucket for them. A-Tai could earn more by killing a random dog on the street. They were doing their best to find the key. After all, no one knew if they could find a second unowned magic key in the academy.

"How about this!" Tops slapped his forehead. "I'll give you the magic I'm researching. It's almost unfinished, but maybe it can help."

Volume 2: The Flowing Stars: Chapter 5: The Church of Bonding

In order to collect more information about the lake area and prepare for the battle against the pyroxenite dragon, Atai and Melina came to the second stop of their journey to Lienia - the Church of Marriage, introduced by Tops.

Melina glanced at the red circle on the map, then looked up at the deserted church entrance. "It sounds like a marriage agency, so why is there no one here? The marriage rate reported in the Royal City Weekly recently dropped significantly, but it's not zero, is it?"

She had originally thought about going into the church, asking the management to explain their proud matchmaking service, getting a birth chart, and playing games like "Double Neurasthenia" and "Heart to Heart," as a reference for future relationships. Ideally, she could even steal a few free friendship gifts at the end.

Now... all her little wishes have gone down the drain.

"Amei, we're not here to play." Ah Tui looked into the church and saw no one. He tentatively called out, "Excuse me, is anyone there?"

“Is anyone there…is anyone there…?”

The only sound that could be heard in the empty church was his own roar, and it seemed that the staff who stayed there had disappeared.

"Could it be that we came at the wrong time?" Melina hypothesized, "Perhaps the church's administrator is out of town to make a living."

The lake area's current economy is as primitive as a no-man's land, and it's hard to support yourself without fishing and catching shrimp every now and then. Who made the only government organization in this area close its doors and quit?

According to Topps, he ate fish for three meals a day and almost vomited from eating so much. He wanted to catch prawns and crabs but didn't dare because he couldn't beat the super aquatic animals.

Just as the two were preparing to visit this place again at another time, the large oval stone covered with moss under the church altar shook.

"Who's that? Disturbing this old man's sleep?" From the six cracks in the stone, a head, a tail, and four short legs emerged. The two men then realized that the stone was actually an old turtle!

Melina exclaimed, "Wow, the turtle can talk, and it speaks so fluently. Are there any talking fish, shrimps, or crabs in this place?"

After seeing the talking warrior Alexander the Pot, the witch's immunity to such things increased rapidly. She could now accept talking animals, plants, organic matter, and even inorganic matter without a specific shape.

Who knows if one day they'll encounter a talking slime while traveling? Perhaps the slime giant even possesses Ditto's shape-shifting abilities.

"Young man, that's where you're wrong." The old tortoise spoke so quickly that he didn't seem like the slow-moving turtle at all. "Just because rabbits do everything quickly, does that mean tortoises are necessarily slow when they talk, walk, and do things? You're just being biased. Don't let one or two silly stories influence your judgment of others."

"Uh..." Melina opened her mouth, wanting to say something but stopping herself. She didn't expect that this turtle was also a philosopher with rich views on turtle life.

"We were introduced here by Uncle Topps. May I ask if you are Miriye, the person who manages this church?" Ate was also a little confused. Before they came, Topps didn't tell them that they were coming to see a turtle, but there seemed to be no other living creature that could talk in this deserted church.

Hearing his words, the old turtle seemed to wake up from his drowsy state. Two gleams flashed in his mung bean-sized eyes. He looked to his left at Melina, then to his right at Ah Tui. "A man and a woman? Oh my, so we have guests. My apologies. Please wait a moment. I'll clean up this little place right away. I'll definitely let you experience the most amazing bonding ceremony."

"Don't bother, we are not..."

Miriye didn't give Ati any chance to explain. He used his short forelimbs to pull out a white bishop's hat from his tortoise shell and put it on his head. Then the short reptile moved at an unimaginable speed.

All they could see was a white whirlwind whizzing around them several times. Crooked ribbons were hung on the top of the abandoned church, and there were two unlit candles on the altar. An old turtle was lying in front of a sculpture with broken arms, with a solemn expression on his face. Under his reading glasses was a holy book with only one page left.

Then, the tune of "Wedding March" was played from some device unknown to me.

"Deng~dengdengdeng~dengdengdeng~"

Melina, as clever as she was, immediately realized that Miriye had probably misunderstood them because of their gender and age. "Grandpa Turtle, listen to me. It's not what you think. We're not here... at least not for a ceremony this time."

"I understand, I understand." Miriye smiled, a smile that said you didn't need any explanation. "When the enemy advances, I retreat. Playing hard to get. Young people these days love to play that game. But I still advise you to be as direct as possible. If you like someone, just say it directly. Don't waste time on those bends and turns. The sooner you get married, the sooner you can have children. I once had a couple here who got married young and later had a football team of children, enjoying the joy of family life."

"They gave birth to enough babies, enough babies, enough babies for a football team!" Melina's girlish heart could hardly bear such a high-density attack. Her white neck turned red to her ears, and the images in her mind were about to break through the sky.

Ah Tui was the first to notice something was wrong with her partner. She looked like the hot water in the boiler room, about to boil. "Amei, are you okay? There's smoke coming out of your head."

A young girl, lost in her own fantasy, with over three hundred thousand words in her mind, could no longer hear what others were saying. All she could think about was: Get married! Get married! Get married!

"Hate it, hate it, this beautiful girl is not ready to be a mother yet, ahhhh!"

Pray, say no!

“Bang—Pah—”

The golden halo that Melina subconsciously released blew away all the decorations in the church. A-Tu and Turtle were not spared either. They were both blown away by the extremely strong shock wave, and the background music stopped abruptly.

Fortunately, this prayer will only drive away those who approach, and it itself has no lethality, otherwise the witch's operation would have allowed her to kill two people in one go.

After manually converting her emotional energy into action, the overloaded girl finally calmed down. Looking at the chaotic scene in the church, she didn't know what to say: "Hehe, hehe, I feel like I just did something really great."

(PS: Although I want to fast-forward to marriage, it is unlikely to happen right away.)

Volume 2: The Flowing Stars: Chapter 6: Gold and the Full Moon

"Oh, so Tops introduced you." The old turtle, including its shell and body, weighed over a thousand pounds. With great effort, Miriye finally turned over with the help of the two. "You should have told me earlier. I mistook you for guests at a wedding and got all excited for nothing."

Ah Tui rolled his eyes: "We said it from the beginning. If you don't listen to us, what can we do? Do you think we'll chop you twice?"

Given the old turtle's massive size and abundant vitality, it would take hundreds of blows to kill it. Of course, Ah Tui is a kind and morally upright fader who wouldn't do such a cruel thing. At most, he would just complain about it.

"As we age, our hearing becomes less sharp. You young people should be more patient." The old turtle, relying on his age, laughed it off. "Since you are not here to patronize my little church, then you must have something to ask. I haven't chatted with anyone in a long time. I slept for several springs, summers, autumns and winters."

"Grandpa Miriye, we heard that you have lived here for a long time. We want to know about the pyroxenite dragon Smarag living in Lienia. It would be best if you could tell us its weakness." Melina quickly responded. She didn't want to mention the dark history of the violent lady just now. If anyone dared to mention it, she would keep casting the "rejection" prayer and perform physical amnesia.

Miriye shook his big head. "The story of the dragon has to start from Langlangegou. Why don't you find a place to sit down and I will tell you slowly."