poor little understand

The bleak north wind swayed the surrounding pines and cypresses, and a few people were sparsely scattered in the cemetery.

When Lin Muting put Dong Jianing's ashes behind the tombstone, Cheng Yan let out a heart-piercing cry, "Jia Ning, mother's own daughter! You are going to kill mother.....you put mother Kill it... Mom will never forgive you even if she dies in this life, and neither will you!"

Cheng Jiabao was also crying, "Sister, why are you so cruel........Do you ignore your brother......"

"Girl..." Dong Wei was also sitting on the ground with his head down, tears falling drop by drop.

Lin Mingcheng knelt in front of the tombstone, covered his eyes with his hands, and didn't make a sound, but everyone could see his sadness and remorse—this was a man who had lost his wife who had been with him for more than 20 years, and an underage son.

Even finding another woman is not easy.

The relationship of more than 20 years is that a tree can grow feelings, let alone a living person.

The friends and colleagues who came to see Dong Jianing off for the last time were affected by the emotions of Lin Mingcheng and Cheng Yan, and they were already wiping their eyes with tissue paper in a soft heart.

Lin Mingcheng and the others were crying so sadly. Lin Muting, Dong Jianing's only son, had dull eyes and no emotion on his face. Some people couldn't stand it.

"What's going on with Jianing's son? My mother died without shedding a single tear. Is this son raised for nothing?"

"It's such an old child, it's not a child anymore, and it doesn't even understand this."

"If I raise a son, I won't even cry when I die. I can just strangle him to death."

"Look at Jianing's mother's brother crying like this. I think Lin Mingcheng is about to faint from crying, but his son just can't cry. What kind of world is this? Are children so heartless?"

"It's not..."

Almost everyone in the onlookers pointed at him, and their scolding voices covered up Lin Mingcheng's cries. In the end, everyone stretched out their hands and hit Lin Muting.

Lin Muting, who was lying on the bed, opened his eyes suddenly.

Still heavy eyelids told him, lying on the Indian wool carpet that Dong Jianing had just washed, covered with the peony wool quilt that Dong Jianing bought according to his preferences, Lin Muting came back to his senses.

It turned out to be a dream.

He blinked his eyes, breathed a sigh of relief, closed his eyes again, and yelled loudly according to his usual habit, "Mom, I'm up."

Every day when he wakes up during holidays, Dong Jianing will make oil tea for him.This is an authentic habit among them. Everyone loves to drink camellia since childhood, and both Dong Jianing and Lin Muting like it.

But oil tea takes a lot of work, and the tea is cold and can’t be drunk, so when Lin Muting gets up, he will call his mother, and Dong Jianing will open the door and teach him a lesson, "It's eight o'clock and I don't get up yet, the sun is still shining." Butt, hurry up and drink tea and read a book, do you hear me?"

After getting his son up, Dong Jianing will prepare things like chopped rice, green onion, garlic and other ingredients. After Lin Muting washes up, he can have snacks and drink tea.

Usually they would drink tea for several hours. Lin Muting drank tea while reading a book, and then Dong Jianing made tea while watching his mobile phone. The mother and son just passed the morning like this.

If Lin Mingcheng was here, he would also drink tea with him.

Lin Muting lay on the bed in a daze for a long time, but he didn't see Dong Jianing coming to open his door. Instead, Lin Mingcheng knocked on the door with a complicated expression, hesitant to speak, "Xiaoting, you just called your mother... ..."

He really didn't know how to mention Dong Jianing to his son, so he forced a smile, "Get up, the old patriarch is here, get up and tidy up."

Seeing his father's expression, Lin Muting slowly regained consciousness, understood what he just called out, and lowered his head in response, "Yes."

-

Lin Mingcheng also didn't know why Lin Junchuo's father, Lin Rongxuan, the old patriarch of the Lin family, came to their house.

If it was for condolences, Lin Junchuo had been here on the day of Dong Jianing's burial, and now Lin Rongxuan came to the door in person, there really was no justifiable reason.

Especially Lin Rongxuan proposed to take Lin Muting out to talk.

A man in his 70s and [-]s and a boy in his [-]s and [-]s, what can they talk about?

Lin Mingcheng couldn't figure it out even though he was thinking about it.

But there was nothing in their family that Lin Rongxuan liked, and they had nothing to plot.Lin Rongxuan was willing to come to their house in person and talk to Lin Muting, he must have a good impression of Lin Muting.

This is a good thing that can't be found even with a lantern.

Lin Muting put on his clothes, wiped his face with a wet tissue in the room, came to the living room in the shortest possible time, and saw sitting in the middle of the sofa, wearing loose silk clothes, gold-rimmed glasses, and gray to black hair old man.

Sitting in Lin Muting's house, not only did he not appear to be a guest, but he had an aura of calm and prestige, which made people fear him at the first sight.

The first time Lin Muting saw Lin Junchuo's father was not only because of his identity as the old patriarch of the Lin clan, but also because he was the father of his lover. This delicate and complicated state of mind made him a little embarrassed, and he obediently followed Lin Mingcheng's instructions. He ordered and called out, "Grandpa patriarch is good."

They are all members of the Lin clan, so they should be called grandpa.

It's just that when he thought of his relationship with Lin Junchuo, he felt a little embarrassed when he yelled.

Lin Rongxuan squinted his eyes and looked at Lin Muting, with an invisible coolness in his eyes, and then said to Lin Mingcheng, "Mingcheng, Xiaoting just got up, I'll take him out for morning tea, and I'll take him back later Will it work?"

"It's his kid's luck." Lin Mingcheng smiled sincerely, "Xiaoting, you have to listen to the patriarch's grandfather, do you hear me?"

Lin Muting was used to looking at other people's faces since he was a child, and he felt that Lin Rongxuan didn't like him very much.But Lin Rongxuan had already spoken, and he had no intention of refusing, so he went to the bathroom to wash up, and then followed him out the door.

Lin Rongxuan did not take him to a hotel outside, but instead came to a property of his in the capital, where shrimp dumplings, crab dumpling, durian crisps, beef soup and other snacks and porridge had been set up for a table.When the people in the villa saw Lin Rongxuan coming, they took advantage of the opportunity to leave.

Lin Rongxuan sat on the main seat, seeing Lin Muting standing stiffly, he frowned slightly, "Sit down, let's have some breakfast."

Lin Rongxuan and Lin Junchuo don't look alike, and the way they treat people feels completely different.Lin Muting couldn't figure out what Lin Rongxuan was going to do, so he sat down and ate a few snacks slowly.

The old man had obviously already eaten, so he made a pot of tea with a small purple clay pot, and took out two cups, "Do you like cinnamon?"

"Okay, thank you." Lin Muting nodded.

Both he and Lin Junchuo like tea with a stronger flavor, such as cinnamon, rock tea, and Shupu, which they usually drink.

"Same taste as Jin Ping." The old man smiled, "Sure enough, he has a lover."

Lin Muting was shocked, and the spoon in his hand fell into the mutton soup and splashed on the table.He quickly wiped it with a tissue, lowering his head to cover up his gaffe.

In any case, being discovered by Lin Junchuo's father that his son was gay and married to him was not a happy thing for Huaxia's parents.

"Don't be nervous, I'm not here to accuse you, or to force you." The old man ignored Lin Muting's gaffe and started talking straight away. He poured a cup of tea, put it on the rotating disc, and turned to Lin Muting. Here, "Although I was born in China and grew up in China, I have lived in Europe for so many years, so I am still enlightened."

Lin Muting didn't know what to say, so he put down his chopsticks and listened to the old man.

"Continue to eat your food." The old man said, "When you are still growing up, how can you skip breakfast. Don't be nervous, let's just talk."

Lin Muting said cautiously, "Okay."

A table of morning tea, he likes to eat chicken feet and shrimp dumplings the most, put several on his plate, the old man sighed, "You and Jin Ping are really similar, he also loves to eat chicken feet since he was a child , I don’t like to eat shrimp, but I like to eat shrimp dumplings.”

Lin Muting was a little surprised when he heard someone say that about him and Lin Junchuo for the first time.

He has never seen Lin Junchuo since his mother was buried.

In the past, we cuddled each other day after day, saw each other when we opened our eyes, and still saw each other before closing our eyes, as if it was a gentle and gentle dream.

With his mother's death, this dream woke up.

On any other day before his mother died, he would have been overjoyed and even a little uneasy when he saw Lin Junchuo's father.

But now, even if he sensed the old man's dislike for him, he was left with restlessness and numbness.

Nothing matters anymore.

"Waterhead willows are green, branches and leaves leave love. Since then, brocade books will not be sent, and there will be no proof for painting buildings."

Lin Rongxuan's eyes were a little dark, and he read the poem softly, "Yan Jidao's "Qing Ping Le" is my wife's favorite poem. Therefore, she named her son Jin Ping, and imitated Jian Jian The Lingering Garden was built, and the Qingping Garden was built.”

Lin Muting raised his eyes, suddenly remembered that the first time he went to Qingpingyuan, he read Yan Jidao's poems.He also likes Yan Jidao, because he is familiar with it, so during the Fei Hua Ling, he said Yan Jidao's words several times.

No wonder Lin Junchuo treated him so well from the beginning, no wonder Lin Junchuo chose him to live in Qingpingyuan.

The root of all this is here.

"You know why, Jin Ping hasn't been married for so many years, and he doesn't have anyone around him, and he didn't even think about being a test-tube baby, and suddenly thought of adopting a child." Lin Rongxuan continued to speak, with some self-deprecating, "Because I In the past few years, he has undergone heart stent surgery and has been hospitalized frequently, so he is not very old.

"It's also because of my negligence that Jin Ping's mother suffered from severe depression in the early years. When Jin Ping was seven years old, she committed suicide by jumping off a building."

When Lin Junchuo was born, Lin Rongxuan was already 36 years old, nearly 40 years old.

This time is the most prosperous and busiest time for a man's career, not to mention that Lin's business has long been not only in China and Europe, but also a multinational company all over the world.Lin Rongxuan is used to living in a private jet every day, and he is busy with endless work all the time.

He and his wife Li Lanzhou have been in love for six years, and finally got married and had children. They have experienced many entanglements.

Generally speaking, couples who enter into marriage purely because of love affairs should live happily and harmoniously until they grow old. Unfortunately, this is just the version in fairy tales.

They had a child shortly after they got married, but because of the high-tech revolution at that time, Lin Rongxuan was determined to gain a place in this emerging industry, and it was rare to stay at home for more than a week in a month.Not to mention taking care of his pregnant wife, Lin Rongxuan was not with Li Lanzhou when she gave birth, but came late one day after Lin Junchuo was born.

Li Lanzhou had a difficult labor at that time, and it took two full days to give birth to her son.Dystocia brought Li Lanzhou not only the weakness of his son, but also the long recovery period of the abdominal wound.

Only those who have undergone a caesarean section will understand how bitter it is to be unable to take care of oneself, and to turn over to the point of tears.

Not to mention that dystocia and caesarean section brought Li Lanzhou not only stretch marks on her abdomen and long scars, an irrecoverable figure, freckles on her face, and her almost homeless husband.

How could Lin Rongxuan feel the pain of a woman giving birth and raising a child.Every time he went home, Lin Junchuo, who was still a baby, was a crying man at night, but Li Lanzhou put the child in their master bedroom, hoping that the child could spend more time with his father and strengthen their relationship.

Lin Rongxuan, who was tired from work, not only did not appreciate his wife's intentions, but felt that the crying of the child was annoying, so he took the bedding and went to sleep in the guest room farthest from the master bedroom.

Li Lanzhou asked Lin Rongxuan to change diapers and breastfeed his son. Lin Rongxuan felt irritable after only a few minutes of taking care of the child, and the child kept crying.If he had this time, it would be bad for him to go horseback riding and do something for fitness.Taking care of children is a woman's business, and he really doesn't understand why Li Lanzhou insists that he also take care of children.

In those days, wives took care of the children at home, while husbands went out to work, and wives existed just to please their husbands, which was indeed a very common reality in society.

But Li Lanzhou is not such a woman.

She is also a girl from a big family, raised by pampering, highly educated, and even has her own property.She doesn't agree with the reality that women are attached to men, but she doesn't know where her way out is.

Moreover, she and Lin Rongxuan finally got married because of love and had a child together.As much emotion and expectation as she had placed on Lin Rongxuan, after the birth of her child, she felt so deeply disappointed and sad about Lin Rongxuan.

She has paid so much for giving birth to Lin Junchuo, why Lin Rongxuan not only can't understand, but also dislikes her figure, her scars and stretch marks, and her milky smell.

Lin Rongxuan has always said that women should suffer when they give birth to children. Isn't it right for women to do these things?Why did Li Lanzhou feel that she was the greatest, sacrificed the most, and suffered the most after giving birth?Li Lanzhou's mentality is simply inexplicable, and it is terribly hypocritical.

Li Lanzhou never understood why, after the child was born, Lin Rongxuan seemed to have changed into a stranger she didn't know.

The gap between husband and wife is getting deeper and deeper, even Li Lanzhou's parents don't even know that their daughter has severe postpartum depression - in that era, the concept of postpartum depression was not popularized.

But after Li Lanzhou jumped off the building, everyone found her diary, and then they understood her pain these years.

——The breasts are swollen and painful, am I going to die?I felt that what was hanging on my chest was not breasts, but two iron balls, which were heavy and painful, and hurt all the time.When the baby sucks milk, he often bites the nipple sorely or even breaks it. Every time he takes a bite, he gnashes his teeth in pain.

The baby needs to feed every two hours, it takes more than half an hour to feed, and half an hour to pat him.Every time the nanny watched me being bitten by the baby, she would cry along with me.

Why on earth should I have a baby?

— Putting a child to bed drives people crazy.

It must be patted gently, and the movement must master the strength and frequency, and a child who is not careful will cry hard.The nanny and I took turns taking care of the children, and my wrists were so painful that they cramped.

——The baby has colic, and he needs to massage his stomach all day and all night, otherwise he will cry non-stop for a second.The nanny fell asleep after massaging, and I could only hold on and continue massaging the baby.

——The baby was born with too little weight, and it was difficult to give birth.I didn't dare to go out, fearing that I would catch the flu or other germs outside and come back and infect my baby.

Every night I would be awakened by nightmares, fearing that he would be hot in summer and cold in winter.

I would stretch my fingers about twenty times a night to feel the baby's breath.

Every time the baby has a runny nose, coughs and sneezes, I will have uncontrollable panic and fear: the baby has a cold, does the baby have pneumonia?The baby is so small, what if something serious happens?

Didn't the doctor say that if the baby is sick, it's easy to get over it.

I can't even take care of my own children, so what's the point of my life?

——Jin Ping is seven years old.

I feel like I don't want to live anymore.

I brought Jin Ping into this world. He was born from the union of loving parents, and I brought Jin Ping into this world.

He grew from five catties and one tael to fifty catties, and when he was seven years old, he was still an introverted and shy child who spoke softly and did not please his father.

I don't want to live anymore, Jin Ping is still so small and thin, just a tiny bit.

If I go, who will take care of him?

Jin Ping is my child, and I am the only one in the world who will take care of him wholeheartedly. His father doesn't love Jin Ping at all.

Good baby, mommy's baby, mommy will take you to leave this world together.

In heaven, your mother is with you too.

Li Lanzhou held Lin Junchuo and stood on the top floor of the seventy-odd floors, and at the moment of jumping off, he let go of Lin Junchuo.

Lin Junchuo saw with his own eyes his mother, in front of him, like a feather, falling from the top of the building to the downstairs, with blood continuously flowing out, like an extremely gorgeous flower blooming.

"After that, Jin Ping didn't say a word for three years." Lin Rongxuan said softly, "I used to think that he would never get married in his life."

The first time he saw Lin Muting just now, he almost thought he saw Lin Junchuo when he was young.

They are all so sensitive, so introverted, and full of hostility to the whole world.

Lin Muting like this made him seem to see himself in the past.

The long years made him realize the unforgivable mistake he made at that time, but this mistake is irreparable.

This regret not only caused irreparable scars on Lin Junchuo's body, but also drew an insurmountable gap between them.

Lin Muting was silent for a long time before asking, "Why did you tell me this today?"

"I know why your mother committed suicide. Both you and Jin Ping must bear the inescapable responsibility for her death."

Lin Rongxuan put down the teacup in his hand, with a serious expression on his face, and his voice was low and firm, "I tell you this, in the hope that you can understand that the similar fate makes Jin Ping feel pity for you, and this is not love, more It's not a guarantee of staying together forever. If Jin Ping's depression and autism relapse, it will be someone who shines like the sun, not you who are exactly like him, that can bring him back to life."

Lin Muting was shocked suddenly, trembling all over, and forced out a sentence from his throat, "Love is not only about making up for each other, but also attracting because of similarity..."

In "Wuthering Heights", Catherine once said to Heathcliff, you are closer to my soul than I am.

You are like me.

Why can't this be the reason for two people to love each other?

"Since your mother died, you have decided to give up Jinpin, haven't you?"

Lin Rongxuan's eyes were desolate and sad, "If you can give up on him once, you can give up on him for the second time. While I am alive, I can still guard him. If I go away in the future, you will leave him again. At that time , who can guard him again?"

Lin Muting is only 17 years old, which is really too young.

The world and temptation he is about to encounter are not clear to him at all, and they are also unpredictable.

His relationship with Lin Junchuo directly killed his biological mother. This is an insurmountable gap between him and Lin Junchuo, which cannot be bridged in a lifetime.

If Lin Muting grows up, he changes his mind about Lin Junchuo.

If Lin Muting's family disagrees with his cheating, he will give up Lin Junchuo again.

If Lin Junchuo is old, Lin Muting will despise Lin Junchuo.

With so many ifs, it is really impossible not to worry Lin Rongxuan as his father.He is already at this age, and his health is not good, so he will not be able to take care of his only son for a long time.

Getting it and then losing it is the same as never getting it. The blow to a person is not the same.

Especially this blow came from a lover who was so similar to Lin Junchuo and fell in love with each other.

Lin Rongxuan still remembers that in the three years after his wife passed away, Lin Junchuo was like a doll, never crying or laughing, making noise or screaming, spending so many years in his own world, it seemed like it was going to last forever.

During those three years, what he was most afraid of was not Lin Junchuo accusing him of killing his wife, nor the scolding from relatives and friends, but if he went too, who would take care of the young Lin Junchuo?

What would Lin Junchuo do after his only son became a puppet and died?

At that time, he only hoped that he could die behind Lin Junchuo.

Overwhelming fear and pain enveloped Lin Muting, Lin Rongxuan's every word seemed to tear off his hidden fig leaf, completely exposing his cowardice and timidity to the sun, allowing him to see his own ugliness and filth, He almost yelled, and suddenly stood up from the chair, "You don't have to worry about me pestering Lin Junchuo again, and you don't have to condescend to persuade me again. Mr. Lin, you probably don't know why my mother jumped off the building My mother saw me making out with Lin Junchuo and committed suicide by jumping from the balcony of my house in front of me. What right do I have to be with Lin Junchuo? Tell me, why should I live happily with another man again? go down!"