dramatic death

I don't like to think about what happened that day.

Human beings always have a certain repulsion to feared things, as if I forgot the reason why my mother left me many years ago, and attributed that accident to a simple parting.I refused to recall everything that happened at that time, and deliberately blurred the boundary between reality and nightmare. I kept questioning uninformed and unrelated people, repeating the facts I imagined over and over again, in an attempt to convince myself.

I told everyone that my mother left me for happiness.

So I began to believe that my mother left me in pursuit of happiness.

She abandoned me.

If it weren't for the nightmare I experienced that day on the lab bench, I would always remember that she abandoned me.

Memory is always subjective and cannot be erased, and forgetting is people's instinctive protection for themselves.It's as if I'm resting on the instructor's shoulder, with my palm against his soft back, as long as I don't deliberately recall what happened on Friday, it seems that I can always be immersed in the current warmth.

I thought that I should persuade myself to obey, so that I would not have to bear the consequences of resistance, I should force myself to be obedient, maybe I could get rid of the damn reagents in the school hospital in the first place.

I know I should try to think of the good.

But I can't do it.

In a person's life, there will always be countless things that he wants to forget, and countless people who want to escape.They combine the once bright and gorgeous sunshine to form the so-called past, which has been covered with layers of dust over the long years.

They will never disappear, buried under the appearance of "deja vu".They slyly reveal their beautiful tail, tempting you to explore, and then fall into the dark hell.

Sadness and joy coexist, but we cannot pour our hearts into joy.

Pain is always easier to remember.

The soft sun in the morning poured into the heating system, gradually dispelling the winter cold.The instructor combed my hair with his slender fingers, and his warm breath lingered in my ears. I could hear his heartbeat beating gently and steadily, as if some kind of predestined future would come mercilessly.

I understand, I can't escape.

As long as the instructor is still around, I will definitely be sucked into this vortex.

Cloudy drowsiness flooded my eyelids, and in my vague consciousness, I heard the clear and moist voice of the instructor.

He said, "Do you remember what you dreamed about last night?"

……

I remember that.

……

The consulting room of the school hospital was far more spacious than I imagined. When I opened the iron door, which was comparable to a prison cell, all I could see was the fully equipped operating table in the center of the room and a pair of tables and chairs abandoned in the corner.

Yesterday evening, I was lying on the operating table, and I could see the drooping head of the instructor when I tilted my head.The unsmiling Dr. Chen locked me in the cold mechanical forceps and put on a disposable gag under the glare of the light.

I looked up, like a dog being caught, staring at the work badge he had pinned in his coat pocket.

——"Chen Yan"

The silver-white sign wobbled under the operating light, and the glare of the glare paralyzed my remaining consciousness.I couldn't think about what the instructor had experienced, nor could I imagine what I would experience. I could only feel the sharp needles piercing my skin, and the cold liquid pouring in, like countless molluscs burrowing into my blood vessels.

The sound faded away, and I seemed to be bound and thrown into the silent deep sea.

I can't hear any "voices" other than tinnitus.I can't tell if I'm breathing, I can't be aware of my situation, I can't even control my mind to act, I can't feel any emotion enough to be called "human".

I was like being pulled out of my body and stuffed into an old machine with only 0s and 1s.

Until the sound of the sphere hitting the ground came from the muddy consciousness.

"Boom"

"Boom"

"Boom, boom, boom, boom."

I saw a bright red ball roll across the clean corridor and hit the toe of my black shoe.

……

"What did you dream about?" the instructor asked.

"I dreamed of myself."

I closed my eyes and answered softly.

……

It was a sunny corridor.

The hot summer sun caresses the window sill through the sparse tree shadows, and falls on the clean floor through the small green plants.A pair of hands appeared in my vision. It picked up the ball on the ground and handed it to the little boy who suddenly appeared a few steps away.

"Who are you?" the little boy asked.

"I'm the one to kill you," I heard myself answer.

Then the ball fell from the soft palm of the little boy, and screams filled with fear exploded in the hallway. I watched myself pick the lock and open the wardrobe, topple the stack of quilts and pillows, and I knew what I was looking for.

—I was looking for my poor prey.

It was a young woman in a red dress. She had soft hair like a wooden wind chime, and a pair of eyes that seemed to be filled with sunshine when she smiled.

I heard my own steady footsteps echoing in the empty hallway.

"pat"

"pat"

Then it stopped abruptly, replaced by a small sob.

Someone is crying.

I realized that in the room not more than ten steps away from me, the little boy holding the ball was sobbing in fear.He is like a timid hamster, shivering in a ball. He is no taller than my elbow, and as long as I try hard, he can choke his throat.

I smashed the fire cabinet in the room and traded my gun for a small fire axe.

The boy curled up under the bed in the room and cried intermittently. I think he may have seen the toe of my shoe, and he may be trembling with his mouth covered.

He must be terrified.

……

The instructor's hand combing my hair stopped for a moment, his hand passed through the broken hair on the back of my neck, and put his warm palm on the back of my neck.

"You killed him?" I heard him ask.

"I didn't," I replied, "I didn't. I was standing in front of that bed when I heard a mess of footsteps."

That woman is smarter than I thought.

She showed some flustered footsteps and took my eyes off a young child.I heard her staggering down the corridor behind me, slamming a door at the end of the muffled sound of footsteps.

This game is like a simple hide and seek.

The instructor stroked the back of my neck, his voice was smooth and soft, with a hint of temptation that could not be ignored.

I heard him ask, "What are you going to do?" and heard myself reply, "I'm going to kill that woman."

I saw myself walking down a deserted hallway as the fire ax whizzed through the air and scratched the picture frame on the wall.I followed the woman's footsteps through the dusty rooms until I pushed past the children's room at the end of the corridor and hacked her to death on the ground.

I see her blood running over the toes of my shoes.

The instructor's actions to comfort me paused, he lowered his head, his forehead was lowered to mine, and my gaze was firmly locked in his pupils.

"Listen," he said, "those crap things the school hospital gave us do give us nightmares, but those nightmares are most likely fake. You don't have to stick too much to the things in your dreams, after all, now In a society ruled by law, let alone killing people, you will be arrested by the righteous police uncle even if you go to someone’s house twice.”

"But that woman was killed," I said.

The instructor shook his head: "That's your illusion."

"It's not my hallucination," I looked into his eyes, "It's not a hallucination, she died in my room."

"While I was hiding under the bed and shivering, she died in the room that belonged to me."

"I can fool anyone, I can fool myself."

"But I won't lie to you."

I took the instructor's hand and covered his bright eyes.

"I won't lie to you. Those nightmares that frightened me all happened in my forgotten past."

"It just changed the angle and reappeared in front of my eyes."

……

The copper bell on the door made a crisp sound.

Yin Tong pulled out his thoughts from the memory, and looked towards the half-open store door upon hearing the sound.After enjoying afternoon tea, the family of three was leaving his dessert house talking and laughing. A suspension car stopped across the road not far away. A doctor in a white coat was kicked out of the car door. .

The man looked somewhat familiar, with a sleepy baby face hidden under the messy self-roll.Yin Tong propped his head on the bar counter, watched him run across the bustling commercial street through tall, short, fat and thin glasses, his thoughts circled back and forth in his memories, until the other party pushed open the door, and finally I can barely remember his name.

The doctor's name is Tong Shuyao, and he looks very worthy of his gay name.This guy was an old acquaintance of his. When Christie took him to see a psychiatrist, he was a very poor man who yawned seven or eight times in less than 10 minutes.

Tong quack doctor is only forty-six years old, a university graduate and a postgraduate student. He is not skilled in professional skills, but medical skills are an ancestral job.He is not very old, but he is almost busy on weekdays. Christie will occasionally take Yintong to him for a checkup. If you don't make an appointment, you won't see anyone at all.

——When he was scalded two days ago, it was Tong Shuyao who found him the ointment.

The young doctor stepped on the wooden floor and walked in arrogantly, looked down at Yin Tong for a long time like a general returning from victory, then cried out aggrieved, and threw himself on the bar with his hands outstretched.

"Three cups of black tea without sugar, thank you very much."

Boss Yin froze his hands while mixing the milk tea, and blinked his eyes as if seeing some new human: "You won't drink pudding milk tea this time?"

"I want to drink," Tong Shuyao pressed his face down on the table, and sang three or five tones in one sentence, for fear that Yintong would not understand the sadness and melancholy in his heart, "Boss said milk tea grows meat, my body The fat has exceeded the standard of normal people, and if I drink it again, I will go downstairs to run laps with the teacher in my arms."

Yin Tong thought about the scene for a while, and comforted Tong Yongyi's fluffy head: "That's pretty good, maybe it can become a supernatural legend in your department."

"I don't want to be famous forever because of this."

The doctor Tong quack on the opposite side of the bar didn't need anyone's support at all, even if Yin Tong didn't speak, he could sing a whole oboe in a long-winded manner.Boss Yin was making tea while listening to his complaints. From busy schoolwork to cold lab, from roommates not giving warmth to seniors getting their third doctorate degree, Che Jilu’s conversation revolved around the legendary "Bai Yanxing" for several times. After going back and forth, at the end I still didn't forget to force Yintong to say Amway.

"You really don't want to take a look? My senior brother, Bai Yanxing, is one of the best geniuses in the academy."

Thank you, little boss Yin.

Tong Shuyao couldn't persuade Yin Tong, shrugged his shoulders and didn't intend to force her.He glanced at the row of decorative bottles and cans on the bar, and nodded his head as he undressed.He said: What are you red?Nice color. "

Yin Tong glanced at it, and turned the cup to reveal the label on the front.

Doctor Tong's yawn was choked by the words "Bloody Mary".

He curled his lips in distaste, and reached out to grab the order interface on the bar.The bar facing the door was a bit cold after all, Tong Shuyao was not as cold as he thought, as soon as the customers opened the door, he would be sneezed by the cold wind that rushed in.

"Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! You can't do this shop, how can you invite customers in this cold!"

Yintong looked a little funny looking at his appearance, but didn't dare to laugh out loud, in exchange for the other party crying with snot and tears, and then intentionally smeared him all over.He raised the temperature in the room, so that Tong Shuyao's eyes that disliked the white coat were restrained a little, and he also paid attention to saving the face of Tong quack, and didn't open his mouth to mock him for being weak.

"You have no idea how dirty this thing is," Tong Yongyi shook the corner of his white coat, "If the boss hadn't been watching, I wouldn't have run around wearing it."

Physician Tong Yong spoke indignantly, pointed out the window, and squeezed out a few tears from his eyes: "My boss, the murderous weapon in the world, he actually asked me to run errands in this terrible weather! I am a medical student! I am a delicate and frail person. Medical student! I'm not a fitness instructor!"

Yin Tong couldn't help laughing: "You are discriminatory by profession, whoever told you that a medical student must be delicate and weak. But you are usually very busy, why are you so free today, and you still come so far to come to me Buy something to drink at the store?"

"There was a power outage. The courtyard is still in rush repairs," Tong Shuyao propped his chin and muttered, "Speaking of which, do you know why the power was cut off in Central City last night? This whole city almost ruined my graduation. Thesis, if it wasn't for the automatic recovery system in the background of the terminal, I guess I would still be crying with the teacher in my arms."

Yin Tong put down the mixing spoon and turned on the tap to wash away the mucus from his fingers.He said: "You shouldn't ask me this question, what about your almighty senior, the genius senior didn't answer your doubts?"

Tong Shuyao blinked when he heard the words, looked up at Yin Tong for a while across the bar, and suddenly showed a lovely smile.

He said: "Comrade Xiao Yin is really smart, how could I not have asked, I must have asked my seniors before I came to you, didn't I?"

"Then why should I ask you after I asked the senior?"

Yin Tong raised his head, facing Shang Tong Shuyao's smiling eyes.His mouth was curved like a banana boat, and his bright eyes seemed to be filled with sweet and greasy ice cream.

"My senior said that the blackout last night was because the 'heart' of Central City was stolen by a villain."

Tong Shu said with a smile.

"Why did I come to you?"

"Because they sent me to see if the thief is with you."