【Xie Chen】Live like this

When the piano struck the first note, Xie Yi thought it was the alarm clock ringing. He reached out from under the quilt to touch the alarm clock on the bedside table and pressed it several times. In his brain, Xie Yi reluctantly got out of the quilt, put the back of his hand on his forehead to wake up, and then realized that the piano music was playing on the phone next to the pillow.

I forgot to turn off the air conditioner when I was sleeping last night, and the hot and cold air from the air outlet filled the room, making my chest suffocated and my throat rustling with thirst. Xie Yi grabbed his phone and got out of bed, while answering the phone Go to the kitchen to boil water.

The other party omitted the pleasantries, and said concisely: "Xie Yi, come over for lunch at noon."

Xie Yi hurriedly swallowed the lukewarm water, waited for his throat to feel better, and asked absent-mindedly, "Excuse me, who are you?"

There was a pause before speaking, and the tone was subtly adjusted a few degrees: "Xie Yi, there is no medicine for staying up late and being stupid."

After realizing it was Tong's voice, he hurriedly said, "I just woke up, but I didn't realize it was you."

"Oh," Hitomi accepted his explanation: "If you sleep stupidly, there is no medicine."

Xie Yi put the quilt on the sink without a word, and changed the subject: "Tong, what's the matter?"

The anger brought by "Who are you" returned all the anger, and Hitomi let it go when he saw it, and kindly did not continue to complain about his signs of Alzheimer's disease.

"I just said, come over for lunch."

Before he could open his mouth, Tong continued: "After all, it's Chinese New Year. Things like poisoning yourself at home won't be on the news. Give up. Come over for dinner, everything is ready, that's it."

The sound of dripping water in the sink and the busy tone rang in his ears at the same frequency, Xie Yi came back to his senses, only then realized that Tong had hung up the phone.

The faucet seemed to be broken. He turned it hard, and the water drops fell straight down without being disturbed, and smashed to the bottom of the cup with a thud, followed by another drop, which followed the same route and smashed to pieces.

Xie Yi had no choice but to give up and go out later, remember to go to the supermarket to buy a new one.

When did it break?

Xie Yi took another glass of water and thought suspiciously as he picked up the glass and walked towards the living room, but he couldn't remember anyway.

He is not good at cooking, and the time he spends in the kitchen is limited.

Forget it.

Before the winter vacation, Le Wuyi invited Xie Yi to his home several times to celebrate the New Year. Xie Yi was very moved, and then declined his apprentice's kindness.

Le Wuyi successfully left the group at the beginning of the year and formally dated Wen Renyu. This year, he wants to take his girlfriend home to meet his parents.Although Le Wuyi didn't mind being careless, Xie Yi was very self-conscious and didn't want to join in the fun at this juncture.

What's more, the closer the Chinese New Year was, the more inexplicably depressed Xie Yi became, and he didn't even go to Yanjia's house much, and he didn't want to go out in the first place.

But Tong's invitation cannot be refused, and among his friends, he is the only one who is a little apprehensive towards Tong.

Probably because the shadow brought by Hitomi's mouth cannon attack is enough to cover people with dark clouds for as long as a year.

Xie Yi took the bus to Tong’s house. To pass the time, he kept watching the small TV hanging on the top of the carriage playing public service advertisements in a loop. However, his mind wandered away. If the driver hadn’t reminded him to get off the bus at the terminal, Xie Yi might Go directly to the bus company.

As a result, I had to walk back two stops.

It's past the beginning of spring, and it's still so cold that the dripping water turns into ice, and the air is so dry and tense that it seems that you can fiddle with it with your hands, and the thick clouds hang low in the sky, which is a harbinger of snowfall.

Xie Yi buttoned his coat all the way to his neck, and pulled up the knitted scarf to cover most of his face.

Recently, he often involuntarily looks at all objects within his reach in a daze.

When I was in a daze, I didn't think about anything, I couldn't think, and my thoughts fell into a blank.

It was as if a piece of his mind had been hollowed out. He didn't know which part was lost, let alone who took it for what reason. However, the method was rough and there was almost no aftermath work, so that he was always aware of that part. The existence of a void.

Whenever consciousness sneaks into that blankness spontaneously, Xie Yi can only be in a daze without thinking.

It was blank in the true sense, not something like white spots on black paper, but utter nothingness.

Like an empty bird's nest under the eaves.

You know what's been there, a little bit of grass, a little bit of dirt, painstakingly taking a little bit of grass, a little bit of dirt, and a whole world built up over the years.However, the precious things carried by that world suddenly disappeared, and there was no trace of their whereabouts, only the empty shell remained.

Whatever was gone was nowhere to be found, and he could only stare at the empty shell.

Tong's home is in a secluded mid-to-high-end residential area. Xie Yi rang the doorbell, and the person who opened the door was a little experimenter living in his house. Seeing him coming, he quickly took out a pair of cotton slippers from the shoe cabinet and placed them on the ground, inviting him in.

The little experimenter's background is unknown, his name is unknown, he is not tall, and his body is thin. He has a face with beautiful features but forgettable. Only his eyes are shining, shining like jewels.

How Tong and Xie Yi met is unknown, but the little experimenter seemed to suddenly appear at Tong's house, and Tong introduced him as Twelve to everyone who came to visit.

Then there is no more.

This kind of joking name is not real at first glance, it is more like the number of the experimental subject, the little experimenter unexpectedly had no objection, smiled obediently, and accepted it with a good temper.

Xie Yi thanked him, and when he was changing shoes in the entrance, 12 folded his hands in front of him, and stood beside him quietly, looking at him with a little restraint in his respect.

But when Xie Yi inadvertently raised his eyes to look at him, he would quickly look away.

Xie Yi stared at him deliberately, Twelve really felt uncomfortable, his back tensed, he stood helplessly for a while, then simply turned around and walked away, calling him softly to sit in the living room.

Xie Yi looked at his back suspiciously.

From the first meeting, Xie Yi felt that Twelve's attitude was very strange. He seemed to be trying to avoid eye contact with him as much as possible. Occasional eye contact would make him flustered.

It's almost like a lurker who hides his name with an ulterior secret and meets someone who happens to know the truth but doesn't know it.

Xie Yi joked with Tong once.

Tong held his chin with his fingers, looked at him silently until his spine felt chills, and then said calmly: Xie Yi, your brain is too big, it's a disease that can be cured.

As soon as he walked into the living room, the oncoming shock made Xie Yi stop in his tracks. Tong sat in a wheelchair and turned the chair skillfully. His knees were covered with a thick blanket like all patients with unconscious legs and feet.

Xie Yi was startled, hesitantly said: "Tong, your leg..."

Tong Tong said flatly: "I've got rheumatism, I'm just too lazy to move around."

Xie Yi breathed a sigh of relief, seeing Tong Tong sitting in the wheelchair with a calm expression on his face, he couldn't help complaining that laziness is also a disease.

Tong stared at him and smiled thinly, then suddenly asked: "Do you have any medicine?"

……

Xie Yi looked at Tong in surprise, opened his mouth in a daze, and finally decided not to resist. Anyway, in terms of talking, no one can withstand Tong's fighting power, and it is not shameful to lose.

Hitomi was satisfied with his immediate silence, and rarely pursued the victory, and ordered to Twelve: "Everyone is here, let's serve dinner."

The dishes were brought out one by one, and there were eight traditional Chinese New Year dishes, including steaming, cooking, frying and frying. They also made some fancy snacks, and boiled a pot of rice wine with dried plums.

It's too much for three people.

Xie Yi expressed his opinion a little bit, and Tong Tong said, the rest will be packed for you to take home.

Twelve watched the two chattering back and forth, and poured the wine with a smile. The steaming and mellow wine filled the cup, and the rich aroma of the wine mixed with the sweet and sour taste of the plums steamed up. Xie Yi was taken aback for a moment. I was stunned, and a little dazed.

Hitomi's chopsticks tapped lightly on the edge of the plate in front of him, Xie Yi came back to his senses, Tong sat opposite him and looked at him expressionlessly, as if he was looking at a terminally ill patient who shunned treatment.

Xie Yi picked up the wine glass a bit awkwardly, and the hot rice wine cooked with plums touched his lower lip. He suddenly didn't want to drink, so he put down the wine glass and casually picked up a winter bamboo shoot, chewing slowly.

Tong's eyes fell on the two shadows under his eyes without moving, and he said calmly: "Xie Yi, you must be restrained."

Xie Yi's expression changed a few times, he swallowed the winter bamboo shoots hastily, and protested dumbfoundingly: "Hitomi..."

"Look in the mirror by yourself. The dark circles are almost covering your eyes. If you can't sleep at night, I have medicine here."

Xie Yi said without confidence: "No, it's not that he can't sleep."

Tong Tong looked at Xie Yi's face meaningfully, and raised his voice slightly: "Oh? So it's still..."

Xie Yi quickly interrupted him: "Dreaming all night, I didn't sleep well."

"Have a nightmare?"

Xie Yi held the wine glass and shook his head, seeing Tong's lips moving, the word 'spring' was about to blurt out, he said without waiting for him to speak: "It's a very ordinary dream, I don't know what's going on, I keep dreaming about it recently."

Hitomi signaled him to continue with his gaze.

Xie Yi had no choice but to say: "I dreamed that I was walking on the main road of the school. It was night, and the parasol trees on the side of the road were wrapped with colorful lights. There was rock music coming from far away, and there were students shouting and laughing. , It seemed to be a festival. It was very cold, and it was snowing lightly. I walked out of the school gate and took the last bus home. For some reason, I waited and waited but it didn’t come. I had to wait until I woke up.”

Hitomi focused on picking and choosing in the soup with a pair of chopsticks, and commented uninterestedly: "It sounds ordinary, nothing special."

"Yes." Xie Yi took a sip of the warm wine in the glass, the fruity flavor of the plums neutralized the pungentness of the wine, and gently slid down his throat into his stomach, the heat seeped into his blood, and instantly flowed to his limbs, He closed his eyes and sighed.

"It just feels like something's not quite right...something's wrong."

Tong Tong picked up the pigeon legs from the soup, looked at them, put them into twelve bowls, and asked, "For example?"

Xie Yi thought for a long time, turned the wine glass in his hand in a daze, looked at the tiny ripples of the wine in the glass, and said dully: "...I don't know."

In fact, this is one of the few parts he 'knows' about.

I just don't know how to describe it.

Every time he recalled that dream, Xie Yi felt that there should be another person walking beside him in that scene.

But who is that person?Xie Yi filled in the images of his dreams one by one with the people he knew, but none of them were right.

Tong picked up a part of the breast rib of a pigeon, picked off the thin and delicate flesh between the ribs with the tip of the chopsticks, and used the bamboo chopsticks like a scalpel, and said sincerely: "Xie Yi, something is wrong with you recently, if you continue like this , will really get sick."

"I understand," Xie Yi smiled wryly, "Tong, I plan to suspend my job next year."

Hitomi stopped her chopsticks and looked up at him.

Xie Yi explained before he said 'sick': "Probably stayed in one place for too long, no matter where you go, you want to walk around."

Tong lowered his head and continued the work just now, picked off the last bit of meat, picked up the clean and complete sternum and placed it in a small plate, then said without raising his head, "That's fine."

Xie Yi left after the meal and went home, Tong didn't make much effort to keep him, and asked Twelve to pack a few plates of freshly steamed dim sum for him.

Xie Yi wanted to decline, but before he could say anything, he shut his mouth and kept his voice under Tong's eyes looking at the dying man.

Twelve sent Xie Yi out, but pushed Tong to the balcony. After a while, Xie Yi walked out of the stairs with a convenient lunch box containing snacks. In the afternoon, it started to snow, Xie Yi stopped near the flower bed, raised his head slightly, and looked up. He closed his eyes, looked at the sky, then turned around, facing upstairs, raised his arms and shook with a smile.

The sky was overcast and snowy, Xie Yi's soft mouth corners were shrouded in the dark sky, and he seemed a little powerless.

Twelve also smiled and shook his hand, Hitomi leaned on the armrest of the wheelchair with his elbow, supported his chin and nodded slightly in response.

The two watched Xie Yi walk out of the community, and were silent for a while, Tong put down his hand and tapped on his knee, Twelve understood, and pushed the wheelchair back to the living room.

Tong raised his gaze, saw Twelve drooping eyelashes, sullen, and asked clearly: "Twelve, what do you want to say?"

Twelve clenched the hand holding the putter suddenly, pursed his lips slightly, and showed an unbearable expression: "Master Tong, is this really correct? For Mr. Xie Yi...it's too cruel."

"Let Xie Yi think about it now, he won't feel better, besides, this is Ah Ye's choice," Tong paused, and stretched out his hand, covering the back of Twelve's hand with blood-colored fingers, gently stroking : "Memory is something that cannot be taken away. One day you will remember it in a certain way. It only depends on the length of time. You don't have to apologize."

Twelve sighed in a low voice: "Yes, Master Tong."

Hitomi let go, looked at the cups and plates on the dining table that hadn't been put away in time, and ordered: "Go to the kitchen and heat up the pigeon soup, and give me a bowl."

Twelve was slightly stunned, agreed, and asked with a worried look: "Master Tong eats very little at noon, is it because the food is not to your taste?"

Hitomi shook her head: "Your craftsmanship is very good, I didn't have an appetite just now, but now I'm a little hungry."

Twelve showed a relieved expression, the corners of his eyes were bent, and a smile appeared on his lips: "Then heat up the dishes that Master Tong likes to eat, and eat more."

"what ever."

Xie Yi weighed between taking the bus and taking a taxi, and finally chose the former.

Compared with cars, Xie Yi prefers buses and subways. He bought a car two years ago, and he completely forgot about it. He only remembered it when he noticed the extra keys on the keychain one day. Probably As a result of impulse buying, a brand new Chevrolet is sitting rusting in the garage.

The bus slowly stopped at the platform, Xie Yi walked up and sat down at the nearest seat.

There were more vacant seats in the car than passengers, and the small TV showing the charity film was also turned off. After Xie Yi sat down, he found that he had nowhere to rest his eyes, so he had to look at his palm for a while, then turned over and continued to stare at the back of his hand.

He looked at the fingers and palms that were part of his body, and he couldn't see any difference between them and those three or five years ago. There seemed to be no more lines on the skin, but no less.

This always gives him the illusion that time has stopped, but the time on the calendar is indeed superimposed year after year, and the people around him are more or less older than before, and the liquid time flows endlessly. Here he stands still, making him stronger than anything else.

A lonely existence that cannot pass the time.

Xie Yi pressed the space between his eyebrows, put aside those strange thoughts, and looked out of the window. It was snowing in the early spring, and there were sporadic blurred faces standing on the platform, waiting for the bus that seemed to never come. It was still winter. , but the willow trees on the river bank in the distance have already grown new buds like light green mist.

Winter to spring.

Another year.

END