Those who are close to you are sweet

The word "obsessed" is pronounced with a strong sense of indifference, like a streetlight pole that a drunken person reaches out to hold on to when he is dizzy, like a smoke ring that a smoker blows out inadvertently.

Leng You felt a little uncomfortable when he followed Bai Yan's rhetoric, and that little discomfort was magnified exponentially after a few seconds of silence. He felt uncomfortable, his heart was thrown into the water of coptis, bitter The ventricle and atrium were filled layer by layer through the cells, and he felt so miserable that his eyes were blurred.

No, this is not acceptable.

Leng You turned his head and blinked vigorously, the mist in front of his eyes was already shallow, and with this movement, the mist-like drops of water covered his eyeballs, as if nothing had happened.

However, nothing happened. This kind of rhetoric itself is a kind of self-deception, used to comfort and paralyze myself, hoping that this kind of attitude that has nothing to do with myself can relieve the spasm in my heart.

how can that be possible?

Even if nitroglycerin was used to relax the smooth muscle of the blood vessels and reduce the load on the heart, the regret caused by the words would not be reduced at all.

The medicine does not matter, how can a word work?

"Aunt Bai, we're not dating." Leng You thought, what words and expressions should be used to describe and summarize his relationship with Bai Leyan?

Find a partner, make friends, fall in love.

These words appeared in Leng You's mind one by one, but they were all denied by Leng You one by one.These words are just a phenomenon floating on the surface, they are rootless ice floes floating on the cold sea water when approaching Antarctica, and they will disappear sooner or later—the edges are corroded by the impact of sea water, and the sudden sharp edges when breaking have long since disappeared, and the smooth It looks like an ice sculpture that has been polished thousands of times.

No relationship can be fully described.

Bai Yan smiled indifferently: "It doesn't matter if it's worth it or not, as long as you think it's worth it."

"Auntie, do you think it's worth it?" Leng You gave up the entanglement, and cryptically asked the disobedience he felt when he saw the other party for the first time - obviously there was a chance, and it was obvious that he could get back Bai, who was discarded by her many years earlier. Le Yan's, why didn't he do this, instead he suddenly came to recognize his child now.

Leng You suddenly thought of Bai Leyan's disappearance now, the other party had already guessed that this kind of thing happened, and even seemed very happy to see Qi Cheng being very excited.

When Bai Yan heard this kind of question, she suddenly stopped smiling and spoke after a while.The words of the answer were not aimed at specific events, nor at her determination when she abandoned her child, nor at her neglect for so many years, nor at her sudden recognition today.

All of a sudden, the afternoon sunlight in front of them was filtered through the window glass, becoming fragile and blurred into a ball, and then the blurred halo turned into mountains, trapping them.

In a trance, she saw herself and her younger brother who were beaten and scolded by their drunken father every day, with their arms covering their heads, and strands of red marks were drawn out by the belt. A drop of blood came out.

The younger brother's arms and legs are even more skinny. Boys are born to grow tall, but they are malnourished, and often have leg cramps at night and sweat profusely.

They can't cry or shout, if they wake up the violent man, maybe the end will be even worse.

Day and night, I have been thinking about how to escape from the overlapping deep mountains, whether there will always be bright lanterns on the side of the mountain where the sun sets.

Until that day, a middle-aged man with a bald head and a big belly came all the way to do charity and promote social responsibility for his company.

When that person saw Bai Yan, he straightened his eyes, gave a grand opening speech at the school, and privately found Bai Yan, asking her if she would like to follow him.

follow...

Why not follow?

Bai Yan and her younger brother were sitting in the car, the mountain road was bumpy, they would occasionally bounce off the car seat, and sometimes even hit their heads on the roof of the car.

"Wear your seat belt?" The assistant drove the car, carrying the timid siblings who didn't know what to do next.

"Ah..." At that time, they didn't even know what a seat belt was, let alone fasten it. They could only mutter "ummmahahah", but there was no movement.

How about coming out of the deep mountains?

They haven't graduated from high school yet, and the books they read in school are also muddled.

Bai Yan stuffed Bai Zhou into the school, but Bai Zhou didn't study well, got into fights and didn't return home at night.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, Bai Yan got up from the bed completely naked, put on a casual dress, sat on the floor, and sat under the moonlight in front of the window.

She thought: Is it possible that people like them will never be able to get rid of the filth?

Now I hear Leng You ask her if it's worth it...

"There are many regrets, but if I can go back to that time and make a new choice, it will still be the same and nothing will change." She will still choose to leave Dashan with her brother.

As for her tossing around with many men, she was saving money and was about to take her younger brother away when she found out that she was pregnant. This child was so annoying and disrupted all her subsequent life arrangements.

She really didn't share any love for this child, and even thought resentfully: "Why don't you just roll downstairs like this, or you'll die twice."

At that time, she was pregnant, was diagnosed with depression, and could not take antidepressants, enjoying how she would die every day.

Everything now is the best direction she can achieve with her best efforts.

……

"Sister, we're almost there." Bai Zhou slowed down the car.Looking back at Leng You again, he whistled, "Cheer up, we're going to be thieves."

"We want..." Just when Leng You was about to ask them how to get in, Bai Yan took out her mobile phone and dialed: "Hello, Uncle?"

"Long time no see, Bo can't even recognize my voice?" Bai Yan stretched out her hand and made an OK gesture to Bai Zhou, while talking on the phone, "It's me, it's Yanyan, Bo, why did you put me on the phone?" Have you forgotten?"

"That's right, Uncle, can you give me your phone to your husband?" Bai Yan held the phone in her left hand, stretched out her right index finger and pressed it against the car window. It seemed that she was pressing so hard that the knuckles closest to her fingertips were bent. Such a shocking arc made people who saw it feel that this poor finger would be broken into two sections in the next second.

Leng You had one arm fixed and hung around his neck so he could not move, and the other hand pinched the back of the seat in front of him. Anxiety can be contagious in many ways.

For example, a speeding car, such as the air that has been silent for too long and is approaching solidification, or pressing on the car window with such force that it looks like it can poke a hole in the window.

Anxiety is contagious through the cochlea, contagious through touch, contagious through sight.

The layers are like winter rain, with thick fog before the rain and night after the rain.

……

It was a tall man who came to pick them up, and Bai Yan called him: "You are Ah Qi, right? I will trouble you today."

The man named Ah Qi walked straight to the driver's seat without giving Bai Yan a look, knocked on the window, and signaled Bai Zhou to get out of the car.

Ah Qi sat in the driver's seat, and Bai Zhou sat next to Leng You.

Leng You stared at the front, and through the isolation of the car window, he saw a small piece of distance - that was the lush trees on both sides in winter, and that was the small western-style building hidden under the shadow of the mottled trees.

Bai Leyan was right there.

Rose was kidnapped by a dragon and locked in a cave full of jewels, waiting for the prince to rescue her with a sword.

Leng You withdrew his gaze and stared at the tattered self, without a sharp sword in his hand, and even lost an arm before fighting.

With such a bleak appearance, can he defeat the dragon?

He has only a lonesome courage.

Or it would be biased to say it this way, Leng You thought: I was probably an old hen whose eggs had just been robbed by others, flapping its wings in grief and anger, jumping up and down the yard to express dissatisfaction and despair, but that was it. This kind of psychotic self-mutilation does not solve the problem at all, it only leads to ridicule: look, crazy.

What is he fighting for?

Leng You thought: The person who was in the same car as him was not from the same road.

Perhaps only the person who was imprisoned in the small foreign building whose circumstances are unknown is the companion who is really tied to him.

The so-called relatives who suddenly appear are more like spectators who care about profits and losses, so they don't care about your emotions.

——There are many regrets, but if I can go back to that time and make a new choice, it will still be the same, and there will be no change.

will not change.

No matter how tactful and sweet the words are, it’s just to cover up the abandonment of the past, wrap ten or eight layers of foam paper thickly, paste it with tape, and finally write it vigorously with a thick marker—that’s it !

Doing it again will still throw him away, it's just a burden, how can it be more important than your own life?

But why did you find it again?

Leng You suddenly had a weird idea flashed in his mind, this idea came suddenly, but there were traces to follow.

Could it be related to this gentleman who lives in the Xiaoyang Building of Dongxing Hotel?After all, the siblings of the Bai family knew Bai Leyan on the front foot, but Bai Leyan's mysterious father on the back foot took him away.

Ah Qi parked the white Volvo in the parking lot. It was originally a glamorous car that could show off its power on the road, but suddenly its luster dimmed, and it lost its color among the real luxury cars around.

Only Ah Qi opened the car door and got out of the car, Leng You just became suspicious, and saw Ah Qi go around the front of the car, first opened the passenger door, asked Bai Yan to come out, and then opened the rear door.

Bai Yan smiled at him, looking pure and innocent, as if she was extremely grateful for this behavior, her voice was soft and sweet, with a natural coquettish tone: "Thank you, Ah Qi."

This kind of behavior seems to have been imprinted in the bone and engraved on the soul.You can act like a baby to anyone, and you can use it to get what you want, maybe it's something, maybe it's a thing.She always has a way.

However, this method came in a low voice, and I hated it.

She didn't want this, never wanted to.

After this time, let's go.

Once again, I took my brother away and lived a life that didn't require crying silently or wearing a smiling mask.