ex-boyfriends reborn

My psychiatrist is named Ji.

His psychological clinic is located in an alley in the old city, which is famous because it is remote.There is always a pot of mimosa on his desk, and the sunlight is taken away by the window sill, so it can't shine.I am very interested in this pot of grass, and I have to touch it with my fingertips every time until every plant is shyly closed.

Sometimes I don't stretch until I'm gone.

Doctor Ji is a man in his forties, but his face has not aged. I dare not look at him directly, otherwise I will look too tired.

"Mr. Gu, have you slept better recently?"

I sat on the stool, although I have been here several times, I am still nervous. "I didn't take sleeping pills yesterday."

"Oh?" Dr. Ji raised his eyebrows, "Is this the first time you haven't taken your medicine in three years?"

"...Actually, it's not the first time. During this period of time, I will choose not to take one day. Because you said that taking too much of this medicine is not good, so I am trying to quit."

Doctor Ji smiled at me approvingly, his eyes full of encouragement, "How did you sleep last night?"

I said honestly, "Not bad, but I had a dream."

Dr. Ji recorded carefully, the tip of his pen rustling on the paper. "Is it still the same dream?"

"Yes. In the dream, I was on a lake surrounded by trees. The lake was frozen and many carp were frozen, but they had human faces. They just kept looking at me, and their eyes followed me. I was very I was afraid, so I could only keep running forward, to the place where there were trees, but I couldn't find the end, and I couldn't reach the shore."

"But it's a little different this time, isn't it?"

"The ice melted wherever I passed," I murmured.Most dreams are not clear, and my mind is blurred when I wake up.It's just that I had this dream too many times, and I was forced to repeat the details over and over again. Even the slightest changes in my memories will leave a deep impression on me. "The ice melted into water, and those carp were freed from their captivity, and swam to the bottom of the lake, where they disappeared in a blink of an eye."

"how about you?"

"I also fell into the lake, but the water was warm. It seemed that there was a huge heat source at the bottom of the lake, burning the lake water constantly. But those carp appeared again, and the lake water was dark and green, but they surrounded I opened my mouth wide open, and then—”

Doctor Ji frowned and stopped writing.

"—and then someone took my hand."

Doctor Ji blinked, "Did you see his face clearly?"

I looked at him frankly, "No."

Doctor Ji asked again, "He held your hand, then what?"

"The man's face was covered with a layer of light, and it was blurry. I only remember that he lifted me up to the lake. It seemed that I could really breathe comfortably at that time. When I woke up, it was already morning."

After a pause, I added, "This isn't exactly a nightmare, is it?"

"Mr. Gu, although you only came to me a month ago, your condition is the fastest recovery among my patients." Dr. Ji closed the pen cap and sighed, "It doesn't look like a serious illness that has been depressed for a long time. I guess it's not my fault."

This time I was full of doubts.

"The medicine I prescribed for you still needs to be taken regularly." Doctor Ji looked at the table, and the mimosa returned to its original state. "I suggest that you try to get in touch with this person in real life. It should be very helpful to your condition."

"Doctor Ji, do you really think I'm better?" I hesitated, "You know, I committed suicide three years ago. I haven't seen a doctor since I thought I was cured. But two months ago, I My condition suddenly worsened again, and I was very afraid..."

Dr. Ji said to me gently, "I have learned that the reason why you seemed to be cured three years ago is because your father stayed by your side wholeheartedly. It only treats the symptoms but not the root cause. He can't untie your knot. The dark mood is always there, so it aggravates the consequences."

"What about now?" I asked stubbornly, "Will anything happen to me because of this disease?"

"Mr. Gu, when you care about the harm your death will bring to others, it is already a sign of improvement. A real depressed patient is not afraid of death, just like you once."

He said it quietly and powerfully, and I think it makes sense.

I subconsciously wanted to refute, but Ruan Dongci's face suddenly appeared in my mind.He smiled cleanly and heartily, neither burning the cold winter nor turbulent undercurrents.