love is a light

In mid-July, when the sun was like fire, the final exam came.

After finishing the last exam, Su Yi looked at the empty classroom while packing up, and suddenly realized that the sophomore year was really over.Before the holiday, the teacher reminded everyone to prepare for the review during the holiday. Parents also started to talk about it, and the third year of high school was approaching unexpectedly.

But no matter what, for Su Yi, this summer vacation should be fun.

The family first took a tour of Beijing, not only to the Forbidden City, the Great Wall and other hot and crowded places to steam steamed human meat buns, but also to Peking University, Tsinghua University, Renmin University of China and other famous schools for a tour, euphemistically called "" It is helpful for Su Yi to establish his goal of becoming a student of a prestigious school," but Su Yi checked the score line and felt that he could only be a tourist of a prestigious school at best.

After returning to Kunming, his 17th birthday was coming up. After he invited Lin Lianqiao and Du Lei to attend his birthday party, he thought about it and realized that he hadn't contacted Wang Yanyi for a long time after the holiday.Wang Yanyi has never liked to walk around outside, who knows if he will come?Su Yi nervously tried to invite Wang Yanyi, but unexpectedly he readily agreed.

On his birthday, Su Yi's parents booked a box in a time-honored restaurant. Wang Yan didn't find the right way and came a bit late, but Su Weizhe and He Juan still warmly invited him to sit next to Su Yi. At the dinner table, he kept booing and complimenting Wang Yan, and asked him to take care of Su Yi, which made Wang Yan stutter, and he was at a loss while holding a bowl with red ears.

After Su Yi lowered his head and swallowed a few mouthfuls of food with a suppressed smile, he relieved Wang Yanyi. Wang Yanyi was finally relieved, and hurriedly buried his head in his meal quietly.

When blowing out the candles after eating, Su Yi listened to the birthday song and thought of the wish he made in the Golden Palace on the first day of the Lunar New Year. He closed his eyes, frowned, and read it again in his mind earnestly. Blow out the candle.

After the birthday party was over, Su Weizhe and He Juan asked Su Yi and the others to play by themselves. After a few words of advice, the two of them went for a walk.Then they switched to KTV and sang with great enthusiasm for two hours. Although Wang Yanyi kept following, he was either sitting at the side reading a book or looking at his mobile phone, or watching them sing with a smile.

It was almost nine o'clock after coming out of KTV, Du Lei and Lin Lianqiao's house was in the same direction, Lin Lianqiao's mother also called to urge her to go back, so Su Yi and Wang Yan had to send the two of them to the bus first car.After confirming that Wang Yan's family had no access control, Su Yi happily took Wang Yanyi to eat at a dessert shop near his junior high school.

The two of them walked slowly along the road, under the dim street lamps and plane trees, towards the university town.

"You didn't sing just now." Su Yi sang high in KTV before, and now looking back, he said embarrassedly, "Actually, you don't need to sing if you don't like singing, so don't force yourself."

"No, I don't like to sing, but I like to listen," Wang Yanyi explained while following Su Yi across the road, "Besides, you are the oldest on your birthday."

"But can you still read in such a noisy place?" Su Yi felt incredible.

"It's okay," Wang Yan replied.

"Well, you are really a bit..." Su Yi stopped and tried to think of a suitable adjective.

"Nerdy." Wang Yan helped him out, shrugged slightly self-deprecating, and then he raised the corners of his mouth again, "Write it down, enrich your vocabulary."

"Fuck, don't mention studying on my birthday?" Su Yi rolled his eyes.

They turned a few more turns and walked into an alley, and came to a milk tea shop with the words "Angkor Milk Tea" hanging on it. The door was full of flowers and green plants. Su Yi pushed the door open, and the wind chimes rang at the door .The store is not very big, but it is clean and comfortable. The soft lighting shines on a dozen sets of sofa chairs and wooden tables. A fat, amiable young man is busy behind the counter.When he saw Su Yi, he blinked his small eyes for a while, and then greeted him warmly: "Hey, isn't this Xiao Yi? Why are you free to come over today? You haven't been here for a long time. By the way, are you going?" Where did you go to high school?"

"It's Hongyao High School, Angkor, it's really been a long time." Su Yi responded happily, and took Wang Yanyi to sit down on the sofa chair by the counter, "So today I brought my friends over. "

Angkor came out from the counter, took a duck step, and patted the menu on the table: "Xiao Yi, you still want to order banana splits, right? Then what do you want to order, little classmate? Do you want to have the signature banana split too?" ? The iced matcha in our store is also delicious..."

After looking at the menu for a while, Wang Yan said, "Hot the milk, thank you."

"Eh? Alright." Angkor looked a little disappointed, but he still took the menu and went back to make things.

"Why are you keeping healthy like this?" Su Yi complained about him.

"It's because you don't pay attention to your health. Eating sweets at night is not good for your stomach." Wang Yanyi said slowly.

"Fuck, you really look like my dad who pays attention to health care." Su Yi was speechless.

"Yes, son."

"..." Su Yi kicked over, and the two of them frolicked for a while, and something came up. Su Yi slowly dug the banana boat with a small spoon and ate it, while talking to Wang Yanyi about his various experiences in junior high school. This kind of thing, Wang Yan sips the milk, listens quietly, nodding from time to time.

The wind chime rang, and Su Yi was sitting with his back to the door. He turned his head subconsciously, and a bunch of sweaty boys in basketball uniforms went to the counter to order something. One of them, a tall and thin boy with tin foil on it, was stunned. Su Yi calmed down, stopped in the crowd of noisy people, like a silent stone in the rolling waves, stared blankly at Su Yi, then quickly turned his head and talked to the others again speak up.

Su Yi turned his head quickly, lowered his eyes, and dug into the banana split in a daze, but he didn't eat a single bite, and let the spoon make a "cracking" sound on the glass bowl wall.The boy's voice sounded clearly in his mind, and then slid away quickly. Su Yi didn't remember what he said.

"The bowl will be scratched by you." Wang Yan reassured Su Yi helplessly as he looked at Su Yi who had suddenly calmed down.Su Yi came back to his senses, and shrank back into the sofa chair, trying to hide, then he continued to tell Wang Yanyi the interesting things about the past absent-mindedly.

While listening, Wang Yanyi looked at the handsome boy leaning on the counter from the corner of his eye.Although the boy is looking down at the menu, his eyes will glance over from time to time, and then turn back quickly.After those people’s orders were ready, a bunch of boys went out again, the boy walked slowly at the back, stopped at the door, turned half of his body back, other boys called him outside, He hesitated for a moment, but still walked quickly, leaving behind an empty bell.

"He's gone." Wang Yanyi reminded Su Yi.

Su Yi breathed a sigh of relief, his flustered heartbeat calmed down, his tense back relaxed, and he collapsed on the sofa chair. Wang Yan clasped his hands together, and stared at Su Yi playfully, "Single eyelid, Love sports, dark skin...could that be your ex-boyfriend?"

"Not counting..." Su Yi looked at the ceiling, not knowing how to continue. As soon as Wang Yan realized something was wrong, he quickly suppressed his smile and waited quietly for Su Yi to speak.

Angkor came over with a small cake: "Xiao Yi, this is for you from Xiao Ludian." He smiled unconsciously and said, "You two come to my place almost every day in junior high school, I wonder why you didn't Come with Xiao Lu, hey, think about it like yesterday."

Angkor went back to the counter while remembering, Su Yi looked at the cake and said to himself: "Fuck, he still remembers my birthday..."

Broken memories flashed like a revolving lantern, Su Yi thought for a while, and pushed the cake in front of Wang Yanyi: "Forget it, it's not interesting, you can eat it."

"Eat this at night...and this is a cake someone gave you." Wang Yanyi wanted to refuse.

"I don't want to eat it...you help me eat it, and I'll tell you...what happened between me and that so-and-so." Su Yi begged in a coquettish tone.The night was dark, and the memory illuminated Su Yi like a light, leaving nowhere to hide.The person in front of him will not hurt himself, this thought flashed through Su Yi's mind quickly, his heart was so full of emotions that he was about to explode, he just wanted to confide in Wang Yanyi, and he vomited quickly.

"Okay, okay." Wang Yanyi took the cake with some reluctance, "Let's talk."

In fact, there are some things that Su Yi can't remember clearly. He tried hard to sort out those memories like a mountain of newspaper clippings in the attic, and organized the words to tell them, but he felt the pictures, sounds, smells, and touches on the paper. Everything has become a little strange, the colors are overexposed, and even the emotions that once collapsed are as illusory and free as soap bubbles, like someone else's play.

"This is just another story about a gay falling in love with a straight man." Su Yi bit his spoon and said, "It's still a miserable one."

There are not many ups and downs in the storyline. It is a common story in gay forums and post bars, and it is a silhouette of countless sad stories.That boy was called Lu Yunting, a member of the school basketball team of Su Yi Junior High School, and his academic performance was also good. He had already grown up at that time, tall, handsome and fit, with an unruly and chic manner, and a good personality. He was very popular with girls.

Su Yi changed from commuting to dormitory in the second year of junior high school, and shared a dormitory with Lu Yunting.At that time, Su Yi was still a young bean sprout, and it was the first time he lived in school because of quarreling with his family during the rebellious period. He couldn't adapt to anything, and often cried secretly at night. Lu Yunting probably felt sorry for him, and had been eager to help and guide him.Slowly, Su Yi and Lu Yunting became close friends.

"Our junior high school has very loose management. We often come here to drink milk tea and do homework to kill time when we leave school." Su Yi held his chin and looked at the store. As he talked, he realized that there were still a lot of shining things in the past. Time, slowly strung into a soft and bright pearl chain, his eyes glowed wetly, "I didn't like studying at that time, I kept copying his homework, I would wait for him to play basketball by the basketball court, I will go to He would also wait for me during the vocal music class. I was not in good health at the time, so he carried me to the hospital to see a doctor, and we made an appointment to go to Dali together during the holidays. We used to stay together almost every day, and he liked it very much. At that time, everyone laughed at me for being his little girlfriend or something, but later... I was quite happy to hear that."

"When did you realize you were gay?" Wang Yanyi asked while digging the cake.

"Almost," Su Yi thought of something, and suddenly laughed, "Actually, Lin Lianqiao and I were in the same class in junior high school. At that time, she was already a rotten girl, and she was the most active person among those who made fun of her. I At that time, I had a vague consciousness and was very confused, so I went to talk to her. She enthusiastically recommended a lot of novels and books to me, and encouraged me. As a result, I successfully completed my self-identification. "

"Later, I liked him more and more, and I stuck to him every day. Sometimes I didn't like him talking to other girls, getting jealous and losing his temper." The pearl's luster dimmed, and Su Yi's smile disappeared, like a squeeze He squeezed out the words with difficulty like toothpaste, "Slowly, he probably realized that something was wrong, and there were some gossips in the grade, so he started to keep a distance from me, and the number of times he took the initiative to find me was less and less. Even I pretended not to see me, I was just a kid at the time, acting and hypocritical, trapped by love, pushing him harder and harder, and making trouble with him from time to time."

"Maybe he's finally getting bored. We had a big fight once during the summer vacation. I've forgotten why. When the third year of junior high school started, he found a girlfriend. He didn't tell me at first, but later Lin Lianqiao I can’t stand it and tell me, I was really..." Su Yi stopped, blinked quickly, and recalled, "It feels like the sky is falling apart, the sun and the moon are dark, my stomach is so uncomfortable that I want to vomit When I came out, I didn’t listen to it in class during the day, and I confessed to him in a hurry at night, and in the end, do you know what he said to me?”

As soon as Wang Yan had a bad premonition, he stopped digging the cake and looked at Su Yi uneasily.

The pearl chain is broken, and the big pearls and small pearls are broken into jade plates.

Su Yi swallowed, pursed his mouth tightly, rubbed his teeth several times, and read out gently after a while.

"Disgusting."