please don't tell him

Another week passed, and Xu Wei still hadn't contacted Song Xi.

Song Xi didn't answer the phone calls or text messages. He was so worried that he asked Xu Chenyuan to look for him at Song Xi's house, but he couldn't knock on the door. The neighbors thought they were noisy and wanted to drive them away, saying that they lived here. One moved away.

Xu Chenyuan estimated that he was talking about Fang Yun, so he asked, "What about the other one?"

The neighbor thought for a while and said, "It seems that I came back two days ago, and heard the movement of the box in the middle of the night, so I left with it."

Xu Wei almost made him cry on the spot, grabbed Xu Chenyuan's clothes, and cried out, "He... he won't be overwhelmed..."

"No, no, don't think about it." Although he was comforting Xu Wei, Xu Chenyuan felt that he had no idea, so he could only say: "He still carries the suitcase. Is it necessary to bring luggage? Maybe it's because I'm in a bad mood and I went on a trip to relax."

After finally comforting Xu Wei, Lu Xinglan didn't know where he heard about it. He called Xu Chenyuan countless times a day, asking if he had any news about Song Xi.

Xu Chenyuan was very annoyed, and said: "How do I know? Xu Wei and I are also looking for him. Aren't you from his hometown? Go and find out."

Lu Xinglan was silent, and said: "Because he came out more than ten years ago, he fell out with his family. His father didn't allow him to go home. His mother loved him. Later, he came to Liucheng occasionally to visit, and he would go home too. money, but Mr. Song himself has not been back for more than ten years."

After Xu Chenyuan heard this, he probably guessed the reason why he hadn't gone back for so many years, probably it was inseparable from his sexuality.In that kind of small mountain village, it was more than ten years ago, and it was even more impossible to hear good things from others.So I couldn't help but wonder how much this man had suffered in silence.

How could he still have such a gentle temperament?

Xu Wei waited for a long time, and he had already called the police. The police were looking for him everywhere, and there were missing person notices posted in the newspapers.He can't do anything now, and he can only wait until he gets news from Song Xi one day, and waits for him to appear in front of him again.

After May, the weather became hotter and hotter. The cicadas lying on the tree trunks screamed heart-rendingly. The leaves of the elm trees were curled by the scorching sun. Gradually plump, able to fly out of the nest to be alone.

Xu Wei has been depressed these days, because of the hot weather, and because of the burning worry, he can't eat anymore, and he has lost a lot of weight visibly.

Seeing Xu Chenyuan worried, I tried every means to make him happy, and remembered that he wanted to eat another meal I cooked a while ago, so I took a weekend when my parents were not around, and took Xu Wei home. Cooked and ate.

Recently, the sea bass is at its most delicious. Xu Chenyuan bought one back, bought tofu and red peppers, and prepared to stew the fish. The leftover fish soup can be cooked for Xu Wei in the evening or porridge for dinner. .

Xu Chenyuan wore an apron and was busy cutting vegetables and washing fish in the kitchen. Xu Wei didn't help or make trouble for him, so he sat on a chair, hugged the back of the chair and quietly tilted his head to look at Xu Chen. Willing to cook.

He looks good cooking, his shirt sleeves are rolled up, exposing his strong and strong forearm, he is as handsome when he is holding a kitchen knife as when he is holding a basketball.He has been playing basketball in the sun recently, and he is already a little tanned, with a funny watch mark on his wrist, but he looks more masculine.

After all, Xu Chenyuan is two years older than Xu Wei, and now he has the appearance of a grown man. He thought it was too hot in the summer and cut his slightly long hair short. The neat short hair looks energetic and healthy. Be younger.

Xu Wei looked at his lover obsessively. He was cooking delicious dishes for himself in the kitchen, and he would come over with a plate and kiss him on the forehead after a while. It was a warm and touching scene. Without that luck, you can keep looking at it like this.

He really likes him very much, and wants to have a future with him, a home, daily necessities, and at night, eat snacks and watch unnutritious TV series, and may quarrel occasionally, but lying down After arriving on the bed, the other party will come over and hug him when he is half asleep and half awake, and when the sun rises the next day, he wakes up with his lover in his arms, and all the unhappiness will disappear.

He really really wanted to be with Xu Chenyuan for the rest of his life.

Xu Chenyuan devoted himself to dealing with the fish that was still bouncing around just after it was put on the chopping board. Now he finally chopped off the head of the fish, and cut open the belly of the fish to take out the internal organs. In the pot, before the tofu was put in, the phone rang suddenly.

Xu Chenyuan's hands were full of fish blood and oil stains, and he couldn't move his hands, so he asked Xu Wei, "Whose phone is it?"

Xu Wei saw that his mobile phone was quiet, so he stepped over the chair and said, "It seems to be yours."

"Who called?"

Xu Wei took the phone into the kitchen, handed it to him, and said, "It's Brother Lu."

Xu Chenyuan raised his hand and said with a wry smile: "I can't answer it, you can press it and turn on the speakerphone."

"Oh."

Xu Chenyuan turned on the tap and washed his hands under the sound of rushing water.

Xu Wei picked up the phone, and there was silence on the other end.

Xu Chenyuan put his face next to the phone and asked, "Hello? Hello? Talk, keep quiet!"

"Xu, Xu Chenyuan..." Lu Xinglan's voice trembled a little, he didn't know where he was now, there were several people talking over there, even Xu Chenyuan couldn't hear clearly.

"What's wrong? I'm cooking."

Xu Wei stood aside and quietly held up his mobile phone, listening to him talking on the phone.

Lu Xinglan said: "Make a wish, Song, Song Xi... Song Xi is dead. Don't tell Xu Wei yet..."

It's too late.

Xu Chenyuan's eyes widened, and he quickly wiped his hands on the towel to grab the phone back, but Xu Wei held the phone tightly and refused to let go, staring at Xu Chenyuan dully.

Xu Wei wanted to say something, ask something, even cry something, but his throat seemed to be choked by something, and it seemed that something was strangling his neck. He opened his mouth several times, but couldn't Make a sound.

"Hello...Hello?"

Suddenly there was no sound, Lu Xinglan looked at the phone and found that it hadn't hung up yet.

Xu Wei on the other end of the phone had lost any ability to think. He couldn't believe what he had heard ten seconds ago. He could only stare blankly at Xu Chenyuan, pleading with his eyes, hoping that he would give him a negative answer. , tell him he just misheard...

Xu Chenyuan took a deep breath and said, "Xiaowei, be obedient, and give me your phone."

Only then did Xu Wei obediently hand over the phone, and watched Xu Chenyuan turn off the speakerphone, and went to talk to Lu Xinglan.

But they were close enough for Xu Wei to hear what was said on the other end of the phone.

Suicide...wrist slashing...police...

Later, Xu Chenyuan said something to Lu Xinglan, but he didn't hear clearly. This was Xu Wei's last awareness of that day.

There is also the lingering nose, the strong smell of fish in the pot.

When Xu Wei came back to his senses again, it was already the next day. He was held by Xu Chenyuan and stood in a mourning hall.

Black and white ribbons, yellow and white flowers, these are the only three colors that can be seen in the eyes, Xu Wei dare not look up, dare not look at the black and white photo in the middle.

There were not many people who came to express their condolences, and there was no crying in the mourning hall. Everyone was as quiet as if they were performing a mime.Xu Wei didn't know anyone except Xu Chenyuan and Lu Xinglan. Fang Yun wasn't there, so he didn't know whether he didn't receive the bad news or didn't dare to come.

Lu Xinglan stepped forward and bowed, put a bouquet of lilies in front of the coffin, turned back and stood beside Xu Chenyuan.

"I found him." Lu Xinglan didn't know who he was talking to. He stared blankly ahead, "I went to his house to look for him. That was the 12th time I went to his house to look for him. I asked my neighbor to help me pay attention. , as long as he informs me as soon as he comes back, I also gave that neighbor 100 yuan..."

Xu Wei raised his head and looked at his face sadly.

"I went to knock on the door, but no one looked, so I borrowed a hammer from my neighbor and knocked the lock down. No one was in the room, and there was the sound of water in the bathroom."

"He was lying in the bathtub, covered in blood, with a red wine bottle beside him. I don't know whether it was wine or blood. The police said..."

"Lu Xinglan!" Xu Chenyuan lowered his voice and warned him, "Stop talking."

"Tell me." Xu Wei's voice sounded unbelievably calm, and his eyes were full of innocent blankness. He should appear in the teacher's office to ask a math problem instead of asking him in the mourning hall. How did my favorite brother and teacher die?

Only Xu Chenyuan knew, because he was holding Xu Wei's hand, which was trembling constantly, and there was also a steady stream of cold sweat, and he was holding Xu Chenyuan's hand tightly, so hard that he almost squeezed it. Breaking the bones of Xu Chenyuan's hand, he regarded Xu Chenyuan as the last straw, but that also made him unable to hold on, unable to listen to Lu Xinglan's next words.

"The police said," Lu Xinglan's voice sounded, and he lowered his voice, "Usually slitting one's wrists is rarely successful, because if the main artery cannot be found, the wound will heal before death, but he obviously knows this. So after drinking alcohol and soaking his hands in hot water, the blood flow accelerated, and within four to ten minutes at most, he would..."

Lu Xinglan couldn't continue.

Xu Wei couldn't listen anymore.

It's a sunny day outside today.