come on, eat cookies

.

"It's my husband."

Xueba folded a page of the book and looked at him solemnly.

"Ah."

"Handsome guy, may I ask what kind of person do you think this handsome, extraordinary, suave and suave Yushu Linfeng Fengshen, smart, cute, sensible and well-behaved partner is like?"

"..." Xueba was silent, the atmosphere was very awkward at this time, Xueba was about to smooth things over, but he heard Xueba's calm voice.

The voice was deep and magnetic, but the content was no less than a public execution.

"I think if you can memorize all the hypocritical idioms that you boast about yourself into classical Chinese, you will definitely not only get 89 in Chinese."

Fearing that the air would suddenly be quiet, the student angrily threw down the notice with a look of resentment.

"Is it my fault? Isn't it because the Chinese teacher is an old man who likes to drink and doesn't like to wash his hair. Whenever I get close to him, my tender skin will wither!"

"so?"

"If I get good grades, he will definitely come to me every day. If that happens, I will be devastated!!"

"...I said, you are so imaginative, why is your composition hovering on the verge of passing?"

"The labor and management said it, but it's not because of..."

"Oh."

Xue Zha's eyes widened, he grinned and pressed Xue Ba's arm, and opened his mouth to bite.

This level is no less than that of a kitten scratching its itch.

"What's the matter with your disbelieving eyes?! Let me ask you, is it more important for me or the Chinese teacher? How much am I in your heart?"

The quarrel between couples is always nonsensical. It is obvious that the previous sentence was still discussing why you did not accompany me, but in the next second, it became about your attitude, who is more important between me and another person, and so on.

If you choose poorly, you will die ugly.

Xueba naturally chose to live, so he hugged the student who was still blowing his hair, and told him personally about the question of who is more important.

Xueba did it for two or three times, until Xueba lay on the edge of the sofa crying and begging for mercy. His pajamas were like leaves in the cold wind, draped half naked on his body. Xueba looked at him with satisfaction. The scumbag of a student, kissed his earlobe, and decided to let him go.

After taking a shower with the dregs in his arms, he wiped the child clean. His whole body was rosy, like a mature little apple. Xueba's eyes darkened, and he turned and went to the bathroom.

Before leaving, Xueba said in a low voice: "How many catties? Six taels, no more."

So the listless scumbag sent Xueba to the bathroom with angrily eyes, he thought that Xueba would say that he weighed a thousand catties, what the hell is Liuliang?

Twisting his aching narrow waist, he scolded the bully for being ungrateful for his sex, for being irresponsible for eating, and for being stupid and stupid, while picking up the books scattered on the floor.

The scumbag was muttering bad things when he happened to turn to the cornered page, and there was a sentence written on it, which the scumbag read out in a low voice.

"An adult's heart weighs about 300 grams, and its effect is huge. For example, a person's heart beats about 70 times per minute in a quiet state...that is to say, an adult's heart is about six taels."

Six taels?Six taels!

The scumbag thought of the words Xueba threw to him just now, and suddenly laughed, feeling warm in his heart.

"Hey, why are you smiling so obscenely?" The bully came out wiping his hair, and saw the trash on the sofa holding a book in his hands.

"Where is it obscene, I'm smiling with a hormonal sunshine." The scumbag showed his power at the tyrant, and his smile became even brighter.

"I just turned on the hot water in the shower, why did you have a fever? Are you confused?"

Xueba walked up to Xue Zha, took his temperature with the back of his hand, and frowned seriously.

"I know you love me very much."

Xue Zha stepped on the sofa barefoot with a smile, wrapped his arms around Xue Ba's neck, put his weight on him, wrapped his legs around his strong waist, and rubbed his head on his chest by the way.

Fearing that he would fall, Xueba had no choice but to hug him tightly and let him turn into a koala.

"Ok?"

"Stop pretending, have you been conquered by my charm?" The scumbag stared into the bully's eyes.

Eyes can't lie, Xueba's eyes are shining brightly, full of love and affection for him.

"Sure enough, I can't clearly burn it." Xueba curled the corner of his mouth, and carried him into the bedroom.

Under the active sweet temptation of the scumbag, Xueba still couldn't hold back after all, and dedicated all his children and grandchildren to him, and as a bonus, there was a heart of only six taels, which was filled with the voice, appearance and appearance of the scumbag. Trapped him, and trapped himself.

"Ah ah ah ah ah……"

"It's so noisy." Xueba frowned, raised Xueba's legs, and put them on his shoulders.

"Why don't you tell me that the Chinese teacher is your father?"

"You didn't ask..." Xueba resisted the temptation and asked Xueba to finish asking all at once, otherwise his eardrums would probably be ruptured when he asked later.

"Well... it's over, it's over, I only got such a few points in the test, how should I face my father-in-law? It's all your fault!!"

"...I feel like there is a way to make amends now."

"Huh?" Xue Zha blinked his eyes with sincerity.

Xueba lowered his head and grasped his small shiny mouth, the tip of his tongue brushed against his teeth, his lower body sank slightly, and he started a new attack on the city.

In a daze, Xueza seemed to hear Xueba talking.

"Just take care of his son."

what is it then?The scumbag didn't have time to think, so the tyrant put his arms around him and fell into a deep sleep.

Romance Authors and Danmei Authors

Wen Liang has recently encountered a big trouble.

Speaking of this big trouble, at the root of it, Wen Liang was still to blame for being careless. After taking a shower yesterday, he casually clicked a like on Weibo without wearing glasses.

Although it is not a strange thing to like it, the bad thing is that the weibo you like is about Mr. Wen, the contracted author of the pure love section of a certain website, and Bai Xu, the author of the romance section of the same website. Tiaowei is a little yellow joke between the two of them.

But the most coincidental thing is that this "Lord Wen" is exactly Wen Liang himself.

Wen Liang hung up the editor's phone call, took a deep breath, and logged on to Weibo with the mentality of Dong Cunrui blowing up a bunker. Although he was mentally prepared, he was still dazzled by thousands of private messages and comments.

He flipped through the hot comments on the latest Weibo, and immediately understood the complicated mood of the editor just now.

……

Mr. Wen is the general attack: Mr. Wen, is this a public show of love?

Just love to eat melons: Lord Wen, please be gentle!Our teacher Bai is very weak.

fragile?When Wen Liang saw this comment, he rolled his eyes, remembering the last time the author had a private meeting, Bai Runian was standing next to him with a height of 1.9 meters, he tilted his head and smiled at Wen Liang, then solemnly Said: "I really thought the legendary Mr. Wen was a gong, but I didn't expect Teacher Wen to be Xiaoshou's height."

Wen Liang was furious on the spot: "What's wrong with Laozi's height of 1.7 meters, what's wrong with Xiaoshou? You are a romance writer, do you know what is offensive and what is shou?"

Bai Runian raised his hand and touched Wen Liang's head, lowered his eyes, smiled softly, and continued, "I'm sorry, I just think you are cute. I have read your novels, and there must be many people who like you."

In a word, Wen Liang was defeated.

Wen Liang was like a deflated ball, he cast a gloomy glance at Bai Runian, and gave him a "why would you think so" expression.

After a while, Wen Liang came back to his senses, and he continued to scroll down.

Whitebeard's little girlfriend: Which [-]th-line writer is this, who wants to make us more popular?

Baixu and I: Shameless, you think we like boys so much?Don't look at your own appearance, what kind of crap is that written, and you have the nerve to rub it? !

……

Wen Liang gritted her teeth, thinking, I'm just kidding?I am an author with 10,000+ followers, and I angrily found the follower "Baixu", but after clicking in, I was taken aback by the number of more than 100 million followers.

Now, Wen Liang couldn't express his pain, he wanted to cancel the like, but found that it was too late, his fans had already started tearing up with Bai Runian...

The white beard is my husband: Mr. Wen, please don't get us white beards if you are gay, please?

Mr. Wen, I like you very much: Can you go upstairs and turn right?This is Master Wen's Weibo, besides, how do you know that Bai Xu is not gay?

……

Wen Liang couldn't bear it any longer. He sent a private message to "White Beard" and went off the battlefield with his bare hands. As for why his fans thought he was attacking, there was a reason for that.

This is all due to the fact that Mr. Wen's interactions with fans are generally cold "um, ah, thank you, is it?" and the like.Naturally, after a long time, those who said that Wen Liang was affected felt that they might be dazzled, and silently admitted that Mr. Wen was the main attack.

Also because...

Mr. Wen is just Mr. Wen’s reply: What kind of biscuit are you?You barking groundhog! !Bounce, all bounce.

Mr. Wen is just Mr. Wen’s reply: I plagiarized?I haven't even seen Teacher Baixu's works, okay, Xiaobing** shut up!

……

They don't want to admit that it's their Mr. Wen who uses such curse words that elementary school students don't bother to use. Everyone would rather make up for the 1.9-meter Mr. Wen, holding red wine in one hand, typing with a cold face, and looking at the comments with disdain , and then slowly replied to these words.

Although it is very contrasting and cute, the reality is indeed the opposite. The 1.7-meter Wen Liang is squatting on the sofa, poking at the phone winkingly, and occasionally responds coolly, and will pick up the instant noodles on the coffee table and grab a few bites.

Wen Liang was replying enthusiastically, but here he received a Wechat notification from Bai Runian.

Bai Xu: "Why didn't you reply to my private message?"

Wen Liang flipped through it, private message