I heard that if I don't pretend to be poor, I will die

I was born in a winter with goose feathers and heavy snow.

It is said that it was the first snowfall that day, and there was a severe drought that year. This winter snow undoubtedly ignited everyone's hope.

My superstitious grandma said that I might be a gift from God, and named me Yang Qi.

Pray for Tianlin, pray for a safe future.

I don't have a deep impression of my parents, because I have been living with my grandparents since I was a child.

Parents seldom come back. They often go out to work, and they didn’t come home with big bags until a few years ago, with smiles on their faces, like a reunited and happy family.

But I know that I am not satisfied with this. I hope that I can be like other children, and be able to be held by my parents all day long and go shopping in the city.

Every time they come back, I ask a question when they left and when they came back.

The answers my parents gave were always so vague, they just said something like this, when the moon above them became round, and when the firecrackers sounded at the door, they would definitely come back.

I believed it was true, staring at the moon above my head every night, watching it gradually change from a curved sickle to a round pancake, and then happily ran to the door, looking forward to my parents coming back tomorrow morning.

But the moon has changed several times, countless times, and they still haven't come back.

I asked my grandma if the round moon that my parents said was particularly round.

Grandma smiled and said, "Silly boy, the moon must not only be round, but also bright enough to see the fairy Chang'e in the moon."

I understood, so I rubbed my eyes and looked at the moon every day, thinking that when I saw Chang'e in the moon, my parents would come back.

This year, I waited very anxiously, because this day finally came.

During the Mid-Autumn Festival, the whole family ate moon cakes, and I saw that the moon above my head was very round and bright.

Although she didn't see the fairy in the Moon Palace, grandma said she did, and she also said that she saw the jade rabbit under the laurel tree and the man with the axe chopping down the tree.

@无限好文, all in Jinjiang Literature City

I didn't see anything, but I'm sure grandma never lied.

I hoped and hoped, and finally looked forward to my parents' return home in the middle of the night.

This time, they didn't come back with big bags and small bags, and they didn't bring smiling faces, they were all tired.

I knew that they must have been tired from rushing home, so it was the first time they didn't pester their mother for sweets.

But I am still very happy, at least my parents are back, and our family is reunited.

Sure enough, grandma's eyes are really good.

But when I was mending the insole, I still couldn't get the needle in. How could I suddenly see the fairy in the moon?

I'm baffled.

I snuggled into my mother's arms and happily told her the fun things I saw recently, the fun things, and the fun friends I knew.

My mother looked at me with a smile, very gentle, but with tired eyes, she seemed a little absent-minded.

Then, my father touched my little head and said to let me go back to the room first. My mother is a little tired from the journey today, so she will take me to play tomorrow.

I nodded happily and bounced back to my room.

After closing the door, I looked at the moon outside the window again, it was very round and bright, and there were no fairies.

At this time, the voices of parents talking came from outside, the pitch was still a bit high, accompanied by the sighs of grandparents one after another.

I frowned at the unusual sound.

Are mom and dad arguing with grandparents?

I was a little surprised, and I leaned on the door to eavesdrop.

In fact, I didn't understand what they were saying, but I felt that my father's tone was different from before, and my mother seemed to be crying, and the atmosphere was a bit depressing.

Their voices rang out in the middle of the night, and I couldn't bear it anymore, so I fell asleep on the bed.

When I woke up, I found that I was covered with a thick quilt, and there was still a faint fragrance in the corner of the quilt, which was the fragrance of the hand cream on my mother's hand.

She likes to use a magnolia-scented hand cream, which smells so good, I know it's her.

But after waking up, I found that the house was very quiet and not as lively as before.

Every time, after parents come home, the house must be very lively.Children from neighbors would also come over to eat and drink. Knowing that my parents made money in big cities and brought back a lot of delicious and fun things, they would come and have a look. @无限好文, all in Jinjiang Literature City

But not today.

I was very puzzled, so I ran out to find my grandfather, who was sitting at the door, smoking a cigarette, without speaking.

"Grandpa, grandpa, where are mom and dad?" I asked.

Grandpa sighed and said, "Let's go."

"Gone? Where did you go?" I was surprised.

Every time my parents go home, they will definitely stay for three to five days, and it is impossible to leave in such a hurry.

Grandpa continued to sigh and said, "Qi'er, you will never see your parents again."

I frowned and looked up at him: "Why?"

There was a trace of sadness on Grandpa's wrinkled face, and I saw ripples in his eyes. When he smoked, the smoke drifted away, choking me and coughing.

Grandpa didn't answer my words, and I couldn't find the answer, so I went to the kitchen to find grandma.

Grandma wore an apron and started to get busy early in the morning.

In a small town like ours, we still have to eat when we get up early at home, especially for people like grandma who are used to getting up early and getting late at night, so they are busy making breakfast early in the morning.

She was busy in the kitchen, so I called "Grandma".

Grandma looked back at me and said with a smile: "Go wash your face and brush your teeth, and get ready to eat."

I pouted and refused to go, and asked grandma: "Grandma, where are mom and dad?"

After hearing this, grandma sighed like grandpa, and said, "Don't look for your parents, they won't come back."

"Why?" I asked again.

Grandma refused to say anything, and only urged me to wash up quickly.

From that day on, I really never saw my parents again, nor did I wait for them to come back.

The moon in the sky is round and full and the sickle is reincarnated. I have never seen the fairies in the moon palace, but I have seen satellite pictures of the moon on TV, as well as aerial pictures of the astronauts who landed on the moon.

At this time, I realized that there are no fairies in the moon, and the moon is not round, but pitted.

When I grow up a bit, I also know that those who set off firecrackers at the door, besides happy events, also have losses.

The daughter of the family next door, who just turned 15, fell into the river and drowned a few days ago.The white-haired man sent the black-haired man away, crying miserably.

Grandpa Liu, who had been our neighbor for more than ten years, finally passed away at the age of eighty. He closed his eyes in a quiet night and never woke up again.His children were crying and their eyes were swollen for several days.

And I, I have also grown up, and finally grew from a brat to a handsome young man.

However, my grandparents did not grow up with me.

Since my parents left, their bodies have deteriorated day by day, and the hair on the top of their heads has become more and more white.

I know that this is a symbol of human aging, and it is also a road that people must pass through, which cannot be stopped.

But I have never figured out a question, where did my parents go?

@无限好文, all in Jinjiang Literature City

My grandparents kept silent about this matter, and only said to the outside world that my parents went to work in a distant place, and they had already bought a house outside. When the conditions improved a bit, they would take me over.

The neighbors in the neighborhood believed their story, only I knew it was their nonsense.

My parents haven't seen each other for many years, and I'm about to become an abandoned child.

But there is always some hope in life. Even though I know they will never come back, I still have a little thought in my heart, thinking that maybe they are really like what my grandparents said, but because of busy work. can't come back.

The more you tell a lie, the easier it will be to be taken as the truth.

After so many years, I still think that my parents are waiting for me to grow up and live in a big city.

In fact, I am very yearning for life in a big city, which has things that my small town does not have, such as high-tech products, high-rise buildings, elevator shopping malls, and girls in high heels.

In a small town like ours, there are no more than ten women who can wear high heels.

Everyone is a simple farmer, a pair of old Beijing cloth shoes is already the most luxurious clothing, not to mention fashionable high heels and fur coats.

But one day, I really saw a woman in a mink coat and red high-heeled shoes.

She came to my house, said hello to me, and told me with a smile that she was my mother's friend.

I stared at her, and felt that she was really good-looking, very noble, and she must have lived a good life.

Since she is a friend of my parents, do my parents live a happy life like her?

I asked her, where are my parents?

She froze for a moment, then shifted her gaze to her grandparents.

At this moment, grandpa and grandma seem to have aged a bit.

They were silent, and so the woman was silent.

Finally, in silence, she told me: "Your parents are gone."

Throwing this sentence, I felt a heavy blow to my chest, as if a sledgehammer fell, and my chest was very tight.

In fact, it's not that he was mentally prepared, but he didn't expect the blow to come so quickly.The reality is crueler than I imagined, and I am not willing to let go of this young boy.

"How did they die?" I asked my biggest question in years, and I hope this time it will be answered.

"He died of illness." Grandpa sighed.

He answered my questions for the woman.

For so many years, he never mentioned anything about his parents to me at all, and he never said anything about them.Whenever I have doubts in my eyes, they always talk about him, very obvious.

I know their attitude. Although there is a certain feeling in their hearts, they still prefer to deceive themselves and others.

Now that the truth is out, I don't see the need to curl up in a corner anymore.

I learned from my grandfather that my parents were already seriously ill when I was very young.

Over the years, they have worked hard outside, can't eat well, can't sleep well, and are busy working all day long. Needless to say, they are hard-working and stressful.Although the two work in the same factory, the work they do is similar in weight, and the difference between men and women is not very big.

Under such a high load of work, my parents were finally tired.

First, the mother fainted and was taken to the hospital, where breast cancer was accidentally detected.Later, my father also couldn't eat because of overwork, and he felt unbearable body pain every day, so he knew that he was in the late stage of stomach cancer.

Two terminal illnesses fell from the sky, directly crushing their last line of psychological defense.

Parents know that grandparents have nowhere to depend on and can only rely on government subsidies to survive, so they work harder.

All the money they had saved over the years was handed over to my grandparents on that day, and entrusted me to the elders, saying that they hoped to raise me up.

That night, I slept very soundly, but my parents shed tears all night and stayed up all night.

They left early the next morning, and if they didn't leave, they would miss the earliest train back to the city.

I was a fool then, not knowing that this time was a farewell.

Of course, now I still don’t feel the grief of farewell, I just feel that my chest is heavy, it seems that it has been heavy for a long time, and I almost forgot the time.

I accepted the outcome with equanimity, knowing that the light in my heart had been extinguished, and there would be no future hope.

However, life still has to go on.

The purpose of this beautiful woman is to take me into the city.

She is my mother's good sister. Back then, my mother insisted on marrying my father despite the family's opposition, and lived a hard life all her life.

And she, relying on her own luck, married a good husband, and now has both family and business, and lives happily.

A person's life is so dramatic. It is obvious that two similar people have taken different paths, and the results are also different, even very different.

In fact, I also thought about whether my mother regretted getting married back then, regretted being obsessed with love, and gave up the embarrassing life in front of me.

But after thinking about it, there is no regret medicine in life. Every step is my own decision, and the result is my own choice.

I followed the pretty woman into town and saw everything I wanted to see.

Big-screen TVs, floors covered with marble tiles, blinding chandeliers, fashionable clothes, deafening radio music, and a busy night.

I just wondered, if my parents were really here, would our family be able to fly kites hand in hand like they did in the square.

Time flies so fast, I have forgotten what my parents looked like, and what they used to like and what they did.

I only remember that the magnolia fragrance in my mother's hand was extremely charming.

I seem to have smelled it for years.

When I grew up and even beautiful women became middle-aged aunts, I realized that there is only one person walking this road.

No one can accompany you to old age, so no matter how difficult the road is, you have to support yourself to move forward.

It's like it's raining suddenly in the sky, and you don't have an umbrella, and you don't have the money to buy one, so don't expect someone to give you an umbrella.

But I was wrong, because an umbrella really appeared above my head, it was still a blue umbrella.

I turned my head and saw a handsome man, about my age, staring over my shoulder.

There was rain on my shoulders, and he moved the umbrella a little to the side, and the rain stopped dripping.

"You are..." I was a little puzzled.

"You don't remember me?" The other party smiled gently and said, "We seem to be in the same class."

I thought about it, not my elementary school classmates, not my high school classmates, not my college classmates... It seems that I am not very impressed.

Seeing my puzzled expression, he finally confessed to me: "My name is He Ziming."

"Oh, oh, He Ziming! I remembered." I really remembered.

It seems that He Ziming is still the school grass of our school, the all-round male god in the mouth of the girls.Versatile, good at singing and dancing, and has a particularly good temper.

I remember that he was indeed in our class.

But I didn't have much contact with him, because I basically didn't interact with the classmates in the class, let alone remember other people's names.Even my roommate's name, I only know how to pronounce it, and I don't even know how to write it.

I faded out of people's sight, because I just want to finish this university quietly, follow the instructions of the beautiful woman, get a diploma, and then become a member of this city.

In the future, what awaits me may be endless overtime and suffering in my career.

These will be realized in the near future, and I am also fortunate to work in the same company as He Ziming.

In fact, since that time when he helped me hold the umbrella, He Ziming approached me intentionally or unintentionally, and his attitude seemed to be that he wanted to make friends with me.

But I'm not interested in friends. I'm not very good at making friends, let alone dealing with people.The appearance of laughing and joking every day is just a better way to disguise my heart.

In fact, most of the time, I would rather be alone.

A person can avoid a lot of trouble, and can also reduce a lot of unnecessary intersections, making things simpler.

I deliberately avoided contact with him, but it didn't take long for him to become my direct supervisor, and he was highly valued by the boss.

Now, I have to face him.

He Ziming said, "Going to have a drink or two after get off work?"

Office workers who are suffering every day will always buy a few bottles of wine to drink after get off work to relieve all kinds of worries in their hearts.

This is the characteristic of our company. There is a strong drinking culture. Both men and women are alcoholics.

I can't refuse.

When you drink, you drink the bar, and I'm actually pretty good at it.

When I was young, I secretly drank a lot of Erguotou from other people's houses with my grandfather, and I had to sit at the flowing water banquet during the New Year and holidays. I must know how to drink wine.

But I got drunk very easily today, and I was so drunk.

His usual drinking capacity suddenly emptied out somehow, and after a few drinks, he became so drunk that he couldn't even see people clearly.

It was also raining that day, and I heard the sound of the rain outside being so loud that it was deafening.

I was standing in such a heavy rain, as if the world was noisy and only I was quiet.

There are so many people coming and going around, no one looks at me, I seem to be a transparent person, wandering, wandering, finally standing on my feet.

I cried very loudly, not only for my poor parents, but also for my kind grandparents.

They passed away not long ago, and I didn't have time to lay eyes on them.By the time I heard the news, they had already buried themselves in the ground, and they were all well.

The world is separated from the world, and I can't cross the wall this time, as if life and death are also a common thing.

But it actually snowed that day. It was supposed to be a heavy rain, but before I knew it, beans began to fall, beep beep bobo, and fell on my head.Then came the snowflakes, which fell on my eyebrows, on the bridge of my nose, and on my shoulders.

I don't know how long I stood there, my nose was red from the cold, and every mouthful of cold air I sucked in made my heart feel cold.

I want to stand here, become a snowman, and have a snowball fight with my parents like I did when I was a child.

They call me by my nickname - Daxue.

My grandparents are not well-educated. They only know that when I was born, it snowed, or it was an extraordinarily heavy snow, so they named me Daxue.

Later, my parents said, this is the name of my daughter's family, how can it be used on me.So the name was changed to Yang Qi, which was quite easy to pronounce.

It's snowing, it's snowing, it's snowing.

No one has called me by this name for many years, even my grandparents don’t remember, I only know that my name is Yang Qi, and I don’t know that I am still their Daxue.

I am standing here, there are many people in the city center, everyone is holding an umbrella, and no one is looking at me.

I suddenly felt quite free, at least for this moment very free.

The snow days in the city are always very deserted. Everyone is not in the mood to look at the snow. They just want to go home. The weather is too cold. Check the weather forecast and see if you need to add more clothes tomorrow.

Everyone seems to have a kind of rejection of snow. Even if they found deep and shallow footprints on the ground, they didn't think of stopping to watch, or

Perhaps they have put away their concentricity, thinking about how their noble and reserved adult status can reveal their innocent and fragile soul like a child.

They just stood in the air-conditioned room, staring at the snow falling outside the window, lamenting how beautiful snow is, lamenting the greatness of the Creator, and lamenting that this is the standard winter.

Some people also took out their cameras and took pictures of the moment when they were lying on the ground intimately with the snow, posted them on the Internet, and said with a smile that they had finally done something bold in winter.

I think they are ridiculous, at least in my opinion, they are not as innocent as children.

This is no longer the snow of the past.

My hands and feet were cold, and I didn't know why I rushed out of the warm tavern and stood there in a daze in the ice and snow.

I could be a fool, I could be a lunatic, I could be more like a lost mind.

I just stared blankly at the front, my eyes were not focused, and I didn't know where to look. Anyway, I knew it was cold and my hands were stiff.

If I continue to stand here, I may really want to become a snowman for people to watch.

But I found that the snow on my body no longer piled up, no snowflakes accumulated on my head, and the coolness between my nose was gone.

An umbrella appeared above my head.

This time, it was a red umbrella.