broken sun

In front of me is a very dilapidated neighborhood, the walls are dirty and mottled, and the ground is full of fruit peels and confetti. After walking two steps, I can see that the awning on the window above the head is still made of many years ago, and the dark green and dusty awning cloth is torn. , was about to float alive, crumbling together with the anti-theft window.

Shi Ze carried two cups of soy milk and a bag of steamed stuffed buns in his hand, and turned to a certain building just like going back to his own home, and squatted on the stone pier at the door of his unit to eat his share of breakfast.

At the end of the meal, he patted his dusty trouser legs, and was about to get up when a gust of wind suddenly hit him, staggering under his feet, and the sand hit his mouth.

"Fuck—" Shi Ze hurriedly took a few mouthfuls, and closed the mouth of the plastic bag in his hand, fearing that the rest of the breakfast would be dirty.

Shi Ze looked down again, hesitating in his heart, could this breakfast be served too poorly?

Xu Li didn't want to see him, let alone be moved by these things.But what else could he do?

——Take the initiative to find him every night, and take over the job of taking Xu Li home. Xu Li ignores him, but he just follows behind, saying that he is like a bodyguard, more like a stalker plotting evil.When he got to the door, Shi Ze didn't dare to go in. Seeing the door was closed, he stood guard outside for a while, and still had to leave when the lights went out.

And thinking that half of the 20-day vacation has passed, he didn't leave last night, squatting in the corner trembling, still thinking despicably, maybe he can get a little sympathy when he wakes up.

If it is said that when Xu Li loved him when he was young, he was a piece of hot iron that burned red to transparent, but he wanted to dive into the cold water, and he seemed to get a response with a "chi" sound, and finally could not escape the fate of being completely extinguished; Xu Li couldn't even cover the heat, and he didn't seem to hate him much. For the first time, he didn't take revenge—for example, he humiliated Shi Ze who chased after him.

Xu Li just didn't care and didn't care, treating Shi Ze like air.

The sound of water came from the bathroom window on the first floor. Shi Ze raised his head, bent down and squatted down in a panic. After a long while, he touched his chest and walked into the unit building pretending to be full of energy.

Xu Li lived on the first floor. He knocked on the door, and he was nervous while spurning his nervousness like waiting for Lin Xing to do something wrong.

"Click."

The old iron door made a trembling sound. Xu Li had just finished washing, and appeared from the gap that was gradually widening. Seeing him, he froze for a moment, and was about to close the door in an instant.

"Wait—" Shi Ze became anxious, and rushed up to grab the door frame. In terms of strength, he has an absolute advantage, "I have no other intentions, just, I just came to bring you some breakfast."

The soy milk that was handed over was stuck in Xu Li's hand, and the paper cup was hot, but the cold air that hit him was heavier. Xu Li looked at him for a while with a confused expression, and said: "It's not enough to follow at night, and now come early in the morning." harassment."

"..."

Shi Ze stood with his stiff neck and said, "I'm sorry."

Xu Li seemed to be annoyed with a smile: "What do you mean? If you came to apologize, I said, I forgot." After a pause, he looked at Shi Ze and said, "You tell me you're sorry, and I forgive you too. gone."

"Let's go."

Shi Ze stared at him intently, and his bite muscles moved slightly.

"No."

Shi Ze squeezed out a voice from his throat, it was very difficult, it was difficult to say it from his mouth, and it was even more difficult to say it from his heart: "I'm not just here to apologize to you."

Xu Li seemed not interested in anything other than "more than just" and asked, "When did you come?"

"......last night."

Both expected and unexpected, Shi Ze himself was put into the room while he was still in the fog, and the iron door behind him still creaked and closed with a "bang".

The one-bedroom, one-living-one-bathroom apartment has poor lighting and is extremely simple. Seeing Xu Li turn back to the room, he put the soybean milk and steamed buns on the small wooden square table. The incompatibility is ridiculous.

"Where did you squat last night?" Xu Li came out with a denim jacket and sat opposite.

"The corner."

"a whole night?"

"..."

Feeling embarrassed, Shi Ze looked away and persistently pushed the shabby breakfast he bought over.

Xu Li has never been a coy person, so he opened the crumpled plastic bag, took a sip of soy milk, looked at the black eyes under his eyes, and said, "I'm going out later, there's nothing to steal here, you Go to sleep and close the door."

Not knowing whether to be happy or what, Xu Li quickly ate the breakfast he bought, opened the door and left without giving him a chance to react, Shi Ze was the only one left in the room.

Shi Ze suspected that his head was a little bit dumbfounded, his heart was up and down, and for the first time he was doing this with a shy face, suffering every second, and now "the dove occupies the magpie's nest" is also disturbed.

He found that he didn't know Xu Li at all. He was unwilling to know Xu Li before, but now the opportunity has been confiscated.

In the summer when Shi Ze decided to repeat his studies, he thought that he could be a classmate with Xu Li again when he was in the "senior year of high school", but he didn't expect that he would never see him again in the next six years.He got up and looked around the house. There were traces of Xu Li that he had searched for for a long time and left him for a long time.

When Xu Li talked about the past, he had long forgotten it.

He also tried.

In order to forget Xu Li and the abnormal but addictive relationship, Shi Ze had a few girlfriends for a short time afterwards, just like playing house, it was boring.Life in the military academy was boring, and the roommates in the same dormitory often got together to watch action movies. He had confirmed countless times that his sexuality was fine.

But every time when the critical moment of self-solution comes, Shi Ze thinks of Xu Li.

He went from admitting that he didn't hate Xu Li at all, to accepting that he was not gay but couldn't forget Xu Li, and finally returned to the original point - he wanted to be with Xu Li.

Shi Ze, who had slept with Xu Li many times, recalled that when they got along, the content was sparse, and most of them were in bed.

Strictly speaking, they are not friends and have never been classmates, so Shi Ze, who is majestic and majestic, will also be afraid-why does Xu Li come back and love him again?Or even Xu Li, who had only had a physical relationship with him before, really loves him?Did he fall in love with him, a straight man with a bad personality?

When Xu Li came back from the courier at noon, he saw Shi Ze sleeping on the sofa with his head tilted in an aggrieved posture. He put down the things in his hands, walked over, pulled out the pillow that was pressed by Shi Ze's legs, and took it from the side. The blanket trembled, and as soon as it was covered, Shi Ze woke up.

"Isn't it cold to sleep on the sofa?" Xu Li let go of his hands and straightened up naturally.

"Not cold, not cold," Shi Ze caught it, hugging the blanket, his right hand was a little stiff, "I'm not cold, I'm not cold at all."

Xu Li sneered and asked, "What happened to your hand?"

"It's okay, I just got a little injury, and I'll be fine soon."

"Then get up and eat."

Sure enough, Xu Li no longer cared, and turned his back to Shi Ze who was unpacking the lunch box.

There are only two boxes on the table, and it looks like a serving for one person.

Shi Ze's heart was empty, he sneered all morning, and said with a wilted voice: "Forget it, I... I'll just go out to eat, you can eat by yourself." He was about to go out in a daze rush.

"I've eaten." Xu Li's words fell into his ears lightly.

Shi Ze stopped suddenly, he couldn't believe it and was flattered, this time he reacted faster, as if he was afraid that the other party would regret it, he quickly sat over with reddened eyes.

"Today's breakfast," Xu Li also sat down and explained while shaking his legs, "It's yours."

Shi Ze let out a "hmm".

Then he will come to deliver breakfast every day from now on.

The sound of the original range hood came from next door, and the air was unbelievably quiet. Shi Ze chewed and swallowed the food in his mouth, took a sneak peek, and met Xu Li's gloomy gaze.

"How did you find the bar?"

"Ah," Shi Ze replied, "...I went to your former home later, that neighbor said." He tentatively asked, "Why did you move out and live in this kind of place? ?”

Xu Li said slowly: "This kind of place? The monthly rent for this kind of place is only [-], and my own house is rented out for [-]. Why do you say?"

"Then you..." Shi Ze's expression was gloomy, and he paused for a long time, "The reason why you didn't go back to school after the suspension was because..."

"Because my mother got sick and died."

He gasped for breath, frowned, and said "sorry" slowly.

Xu Li lightly said: "It has nothing to do with you. She is crazy and feels pain herself, which is a kind of relief. It doesn't have to drag her son down, isn't it good?" Xu Li looked at him and smiled: "Can't accept it? Now I know , I am this kind of person, don't provoke me again, believe it or not I can stab you if I take advantage of others' danger some other day?"

"you--"

Shi Ze yelled, as if he was a little angry, his complex expression changed several times, and finally he whispered: "You come."

It was only four days after Gu Saming left that Qi Nian felt that walking and sitting became completely relaxed.

Before, he would give himself medicine every day and call to report to Gu Saming. He was so pitiful, wronged and angry, so ashamed that he couldn't speak. He could only listen to his brother's gentle and pleasant words over the phone, which made him dizzy. Let him do whatever he wants.

Yesterday, Qi Nian was listening to the phone while taking medicine, and finally his face was flushed, and he hung up with a very backbone. When the other party called immediately, he was super powerful and didn't answer.

The next day, when he was resting on the weekend, Qi Nian had finished his breakfast before picking up his phone, clicking on the software, and replying to Gu Saming's long string of messages.

"have you slept?"

"It's fine if you don't answer the phone, just go to bed early."

"My brother was wrong."

"I just forgot to say that tomorrow may be very busy, but even if I can't get the call, the assistant will tell me that I can call."

"Good night."

Qi Nian bit his lip and looked at it quickly, what, he was just apologizing.

But very useful.

He turned around and dialed the number: "Hello?"

"Hi, hello," Su Chenglin knew who it was, and replied politely and familiarly, "Mr. Gu is in a meeting, and it will end in about 10 minutes. Is there anything urgent?"

"No," Qi Nian said, muttering softly, "It's such an early meeting...has he had breakfast?"

Su Chenglin raised the corners of his mouth and said, "Mr. Gu has eaten it, and he ate it in the hotel restaurant."

"Well, thank you." Qi Nian ended the call.

Qi Nian needs to go out later that day.The day after leaving Xu Li's contact information, Xu Li actually contacted him. Xu Li asked him to have time to come out for dinner, and the two made an appointment for this Saturday at noon.

Qi Nian got off the bus, turned along the sidewalk, walked in according to the route on the map, passed a road with various restaurants and shops, and then came to a slightly messy small vegetable market, the ground was full of small puddles, Dirty water will splash on the trouser legs if you are not careful.

Qi Nian saw Xu Li next to the disused security booth at the entrance of the community, and Shi Ze who stood tall beside Xu Li.

Xu Li waved his hand at him with a smile, walked over, and dragged Qi Nian across the road: "It's a bit embarrassing to ask you to come here, who told you to ask three questions, I still have to take you to eat delicious food of."

Qi Nian had no objection, and followed him, but turned to look at Shi Ze who was following him disheveledly: "He..."

"Don't worry about it," Xu Li said, "but if you're not happy, you can drive him away."

After hearing this, Shi Ze wished he could explain it right away. At the end of his third year of high school, he and Qi Nian had turned their fights into friendships. Where could there be any displeasure, he should be driven away!

Qi Nian looked at Xu Li while walking, and said "Oh", noncommittal.

Shi Ze was still hesitating there, the atmosphere was a little frozen, Xu Li couldn't help chuckling, and just said "Let's go".