broken sun

Shi Ze settled down in Xu Li's house of dozens of square meters during his vacation.

The way Xu Li burst into tears that night made Shi Ze and Xu Li know what he had done wrong for the first time since they had known each other for nearly ten years.

It turned out that the apology and love he said were perfunctory, too indifferent.

Xu Li doesn't want those worthless sporadic guilt, the anxiety and despair after losing contact, and all the regrets in the six-year replay. Xu Li doesn't want these.

Xu Li wants his respect, his understanding, his trust, and his true love.It's not just an "I love you" that blurted out.

But in the past ten years, his attitude has changed several times, and Shi Ze has never done it.

In the dark, Shi Ze sat up sideways, his fingers did not leave Xu Li's face, the warm liquid flowed down a second ago, and it became cold as soon as he wiped it, and it flowed into the internal organs wet and cold.As well as breathing, body temperature, Xu Li didn't want to show his closed eyes, and Shi Ze saw his helplessness and fragility.The person under him who had just been hugged and kissed by him was pointing at him and questioning him in every possible way.Silent and hard.

The skin-cutting pain surfaced like never before.It turns out that this is how a person feels.

It is far different from the Xu Li who was heard from other people's mouths.

Putting together those bits and pieces of Xu gravel, Shi Ze has been speechless for many years-"The wild child, poor and evil, only one mother in the family is sick and never goes out, he works while studying, but studies hard. He has a strong personality and is not to be trifled with."

Shi Ze also visited Huang Zhen.

Huang Zhen was smoking a cigarette at the time, hanging his eyes, saying that that bitch Xu Li would never believe anyone, that he always kept a knife in his pocket, that he would cut himself if he couldn't cut others, and that he would scare away people and ghosts.Having said that, Huang Zhen lowered his head and thought of something, grinned, unwilling to say anything, mocked Shi Ze triumphantly, and left shaking his ashes.

When there was a discrepancy between the facts and expectations, and the discrepancy was too large, Shi Ze was immediately stunned.

Prejudice is a knife for killing people. When prejudice is shattered in front of your eyes, the bloody knife will stab back in reverse.But it's too unfair, this is just a probability event depending on the fate.

And how lucky Shi Ze was when he heard thousands of words and didn't feel it quietly and directly at the moment.

It turned out that no matter how loudly Xu Li cursed, no matter how harshly he said "I don't love you", they were all bluffing.

While rejoicing, he was heartbroken, feeling that he was not good enough for Xu Li, and he didn't say a few right words after the reunion, and even the confession he gave up a few months ago was so bad that he couldn't describe it in words.

What right does he have to not believe that Xu Li loves him.

Xu Li kept his eyes closed, pinching his hand tightly for a long time before he gradually relaxed. He fell asleep with his mouth slightly open, breathing out from time to time, just from crying.

Shi Ze leaned against the head of the bed, held Xu Li's soft hand, and felt some rough calluses on the palm and the inside of his index finger. He didn't move and thought a lot, and just kept watch all night.

The room on the first floor was damp and poorly ventilated. Xu Li opened his swollen eyes, as if he was dizzy because he cried too much yesterday and the air was not smooth.But his face was clean, someone had wiped it off for him, and there was no other discomfort.

Xu Li pushed back and found that his hands were pinched and covered with sweat. At a glance, Shi Ze looked down with his head down, as if he fell asleep by accident, looking awkward and struggling.

"Shi Ze," like sandpaper stuck in his throat, Xu Li shook his arm without breaking free, "wake up, lie down and sleep."

Shi Ze was stunned by the shout, and opened his eyes instantly, as if waking up from a big dream: "You're awake."

Xu Li straightened his body, frowned slightly, lifted the blanket and got out of bed, opened the door first, then opened the window, turned to look at Shi Ze who was still sitting there, and asked, "Did you sleep last night?" Sit here all night?"

"I," said Shi Ze, "sleep."

When Xu Li came back from washing, Shi Ze was hunching over to adjust the sheets, picked up the blanket and shook it, folded it squarely, and placed it in the center of the bed meticulously.

Turning around and seeing Xu Li, Shi Ze was still in a daze for a long time.

"The new toothbrush next to the sink has been used." Xu Li said.

Shi Ze said awkwardly: "You are all right, it's me, I got up before"

"What time is it?"

This question made him dumbfounded.

Xu Li blinked, his expression had returned to normal, and he walked towards him.

There was only a foot of distance between the closet and the bed, and they were stuck in the middle. Xu Li and Shi Ze were very close, looking at each other, and said nonsense: "Did I not say that, compared to before, Now your appearance is more attractive to men, your muscles are strong, and it is very hard when pressed against your body. If you wear a uniform, you will be queued up and want to be you."

"I don't want to," Shi Ze blurted out, "I just want to be with you."

Xu Li put his hand on Shi Ze's neck and pressed down, raised his head and pressed his annoying mouth tightly, bit it lightly, licked a little water, and asked, "Am I dirty?"

Like Ling Chi, Shi Ze felt very uncomfortable in his heart, and he discarded even the slightest thought of beauty. He moved his eyes away and said, "It's not dirty, it's me. I didn't believe you before."

Xu Li paused for two seconds, the feeling of heavy eyelids still persisted, and what he did was frivolous.

"It seems that I just sat and thought all night, but I didn't gain anything."

He pierced through Shi Ze, stared at the pupils of the other party, the inside was full of gloom and red blood, and he said directly: "Now you believe me? I used to only give you one person^ I didn't believe it when I was fucking, but now I have to deal with so many A and B Bingding competes, how can you believe it?"

While Shi Ze was obedient, he clenched his teeth firmly and took a deep breath before letting go: "Xu Li, I'm serious. I don't care what you said. I will change whatever you are not satisfied with."

"You don't care to stare at people in bars, you don't care to want me to change jobs, you don't care—how dare you say you love me?"

Xu Li smiled lowly, kissed him again, and pressed him step by step: "Change them all? How can it be so easy, Shi Ze, speak carefully."

The more he said, the more mistakes he made, and the more mistakes he made, Shi Ze was stuck in this corner, and he didn't dare to move his beloved in his arms.

He was not sure about Xu Li's attitude, and said honestly: "I used to care about these things, but I didn't care about you. Because everyone else said that, I thought I felt good about myself. Now I don't care about these things, but I care about you," he said. Extremely lonely, Xu Li went to touch the short stubble of his hair, and continued to listen, "I just always feel that I don't seem to have any reason to make you like me, and you are all quite right."

"Really," Xu Li lowered his eyes, stopped for a moment, and said in a low voice, "Then let's try it out, and we can stop it at any time."

Xu Li looked at him again, as if he saw the innocent virgin who lost his temper when he knew nothing about the bed many years ago.

He pursed his lips with a relaxed expression, and his fingers slid along the thin layer of T-shirt, with obvious texture and touch: "Who said you have nothing to like, I like you very much, especially here."

Shi Zexu's arms around Xu Li suddenly tightened, and he was shocked, the burning sensation in his lower abdomen rushed to the top of his head in all directions, and was imprisoned in his stiff body.

This kind of Xu Li made him feel a little strange, but he was crazy and agitated by it.

"Do you want to solve it?"

Shi Ze swallowed hard, and held Xu Li in his arms. His movements were as light as possible, stroking Xu Li's back, neck, hair and cheeks.Shi Ze lowered his head, touched Xu Li's ear with his lips, kissed him cherishingly, and finally rejected the other party's kindness.

He didn't want to tell Xu Li to stop at any time, and naturally he didn't want to repeat the same mistakes. He didn't decide anything, and just went through the roughest and simplest process because of that maddening selfish desire.

He doesn't want to be a fool and a jerk anymore.

Frozen three feet is not a day's cold, Shi Ze would rather suffer a little more, let the knife that was piercing him go deeper.

This time, he wanted to pursue someone in a dignified manner, and talk to Xu Li about a belated first love that would never be let down again.