metaphorical

The weekend arrived so unhurriedly, Lu Yuyan got up in the morning and read the information first, Zhong Ming didn't make any disgusting requests, only said that the plan could be further developed.In the past few years abroad, he seemed to have learned to read people's faces, so he didn't push Lu Yuyan too hard.

Because the weekend itinerary was agreed upon, the two simply ate breakfast and were ready to go out.

Lu Yuyan said that he wanted to take Mr. Qin somewhere, so he was the one who drove.

Qin Zhi sat in the co-pilot, humming a little tune in a relaxed mood, while Lu Yuyan held the steering wheel and began to speak in his head.

The car passed through the city center and headed towards the old city. There were buildings over 30 years old, and Qin Zhi seldom went there.

The car stopped at the gate of a middle school, and Lu Yuyan stared at the school sign with big gold lacquer characters, and stared at it for a while.

This is a junior high school, there are no make-up classes on weekends, and the students are not there, so it looks empty and very quiet.

Lu Yuyan sighed and turned to look at Qin Zhi.

"This is my alma mater. I studied here for three years."

Qin Zhi actually looked at the school for a long time, but he didn't find anything special.

Lu Yuyan pulled him out of the car, because the school was closed on weekends, so he had to register as a visitor to go in, Lu Yuyan hesitated for a while, but still didn't go in.

Mr. Qin turned his head to look at him, he declined the guard's suggestion, and dragged him for a walk slowly along the school fence, with a somewhat resistant expression on his face.

Sensing Qin Zhi's gaze, Lu Yuyan explained in a low voice: "I... am a little afraid to go in."

Qin Zhi rarely sees the emotion of "fear" in him, so he is more sure that this must have a lot to do with his past.

"Before I was 15 years old, I was as straightforward as you were when I was a child, and even a little bit mean."

Lu Yuyan spoke carefully: "At that time, all the classmates knew that they couldn't quarrel with me, because I had to be reasonable and unforgiving. Although what I said was true, it didn't sound good."

"I don't have many friends. Few people are so nervous that they want to be friends with me, because the way I express my intimacy is outspoken."

"I only had one friend for three years in junior high school. I really regarded him as a good friend, but my classmates thought I only took him as a small follower. Because he was weak and introverted, and his heart was very sensitive, it was easy The type of being bullied. I can't bear to speak for him a few times, and he sticks to me."

Qin Zhi took Lu Yuyan's hand and walked slowly along the fence, listening to him seriously.

"He was really good to me. He was careful, he didn't like to talk but looked at me silently and cared about me. At that time, my parents were busy taking care of my younger brother who had just entered primary school, and my classmates didn't dare to joke with me. Only He was with me all the time. Although he kept saying that I was helping him, in fact, at that time, he was the only warmth he gave me."

Lu Yuyan paused, and his tone was obscure: "It's just that I didn't expect that such warmth would become such a heavy shackle."

The two happened to walk around the back door of the school, and Lu Yuyan pointed to a teaching building to the west: "That's the building, I'll never forget it for the rest of my life."

Qin Zhi held his hand tightly because he felt him trembling slightly.

"I remember it was the end of May, and there was one month before the senior high school entrance examination. It was hot and hot at the beginning of summer. We met on the roof after school, and we broke up. I left first, and I just arrived downstairs. ,he just……"

Lu Yuyan hugged his arms involuntarily, and his trembling had spread to his body.

"He fell right in front of me, not far away, only about ten meters away, from the rooftop."

Qin Zhi's eyes widened, and he subconsciously pulled Lu Yuyan into his arms to calm him down.The only friend jumped off the building in front of his eyes. How could a junior high school student bear such a shock?No wonder he has refused to bring up this part of the past.

Lu Yuyan took a deep breath and forced himself to continue: "I was scared to death at the time. There were many teachers and classmates around me, and the police arrived soon. The result of the police investigation was that he did commit suicide, but he saw him before committing suicide. The last one is me."

Lu Yuyan smiled wryly, and the scene at that time seemed to flash before his eyes.

"The whole class knows that I have a bad mouth and I can't speak well. So gradually there are rumors that we were on the rooftop that day, he confessed to me, but I scolded him. The rumors came alive, saying that I cursed him Disgusting, perverted. He was a very sensitive and paranoid person, and he couldn't stand the stimulation for a while, so he chose to commit suicide."

"Do you remember how many years ago same-sex marriage was legalized? It was ten years ago. And 12 years ago gay love was not generally accepted in the mainstream. He did confess to me that day, and I did turn him down. Not because of fear Known by others, but... I really didn't fall in love with him."

"I didn't scold him, I didn't even say harsh words to blame him, I just told him I didn't love him and couldn't be with him. I explained it to everyone and no one believed it."

Lu Yuyan's smile was sad, and Qin Zhi hugged him distressedly.

"Everyone thinks that I hurt people with bad words, which provoked him to jump off the building. His parents chased me and beat me, and his teachers and classmates looked at me strangely. My parents, who trusted me, pressed me to apologize and repent over and over again. But I... just rejected a confession. They never taught me that the world is dangerous, they never taught me to be cautious in words and deeds, and something big happened. But first began to question my fault..."

Qin Zhi can fully imagine how sad Lu Yuyan must be when he is so isolated and helpless.Even his closest family members don't trust him, how hard and desperate it must be for such a helpless 15-year-old boy.

"Do you know? Since I was a child, I have been told by many people that I am smart, have a sharp tongue, and have a sharp tongue, but during that time, I can only hear them say that I am... vicious. This word is too heavy, I have memorized it for 12 years."

Lu Yuyan leaned against Mr. Qin's arms and slowly clenched his skirt.

Qin Zhi didn't move, but silently comforted and patted his shoulder, and then felt the shoulder was hot and humid, and the cold wind blew past it and it became extremely cold again.

He finally understood what Lu Yuyan was trying to avoid. After witnessing his friend's death like that, he couldn't face himself until now.Being misunderstood and abandoned by the whole world like that made him no longer depend on anyone.His childhood flamboyance and brilliance were completely wiped out by those heavy shackles.

No wonder he became silent, no wonder he always looked at the world calmly and soberly, no wonder he frequently had nightmares of being alone.He has been imprisoned by the malice of this world for 12 years, how dare he touch the scorching warmth easily.

"I deserve this life, because I clearly sensed that his state was not right at the time. I clearly knew that he was too sensitive and vulnerable to be stimulated. His last confession said that he was desperate! But I didn't hold him... "

Qin Zhi patted him on the back, and suddenly thought of his panic when he heard the report that the old man jumped off a building a few months ago.At that time, his self-blame and guilt almost overwhelmed him. Looking back now, it was probably because the two incidents were too similar, which made him collapse.

"I can obviously stop him."

At that time, Lu Yuyan gritted his teeth and said such a sentence, but he should actually be talking about his friend.

Qin Zhi didn't let go of him, because Lu Yuyan never shed tears in front of him, so his tears were hidden in Qin Zhi's arms, and he was still strong and brave.

"this is not your fault."

After a few months, Mr. Qin once again used these six words to comfort his little fish.

"You don't like him, you politely rejected him, you didn't scold him, let alone insult him, you have done everything you should do. If people all over the world are standing on the top of the building to confess to you, if you don't agree, just jump Go on, do you want to be with everyone in the world?"

Qin Zhi's steady voice was gentle and calm.

"When he jumped down, he never thought about what you would face. He jumped out of the pain, but imprisoned you in pain for 12 years. Does he really love you?"

"He understands your character, and he also knows that you are not popular. He should be very clear about the harm he will bring you with his life, but he still did that. He is no longer in pain, but what about you?"

Qin Zhi touched the top of Lu Yuyan's hair, and looked down into his eyes: "You are his friend, and you don't want to damage his reputation, but I am not. He made you suffer for 12 years, I just He will speculate on him with the greatest malice. Why did he die in front of you? It takes at least 5 minutes for you to go downstairs and go out, and he doesn’t jump for these 5 minutes, but when you left the teaching building, he jumped. I even doubt that he It is to use your life to brand a bloody imprint on your heart, so that in your future life, every time you think of him, you will feel overwhelmed with pain."

Qin Zhi stared into Lu Yuyan's shocked eyes: "It turns out that he did it."

Lu Yuyan's pupils trembled slightly, and he murmured, "No...he won't..."

Qin Zhi couldn't bear to let him suffer another blow, and said softly: "Maybe I'm too dark, he's not that bad. But his behavior without considering the consequences really caused irreversible harm to you. I don't like you Hurt yourself for such a selfish person, don't blame yourself in the future, okay? It's not your fault."

It was rare for Lu Yuyan to see Qin Zhi loathe someone so unabashedly, and... What he said just now, although shocking, was very effective.At this moment, Lu Yuyan thought of the bloody scene 12 years ago, and the regret and guilt in his mind faded a lot.

He was precocious when he was young, and he has always been calm and sober.Qin Zhi is a bystander, so he can quickly point out what was wrong back then.He doesn't want to doubt or speculate that his true friend is such a scheming and decisive person, but a calm mind is stronger than a bloody heart.

Lu Yuyan refused to continue thinking, because he was keenly aware of the danger.Because he was very afraid that the clues that he remembered carefully would destroy the only warmth he had in the three years of junior high school.

Mr. Qin shook his hand and naturally changed the topic.

Lu Yuyan confessed his biggest knot and let go of the big stone in his heart.Qin Zhi's performance did not disappoint him, even moved him.

He didn't know if he had been traveling alone for more than twenty years just to meet such a good Qin Zhi, and he even rejoiced more than once that he temporarily helped his colleagues to interview that small unofficial retro 8-minute date.

Sitting in the venue, among hundreds of people, he met the best Qin Zhi in the first 8 minutes.

It was simply fate.