Rust II

Lin An withdrew his gaze as if struck by electricity.

What Lin's mother said to Xu Xin again, he couldn't hear clearly at first, only the specious "clarification" that the other party said not long ago remained in his heart, lingering.

It was just a common meal, and after a while, it came to an end amidst Lin's mother's nagging.

Lin An was restless while eating, but Xu Xin acted more casually and naturally.

After a few more minutes, Mother Lin simply tidied up and left the table first. The table without one person suddenly fell into a completely different silence from before.

Xu Xin changed from the lively conversation with Lin's mother before, and just sat blindly. Lin An also lowered his head slightly, looking for an opportunity to say something, but couldn't hold back when the words came to his lips a few times.

Suddenly, Xu Xin's voice sounded beside him.

"It doesn't count."

Lin An couldn't react in time and turned to look at him.Seeing his confused eyes, Xu Xin couldn't help smiling, and winked at the few dishes that were still on the table, and then clarified his words under the puzzled eyes of the other party, "Last Friday night, you personally promised of."

He slightly raised his eyebrows as he spoke, and said teasingly, "Mr. Lin, why are you so busy and forgot?"

Lin An's eyes flickered slightly, he lowered his head in the place where he was staring at him, and denied in a low voice: "No, no..."

Xu Xin laughed lightly, and was about to say something again, but Mother Lin's voice suddenly appeared at the door at this moment.

"Oh Linzi, it's raining suddenly outside. It's so late, and Dongwu Avenue is still under construction. It's not easy to walk. Why don't you let your friend stay at our house tonight and go back tomorrow morning?"'

She was still holding a damp rag in her hand, and water droplets dripped down the corners to the ground.

Lin An was taken aback, then subconsciously looked at Xu Xin.

That extra cautious appearance seemed to be afraid of being rejected, but looking carefully, it seemed more like he was afraid that he would agree.

Xu Xin noticed something, smiled at the other party inexplicably, turned around and readily agreed.

"Then trouble you."

Lin's mother put down the kitchen and immediately turned and went upstairs to Zhang Luoteng's room.

Lin An's eyes were still fixed on Xu Xin until the other party turned around and stared at him with smiles on his eyes without saying a word.

"That's right, it's a timely rain." After a long time, Xu Xin said again.

Lin An's face turned red when he was aroused by the teasing voice, and then he seemed to react, and stood up from the seat.

He avoided the following sight from the other end, and clenched his hands unconsciously, but it didn't help the increasing temperature on his face.

"I, I'll help." After a few seconds, he stammered and said this sentence with a guilty conscience.

In just a few minutes, Mother Lin found a new set of quilts in the cabinet of Lin An's room. She carefully arranged the sheets, quilt covers and other items, and prepared to send them to another room next door where she planned to arrange for Xu Xin to spend the night. The room was empty, and he didn't want to turn around, but ran into Lin An who was walking in with a panicked face.

Seeing him coming up with a suitcase alone, Mother Lin couldn't help but cast a glance behind him and asked, "Where's your friend? Are you downstairs alone?"

Lin An nodded, put the box down, opened it discreetly, and flipped through it in a random way, "I... I'll come up and sort it out first."

After hearing this, Mother Lin frowned, and disapproved of his unreasonable behavior. She complained softly, "Don't worry about it. If you have any important things, Mom can clean them up for you tomorrow. How can you leave the guests alone?" reason..."

Lin An gave an "en" in a state of anxiety, but his eyes suddenly settled on something in the scattered clothes.

Mother Lin was looking at him. Seeing that he was not moving, she couldn't help but follow his line of sight and look into the box.

It's an ashtray.

Mother Lin was surprised, "Your?"

Lin An seemed to have accidentally been peeped into some invisible secret, he snapped the lid of the box, shook his head quickly and said, "No, it's not..." Seeing that Lin's mother was still looking at him, he tried his best to smile and explained indiscriminately Said: "I went to the supermarket a few days ago... it was a gift from an event..."

Mother Lin didn't doubt that there was him, she agreed and didn't ask any more questions, picked up the quilt and went to the next door.

Lin An squatted on the ground, and he breathed a sigh of relief for a long time. He carefully opened the box again, and then quickly took out the ashtray, and locked it in the bookcase behind him.

After doing all this, Fang Jue felt a little loose in his heart.

Mother Lin quickly took care of everything. She kept urging Lin An, who was still stuck in her room, to go downstairs with her. Lin An had ghosts in his heart. He showed too much hesitation, so after tidying up the change of clothes he brought back, he pretended to be calm and followed downstairs.

When the two reached the corner of the first floor, Mother Lin suddenly stopped in front of her as if remembering something.

"By the way, my mother didn't have the nerve to ask you because your friend was there just now. It was given to you on the phone by my mother last month. Did you keep the number of Uncle Huang's daughter in the town next door to us?"

Lin An was taken aback, and searched his memory for a while before he remembered that there was indeed such a thing.It seemed to be mid-September, when Lin's mother suddenly called and told him that there was a girl in her hometown who was satisfied with all aspects of his conditions, and wanted to find a chance for the two children to get to know each other. Making a new friend is also a good thing.Lin's mother quietly asked someone to inquire, and found that the girl's conditions were surprisingly good, except that she was a bit older, only one year younger than Lin An, but what was very rare was that she was well-qualified in terms of work and education. It's okay, I heard that Lin An still studied at the same university, X University, after graduation, he was introduced to work in Beijing, and he was not transferred back to City C until the past two years.

This made Lin's mother very happy, so she quickly left her contact information with the middleman, and arranged for the two children to come back and meet during the National Day.

Lin's mother mentioned this matter to Lin An on the phone, and she also gave him the woman's mobile phone number, but at that time, Lin An's whole mind was on Xu Xin, except for being able to calm down and concentrate at work. , The rest of the time was basically spent in a daze, so he only listened to what Lin's mother explained on the phone, but he didn't pay attention to it at all.

Not to mention the mobile phone number, even the woman's last name, he has long since forgotten it, and has no memory at all.

Seeing his demeanor, Lin's mother immediately knew that the other party must not have listened to her words and tried to communicate with the girl first, and also remembered Lin An's lukewarm attitude towards the interviewee over the years, she couldn't help but sighed and said disappointedly : "You child, alas..." However, the words came to his lips, and he swallowed them back, looking at him quietly with worried eyes.

Looking at his mother's aging and disappointed face, Lin An felt guilty, but he was powerless to justify his abnormal behavior. He could only lower his head and avoid the slightly condemning and disappointed gaze in front of him.

Seeing that he was silent, Mother Lin waited for a while before continuing to say: "This child's mother looks really good, and her family also likes you very much. Last night, I asked Aunt Qin from our village to ask you about the National Day. When will you go home, and how many days will you be back?" He paused, observed Lin An's expression secretly, and asked tentatively: "Mom said you are busy with work, so you may not be able to stay at home for a long time, so I made a four-week plan for you and them." Tonight, Yao'er, let's... just go and see him, okay?"

Lin An knew this moment would come from the moment Mother Lin mentioned this matter.To be honest, he has experienced such moments in the past. Faced with his mother's worries and anxieties, he has been terrified, apprehensive, and even tried to change more than once. However, the past in his heart that cannot be revealed to anyone, But like an insurmountable gap, he lost his sobriety again and again, and suffered unbearably in the loss.

Just like this, forget it, Lin An, let it go, try it, or, forget it, start again... He has persuaded himself like this countless times, and he has tried countless times to numb and erase his past. The big mistakes I made, and the sincerity I failed.But the results are often unsatisfactory. The fact is that he has no way to let go, no way to let go, so naturally he can't forget, and even falls into a nightmare and hell that he can't get rid of forever.

But this time, no matter what, he couldn't nod his head, couldn't open his mouth, pretended to cater to him.Xu Xin's repeated appearance and approach completely smashed his last line of defense between reason and ethics, and became the last straw that crushed his struggling spirit.

Seeing that he didn't answer for a long time, Mother Lin didn't say anything, just looked at him silently.

Under the dim light, this gaze was like a silent punishment, lashing and torturing him.

Lin An didn't dare to raise his head, let alone open his mouth to speak. He just lowered his eyes and looked at the cups, bowls and saucers on the wooden cabinet beside him.

Time passed by, and he never felt that time could be so long.

And Mother Lin obviously made up her mind secretly, and she insisted on asking him to give him an answer. She stared ahead and waited without saying a word.

Xu Shi noticed the unusual situation in this corner, and when the two sides were at a stalemate, the wooden door less than two meters away from them was suddenly pushed open with a creak.

Xu Xin stood at the door with a slightly apologetic smile on his face. He seemed to be ignorant of the conversation that happened inside the door just now, and it was purely an unintentional act that he would open this old wooden door.

"Sorry, I drank a little too much soup just now..." He explained with a smile when Qi Qi looked at him.

Lin's mother was stunned for a moment before she understood, and quickly pushed Lin An, who was still in a daze, "Silly boy, take your friend to the toilet in the back."

Lin An's thoughts were still stuck in the bewilderment and embarrassment tens of seconds ago. He changed his previous state of being unable to stop panicking when he met Xu Xin's eyes. Go to the back room.

Xu Xin didn't say a word about his abnormal state, and only gave him a meaningful glance before entering the bathroom, but Lin An was too lost, and kept staring at the ground absently, without any notice.

All the time since then, Xu Xin has intentionally or unintentionally kept people by his side, causing him a lot of trouble with big and small matters. Mother Lin has no chance to get along with Lin An alone, so naturally it is inconvenient to say anything more.

It wasn't until about ten o'clock in the evening that Lin's mother took care of all the trivial matters and went back to her bedroom on the first floor to go to bed, so that Lin An was slightly relieved from the tense emotions.

He took Xu Xin to the prepared room on the second floor very calmly, then turned around and went to the bathroom to wash up. When he came out again, the hands of the wall clock on the wall were already approaching 10:30.

He stood in the corridor and stared at the cold and gray night outside the window for a moment, then turned around and walked to his room with heavy steps.

The door of Xu Xin's room next door was still open, and the lights inside were still on, as if silently waiting for something.

Lin An approached step by step, and when he came to the door, he still couldn't help but stop and looked inside the door.

The bedroom Xu Xin lives in is just connected to the balcony on the second floor. If he lives in it in summer, he will open both the front and back doors at night, and let the river wind from not far away, no matter how hot the weather is, it can also dispel the wind. A lot of heat makes people feel cool.When Lin An was young, he especially liked to nest in this room. After Lin's mother and Lin's father were asleep, he secretly read some "difficult" essays and novels from the book stalls by the light of the flashlight, such as those rewritten by some anonymous writers. Some gossip and gossip can best arouse his desire to "read at night".At that time, people around him liked to use his smart manners and etiquette as an example for all Murakami children, but they didn't know that he was secretly "frivolous" in private.

Xu Xin was standing on the balcony blowing a breeze, Xu felt something, suddenly turned around in the dim light, and when he saw Lin An standing on the other side of the room, he put out the cigarette in his hand and watched quietly. other side.

After a while, he moved slightly to the side, leaving a space that was not too big or too small, just enough to accommodate another person.

Lin An looked at the tall and straight figure not far ahead, and rarely hesitated too much. After a short pause, he quickly responded to the silent invitation from the other party.

Xu Xin looked at Lin An who was standing next to him after a while, raised the smoke in his hand that was already out of fire, and said in a low voice, "Sorry, I couldn't hold back for a while."

Lin An stared blankly at the hand waving in front of his eyes, and shook his head slightly.

Seeing that he was depressed, Xu Xin waited for a while and then asked softly, "Talk?"

Lin An's expression moved slightly, and after a few seconds, he nodded slightly.

Xu Xin withdrew his gaze from him, turned his head to look at the dark river in front of him and the few sparsely planted trees on the bank, and said, "Your mother has changed a lot."

Lin An didn't respond.

After Xu Xin finished speaking, he smiled, as if he was caught in some memory, and continued: "I still remember the first time I saw her when I was in Guolian No. [-] Factory. Her reaction was almost exactly the same as yours."

Timid, cowardly, not even the courage to look at myself.

The light in Lin An's eyes moved slightly, and the drooping head also slightly lifted up.

"...she...she had a hard time at that time." After a while, Fang murmured back.

So it is natural to be extremely uneasy and frightened towards any strange people and things, even if there is any slight disturbance.

Xu Xin didn't answer, and after a moment of silence, he said again: "It can be seen that she should have felt a lot more comfortable these years, and she is much younger than ten years ago." He suddenly paused and said with a smile : "It seems that you take good care of her."

Lin An shook his head.

After Xu Xin finished speaking, he suddenly fell silent again.

The rain had stopped at some point, and only the colder wind was blowing on the face, hands, and any place exposed outside the clothes.

Lin An silently looked at the rippling and trembling river not far away, and faintly realized that what Xu Xin wanted to say was not limited to what he just said.

Therefore, the continuous silence between the two parties showed its unusual ambiguity and heaviness.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, Xu Xin's deep voice sounded again in the gusts of autumn wind.

He looked at the swaying and swaying tree shadows in the dark night, and asked: "...will you go?" He paused while speaking, and then repeated: "Night on the [-]th."

Lin An moved his hand hanging by his leg, but did not answer.

Xu Xin seemed to be accustomed to this kind of silence. Looking at the dark night in front of him, he sighed softly for a long time: "It's getting late."

Then he looked away and glanced at the side face of the other party who was still downcast.

Lin An finally couldn't help raising his lowered head. Xu Xin met his slightly painful and anxious eyes, paused for a moment, and finally said softly: "Go to bed early."

After speaking, he wanted to turn around and leave.

Lin An's heart trembled because of the sadness and loss that he tried his best to restrain but still couldn't hide. The strings in his mind that were always tense suddenly snapped. The back figure blurted out: "...No." The footsteps almost couldn't restrain themselves from catching up.

Xu Newsyan stopped and turned around slowly.

The light in the room had completely enveloped the figure of the other party. Standing on the dim balcony, Lin An felt his heart beating wildly. He looked at Xu Xin's more and more distinct silhouette under the light, and murmured again in a low voice: "I will not go……"

Xu Xin looked at him motionless, and a gentle smile gradually appeared in his eyes.

Lin An's face became hot from the unusually focused gaze, and he was defeated within two seconds, dodging and lowering his head again.

"Okay." I don't know how long it took before I heard the other party answer.

The night passed in a certain kind of emotion that couldn't be concealed more and more. Even in sleep, people couldn't easily escape from the ecstasy of looking at each other.

Lin An tossed and turned in the bedroom all night, and fell asleep in a trance until early in the morning. When he opened his eyes again, the sky was bright outside the window.

Xu Xin left an hour earlier. Before he left, he specifically told Mother Lin not to disturb him, saying that he had just received a call from home and had to rush back because of something urgent.

"Xiao Lin has been busy with work recently and is under a lot of pressure. It's rare to take a vacation, so let him have a good rest."

Mother Lin relayed what Xu Xin said before leaving to Lin An. Lin An sat at the table, drinking steaming white porridge, staring at a dish of porridge on the table, in a daze.

Sitting next to him, Lin's mother continued to say: "You are a good friend, steady, and good-hearted. You should get along well with him. Don't be too boring. In the future, when they need you, you should help them out more. .”

Seeing that Lin An was silent, he asked again, "Lin Zi, did you hear what Mom said?"

Lin An's thoughts were still stuck on the conversation with Xu Xin last night, and Lin's mother yelled several times before she came back to her senses.

Seeing his distraught appearance, Mother Lin sighed and went back to the kitchen to tidy up briefly, and returned to the table to sit down after a while.She looked at Lin An who was still drinking porridge quietly for a moment, and then asked the question that she couldn't get an answer from last night.

"Mom asked you about last night, do you have any ideas in your mind?"

Lin An was taken aback when he heard the words, and then gently put down the chopsticks in his hand after a long while.

Mother Lin looked at him without blinking, with obvious anxiety and expectation in her eyes.

Lin An didn't dare to look at it. After a long time, Fang secretly clenched his fists on the table, and answered with difficulty: "...En."

Mother Lin looked at him a little nervously.

"I...I don't want to go..."

Disappointment instantly filled Mother Lin's eyes.For some reason, Lin An's refusal this time seemed to be slightly different from the previous ones, but Mother Lin couldn't tell what was the difference at the moment. Then he asked again: "Linzi, do you...do you have something...can you tell mom why?"

Lin An was silent.

"This girl is really nice. Mom won't make you lie to you, nor is she trying to force you to have something to do with her, just, just meet her, and let Mom feel at ease, okay?"

Lin An remained silent, but his hands resting on the table became tighter and tighter.

There was almost a hint of pleading in Lin's mother's words, which made people unbearable to listen to. Lin An knew that although his mother had a weak personality, when faced with difficulties, she mostly responded with silence and patience, and rarely begged for anything. The few times she bowed her head in her life were all for herself.

"Oh, by the way, Mom has seen a photo of that kid. He looks so handsome. I kept one upstairs. Mom took it down for you to see?" Then he stood up.

"Mom!" Lin An, who didn't want to say anything all this time, stopped her at this moment, "I, I have someone I like."

Mother Lin seemed a little unbelievable, and turned to look at him.

Lin An forced a smile, raised his head, and met his mother's gaze.

"Yes, what is it like? Is your personality good? What kind of job do you do? Are you also a teacher?"

Mother Lin was only stunned for a few seconds, and when she came to her senses, she immediately sat down again and asked Lin An in surprise and joy.

Facing his overjoyed mother, Lin An felt even more ashamed. He faltered and faltered for a while, and at the end there was only one truth that was so affectionate that he didn't need to use any lies to cover it up: "He...he treats me very well. good."

Mother Lin's eyes were crooked with a smile. Lin An's words were undoubtedly a reassurance, which greatly comforted her day and night worries. She said happily: "It's good for you. Mom has no other requirements, as long as you are a good person." , it’s good to be reliable.”

Lin An could only nod.

Mother Lin laughed for a while, then suddenly asked: "Have you told Miss Ren yet?"

Lin Anshang was in a state of unspeakable guilt. When he first heard his mother's question, he couldn't help but froze, "...what?"

Seeing his dull and dull appearance, Lin's mother couldn't help laughing angrily: "Mom asked if you have expressed your heart to others!"

Lin An was taken aback for another moment, and the last night when Xu Xin looked at him almost immediately appeared in his mind.He blushed, but fearing that Lin's mother would see the clue, he quickly lowered his head and denied, "Not yet, not yet."

Mother Lin frowned slightly, and wanted to say something again, but was interrupted by the other party's next words.

"Mom... what happened on the night of the [-]th..." Lin An was flustered and confused at the moment, and he really didn't have the energy to deal with Lin's mother, so he had no choice but to pretend to be calm and change the topic.

Mother Lin gave him a reproachful look, and sighed, "Mom will push it for you, this child, if you have a sweetheart, don't tell me sooner. Look, how many times have I troubled Aunt Qin to go back and forth."

Lin An hesitated, not daring to say more to the other party, so she quickly found an excuse for work and hurried upstairs.

Lin's mother's loose mouth made the boulder in Lin An's heart finally loosen a little, but the result did not make people feel relaxed and comfortable at all.He knew that although this impulsive step he took could temporarily solve the difficult situation in front of him, the real tribulation and test it brought was still far behind.

Sure enough, every day after that, Mother Lin's thoughts and topics inevitably revolved around her "sweetheart". Lin An was frightened to deal with it, fearing that if she made a wrong step, her clumsy lie would be ruthlessly exposed.Fortunately, he has been reserved and shy since he was a child, so Lin's mother didn't find it strange at all, she just said that he was embarrassed when it came to the girl he liked.

This torment lasted for three full days and nights, and was not relieved until the morning of the [-]th when Chen Jianliang made a sudden phone call.

At that time, Lin An was still drinking the hot porridge served by Lin Mu at the table. Lin Mu was sitting opposite him, and was about to insinuate about "that girl" again. While parrying, the phone in his pocket suddenly vibrated, followed by Chen Jianliang's apologetic voice.

"Mr. Lin, I'm really sorry to bother you even during the holidays. Is that so? Isn't the training class for the Seedling Cup competition scheduled for tomorrow? But something happened to Mr. Jiang's house who was in charge of the guidance. Her mother fell down when she went downstairs last night. I fell and was seriously injured, and was sent to the hospital overnight..."

Lin An knew what Chen Jianliang meant when he heard this, he smiled softly, and said proactively: "It's okay, then I'll go to school tomorrow to replace it."

Chen Jianliang thanked again, apologized again and said, "Oh, well, thank you so much, Mr. Lin, I'm sorry that you took the time to go home and was called back by me...It happened so suddenly, I couldn't find a suitable person here for a while, and I made several phone calls, and everyone had other arrangements, so..."

In fact, what Chen Jianliang said was a little sorry for his "conscience". It was true that Jiang Yuefang was unable to teach at school because of something, but she made several phone calls "to find no one", so she had to ask Lin An for help, but it may not be true.

But Lin An didn't think too much about it. Jiang Yuefang got along well with him on weekdays, and he was also a colleague. It didn't matter if he went to save the scene, but he just returned to City C one day earlier.What's more, in my current situation, the pressure to stay at home is not much less than that of working in advance.

So after hanging up the phone, Lin An and Mother Lin briefly talked about the situation at the school. Mother Lin knew that he was always serious about his work, so she didn't say much, just explained a few more words, and then helped to clean up After unpacking his luggage, he was sent out.

When the bus headed to the passenger station, Lin An looked at his mother's wrinkled face and said softly, "Mom... I'm sorry."

Lin's mother didn't understand what he meant, she only thought that he felt guilty because he couldn't stay at home with her for a few more days, so she couldn't help laughing and said: "What's the matter, silly boy." After a pause, she said: "You, Get married earlier and don't just focus on school and work all the time, so Mom can rest assured."

The car left County X with Lin's mother full of ardent hope. Lin An got off at the terminal station, took the box and went to the ticket office temporarily to buy a bus ticket to City C.It was not yet the time for the national day to return, so the number of people in the station was far less than expected. He took a ticket for the departure near noon, picked a seat at random near the ticket gate and sat down.

While waiting, he habitually took out the phone from his coat pocket.

Lin Jingjing stared at a certain name in the call log, and unconsciously stroked the screen a few times with her fingertips.

The latest departure information was constantly playing on the radio, and amidst people coming and going, the name that was about to fade suddenly shook in the half-held palm, and it became extremely bright again in front of his eyes—Lin An didn't even have time to feel happy , or surprised, the hand clicked the sudden text message one step ahead of the brain.

From Xu Xin: What time does the bus arrive?