Sap

University is different from high school. Without the teacher's patient and detailed explanation, what is converted is a large number of lectures and countless group assignments, as well as heavy materials that need to be studied by oneself.

Even Gu Cheng'an, who didn't put in too much effort in high school, still spent a lot of time completing homework and self-study for the sake of school grades, just to grow up one step faster than others.

The sentence that he is nothing without his parents, in his heart, unknowingly became a pressure, reminding him almost every moment that if he wants to protect another person, he must be independent, and he is enough. powerful.

The international calls made back and forth every day and the indifferent female answering voice became Gu Chengan's only daily life outside of studying.He abandoned club activities and even the opportunity to make friends, just to be able to complete these earlier, go back to find Lu Youxi, and tell him that it is true that he likes him, and how helpless he was during the time he left.

And there are some things, like studying, you can get a better grade by working hard, but some things are not, like finding Lu Youxi.

During Gu Cheng'an's freshman year, no matter how many times he entrusted his friends in China to help him find them, and no matter how many times he flew back and forth like this when he was on vacation.There is still no news, Lu Youxi seems to have disappeared in the world where he exists, except for some small things left over from that family to prove his existence, for a while, together with Gu Cheng'an, they will think about whether it is just him a conjecture.

If freshman year was a beginning leading to darkness, then meeting Si Jin in sophomore year, I don't know if it gave him hope or increased his despair.

I met Si Jin in an open class in the courtyard once.Because of the different classifications under the business schools, the two of them, Si and Gu, did not expect that they could not meet each other because of their different majors despite being in a university and a school at the same time.

Although Gu Cheng'an knew that Si Jin was also in the United States, in his knowledge, Si Jin continued his high school in New York on the east coast, and he never expected to meet him in California on the west coast.

And the other party was also very surprised by it, but he was not surprised that the two of them would meet like this, but he was surprised by Gu Chengan's depressed state.

It's not that Gu Cheng'an didn't notice this kind of depression, but he thought he had tried his best, but he still couldn't get rid of this growing mental exhaustion.He needed to rest, and Si Jin gave him such a gap.

Different from the freshman, Gu Cheng'an met Si Jin, and began to go to wine bars and parties with him often.He gradually discovered that it is not uncommon for a person to numb himself at a certain time.But paralysis is paralysis, he still can't stop the phone call that he has to make every day, it seems to be the only medicine that can make him fall asleep.It is also like an addictive drug that has penetrated directly into the body.

It's not that he hasn't asked Si Jin if he has any news, but Si Jin doesn't know either.After all, since leaving at that time, Si Jin already felt that he was not qualified to pay attention to that person, but who would have thought that he would meet the person who was supposed to be with that person in Jiangcheng here.

Si Jin saw him arguing with his family on the phone again and again, saying that even if he couldn't find him, he would look for him, and he couldn't help but want to know why he was here, but he didn't open his mouth until one time Gu Cheng'an drank too much , I said it myself.

And that day, when they had a fight, Si Jin pointed at his nose and scolded, "Are you really him? You deserve it."

Gu Cheng'an was speechless, he knew that people like Si Jin usually didn't bother to scold people like this, but scolding him like this showed that what he did was really too much.

It's your own fault.Gu Cheng'an deeply understood the meaning of this word.

That fight didn't turn into a mutual understanding in the end, because a week after Gu Cheng'an recovered from his injury, Si Jin directly switched to another school to study because of the exchange quota for his major.

But time slipped away in a snap of the fingers, and Gu Cheng'an, who still had nothing to gain in his junior year, finally began to choose a path he had never considered.

Just like the father of his host family said: "Sometimes, people's fate is so shallow that if you lose it, you may really lose it. If you want to tie this matter to your life, you will only get more and more lost. Look backwards. People can’t always look backwards, they have to go forward anyway, not to mention whether you go or not, time and him will also go forward.”

From the third year of high school to the third year of junior high school, four years.Gu Cheng'an didn't know how to do better. He tried his best to find a balance between finding him and becoming stronger. He felt that he was working hard, but he got nothing.

The possibilities he once thought were exhausted by 1,424 nights of busy phone calls and apologies from friends.

He didn't even know what path he could choose besides going forward.

It can be said that, how easy is it to break free from such a prison?How easy is it to dissociate from the behaviors developed by 1,424 silent phone calls?

It's just that besides forcing myself to do it, what can I do? Those long days and nights are not torture.

One year, two years, three years, from graduating with a master's degree to entering the workplace, and then Si Jin suddenly found him and asked him if he wanted to return to China to start a company together.

Time has smoothed out the pain in his heart, and only when that name is mentioned, will he occasionally think of those youthful and ignorant impulses, and the feelings that were destroyed before they had time to cherish.

However, who would have predicted that on such a day, the longing that had been engraved in my heart would be spread out in front of my eyes.Does it hurt?Naturally it hurts.

If you don't cherish the things in front of you, you won't become so timid.

Be careful enough to be afraid that the other party will disappear before your eyes once again.

So facing Lu Youxi, he can only be careful with him.But even so, he still seems to have made a mistake.

Si Jin raised his glass and took a sip slowly, then asked him, "What are you afraid of? Are you afraid that he will leave again?"

A small half glass of wine was poured into the wine glass again, together with the crisp sound of ice cubes, Gu Cheng'an was silent for two seconds before saying: "Well, it's been so long, he probably doesn't want me to disturb his current life."

He couldn't help sighing: "Indeed, it's been eight years. He has been moving forward, and so have I, but after meeting him, I really want to go back to the past, but why should I want him to accompany me?" Let’s go back like this.”

"Go back? Are you joking?" Si Jin was a little serious when he was said this way, "You are right, you want to go back to eight years ago, this kind of thing is impossible. But you are really sure that he came out ?”

"Isn't it?" Gu Chengan asked.

He froze for a moment, reacted for two seconds, and suddenly frowned and asked Si Jin, "What do you mean?"

Si Jin raised the corner of his mouth slightly, rubbed his fingers against the rim of the cup, took a sip, and said, "Although I knew where he was a long time ago, I never came back to look for him. When I really came back to look for him, he I almost graduated from university, and in those years I came back to see him almost every year, and there were many men and women by his side, but he was never able to be with anyone."

"Eight years," Si Jin tapped his finger on the edge of the cup, "You didn't look for anyone else, and he didn't look for anyone else either. Don't you know what you are all for?"

Gu Chengan listened to the silence, but Si Jin swallowed the wine in one gulp, and then continued to speak: "What's more, you can't put it down at all, can you?"

Hearing this, the person next to him sighed, and said in a low voice: "I can't let it go, but it's that memory, like what he said. The wound is healed, but it doesn't mean the pain is forgotten. I know the pain, It can even be regarded as understanding, so I can’t just stay by his side regardless of his feelings. I’m afraid of pain, and I’m even more afraid of his pain. I can’t be so selfish.”

"So what do you mean, you are still thinking of giving up for his sake?" Si Jin's voice was a little cold: "I don't care if the wound hurts, and it's yours to make up for the damage you caused yourself. I don't care about the matter. The only thing I can tell you is that he has had a bad life in the past few years. "

"If I could have smoothed it instead of you," he narrowed his eyes and said with a little anger in his voice, "it's not your turn to sit here now. I couldn't do it, so I gave up, I I found you, but what about you?"

Gu Chengan propped his forehead with his hands, frowning tightly.Si Jin's words were like knives, every sentence was scratched in his heart, and he felt the sharp pain.

When Si Jin left, Gu Cheng'an still thanked him, but Si Jin wasn't really angry, and just jokingly threw him a few more things, saying that he should.And Gu Cheng'an didn't say anything, and he complied with everything knowing that he was wrong.

Before returning home, Gu Cheng'an went downstairs to Lu Youxi's house again. Even though the light on the fifth floor was completely extinguished and he couldn't see anything, he still leaned against the wall downstairs as if he had some sustenance. Watching quietly.It wasn't until the pack of cigarettes was empty that he got up helplessly, then turned and walked outside.

Jiangcheng is no longer cool in summer.There was no wind at night, and after a while, the wine seemed to be soaked in hot air.

After arriving home, Gu Chengan took a shower and lay on the bed, feeling not sober but unable to fall asleep, the past events mixed with the recent ones made his head dizzy.It wasn't until the phone beeped that he saw a message sent four or five hours ago.

Said it was 【Everything about the store has been discussed and settled, and Youxi has also confirmed it.The partner is your business, I haven't told him yet, but you should think about how to explain it to him.As for the conditions that you said to thank me before, you don't need it. Let's count it as my cousin's compensation to you.Come on, kid. 】