Fall in love with the ex Bai Yueguang

"I remember very clearly, the No. 17 earthquake, I was still on the console when the earthquake happened, and I felt the shock."

Tan Qisheng opened his mouth, under the gaze of a room full of people.

"As soon as we called to stop the experiment urgently, a phone call came from Yecheng, saying that the communication signal near the observation station in Kaner City had been cut off. Chunxi and the others were all inside, and the rescue had already gone. Don't worry. I I hung up the phone and started to wait. In such an emergency, I couldn’t leave instead, and I had to stay in place to guard against emergencies. At that time, I didn’t feel afraid. The observation station was on the mountain, and the research institute had a high level of earthquake resistance. If you are trapped inside for a few days, there will be no accidents."

Professor Fang sighed deeply.

Tan Xin couldn't stand listening anymore, turned around and walked to the window without saying a word.

Standing at the door, Xie Li could only see Tan Ke's profile with his head down.From the forehead to the root of the nose, half of the face is covered by the shadow of the curtain, and the corners of the lips are drawn straight, like an arrow ready to go.

"It took another three days before I finally got the news that everyone else was fine, but after Chunxi and another colleague went down the mountain to collect the equipment, they never went back. They suspected that something happened and they are organizing a search and rescue. They The words hinted at me and told me to be mentally prepared."

Tan Qisheng subconsciously twirled something at the base of his ring finger with his thumb, and it was only then that Xie Li noticed that it was a ring.Because it has been worn for too long, the joints of the fingers are deformed, and it has long been impossible to take it off. It can only be moved slightly near the root of the finger.The ring seemed to have never been cleaned, and Ude could hardly see the true color of silver.

"At that time, I thought she must still be waiting there, and there would be no problem. The disaster area was blocked, so I asked my old leader to pass me the call and make arrangements. There happened to be a batch on the 20th. The car set off from Yecheng to deliver supplies. The young men in the institute sent me to the county overnight so that I could go to the disaster area with their car."

Tan Qisheng's tone became more and more flat, like the straight line on the electrocardiogram, which was shockingly flat: "We arrived at Kaner City on the night of the 20th. I met the station master of the observatory and heard the whole story. .Then there is waiting. I don’t know where your sister heard about it. She must come on the phone. I had the heart to let the children suffer for her, and in the afternoon, they found someone."

Suddenly there was a sound by the window.

Xie Li followed the sound and looked up. It was Tan Xin crying silently on the glass through the curtain.

She trembled so much that the whole curtain rack trembled with it.

Her silent weeping with suppressed voice made people even more distressed.

Tan Qisheng seemed to be blown by an ordinary gust of wind. He only glanced at it, then turned his head and continued: "When Chunxi was found, Kaner City was hot. After the earthquake, it was even hotter. They said they were rolled down the mountain. The rubble and broken wood were smashed, and the two people who went out together disappeared. Your sister went in to have a look, and vomited for half an hour when she came out."

Only then did Tan Qisheng raise his head and look at his son in front of him, as if he finally remembered that he was talking to him specifically: "I was at the door, and I already smelled it. You have grown up so much, and you have only attended your grandpa and grandma's funeral, have you ever seen someone who died in an accident?"

Without a peaceful face, even discrimination becomes a burden.To look for the once familiar features among the unrecognizable, and even feel a trance when facing the fragmented flesh and blood—is this still the person I once loved so deeply?

Tan Qisheng shook his head and said, "Dad, I can swear, I never had the idea of ​​using this kind of thing to punish you for dropping out of school. I didn't tell you at the beginning because I was about to collapse. Then I thought Let her go with dignity, and I can't let another child and her colleagues see her like this. My old leader helped me find a person who specializes in funeral and cosmetology in Yecheng. We paid I just asked him to do it with all his heart. I wanted to wait a little longer, but your sister-in-law came and said that she couldn't wait, so she must call you back immediately."

Tan Ke didn't know this part, not even Professor Fang.She couldn't hide the surprise on her face: "Why didn't you explain it to him?"

Tan Qisheng looked at her and then at Tan Ke: "How can I explain? When he came back, he saw me as if he had met an enemy. Chunxi just disappeared. Why should I care what kind of temper this bastard is having?"

Professor Fang still finds it incredible: "After all these years, you can always find a chance to tell him, right? Why did you let him misunderstand like this?"

Tan Qisheng, who had been calm all this time, suddenly became agitated, and there was an unseen grievance in his tone: "How do I know that he thinks of me as a father like this? How do I know that he thinks of me so viciously? Then he asked Have you passed me?"

Professor Fang was speechless.

Xie Li thought it was absurd at first when he heard it, it was extremely absurd.But then he felt sad again, and the great sorrow fermented in his heart amidst the quarrel.

Tan Xin's crying turned from silent to sobbing, and finally broke out in the quarrel between her father and her aunt. She turned around and cried to Tan Qisheng: "Then when did you give brother a good face?! What's the difference between you?! "

Everyone shut up.

Tan Ke, who had been standing silently, was like a stone statue that had suddenly come to life, stiff all over, with his arms close to his sides, his knees not even bent, and staggered out.

Professor Fang didn't even have time to stop him.

Xie Li didn't react until the door was slammed shut, and rushed out to chase him.

It was a busy time in the hospital, and the nurses came and went in a hurry pushing the trolley, and the family members of the patients chased after the doctor and kept asking questions.Xie Li saw that out of place figure at a glance, wandering aimlessly along the corridor, looking extremely lonely among all the ambitious people.

Xie Li chased after him: "Tan Ke..."

Tan Ke seemed to have isolated himself from the outside world, ignoring his call, and just kept walking forward.

The corridor is not long, only more than ten meters, and it ends in an instant.

Tan Ke turned his foot, opened the door and entered the fire exit.

He walked up the stairs step by step, kept walking, didn't want to stop, and didn't dare to stop, as if as long as he didn't stop, he didn't have to face it or think about it.

He heard Xie Li's call behind him, vague and distant, from another world, the world he was trying to avoid at this moment.He kept his feet on the floor, the floor was getting higher and higher, and the noise from the fire escape safety door into the stairwell gradually disappeared.He almost stepped into another world in a trance, only his panting and heartbeat.

Until Xie Li screamed from behind him.

Tan Ke suddenly came back to his senses, and suddenly stopped and turned around. Xie Li was kneeling on the top step of the stairs, his face flushed, panting and looking up at him.

Xie Li chased him quickly, and his physical strength was not as good as his, so he tripped over the stairs when his feet were messed up.

Tan Ke suddenly woke up.

The noise outside the fire escape door poured in one after another.

Xie Li got up slowly, patted the dirt on his hands, rubbed them on his pants, and finally grabbed Tan Ke's hand: "Don't run away, okay?"

Tan Ke stared at Xie Li for a while, and felt that his behavior of running away was extremely ridiculous.

What is he running for.Could it be that he couldn't accept that his father was not as vicious as he expected, or could he not accept that he thought his father was so vicious?

Xie Li clenched Tan Ke's hand tightly, fearing that he would run away again.He approached the other party, and reached out to hug him instead: "Why do you look so sad? It's just a misunderstanding. Isn't this supposed to be a good thing?"

Tan Ke didn't speak, yes, why did he feel sad?

The moment he heard Tan Qisheng's words, his subconscious thought was to question the authenticity.He would rather believe that Tan Qisheng was lying to him than that his father's concealment was due to communication failure and wishful thinking protection.

So what is his resentment all these years?

Tan Ke stood up straight, as if the stone statue had just come to life and fell under the witch's curse again.

"Do you also think that I'm really bad?" He pushed Xie Li, and found that the little boy was hugging him tightly, so he let him hold him.

Xie Li buried himself on his shoulder and shook his head vigorously: "I don't think you are bad, but I think you and your father are very pitiful."

Others may get angry when they hear this.But Tan Ke knew that Xie Li probably didn't mean that, and now he just wants to hear people talk, just say anything.So he asked Xie Li: "Why?"

Xie Li put one arm around his waist, and patted his back with the other hand, like coaxing a baby, with a soft and compassionate tone.

"You don't tell anyone, you don't tell anyone. You think your father is cruel to your mother, but in fact he does a lot of things quietly, just not in the way you expect. He doesn't tell you, so you don't know You blame him, you think he doesn't love you. If you ask these questions, you will actually get a different answer. But why don't you say it? Don't say if you like it, don't say it if you don't like it, don't say it if you don't dare Would you say? Isn’t this pitiful?”

Tan Ke was silent for a while.He was inexplicably distracted at such a time.

Xie Li does not seem to be a very brave and strong type, but in fact he is far more courageous than most of the people around him. He not only dares to pursue, but also abandons pride and bows his head to show weakness.

Sometimes he really can't understand where Xie Li's confidence comes from. He is obviously an orphan and has no one to rely on, and he is obviously fine and loves two drops of golden beans. How can such a person be so brave.

For the first time in Tan Ke's life, he had a feeling towards another person, that this person in front of him was reliable, and even someone he could turn to for help.

"Then what do you think I should do?"

He asked involuntarily.

When Tan Xin finally stopped her tears and was about to go out to find someone, Xie Li came back with Tan Ke.

Professor Fang looked at the two people, and Xie Li's eyes turned red, as if Tan Ke's were also red.

Tan Qisheng was so tired that he leaned on the hospital bed and waved to Tan Ke, but he didn't even look at him: "Go away. I finally know what kind of father I am in your heart. Since you hate me , then from now on, I won’t have to see—”

"—Dad, I'm sorry."

Tan Ke suddenly spoke and interrupted him.

"I really hate you, because you are always away, because you once had the opportunity to transfer back and you refused."

Tan Ke stared at the thin blanket under Tan Qisheng, and suddenly remembered that he had used it before.The outer cover was still made by his mother.

"Because my mother suffered a lot of grievances and hardships when you were not at home, because you always only blamed me, and because Tan Xin cried and said that she was afraid that you would know about her bad grades every time she got an exam."

It's too shameful for a man over thirty to say so many complaints to his father.He should have shut up, buried all this in his heart, and been a silent and obedient son.But Xie Li said in the stairwell, why not tell all those grievances?It couldn't be any worse anyway.

"Because you have been forcing me to study physics, and you have never considered whether I like it, because my mother was crying in the bedroom holding the application the day she received the transfer application, because I thought I would almost never see my mother. one side."

He paused here, because the next sentence was too heavy, and he had to accumulate enough strength to say that sentence with a clear voice——

"Because you never recognized me, no matter what I did."

The last sentence finally made Tan Qisheng look back, his eyes seemed to be meeting his son for the first time.

Tan Ke finished.

He breathed lightly, he didn't dare to expect a response.

It can't get any worse anyway.

But he stood quietly for a while, never waiting for Tan Qisheng to say a single word.

That's it, as expected.

"I shouldn't—"

"I did not expect--"

The father and son opened their mouths at the same time after the silence, and shut their mouths in unison during the collision of words.

The courage that prompted them to speak did not come easily, and it was about to fade into thin air again.

"It never occurred to me that I would be a lousy father."

But Tan Qisheng opened his mouth anyway, because a father always needs a little more courage than a child.

"I really never thought about it. But to hear you say it, I'm really bad. I'm a father for the first time, and it seems that I'm not good at being a father, very bad."

He looked at Tan Ke, then at Tan Xin who was carrying the bag, "I am short-tempered, and I want you to become talents. I used to be too strict with you, and I always think that you will understand when you grow up. I am wronged because I can't be at home because of work, and I am wronged. Your mother is gone. I thought that when you retire, when you grow up, there will always be opportunities and time," he covered his mouth and coughed again, "but it turns out that I was wrong. Chunxi left, I I can't live for too long. My father didn't do well, and it's my fault that you misunderstood me so much, but that's the only way to go. "

There was a calmness of resignation in his words, as if he had accepted the dying of his wife and children.

The foreshadowing in his words made Tan Xin's eyes red again.She threw the bag heavily on the ground, and threw herself on Tan Qisheng's lap: "Father, you still have time. Don't you visit us more for mom? Why don't you want to go to the United States to see a doctor!"

Tan Qisheng reached out and touched his daughter's head.

Tan Ke's lips moved: "If you go to the United States to see a doctor, I will forgive you."

He finally discovered that he, who had always resented his father, was actually the one who couldn't accept his father's dying life.

He said again: "You go to the United States to see a doctor, and then come back to fulfill your responsibilities."

The author has something to say:--

This is probably one of the saddest parts I've ever written.After writing, deleting and deleting, I found that the table was full of napkins_(:з」∠)_

Tomorrow will start to be sweet.Our little chestnut is going to take grandpa (not) to school.

--

Fang Xian: It’s actually such a simple thing, come and learn from me—Dad, you haven’t cared about me recently, do you still love me?

Father Fang: Love love love.Bring me back a pack of cigarettes.When you come back, hide from the dog at the door, the dog will smell cigarettes.In case your mother catches it, don't say that I asked you to bring it, just say that you smoked it yourself.Dad loves you the most.

Fang Xian: ...But the whole family knows that I don't smoke.